r/Parenting • u/fullnessofjoy2021 Mom of 2 • 7h ago
Humour Parental Injuries
I knew labor and delivery would hurt, as well as the early stages of breastfeeding. I was not prepared for the ongoing injuries and pain inflicted by my sweet children. Baby heads thrown backwards so fast into my jaw. Toddlers and kids with elbows made of daggers that poke you in the most sensitive parts of your body. Kids "tickling" you which feels more like someone scratching at your neck and throat.
This past week my lip bled because my 1 year old was shaking a book around and it caught my lip and cut it.
Anyone else with any recent injuries from their sweet little babes?
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u/Prudent_Honeydew_ 6h ago
Oh man not recent but a couple years ago my daughter came up right into my nose so hard I actually saw stars like an old timey cartoon.
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u/airplane_wanderlust 6h ago
When my daughter was 2 she scratched my cornea. 0/10 do not recommend.
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u/dixpourcentmerci 3h ago
My son also did this around age 1. I had to miss a day of work to go to the optometrist! She was like “yep he got you.”
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u/justforbbstuff 3h ago
This thread is unlocking new fears
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u/empressbunny 2h ago
With all those eye injuries suddenly prying off those tiny hands from my glasses isn’t such a big deal anymore !
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u/mamawithQandAs 6h ago
Not only the pain they directly cause, but also my own body's aches and pains from them being heavy and having to carry/lift them all the time. I randomly get wrist and hand pain. It goes away slowly but surely when I be sure to pick them up correctly and not as much. And moreso when they are under 6 months old, idk if it's from being weak in the torso and back after pregnancy or what, but if I didn't keep my back perfectly straight when lifting them, I'd be in some pain I thought I wouldn't experience until my 50s tbh 😂 it's crazy!
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u/empressbunny 2h ago
Yikes. This is my husband. All those years of core training and karate really paid off for me. I carried my almost 2 year old and lifted her up from the floor 2 days postpartum because everybody was asleep 🫣. Kiddo fell asleep on me, baby was in the bassinet and dad was asleep too. I thought carrying and putting her in the crib would be the best option and luckily I can do it.
When my goddaughter was 4 I got chewed out for carrying her long distances. Apparently that’s what she wanted a lot and her parents couldn’t lift her anymore. After a weekend with me she’d start begging for carries. She’s going to turn 14 soon and I can still carry her. 😂. But preferably not as long.
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u/ScoutTheOcelot 6h ago
My tiny (26-lb) 3 year old jumped on me while I was lying on the floor, and my ribs were bruised for 4 weeks.
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u/No-Coyote914 6h ago
I couldn't believe how sharp newborn fingernails are! It was like being clawed by a cat.
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u/empressbunny 2h ago
No injuries on me yet. But dad got it bad. I asked him if he didn’t take enough time to shave. Nope. Eldest apparently had sharp nails and managed to scratch him in the face 4 times while playing. Oops. He doesn’t like nail clipping the kids due to clipping a piece of thumb on eldest as a baby that bled quite a bit. I feel like I’m nail clipping every other day. Kiddo inherited moms fast growing nails.
Youngest nailed me in the face several times while breast feeding but no lasting injuries. For some reason the hand / arm waving is an invitation to get more milk.
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u/Logical_Bite3221 1h ago
If I had a dime for every time I was kicked in the face I would have the biggest mansion ever built plus three yachts.
No one prepared me for that. I nearly broke my nose a dozen times in the first 4 years of my kids life. Most were accidents but holy shit I have so much ptsd from small children’s feet 🤣
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u/grasshopper_jo 6h ago
My 3 year old kicked me in the face while playing - it ripped open the incision from my Lasik at the bottom of my iris. Ever since then, 7 years later, I just have to be careful when I wake up not to open my eyes too fast or it rips open again
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u/TheEesie 5h ago
My eldest head butted me in the clitoris and I almost died.
He was about 15 months old at the time and really into “helping” me with projects around the house. I was standing on a step stool to put something away on a tall shelf and he climbed between my legs up onto the stool and then stood up.
The top of his head hit me in a very sensitive place and I just froze. I still had the heavy, breakable vase in my hands and my sweet, fragile and small child was still on the stool with me. There was nothing I could do but stand perfectly still while my vision went white for a couple seconds.
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u/momhair_dontcare 4h ago
Nothing will ever beat the 4th degree tear my daughter inflicted upon her arrival. Felt like my crotch got hit by a truck for a week or two. Heads and elbows got nothin on that (except her head that one time) 🤣
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u/Icy-Contact6577 6h ago
11 month old threw a pot lid at me (had just taught her to throw a ball) it hit my toe and split the nail in half. Wonderful day