r/SipsTea • • 5d ago

Chugging tea Men... we're simple creatures

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

35.8k Upvotes

5.8k comments sorted by

1

u/AutoModerator 5d ago
Moderator Announcement Read More »

13.9k

u/StrawberryTerry 5d ago

She makes two good points.

801

u/_ganjafarian_ 5d ago

Very poignant points

1.1k

u/RamenChicken8 5d ago

Indeed very perky!

65

u/Bogusky 5d ago

It's nice to see this sub getting back to the basics

359

u/Kortash 5d ago

To destroy the world of many men. There are bras like that, which make it seem like you see the nip, but you don't. Jennifer Aniston wore them a lot in Friends for example.

17

u/YadaYadaYeahMan 5d ago

uh yeah ... we knew what was being discussed, and in fact could go and veiw the video again if we were afraid of forgetting

3

u/HieronymousRex 5d ago

I too also just found out

→ More replies (16)

133

u/Significant-Risk2094 5d ago

There's something very fishy about this, Robin...

3

u/Appropriate_Steak486 4d ago

Catlike, too.

→ More replies (5)

22

u/BurdTurglary 5d ago

She gave a very pointed response alright. A little prickly

10

u/QTown2pt-o 5d ago edited 5d ago

It's a tit bit nipply out, breast she get inside and turn on the hooter

→ More replies (30)

137

u/Slow_Operation_2048 5d ago

Hell, I'm a straight married lady and even I couldn't hear her over her nips!

→ More replies (5)

88

u/Dezma15 5d ago

two very pointy goods I would say

39

u/woodworkingfonatic 5d ago

I see the president has equipped his daughter with ballistic too

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (131)

4.4k

u/Evolutionary_sins 5d ago

To be fair we'd look at a basement if another man asked us too. It's nothing more than curiosity and indulgence of our friends current project or problems. And I'll always eat if I'm offered food, that's just being polite

346

u/YouDontCThatEveryDay 5d ago

Yeah it's kinda a rule that if someone has a basement, ya check it out. Even if its a cellar. Ya just have to.

192

u/RandomCandor 5d ago

Like, can we just stop talking about this and go check out the basement already? I don't know how much more I can take. 

What if it's a cool basement? Nobody asks you to check out their basement unless it's cool. I bet you this one is super cool.

41

u/Gr8rSherman8r 4d ago

Like I don’t know why we’re not checking out the basements right now.

Pitter patter.

21

u/ThePerfectSnare 4d ago

Sorry, I got sidetracked by this cool stick I found outside. I'm not sure which branch it fell from, but we should have time to figure that out after we see the basement.

4

u/Bane8080 4d ago

Damn it, I'm going to have to go visit my dad this weekend now. He has an awesome basement.

7

u/sax6romeo 4d ago

I love looking at unfinished basements and imagining the possibilities

2

u/MintyFresh771 4d ago

I bet there is at least a toad if not some chil lil frogs in it. Who could resist checking?

4

u/RemarkableCard6475 4d ago

Actually reminded me of a basement i had the opportunity to see for a previous job. It had a natural spring innit from the erupting ground water around the foundation. They had salamanders and iron ore, we actually came up with a plan to finish the basement while preserving the "spring", allowing the water to escape naturally and see the water flowing through.

2

u/Reasonable-Leg-2002 4d ago

I’ve asked fellow diy friends to come over and check out concerning issues with my house

2

u/coralwaters226 4d ago

Man I'm so glad you want to see my basement, it's just great. Quick question- on a scale of poor to excellent, how would you rate your kidney health and liver function?

2

u/Temnothorax 4d ago

You gotta show off every basement because it feels weird to give a house tour and skip a whole level. Unless it’s the attic, we don’t need to see the attic.

→ More replies (2)

46

u/rezonsback 5d ago

I've travelled Eastern Europe and got invited to many basements. Usually fully of home made wines and pickled foods. Good times happen in basements, and I assume hers is pretty fine too

95

u/Confident_Shape_7981 5d ago

Especially if they have Amontillado down there

44

u/cymshah 5d ago

Better had be a whole cask

7

u/Remarkable_Dream9191 4d ago

you have no idea what i would do for a cask of amontillado

12

u/MisinformedGenius 5d ago

For God’s sake Montresor!

