He was fine as hell too 😭😭 Oh well, another fish in the sea ✌️

I followed up with something like “I can take an invalidating opinion, but I hope that one day you start to see trans girls as girls, even if you’re not attracted to them”

Happened last night and even though I told him no and he didn’t push it I was still so out of it by the end. I was so grossed out by the idea of it that I couldn’t sleep like I had to go for a quick midnight walk to clear my head it was that bad. I wish my surgery would come sooner lol 😅

I'm genuinely starting to lose hope in finding a decent man.

My dating experiences over the past year have been absolute DOGSHIT. It's literally the same cycle of men claiming they want something serious, love bombing, being inconsistent, wasting my time, or just wanting to fuck me.

I've dealt with men who couldn't communicate, men who made plans they never followed through on, men who wanted all the benefits of having me around without actually committing to anything, and men who apparently think being attracted to a trans woman is something they need to hide.

I've even spent my own money trying to make things work with someone, just to end up disappointed by more empty promises. 💀

And the crazy part is I KNOW I'm not asking for anything unreasonable. I don't do hookups, I'm not interested in being someone's dirty little secret, and I refuse to lower my standards just because I'm trans.

I just want a masculine man who genuinely loves me, is proud to call me his girlfriend, and eventually wants to marry me.

LIKE WHY IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK???

At this point I wish I was attracted to women because being straight feels like a punishment. 😭

I'm only in my 20s and already feel like I'm going to spend the rest of my life single.

Any other straight trans girls starting to feel like finding an actual husband is damn near impossible, or is my dating life just uniquely cursed?

So typically I disclose before they ask to meet, since the whole political climate in the US is.... Ya know.... And when I first came out in like 2022, I'd date for quite some time with 0 issues. Took a break in 2024 until recently since life got busy

Matched with this guy yesterday and his first message asks why I don't advertise that I'm trans on my profile (should have known better than to entertain a response...), but been trying to make a conscious effort to put myself out there again...

Kinda surprised it took 4 years, but at the same time it's gotten me shaken up

I'm sure I'm not the only person here whose experienced this, but how do you ladies shake these things off? It's got me a little defeated and wanting to cancel a couple dates I have coming up :/

I feel bad about it, but beyond looking for a specific physical and emotional profile, I also feel that, for me to be happy, my partner needs to be cisgender. It’s not that I don’t consider trans men to be "real" men—some are lovely people—it’s just that, as things stand, surgical options for trans men aren’t as advanced; and since the intimate aspect of a relationship is fundamental to me, I’ve realized that I’m only attracted to cisgender men. Furthermore, cis men are more likely to fit the physical profile I’m looking for—though, of course, they can also be complete idiots.

And, well, I can’t deny that, in part, I’m seeking the kind of masculine validation that only a cisgender (preferably heterosexual) man can offer. What I hate about this is that cis men can sometimes be incredibly dense or ignorant—though, on the other hand, some are wonderful people. At the same time, I don’t want to be an exclusionary person; that wouldn’t be fair. Still, it’s some comfort to think that, to a greater or lesser extent, we all have our own criteria and look for specific traits in the people we choose to be with.

Is there something wrong with me for thinking this way—and feeling bad about it?

Him and I were chatting on the phone for 3 hours last night(felt like high school) and he mentioned in passing that he had said to his coworker "me and my girlfriend went on a hike last friday" and it just put such a massive smile on my face. I know it's a tiny little thing but it's good to celebrate the wins and share a little positivity!

Hello! I’ve been on hrt for almost 3 months and I can notice some big changes in my body. I was so excited and I waited all of my life for this to happen, and now that is happening I feel scared, insecure, I’m doubting myself somehow like do I really want this? I’m afraid of having boobs but I want them as well. I can’t understand and explain what I’m feeling. Is it normal?

No tea and no shade! It’s just so bland, this place really could use a banner

we need a little something, any ideas? Or am I doing too much by asking this? 🤣 doesn’t hurt to try though right?

Ok, so some back ground context. I’m 24MtF and bi. I’ve only dated women but kind of realised 6 months ago that I’m not happy at all in the role I end up in those relationships and so I’ve kinda come to the conclusion I’m likely romantically straight and that I’m only going to pursue dating men.

