r/Suburbanhell • u/Konradleijon • May 11 '26
This is why I hate suburbs I hate suburbs so much.
A whole block of ugly ass lawns could fit inside an apartment building imagine all the space to save for nature. Imagine if people lived in apartments and instead walked or bus in a city m
There ugly monuments to copious consumption and the toxic nature of the nuclear family and segregation.
There are some suburbs made before cars for street cars that have public transport and more mixed use buildings that are better for people but not any suburb made in the last fifty years
2
u/NoTax4982 May 12 '26
I think suburbs could be optimized more but they are ideal for raising families. I’m looking for a new apartment now and every review is terrible. Roaches, stolen packages, cars getting towed, no available parking, loud neighbors, constant smell of weed, and nonstop maintenance issues. Don’t forget fees for everything and the price always goes up. It’s at the point where I’m just to going to rent a room in someone’s house. Apartment living can be a nightmare if you’re not rich.
2
u/Konradleijon May 12 '26
Where your kid can’t go anywhere by themselves
1
May 13 '26
They can. I grew up in the suburbs and would ride bikes with my friends, go eat fast food, chill at the park, go to the store, etc all the time. Suburbs are not nearly as inaccessible as people paint them to be.
4
u/JF_WPA May 11 '26
Sure, apartments are fine for a lot of people, but not fine in so many cases if you value:
- True peace and quiet not being part of another tenants life via noise
- No pets allowed or perhaps just cats / birds /small mammals / fish. Tired of stepping in dog shit / barking
- Ease of parking for a single vehicle, using good public transport / bike the majority of the time.
- Not smelling super powerful cooking / smoking / dryer exhaust discharge
- Management company that really delivers on promises, keeping riffraff out / in check
1
u/Konradleijon May 11 '26
Many of those are based on faulty construction and not apartments as a whole
1
u/JF_WPA May 11 '26
I have rented in low $ apartments and high $ duplexes and noise is always a problem, among a myriad of other issues. I think the construction is without fault - It perfectly fills the builders pockets for the low-grade crap that goes for apartments in much of the USA. When I lived in Germany in the 90s, my apartment there made every one I have lived in, in the USA seem like a cardboard shit-shack.
2
u/Combat__Crayon May 11 '26
I don’t know, based on other posts in this sub, the suburbs are an auditory hellhole due to lawn mowers and leaf blowers.
2
u/JF_WPA May 11 '26
Very true per my prior experience, but I'll tell you: Having people pound / bang on a shared wall, constantly stomp above you, slam cupboards and front doors, drop heavy things that make you jump, slam heavy sliding doors so hard your walls shake, hearing the commode flushing, hearing loud music shake your floor from a-hole below you and a million other things are FAR WORSE, at least to me than just exterior noise - Which you also have to endure living in apartments as well.
Noise pollution is so harmful, yet so minimized in this country and it is only getting so much worse.
3
u/Successful-Reason403 May 11 '26
Imagine if people lived in apartments and instead walked or bus in a city m
You don’t have to imagine it. Many people do live this life.
Others prefer a big house with a yard and aren’t bothered by driving.
Hope this helps.
1
u/Konradleijon May 11 '26
It’s actually illegal to build anything that isn’t a single house suburb in most of America
5
2
u/kit-kat315 May 11 '26 edited May 11 '26
Can you back that up?
I mean, I've lived in apartments in multiple suburbs. Sometimes big old houses split up into units. Sometimes planned apartment buildings.
I live in an upscale suburban neughborhood now and there's two apartment buildings for diasabled people on the main drag (like .5 mile away).
4
u/ButterscotchSad4514 May 11 '26
1/3 of Americans live in an apartment. You can be in that 1/3 if you want.
20
u/SteelSlayerMatt May 11 '26 edited May 11 '26
I feel the same way because suburbia is literally a prison.
Also, one of the biggest reasons suburbia is so unpleasant is that it tends to be filled with antisocial people.
17
u/ButterscotchSad4514 May 11 '26
The suburbs are not a prison. There are no walls to hold you in. If you want to live elsewhere you have total freedom to do so. Or, if there are reasons thing you to the suburbs like family arrangements, that is your prison. Not the suburbs.