2

u/Sir_PressedMemories 4d ago

Sure do got a lot of bricks down here...

5

u/Cheepshooter 4d ago

We have Amontillado at home.

5

u/SaintCharmed 4d ago

That's just Cabernet

4

u/gigglemaniac 4d ago

BYOB: bring your own bricks

4

u/Disgod 4d ago

Best I can offer is a 18th century well.

2

u/SaintCharmed 4d ago

I need to re read that story. Its been ages

2

u/Reasonable-Leg-2002 4d ago

Or a black cat

6

u/Efficient-Process660 4d ago

My house has this weird ass painted version of Blake from Workaholics on the wall. Its a storm cellar.

Looks like some hippy mofo was high as hell down there chillin with spiders for hours doing it

→ More replies (1)

4

u/YadaYadaYeahMan 5d ago

you just didn't get to see a lot of basements!

3

u/WhyWhowants2No 5d ago

Rule #2: It puts the lotion on the skin.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/OldSkoolAK 4d ago

I definitely want to see her basement. If she says she's got a starfish down there, im RUNNING

3

u/jethvader 4d ago

Cellar? I hardly know her! Ha!

I’m just joshin’ ya, let’s go look at that foundation of yours.

2

u/project-bandit 4d ago

I prefer attics personally

3

u/YouDontCThatEveryDay 4d ago

Who wants to drag a body up an attic?

2

u/AnybodyWannaPeanus 4d ago

Mine is my shop. My wife won’t go down there because it’s so messy. Basically, it’s perfect. If she does go down there, I’m probably in some deep shit.

2

u/67CamaroSS350 4d ago

Our family friend bought an old house and the first thing we did was go check out the basement and then we saw the rest of the house.

2

u/Conscious-Farmer6953 3d ago

He'll even a shed or a hunting blind. If it has at least a roof or one wall, of course it needs to be observed, discussed and either complimented or condemned. It's just courtesy.

→ More replies (4)

1.0k

u/picturepath 5d ago

If this chick told me to go check her basement, I would say no thank you. This is exactly how you end up in a tub full of ice.

585

u/revarien 5d ago

doubtful on the tub full of ice in this economy bro

137

u/OatmealCoffeeMix 5d ago

No tub either. Just an old, used box. Common courtesy.

5

u/DannarHetoshi 4d ago

Y'all had a box?

4

u/sax6romeo 4d ago

Couldn’t even afford the ice bro, puddle on the floor

11

u/Fufflin 5d ago

Soo...

Half-empty plastic washtub of lukewarm water?

3

u/RemarkableCard6475 4d ago

Looks like water... Starting burn. What's that buzzing sound?

3

u/GIJoJo65 3d ago

More like all 114 of her Yeti Bottles. Hacksaws are still affordable...

4

u/Practical-South-2966 4d ago
  1. Buy ice on credit.

  2. Remove kidney.

  3. My kidney guy gives me $125.

  4. Boom. Pay off the ice. Easy $25.

3

u/KnuckleShanks 4d ago

Its ok it's you can write it off as a business expense.

2

u/Allthumbs21 5d ago

A bucket and an ice pack.

→ More replies (6)

83

u/PM-ME-BOOBS-PLZ-THX 5d ago

Me too. No way a chick this hot gets me into her basement without me thinking it's a trap.

12

u/CordeCosumnes 4d ago

You're all getting it wrong. You're suppose to walk around her, nodding your head, saying "not bad..."

35

u/flibz-the-destroyer 5d ago

I mean, it’s a risk - but it’s a calculated risk

3

u/insanemal 4d ago

I'm just terrible at math

→ More replies (1)

22

u/traumacase284 5d ago

Or with charges.

28

u/Coakis 5d ago

That sounds chill.

8

u/TheDrDojo 5d ago

Thats a risk I'm willing to take

3

u/citizen42069101 4d ago

This is where hubris comes in and she's right. Also the guy talking about curiosity and ooo a basement. Ooo sure I'll take a drink. I could get out if I had to. Until you get bonked or drink a roofie lite.