Fast forward to a couple months ago and I download the obligatory dating apps (Hinge, Bumble, etc) to try and see who’s out there. I’m very open with who I am on the apps. I by no means think I pass or anything but I think I look pretty a lot of the time and I feel more euphoric than dysphoric when I look in the mirror now. I get a lot of compliment and I’ve really tried to put in the effort to create a style that I think suits me and highlights my best features.

The reception on the apps is mixed. A lot of likes from guys who immediately go silent when we match, probably because they didn’t look at my profile long enough to realise I’m trans. And the few guys who do message me end up ghosting me once we actually get to the date planning stage (even though they asked me out and assured me they would be fine dating a trans woman). I’m kinda giving up hope and I’m on the verge of uninstalling when I get one more new match on Hinge.

He’s sweet and funny and he looks super cute in his pics. We agree to go on a date to a local bar and we end up spending about 4 hours walking around the city talking and making jokes with each other. He’s super progressive, is super smart and went to a great university and is extremely attractive. It honestly gets to the point where I start wondering why he could possible want to be here with me, which is something I eventually end up telling him. His response is to kiss me right then and there and I mean we’re not exactly surrounded by people but there’s still people around. That assurance that I wasn’t an embarrassment or going to be like a dirty secret was such a relief and only made the moment feel way more magical.

We exchange numbers, get off Hinge and message each other (I was actually super worried he was gonna ghost me after our first date out of like shame or something but he message the next morning saying how much fun he had). We’ve had a couple more dates since then and everything is going really well! It’s way too early to put a label on things but it’s been a super positive experience so far and unless some crazy new information or behaviour comes to light, I think it’s gonna keep progressing. I really love how it feels like he puts in extra effort to make me feel girly, but at the same time treats me like he would any other woman he was on a date with. I especially like how unbothered he is to be seen with and give me affection in public. It’s very affirming and isn’t something I felt I would ever get to feel.

Idky I wanted to share this, I think I just wanted to share with a crowd of people who might relate.

I had a guy on Hinge open the conversation by saying "How is locktober going?"

WHAT THE FUCK.

My parents finally said yes to hrt. But they want me to co-start therapy at the same time. They’re not exactly head over heels for me transitioning so it’s taking a very long time, and I’m just getting worse every single day. Does anyone have anything that cheers them up or could make this any better?

For context, I've been with my boyfriend for just a month and he's been nothing but respectful and loving.

I've met his parents twice and they are also very kind (They don't know I'm trans)

Despite having met his parents he seems to be super against the idea of me meeting his friends, to the point where I've asked for him to take me to places and he's flat out refused if he knows that it is a place where his friends are likely to be.

This is only my second serious relationship, and I'm not sure if this is just normal considering we've only been together 6 weeks. He's not met my friends yet either but he doesn't seem to be so against the idea of meeting them as with me meeting his friends.

This is just a weird date story I wanted to share. Admittedly, dating as a 31 year old transgender mom that is primarily interested in men is miserable and this was the first real date I had in a long time.

I went on a date with a guy last week (I've seen him a couple times since and things seem to be going well. Fingers crossed...) and we went out for dinner. It was our first date and the restaurant was busy so by the end of our date we had spent a good hour or so just chatting and clearly there was some chemistry there.

Well obviously someone else noticed because this random older lady stopped by our table near the end of our meal and went: "Excuse me... You two are going to get married, and you're going to have three children. Two boys and a girl..." and then just kinda wandered away.

Now I don't know if she was trying to be cute, or trying to make an actual psychic prediction, but needless to say I could not stop giggling after that. Disregarding the obvious issues with my having 3 more kids... I'm 31, by the time we're married and having our third I'd be closing in on 40 and I do not need that in my life.

Either way, it was a strange and amusing interaction. We joked about how we made it through our whole first date without making things weird and then this stranger showed up to make everything awkward right at the end.

People are weird

Transitioning gal here (31) and for some reason I kinda wanna get a womb tat, have wanted one for years. Wanted everyone’s opinion on it. (sorry if wrong thread, don’t know where else to ask this kinda thing, especially for gals like us)

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As a straight trans woman, I’ve found myself struggling with a thought that I honestly wish I didn’t have: sometimes, it feels like the men who date us can love us in certain ways while still being drawn to the fetishisation of trans women elsewhere.

