“Dear Grace, Without a secretary, I write my own letters, and I write without malice. I learnt long ago to hate my enemies. But I’ve never loved one before. The idea of New York is interesting, but I have worked so hard for this day, for this victory. I have responsibilities here. People I need to protect and people who I love. Before the war, when I had an important decision to make, I used to flip a coin. Perhaps that is what I will do again. Polly tells me you fell in love for real, and Polly is never wrong about matters of the heart. I will give you my decision within three days. All my love. Thomas Shelby.”
Here, they’re showing you that, at first, Tommy really did do everything for his family. He gave up love and his own happiness for their sake. But he also tossed the coin, he was prepared to leave everything behind for Grace. He was torn in two: he loved Grace, but he also loved his family.