r/SingleDads • u/Remote-Control-2006 • 3d ago

Second Child

Has anyone had the experience of having another child with a different person and having it be a completely different experience? I was thinking about it and although I’m not even dating or trying to, I was wondering if anyone else has experienced everything that goes along with being pushed out of your child’s life, court, all the dramatics that come with this horrible situation but then met someone and had a child and were able to be the dad and husband that you weren’t given the chance to be before? Like having a child with someone who actually wanted to be a family.

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u/Significant_Paint_95 12h ago

Yeah, I did, and as soon as we had another kid that's when that relationship went to s***. After everything that happened with the first kid's mom and then fighting and then subsequently getting custody I thought I would take a few years make sure I knew the person better. So 5 years into the relationship we had another kid, fast forward 5 years later and we're separated she lives with her mother and my daughter lives with me so it can work but it doesn't mean it's going to. Never thought I'd be on my second tour of single fatherhood

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u/Remote-Control-2006 3d ago

Haha, well that is certainly interesting, I’m in the opposite category where I went into it thinking I’d have the wife, house, fence, baby but got served with court papers at three months instead so I’m thinking that maybe if I’m lucky enough to meet the right person things could be different… maybe..

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u/Plastic-Bee4052 3d ago

Well, sorta. This time I set out to be a single dad by choice and made it clear I was not up for cohabitating or coparenting but when I hit an infertility wall my lovely bf who was ok with me wantig another child (I have a teen) and saw his brother struggle with infertility for a long time offered to be my donor and though we're still very happily Living Apart Together (LAT), I am super happy now because I have my teen, my newborn that's drama free and will never result in a divorce or a custody war and a boyfriend that makes me happy. 

I get to play house with him once or twice a week while maintaining my autonomy and being the one to decide what colour to paint my walls. So I think this is the setup thag was meant to be for me because I am the happiest I've ever been. 

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u/Elliot0fHull 3d ago

Your bf was your donor what?