I’m not saying every man who dates a trans woman is the same, and I know there are genuine, loving men out there. But it’s difficult not to become cynical when you start wondering whether a man is attracted to *you as a whole person* or whether his attraction to you exists alongside a separate fascination with trans women as a category, a fantasy, or a sexual experience.

What hurts is the thought that a man can hold you, tell you he loves you, make you feel beautiful and wanted, and still seek out the very kind of objectification that makes you question whether he ever really understood you in the first place.

For me, loyalty isn’t just about whether someone physically cheats. It’s also about feeling respected, knowing your partner sees you as a woman rather than a novelty, and trusting that the intimacy you share isn’t just one part of a much larger fantasy he keeps feeding in secret.

I think this fear can be especially difficult for trans women because we already have to navigate the difference between being genuinely desired and being fetishised. Sometimes the attention can feel affirming at first, until you start questioning what that attention is actually rooted in.

And then you wonder: if a man is attracted to me, but also seeks out other trans women as sexual content or objects of fantasy, where does that leave me? Am I someone he genuinely wants to build a life with, or am I simply the relationship-shaped part of an attraction he doesn't know how to separate from fetishisation?

I realise that looking at things this way might be unfair to some men. Being attracted to trans women, watching adult content, or having a particular preference doesn't automatically make someone unfaithful or incapable of love. I don't want to confuse attraction itself with betrayal.

But I also don't want to pretend that the fear comes from nowhere. There is a particular kind of loneliness in wondering whether the person who says he loves you truly respects you, especially when you know how easily some people reduce trans women to a fantasy.

I want to ask other trans women, particularly straight trans women: have you ever struggled to trust that a man who dates you can genuinely separate loving you from fetishising trans women and seeking femboys/sissies.

Have your experiences made you more cynical about male loyalty, or have you met men who made you feel genuinely secure, respected, and loved without feeling like you had to compete with a fetish?

I don't want to believe that every man who loves a trans woman will eventually betray her. But sometimes, after enough disappointment or uncertainty, it's difficult not to fear that this is how things will always be.

So I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 1 month now. He’s an amazing guy and likes to do things for me. Despite the fact he’s a wheelchair user, he always offers to open doors for me whenever we go out. It takes him a bit longer than anyone else to open a door, but he still does it. I’ve told him he shouldn’t bother to open every door for me, and that I can be the one to open doors for him to help him. I’ve opened doors for him, but he opens doors for me most of the time and says “ladies first”.I still appreciate that.

My boyfriend also pays for most of our dates. He paid the first one since he made the invitation, and has paid for other dates even if I’m the one who invites. I’ve told him that it’s not necessary that he pays for everything since I can pay for my own food, he doesn’t have a problem with me paying, but he says he prefers to be the one who pays to give me princess treatment on his own words.

He likes to say I’m a princess, and I do like this compliment because I feel he sees me as the woman I am. None of my ex-boyfriends ever referred to me as this. He has also given me some gifts with special details and claims I deserve them for being a good person.

My boyfriend is someone who’s pretty liberal, but still seems to be chivalrous around me. He often asks me how I feel and if there’s anything he can do to make me feel better to which I say that he does enough for me in our relationship.

What my boyfriend does, makes me feel good as a woman, but at the same time I like to be independent doing things on my own.

Im 15 and Ive realized that Im completely terrified by the thought of having sex and when I consider it, it makes me really nervous. I know its normal to not wanna/be nervous about sex when youre young, but I feel like it goes beyond that. I hear about parties and sex and all the other teenage stuff that people are doing, and when I think about doing it myself it makes my skin crawl. I already hate my body so much, and so the idea of showing it to someone else, and them interacting with it just seems completely impossible. Its not like I dont ever want to do it, but just that the dysphoria associated with it makes me not feel like I ever could. Im also starting HRT in couple months, and I know thatll affect stuff, which only makes me more nervous, since idk if Ill be able to perform. I doubt itll be a problem, since I dont usually get invited to parties, but I guess I just feel like other people are doing it, meanwhile its impossible for me. Its not even like I dont want to have sex, but just that my bottom and general body dysphoria makes it really scary. As well, what with how many chasers I see online, I feel like the guy wouldnt respect me and so I wouldnt enjoy it. Ill have to think about and do it eventually so. Is it normal to feel like this about sex and does anyone have any advice?