This is why you leave stranger women alone gentlemen, so they don't roofie you and harvest your organs. That might work to solve other problems too, I think we need to start a mens Safety campaign.

3

u/koreanbeefcake 4d ago

my back hurts a lot. Ice bath would help with the inflammation,

4

u/Quick_Resolution5050 5d ago

Pssh, who needs two.

→ More replies (44)

145

u/TwoIdleHands 5d ago

I have straight joked with several men on bumble about my murder basement. They all wanted dates 😅.

173

u/Valuchian 5d ago

As a man of the internet... yeah, hearing someone has hobbies is always interesting.

35

u/DoubtfulOfQuantizing 5d ago

Absolutely! And if something does come out of it, it's only good for the relationship that both parties can have a bit of me time with their respective hobbies every now and then. I'll play my vidya and read my books in the living room while she is procuring the parts for her flesh golem in the basement and afterwards we can talk about it at supper.

13

u/YouFeedTheFish 5d ago

Right. It's important to talk.

2

u/timbit87 4d ago

Not just hobbies but willing to talk about them without being interrogated! Dreams can come true ~~~

1

u/MidnightPale3220 12h ago

I first read it as "has shared hobbies" because that sorta would make more sense.

1

u/Valuchian 12h ago

Oh heavens no! I'm not rich enough for a basement

1

u/[deleted] 4d ago

1

u/AutoModerator 4d ago

Accounts must be at least 5 days old with >20 karma to comment.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

28

u/Clean_Livlng 5d ago edited 4d ago

If it's actually a murder basement, then I don't need to come into work on Monday.

It's win/win.

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (38)
→ More replies (74)

1.0k

u/Flowmeyo 5d ago

5

u/Koolmidx 4d ago

So glad I'm not the only person that noticed this

7

u/bajsfittor 4d ago

There was never a code to see what happened after "get out of these wet clothes" huh?

2

u/SirHolyCow 2d ago

Dawg 🤣

1

u/Imaginary_Error87 1d ago

So that’s where they got the design for the front end of the cyber truck.

1.6k

u/nachocoalmine 5d ago

I'm not understanding why I shouldn't check out your basement and eat whatever you give me.

231

u/EclecticAscethetic 5d ago

Fatal Attraction? Misery? I guess they just don't make movies like they used to.

104

u/edgiepower 5d ago

Doesn't Michael Douglas get fucked to exhaustion in fatal attraction?

I'm not seeing the downside

→ More replies (12)

22

u/Lazy-Conversation-48 5d ago

Arsenic and Old Lace if you’re old like me.

→ More replies (5)

8

u/Snowy349 5d ago

Misery was exceptional.

4

u/Ninjahkin 5d ago

Also Obsession, but that one was kinda self-inflicted

→ More replies (4)

98

u/Disallowed_username 5d ago

Yeah! Is she insinuating that she wouldn’t? That would be so rude!

→ More replies (2)

24

u/Tephros83 5d ago

She was playing Skyrim, heard the comments of Babette and Gabriella and thought, “I could do that.”

8

u/errantqi 5d ago

"Oh, but you are so beautiful. Such a lovely smile. Your teeth... your teeth! No! Aggghh!!"

5

u/SilverPhilosopher46 5d ago

And if i see medieval devices in the basement i become really happy and get ready for her to tie me up or something.

5

u/DigitalHoweitat 5d ago

This is either going to be really good or really bad.

→ More replies (42)

741

u/ZerpMeizter 5d ago

Unreal Engine 5 Lara Croft hits different.

64

u/Nerfarean 4d ago

What GPUs are really meant for

1.7k

u/LimpyDan 5d ago

If she does it, then yeah. I gave her an ocular patdown. She's safe.

173

u/Galnar218 5d ago

I don't know, it sounded like she spoke from experience. God knows how many poisoned men are in that basement.

49

u/digost 5d ago

I don't think she would keep them in the basement. She's hiking, you know...

→ More replies (6)

2

u/rwa2 5d ago

She should be careful, I immediately got banned from r/TwoXChromosomes for speaking like that.

2

u/Defiant-Youth-4193 4d ago

So a basement and friends. Not seeing the downside.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

91

u/Hobbes_XXV 5d ago

9

u/BeatsbyChrisBrown 5d ago

But these men aren’t in danger?

