Hi all,
I'm a final-year medical student in Europe and I've been yo-yoing about my specialty for weeks. My judgment feels clouded: I'm fairly sure I have ADHD, I'm burnt out, and I'm about to start SSRIs, mainly for anxiety.
I was/am torn between certain specialities:
\-Ophthalmology: the only specialty where I genuinely find the anatomy, pathophysiology and the physics/optics interesting. I've always loved the eye. But I'm unsure about surgery, and about whether I have the energy for a tough residency (late finishes, lots of studying, steep learning curve). People call it easy, but it isn't.
\-Occupational medicine (médecin du travail): I haven't done a placement yet, but the residency and lifestyle seem much better suited to me.
\-PM&R: I spent one day with a doctor who didn't seem passionate, and it put me off.
\-Dentistry: I've even thought about finishing this year and then doing 5 years of dentistry.
What I want: a 9-to-5 but also feel passionate about what I do, and feel like I'm making differences in people's lives (ophthalmology does certainly provide that) and some relaxation, at least for now.
I genuinely love people, talking to them and I find I truly do have a strong capacity to make a patient feel heard and reassured which is already part of the healing process in my options ... I'm a type B person, not a gunner. I've already struggled too much in med school as a last minute studier/heavy procrastinator, I'm not passionate about much else in medicine, and I don't want the responsibility of vast medical knowledge. At 26, I want to get on with life instead of staying in the rat race.
My questions are:
\-is my hesitation about ophthalmology just burnout, or should I genuinely avoid this specialty...Is my personality (type B) just not made for Opthalmology ? I genuinely don't care about making tons of money, I want to be passionate and fulfilled with my job whilst feeling like I'm making genuine differences in people's lives, all whilst the job not being my entire life (I want a family, to reconnect with friends to live)...
Can I realistically handle a demanding residency for several years while burnt out, has anyone managed?
Does attending life get much better, and is it worth it? Or will I be surrounded by type A people forever?
Would love to hear from anyone who's been through something similar.
In that case should I just go for the safer, more 'boring' option which is occupational health medicine, which is stable, 9-5 even in residency, no calls etc.
Thank you guys for your suggestions and time,
Have a nice day!