matched with a boy on tinder, he seemed nice, took the disclosure well, and we agreed to go on a date. we went, he took me to an absolutely lovely place for dinner and i really enjoyed my night with him, at the end of the date he walked me to my bus stop and we kissed. honestly the whole thing was giving me butterflies, i felt so normal for once, it actually felt like i was being treated as a human being rather than a porn fantasy. but literally as soon as he pulled back from kissing me he immediately asked if i wanted to go back to his place with him :( i said no because im generally not comfy with that, he seemed to accept it and we went our separate ways. i texted him to let him know i was home safe and we exchanged a goodnight. this morning i went to text him to say happy birthday, and found he unmatched me on tinder and blocked me on whatsapp, without as much as a word :( if there are nice, normal, respectful guys out there i can’t seem to find them anywhere

I noticed over the years when connections with male acquaintances, relationships and friendships withered away my quality of life has improved substantially. I sleep better, eat better I'm just in an overall better mood you know. Do a lot of guys just suck to keep around or do I keep inviting the wrong ones in? I feel like it might be a skill issue, but it's been such a persistent pattern? I mean there are plenty of decent guys I've encountered, and I do feel like at times I took them for granted because men like them seem to be rather scarce? When people clutch their pearls and say "but not all men!" part of me wishes I could believe this.

tw: sa

i'm terrified that i'll end up alone. for some weeks now i've cut off and tried to stay away from men for good but with male friends everything slowly starts to turn into attraction and it's a tricky yet easy road to follow. i wish i could stop myself from liking men, i don't think men have given me anything good to make up for how much i've given back to them.

this is just a rambling post but id love to know if anyone else here is ok or happy with just not settling down with anyone and living on her own? i've never done anything with a man, that is except for when i was sa'd, i don't think that counts but i might be mistaken. sometimes i wonder if the premise of true love and having a significant other is even a possibility for me.

but i will say that i don't want to feel alone just because i don't have a man by my side, i have my beautiful and loving dog aaand that's pretty much it, i have no friends at all and my family is just there. but im so full of love, and sadness, and i just want to pour it out but maybe it's not meant to happen. one thing that makes me happy is knowing that i have lots of dogs and some cats that really gravitate toward me and i can just feel so much love and kindness from them, maybe that'll be my outlet for experiencing love.

I’m so tired of matching with handsome, tall men, only for them to unmatch me the moment they read my bio. It makes me so sad when I "like" an attractive guy and he ends up unmatching me🫠.

Just yesterday, I liked two huge guys both over 1.90m (6'3")—but they both unmatched me! 😫 I’m on a swinger app, and I know that hot guys are often into trans women they’re genuinely attracted to us.

I’ve talked to a few, but guess what? it almost never goes anywhere! And when I do manage to connect with a handsome guy one who doesn't just seem like another unhinged "chaser" (the kind who’d hook up with a basketball player if he just put on a wig and some lipstick) it still ends up like this. Does this happen to you girls, too?

I feel like other queer groups have so many forms of representation and really commit to show their relationships in the fullest scope, developing a flourishing culture. I definitely found myself relating heavily with a lot of this, even sapphic works because there’s just something about that queer intimacy and resonance I value, can’t quiet relate to cishet romances or art pieces that much in comparison.

Obviously this isn’t the case for straight trans girls, and we could totally be just as loud and visible!
So many of the dolls I saw preforming drag are just one of the many subsets of representation I valued and I want to see more! I feel we’re lacking in other areas, but of course that could just be my perspective and at the end of the day, if you want something, you make it or go find it! I’m definitely putting my best foot forward towards that

Definitely want to start promoting art, romances, content, and our joy from more straight and bi girls, showing our happy endings, transfemme authors artists and creators, vloggers, so on and so forth. I’ll definitely consider sharing anything I find

Was wondering if anyone had any recommendations and if this resonates with anyone? ❤️