→ More replies (2)

1

u/Wild-Regular1703 4d ago

...how do you see yourself within the context of this sub?

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (6)

2.0k

u/Ok-Traffic-9967 5d ago

380

u/Screwbles 5d ago

11

u/Akyurius 5d ago

I wouldn't put my phone in this position bro 😭. Quickest way to nerf your sperms!

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (8)

7

u/Erdinger_Dunkel 4d ago

I died laughing at this. I'm dead now. I'm basically using a ouija board to type this. I'm gone.

4

u/tragicallyohio 4d ago

My first time seeing this one. Huge fan.

0

u/[deleted] 5d ago

8

u/dblrb 4d ago

Wasn't this a dragon or something in the end?

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (15)

407

u/SunnyApex87 5d ago

This is an OF ad isn't it?

366

u/patchyj 5d ago edited 22h ago

Yep. Piper Presley

Edit: Guys, enough with the awards. Knowing a porn star is not award worthy you degenerates

Edit 2: y'all have lost your goddamn gooning brains

Edit 3: 43 awards for knowing a porn star...i hate this place.

126

u/RunPsychological9891 4d ago

had to scroll way too deep.

→ More replies (1)

6

u/TM761152 4d ago

Well color me chocked. Bok bok boc

→ More replies (4)

98

u/moisturized69tatas 5d ago

Its the nips that gave it away for me.

47

u/NegativeHerons 5d ago

Were there nips? I was focused heavily on the subtitles.

→ More replies (8)
→ More replies (1)

24

u/Reggie-Quest 5d ago

Not a good ad if I'm already finished

→ More replies (5)

17

u/milkymonkey8 5d ago

Most everything will soon be an AI OF ad, even the Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Welcome to the Sixth Element.

→ More replies (5)

31

u/Tropicalfisher 5d ago

Wait girls don't hike alone in full makeup?

→ More replies (8)

0

u/[deleted] 5d ago

14

u/Gudthrak 5d ago

So my best friend for about 20 years before we split ways would have more makeup than her when we went hiking.

She was horrible at hiking and complaining a lot, but she did hike like this.

So I'm not saying you're not right, just that people like this exist.

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (22)

850

u/st0350 5d ago

what'd she say?

166

u/bigdaddyt2 5d ago

Don’t know but she had a couple good points

→ More replies (1)

85

u/dingoman24 5d ago

4

u/dontconfusemeforabot 5d ago

A boobman? Normal man? Mammaries loving man?

→ More replies (2)

22

u/ProfessionalLemon946 5d ago

Tell your headlights to stop looking at me

14

u/Dre_A35 5d ago

She said something?

8

u/GraXXoR 5d ago

She was talking? I had the sound turned down.
Still watch to the end. She made a couple of good points.

3

u/PrinceOfLeon 5d ago

How'd you miss the captions?

They were... right there!

→ More replies (1)

3

u/Legitimate_Ice_3460 4d ago

I’m not sure. I think it was something about her kidnapping a guy, keeping him in an empty basement, and feeding him whatever she wants. I had to watch the video with my eyes closed just to get through it.

4

u/TiltusMaximus420 5d ago

Idk something about milk

→ More replies (12)

671

u/NukaClipse 5d ago

I learned very early in life never to trust a warm smile, a kind personality and friendly demeanors when I first meet people. I don't care how hot you are or how high your high beams are, I will never again go into a dark room to be gassed, wake up with car batteries attached to my nipples and forced to give up Mom's secret chicken scampi recipe.

100

u/Ok-Plum2187 5d ago

I hate having to give up my mom's scampi recipes in a concrete windowless basement room with jumper cables on my nipples attached to a car battery when they didn't apply enough lubricant on my nipples.

21

u/One-Engineer-607 5d ago

Ok, clearly there's a fetish somewhere in that line. Now, what ingredients is there in that recipe?