12
u/lafeber May 11 '26
Hopefully this is an exception, but I recall a suburb that was only connected to a highway. Seemed very hard to leave without a drivers license.
7
u/CantoErgoSum May 11 '26
Seemed very hard to leave without a drivers license.
Ah, yes. Someone recognizing a major point, a matter of privilege and access.
3
u/tinytigertime May 11 '26
Entirely moot point.
If you dont have the $20 for an Uber you dont have the $ to uproot your life anyway. Which again the suburbs wouldnt be your prison. Either your $ or your disability is.
-1
u/Santa_Ricotta69 May 12 '26
Ah yes, the privilege and access of a driver's license that anyone can get at 16 years old
8
u/LivingGhost371 May 11 '26
Yeah, I'd feel like a prisoner in an apartment building where there's no private lush green yard with a deck, hammock, trees, and even maybe a pool to step out into.
4
u/Aisling207 May 12 '26
Cute that you think there are trees in the suburbs.
3
u/LivingGhost371 May 12 '26
I'm sitting under a cute 70 foot Red Maple tree in my hammock in the suburbs as I type this.
1
u/McLargepants May 12 '26
The first thing new communities do near me is plant trees. Obviously takes time to establish. My 30 year old house has a 40 ft tree in the front, a 30 foot maple in the back, an absolutely massive weeping cherry on the side and a couple absolutely massive evergreens in the back for privacy. It’s not a high end place at all but it is the standard for my area. It’s shocking to hear there are new build communities that don’t plant trees when they build by default.
1
u/Successful-Reason403 May 12 '26
Plenty of trees in mine including 100+ year old live oaks. We basically spend all of April trying not to get stung by caterpillars because there are so many trees for them to fall out of.
2
u/CantoErgoSum May 11 '26
I lived in a building with all of those things in a major city for five years.
3
u/ButterscotchSad4514 May 11 '26
When living in a suburb is compared to imprisonment, you are know you’re taking to a privileged bunch.
0
May 11 '26
3
1
u/m4a785m May 12 '26
It's a prison if you don't have money maintaining it, which at that point you shouldn't buy a house with a pool
-1
u/SteelSlayerMatt May 11 '26
They most certainly are, and if I could move, I would in a heartbeat, but not everyone can just move that easily.
5
u/ButterscotchSad4514 May 11 '26
You are subordinating your choice to live in the city to other considerations. That is fine. The suburbs are not a prison and it is borderline hysteria to make such a claim. There are no walls to hold you.
3
u/CantoErgoSum May 11 '26
The suburbs are not a prison and it is borderline hysteria to make such a claim. There are no walls to hold you.
The walls aren't physical, but I'm THRILLED you said this publicly LMAO
-1
1
u/Major_Shlongage May 11 '26
This is just such a weird, weird take.
If you don't like the suburbs, simply move somewhere else.
11
u/JimBones31 May 11 '26
I live somewhere else. I still hate the suburbs because they are killing the environment.
1
u/Successful-Reason403 May 11 '26
The data center that powers Reddit is also killing the environment, yet here you are
4
1
-2
u/IBYJohnnyOnTheSpot May 11 '26
No, most of the shit that makes your lifestyle possible is coming from long distances. When the coming energy crisis gets to full swing cities will shrink dramatically due to their inefficiency.
Super high density areas only exist because of cheap energy. Terrible for the environment btw
1
6
u/SteelSlayerMatt May 11 '26
If I could, I would in a heartbeat, but not everyone can just move that easily.
4
u/CantoErgoSum May 11 '26
And it's deliberately hard for you to get out of there for a reason.
2
u/Ok_Ruin4016 May 11 '26
You could say the same thing about anywhere people live. It's hard for people who live in a city to leave because they rely on public transportation and their job is in the city. It's hard for people who live in rural areas to leave because they live so far from anywhere else. Moving your life to another area is always hard, but people in suburbs arguably have it the easiest because they are more likely to be middle class compared to people in urban cities and rural areas where there are larger numbers of low income people. No one is keeping you in a suburb but yourself.
