Rant about rush

[u/Agile-Temperature587]

Rush happened a month ago, but I’m still thinking of the results. I go to a small school with only 4 sororities, and I had never really wanted to rush. But I decided to rush anyway because it seemed like a fun experience anyway.

House tours and philanthropy were sooo amazing. I loved talking to all of the girls and seeing what everyone was so passionate about. I was a bit icked in every house since I had to pair up at all of them but one. I didn’t want to talk over the other girl, so I felt like I couldn’t make a good impression.

I only had one house where I talked to girls by myself, not in a group, and it stood out to me. I knew two girls in that house before rushing, one from a club im in and another from high school tennis, so I felt great in the house. Talking to them again was amazing, and they were the only two I was paired up with that round. Given that I knew the two girls, I felt pretty good about being called back to the house for sisterhood.

The next day, I saw that I only got one house back, and it was a house where I did not feel comfortable at all (and it was wayyy too expensive for me). I understood why I wasn’t called back to the other two, since I was in a group and I figured I just didn’t stand out when interviewed with another girl beside me. I just don’t understand what I did wrong to not be called back to my top house. I thought I’d have a better chance since I knew the girls that talked to me and conversation felt natural. I ended up dropping after sisterhood, mainly because I couldn’t afford the one house I got back and I didn’t feel home-y in there.

I guess I’m just wondering what I did wrong to not be called back to that house. I want to do COB, so I reached out to the girl I played tennis with and she talked to their COB girl about me. Now I’m just waiting for any news from that. It’s just been stuck in my mind since I don’t want to seem desperate, given that they didn’t want me back the second day of rush. I don’t think I was even just cut off from their numbers since two girls were given a bid a couple days after bid day who had also dropped when I did.

Sorry for this long post, I just wanted to rant and maybe get some advice on how to approach COB. I really see myself in this house and I hope they do have some spots open.

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[u/SpacerCat]

I think you may have missed a social cue. If you were with one member and one PNM and you talked over the PNM to make an impression - the impression you made was that you’re not a team player.

There are probably other factors, your GPA, your on campus involvement, other resume worthy things. But it sounds like you treated it too much like a job interview and not a can I fit in socially interview.

I wish you the best for COB, but you should also give any house that has spaces a look at too.

[u/Agile-Temperature587 → u/SpacerCat]

Oops I meant to say I didn’t talk over her! I’m just waiting for other chapters to post about their COB

[u/throwaway_my_roses → u/Agile-Temperature587]

Or maybe you waiting for the other girls’ conversation to die down before taking your turn to talk made it look like you weren’t very sociable in a group dynamic and had zero to add into the conversation.

[u/MsThrilliams]

Its easy to speculate about what may have gone wrong but its also totally possible it doesn't actually have to do with you. It could be that there are limits they hit for new members, it could be that maybe people didnt know you when the sisters were voting (and this could be like not knowing your full name).

[u/therushguideco]

There are a lot of PNMs that don't know how much your formal recruitment experience hinges off of your recruitment application. At big and small schools, your application is getting pre-scored and evaluated for who you should talk to. Since you knew people in the chapter and it was a smaller school, it's possible that they requested to talk to you.

Some chapters are required to release 50% or more of the PNMs they saw after the first round and that is normally based off of your pre-score and your first round conversations.

All this being said, as an advisor I've seen multiple members who we released from recruitment because numbers wise we had to eventually get COB bids. So I do think you have a chance if they have spots open.

[u/OkHuckleberry290]

You may have done nothing wrong. Think of it this way: a company needs to fill a job. They go through multiple rounds of interviewing people - and at every interview, they make the candidates feel welcomed and wanted. Ultimately they have to drop down to just two candidates. You were cut right before that round. Not because of anything you did, likely, but because you were not as good a fit as the others.

Sororities just know who a fit for their sisterhood is as the rounds go by. They can only take a certain number back to the next round. Let's say they could bring 50 back. You might have been #51, so you lost out.

The entire chapter has to vote on each PNM so knowing a few girls in the house is great and helps but ultimately the entire chapter votes. As for other things - you left a good impression but not a great one. Or maybe you were a bit too quiet or too loud for some girls so they scored you lower. It's any and all things.

[u/International_Map138]

You said it yourself..."You didn't really want to rush, but you did." I think in conversation that probably showed to girls you talked to. My Daughter was absolutely thrilled to go through Recruitment and it was very important to her. She kept an open mind and poured herself into every interaction yet knew that she would end up where she was supposed to be. It is possible you got a bid where you truly fit even though it didn't fit your vision or finances.