→ More replies (9)

3

u/anti_vist 5d ago

I thought i was the only one in the world who had to give up my mom’s scampi recipes!!! BROTHERS, WHERE WERE YOUUUU

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (9)

62

u/fryerandice 5d ago

Let's talk about that scampi tho

→ More replies (10)

6

u/MrBones-Necromancer 5d ago

Hey, sorry about that again dude. I was in a weird place at the time. Come over so I can make you an apology lunch? I can make a killer scampi.

4

u/AquaPhelps 5d ago

Is the secret fresh garlic? Im bettin it is. Lets find out ⚡️⚡️

2

u/The-King-of-Cartoons 5d ago

Please, we NEED mom’s scampi recipe. I know you don’t want your nipples blasted again.

2

u/TimeRevolutionary735 5d ago

Speak for yourself

2

u/PM_UR_Sexy_boots 5d ago

Car batteries don't have enough voltage to do anything to your nipple's

3

u/Eldias 4d ago

I will, unfortunately, never forget the time a guy hooked up a bench top power supply to his balls because he got annoyed about this trope.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (39)

191

u/Posidon_Below 5d ago

3

u/Tropicalfisher 5d ago

They fake

4

u/IndependentPede 5d ago

Did this person create an account, do this one comment, then delete the account? wth

→ More replies (9)

1

u/Affectionate-Guru 4d ago

Stealing.. Sorry. 🤣

128

u/bucketboy9000 5d ago

4

u/TremTheCount 4d ago

Dude we just started watching that movie in school!

4

u/bucketboy9000 4d ago

It’s a good movie. Very wintery

538

u/WhyWhowants2No 5d ago

She just said she could lure you all into her basement and get u to drink something without telling u what it is. And the comments prove she is right😂 She left out the part where u wake up chained to a pipe😂

357

u/Pr_fSm__th 4d ago

All I read here is that you need to work on both your poison resistance and your “flex and bust out of here” abilities. That’s a skill issue on your part

138

u/Lysol3435 4d ago

You want to microdose some sleepy drugs and hit up an escape room this weekend?

→ More replies (57)
→ More replies (37)

79

u/Arctic-You-Know 5d ago

Don’t threaten me with a good time.

→ More replies (3)

201

u/F_Juan_50 4d ago

38

u/Generic-Cheese 4d ago

The spirit is willing! But the flesh is spongy and bruised

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (5)

20

u/therealstubot 5d ago

Eh, my life is pretty boring these days. I could use some survival inspiration.

→ More replies (2)

13

u/James_C99 4d ago

She left out the part where u wake up chained to a pipe

→ More replies (1)

88

u/Doubleknot22 5d ago

The fact that she has to spell that part out for a lot of guys here is one of the three points she made in this video.

28

u/comfortablynumb15 5d ago

Yep.

I asked the wife “And ?”

She said “and why wouldn’t a woman do those things ?”
before I clicked OP might be a serial killer.

→ More replies (7)

102

u/withnodrawal 4d ago

And the third point was having those nipples hard for the vid

→ More replies (29)
→ More replies (23)
→ More replies (373)

320

u/MeeHungLo 5d ago

Last time I trusted a woman like this she locked me into the basement.  She had windows there so I opened them and crawled out.  I went to the home and she did her "oh no intruder" routine on me.  Luckily I recorded the whole incident when she locked me into her basement to assess her water damage and her mocking me for being trapped. She ended up with a kidnapping charge.  

83

u/Relevant_Bed_9743 5d ago

wtf dude are you ok why did she lock you in there

67

u/gearabuser 5d ago

she was clearly going to eat him

→ More replies (8)
→ More replies (3)

76

u/OutrageousThought646 5d ago

There needs to be more to this story. What set your guard up to record the whole interaction?

95

u/ElliotNess 5d ago

Probably the being locked in the basement part

→ More replies (4)

27

u/MeeHungLo 4d ago

She was an acquaintance that was newly divorced and paid me to do handy work around her home. I had a gut feeling why she was divorced. I was being neighborly and just trying to help her out. The text she sent me got more and more weird over time. First it was small stuff like how do I set the time on the microwave and oven. Then after many months it grew into weird shit like how long does an animal take to decompose, like a large animal. I was like what why the fuck is that even a question. After we got into the weird question phase I'd wear my phone on my chest recording my visit to help her out. I have quite of few hours of her talking about weird conspiracy theories. The last time I helped her out she tried to trap me in the basement to confess I've been reading her mind She was clearly mentally ill or on drugs and I was just trying to be helpful. I'm just glad I didn't end up like the "large animals"

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (1)

56

u/ViruliferousBadger 5d ago

Dude, you can't just stop there...