2
u/qqzn10 May 11 '26
suburbians insist on being able to drive into the city and park wherever they please, ruining things for the rest of us that don't want to live in their hellhole
they feel entitled to visit us, but they don't want US visiting THEM
this is all enabled by government subsidies mind you
4
u/CantoErgoSum May 11 '26
they feel entitled to visit us, but they don't want US visiting THEM
Correct! Inherent to the planning of suburbia by both Robert Moses and William Levitt, this is a deliberate aspect of the marketing of suburbia.
-1
u/Brisby820 May 11 '26
You mean metaphorically, not literally
0
May 12 '26
1
u/Brisby820 May 12 '26
It hasn’t, though. It still serves a great purpose as a word and people who can read still use it correctly
-2
u/Santa_Ricotta69 May 12 '26
Your apartment is the prison, and you know it. You want others to suffer because they live the lifestyle you truly want.
4
u/SteelSlayerMatt May 12 '26
Actually, I live in a house in suburban hell, and that is how I know how awful it is.
→ More replies (1)
11
u/ButterscotchSad4514 May 11 '26
You sound like a very unhappy person. If the suburbs aren’t your cup of tea, then why not live in a city and stop worrying about someone else’s choice for their family?
Today’s US suburbs are 1/3 non-White and bear no resemblance to any sort of model of segregation.
I’m not sure what it that you have against the nuclear family but I’m certain that it is not a creation of the suburbs. If anything, the suburbs offer more space for intergenerational living arrangements.
4
u/m4a785m May 12 '26
Nope! Sorry, suburbs are racist, sexist, and literal prisons of death (despite actual problems going on in the real world)
0
u/ButterscotchSad4514 May 12 '26
With a nonwhite population of 33% and a female population of 50% and prices that are rising more rapidly than in cities, racist, sexist prisons of death seem to be very popular these days.
8
u/ZaphodG May 11 '26
I live in coastal suburbia. I have a boat in the harbor. The beach is a mile. I’m 2 miles from the city line of a city of 100,000. From there, I have commuter rail to Boston. In the other direction, it turns semi-rural and the town has 10 square miles of green space. Lots of walking trails. Great bicycling. I can walk to lots of restaurants. There used to be a streetcar line here until World War II. It’s been replaced by bus service. There is a 7,500 student state university in town. I grew up here. I was fine walking or with a bicycle. Now with e-bikes, you could get by without a car for maybe 250 days per year.
7
u/SummitingMtJohnston May 11 '26
The problem with places like that is homes start at $700k and property tax alone is upwards of $10k/year. They're expensive because loads of people want to live there, and NIMBY's fight tooth and nail to prevent new construction. As a New Englander, it's a wonderful life that we're privileged to enjoy, but boy is it an expensive one.
1
u/ZaphodG May 11 '26
My mil rate is $8.26 per thousand valuation. A $700k house pays $5,782 in property taxes. My house is assessed at around 20% below fair market value. That is typical so people don’t fight their appraisals. The tax bill for a $700k house is likely to be a bit below $5k.
NIMBY tends to fight high density housing. If a lot meets zoning requirements you can build a single family home anywhere in town. I’m zoned for 100’ frontage and 20’ setbacks for anything subdivided within the last 30 years. I’m grandfathered to 10’ setback. The town also allows 900 sf ADUs. The state law is 800 sf ADUs. Lots with septic instead of sewer have different zoning. Nitrogen pollution laws are about to make septic systems expensive.
0
May 12 '26
0
May 12 '26
0
May 12 '26
1
u/ZaphodG May 12 '26
Juan, who owns the company, lives in a single family home bigger than mine a block from the ocean a mile away. A couple of his guys own houses.
4
u/KeyNaive8951 May 12 '26
Good lord, what a baby brained take lmao
“Suburbs are prison!!!” No, you’re just literally 14
9
u/wookiebath May 11 '26
You don’t have to live in the suburbs
7
u/WeAreHuskie May 11 '26
Think you just broke the brains of a few certain people in this thread.
4
-2
u/Accomplished-Door5 May 12 '26
Wait until the schizo-poster who keeps talking about Robert Moses sees this.
13
u/Brisby820 May 11 '26
You lost me at “Toxic nature of the nuclear family”
4
u/LowNoise9831 May 11 '26
Yeah. That jumped right out, didn't it? What a weird take.
2
u/Guilty_Spray_1112 May 12 '26 edited May 12 '26
I don’t know why this sub shows up in my feed but man the people that start threads in it are just the most miserable people ever. “Toxic nature of the nuclear family,” lol whut? “Suburbs are literal hell” “suburbs are monuments to conspicuous consumption” ahh yes, I forgot everyone that lives in a walkable area like Manhattan or downtown San Francisco leads a monk like existence of basic subsistence with no modern conveniences or splurges or conspicuous consumption. Don’t get me wrong, most people don’t need houses as big as they end up buying but holy cow the misery some people must live in to come in here and start these threads.
8
u/CantoErgoSum May 11 '26
Suburbia was invented to be a human paddock, a.k.a. a prison for stupid people who apply a false moral value to wealth and isolation. You hate it for a reason.
4
u/Successful-Reason403 May 11 '26
Idk, I just like having a backyard for my kid and dog to run around in.
2
u/WeAreHuskie May 11 '26
No no no you’re mistaken, what you’re referring to is the toxic nature of the nuclear family!
2
u/Successful-Reason403 May 11 '26
This is true. One day my kid will write about how kicking a soccer ball around in the backyard with his dad ruined his life . But I’m just too selfish to give him want he really wants which is a tiny apartment in a city where he can ~walk everywhere~
-1
u/IBYJohnnyOnTheSpot May 11 '26
Instead of playing sports or riding bikes he can walk to five different over priced “local” coffee shop whose beans, packaging and other over-priced bullshit are shipped in from some third world hell hole.
0
u/IBYJohnnyOnTheSpot May 11 '26
I like walking out my door without being accosted by some fucked up panhandler every single time.
1
3
u/ButterscotchSad4514 May 11 '26
The available survey data show that people living in cities and suburbs have the same number of close friends and socialize equally often.
Just in case you don’t mind letting the facts get in the way.
-2
u/CantoErgoSum May 11 '26
The available survey data show that people living in cities and suburbs have the same number of close friends and socialize equally often.
That is not AT ALL what I meant by that. You know, just in case you don't mind not galloping in here to be wrong instantly.
→ More replies (50)2
u/Brisby820 May 11 '26
But this just isn’t true. The suburb I live in was founded in the 1600’s. You’re just making shit up
2
u/CantoErgoSum May 11 '26
Your area may have been rezoned since the 17th century LMAO
Especially if you're talking about anywhere along the eastern seaboard.
→ More replies (12)1
0
u/m4a785m May 12 '26
Thats right! A prison for the stupid! While all the low income apartment and city dwellers are the most intelligent!
0
May 13 '26
Living in the suburbs as both minor and as an adult homeowner, I don’t think you’d understand.
As a minor in the suburbs, you’re bound to hate it as it makes socializing extremely difficult during a time in your life when socialization is vital.
As a home owning adult in the suburbs, I cannot emphasize the relief I feel to live on a quiet street with 2000 square feet to call my own, a driveway, a pool, and a patio to grill on.
1
u/CheapAttention5178 May 11 '26
I'm more mad about how it feels suburbs run the show. Suburbs in the US take advantage of cities. These places are currently in pinch where they can afford to upkeep the large sewers, roads, and other infrastructure costs that balloon by being so spread out. The cities drive most of the wealth, and then it is siphoned off to keep these suburbs running.
In growing cities there is no middle ground between suburbs and the city because NIMBY politics stop denser development to protect home prices. So, you end up with a bunch of weird cities that feel like no one lives in them, everyone just lives in the massive sprawl of suburbia outside. It feels like it has taken the soul out of most American cities.
Suburbia should be an option to the people willing to pay more for the added cost of living far enough away from others but not too far from a city that you can't get the perks. It should not be the status quo.