→ More replies (1)

14

u/Beneficial_Winner_59 5d ago

Please expand on this story lol

→ More replies (1)

14

u/Professional_Being22 5d ago

dude I was about to go to bed but I need to know more. what the fuck

→ More replies (7)

29

u/Well_Spoken_Mute 5d ago

The only woman's basement I've been locked in, I locked myself in and it was my mother's basement

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (48)

223

u/CantModerateMe 5d ago

That cold mountain air makes people philosophical

0

u/[deleted] 5d ago

11

u/FromDathomir 5d ago

I don't give a good nipple what she thinks.

→ More replies (1)

120

u/StableLower9876 5d ago

Must be cold up there

262

u/soelsome 5d ago

We have to get rid of her. She's figured us out. She's too powerful. She cannot be kept alive.

145

u/KidChiko 5d ago

You guys go ahead I'll hold her off and buy you at least 2 minutes.

9

u/ima_twee 5d ago

Recorded this moment because.... Nice.

14

u/fucxl 5d ago

2 minutes you say?

→ More replies (1)

4

u/Justacityboy12 5d ago

Bruh, this ain't a marathon!

20

u/hoople217 5d ago

It's weird that it took her so long to figure us out though, right? 🤔

→ More replies (1)

15

u/Rhymesnlines 5d ago

She's too powerful to be left alive!

→ More replies (1)

12

u/Anon_Jones 5d ago

All a girl has to do is be nice to me. Would you please help me dig a hole for this body? Well sure I will.

21

u/Arammil1784 5d ago

You're at least going to check out her basement first, right?

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (5)

93

u/Ordinary-Chair-3734 5d ago

What is she saying it is hard to concentrate.

10

u/not_your_attorney 5d ago

Don’t ask questions. She said so.

→ More replies (1)

10

u/Telemere125 5d ago

She has at point at least. Two of them

3

u/Agreeable_Sea_6019 5d ago

Very good points

→ More replies (1)

5

u/SimonNicols 5d ago

I had to watch it several times to get the point

2

u/Ordinary-Chair-3734 5d ago

How long is that video it isn't ending she must be walking for miles

→ More replies (1)

2

u/vanhst 5d ago

I agree with you fellow gentlemen

2

u/HairyMerkin69 5d ago

I think she was saying something about how cold it was.

1

u/Hot-Explanation-5751 5d ago

Subtitles are blocking the mammaries

1

u/TwistedKiwi 5d ago

Wait, that's not a gif?

1

u/captbollocks 3d ago

I like the placement of the subtitles - it helped to follow the conversation but it's still quite hard...

22

u/jalapenorupe 4d ago

Nice brisk autumn walk I see there...

→ More replies (1)

136

u/Brilliant_Fox_7170 5d ago

What is the point of this?

487

u/Rough-Airline-4803 5d ago

Her nipples. The point is her nipples. I’m almost certain

Can’t you see them pointing?

→ More replies (65)

61

u/Reasonable-Dingo533 5d ago

Considering she looks like a fembot, probably just instructing the other androids how to quietly dispose of you.

→ More replies (14)
→ More replies (136)

36

u/En_To_Tre 5d ago

I just had a wank so im immune to this for atleast 5 minutes

→ More replies (3)

62

u/Informal-Picture-909 5d ago

No fr. Women don't know how easy it is to kidnap us 😂

49

u/TheDrDojo 5d ago

When I worked as a delivery driver, I had a lady ask me if I wanted to see her puppies. I, without hesitation, went fully into her house to meet those puppies and would make the same choice to this day.

→ More replies (24)
→ More replies (16)

115

u/[deleted] 5d ago

58

u/The_Orphanizer 5d ago

(I hate that I'm about to do this, but) In her defense, I've seen more than one original comedic vids from her that actually made me chuckle.

No denying though, it is ultimately to funnel people to the OF.

→ More replies (10)
→ More replies (12)