0
4
6
5
u/MikeTyson456123 May 11 '26
“toxic nature of nuclear family”
this is classic marxism, whether konradleijon knows it or not. parents = bad because they might teach little johnnie not to worship the communist party
2
u/Krenkos_Rock_Sled May 12 '26
Hey when your Dad came inside your mom, do you think she knew what a disappointment you'd end up? Like, should she have agreed to anal that night? Really makes you think.
1
u/MikeTyson456123 May 12 '26
How’s that boot taste? Your poor parents must be devastated to see little Krenkos slurping down defeated dogma like a fat kid at a soda fountain.
2
u/Krenkos_Rock_Sled May 12 '26
Hmm, is it odd boot leather and your mother's cunt taste almost identical? I'm no communist, but then again, there are no communists in America. How old was your grandfather? Your dad clearly wasn't in the picture if you're spouting off Mcarthyisms like this without any provocation. What next, you gonna declare that communism has killed more than the holocaust? Oh I know, you're gonna attempt more insults that will hurt my feelings? Good luck, I guess, you haven't been making much of an impression thus far.
1
u/MikeTyson456123 May 13 '26
No point in debating stupid, especially when you are too dumb to engage in any discussion.
1
u/KeyNaive8951 May 12 '26
This is 100% posted by some 15 year old who just heard abt communism for the first time. At least I fkn hope so.
1
u/MikeTyson456123 May 12 '26
Have you even opened a book on communism? Let’s try to articulate some ideas here.
1
u/KeyNaive8951 May 13 '26 edited May 13 '26
Seriously, why must you ppl ALWAYS be like this? No dude, like most folks, I do not spend my time reading Marx, but I know more than enough about communism to speak on it.
Im not even anti communist, I just have known more than enough teenagers and people in college who get so swept up in at that they become completely insufferable and unable to interact with the world like a normal human, like OP. It’s a fairly well known trope, and OP appears to be aligning with it closely.
Did I articulate my ideas to you clearly enough to interact on fkn Reddit this time?
ETA: 9 out of 10 times these folks mature and become cool people, but it’s a lot for a teenager to handle.
1
u/MikeTyson456123 May 14 '26
You articulated zero ideas. Is your position that marxism encourages society built around the nuclear family? This should only require a basic knowledge of history.
5
2
u/Jernbek35 May 12 '26
I don’t know why this is popping up in my feed but I’d rather live in a house vs apartment ten times over. When I lived in an apartment it was noisy from all around me, the balconies were loud and constantly stunk of weed or cigarette smoke, I had no garage or space for any of my stuff and it felt cramped. My house now is spacious, quiet, and close to everything. OP is a whiner.
2
2
u/EasilyRekt May 12 '26
Why does everyone who hates suburbs just want to pave them over with apartment complexes centralized to a single corporate landlord? Especially when they’re bleeding heart neoliberals and there are tons of better options for dense housing. Never made sense to me.
2
u/Aprilmay19 May 12 '26
Not everyone wants to live with people under, over and beside them. Having to listen to their noise and smell their smells.
2
u/sHaDowpUpPetxxx May 12 '26
I feel the same about urban environments. Every part of them is fucking disgusting. Even the air feels gross. Everything you touch has been touched by hundreds of crazy people who have probably never washed their hands.
6
5
6
u/Afarting May 11 '26
“Toxic nature of the nuclear family…”.
9
8
→ More replies (2)2
u/Even-Promotion-4024 May 11 '26
Yeah, I def would prefer an emphasis on more walkable mixed use developments, but I don't want anybody associating me with this kinda crap lol
30
u/merRedditor May 11 '26
I think apartment construction being so awful is what drives people out to the suburbs, but nobody wants to address that because maximizing profit means building cheaply and quickly for maximum occupancy.
I saw a model of apartment in which concrete modules were stacked upon one another and each was more or less self-contained, and that seems like it might even be tolerable to live in, since you wouldn't be constantly aware of your neighbors through thin floors, thin walls, and vents circulating the same smoky, odorous air.
Initial construction cost would be higher, but they'd draw a lot of people who have oversized suburban homes away from everything just to get some peace.
If open to not having everything centralized, small cabins built into wooded lots along high speed rail would be nice as well. Again, though, profit maximization would have to take a back seat.