r/OnlineDating • • 16h ago

Liking an old camp counselor?

1 Upvotes

I (27M) saw my old counselor from summer camp on hinge and am tempted to like her despite the seven year age gap. I'm almost certain that she remembers me, so I'm not sure how to approach it. Regardless, I'm worried about perception because we have a lot of acquaintances in common. In a prior life, I would've downed a couple of beers and just done it. Any advice on how to proceed?


r/OnlineDating • • 19h ago

How do i know if someone is flirting romantically or platonicly.

3 Upvotes

Im a gay man and met this guy online. He started flirting after we talked for awhile and a day later he sent a message telling me he was flirting. My doubt about whether its romantic comes from him saying that he's really friendly with people. I mean he compliments me and the last time we hung out he said he really enjoyed spending the day talking and playing games with me. Any advice would be helpful because im not good at picking up signs and dont wanna say anything and mess up a friendship.


r/OnlineDating • • 23h ago

Would you send a second message if they'd not read the first one? Months ago?

16 Upvotes

Even typing this I realise how pathetic it sounds. So I matched with someone months ago. They actually had looked at my profile and not liked it (fair enough!!!) but I decided to still shoot a shot and liked them. To my surprise they actually then matched. So I sent the initial message, and ... silence of a thousand crypts.

The message never got opened or read and just now I was clearing out my inbox and thought "....shall I? Does that look desperate? (Yes) but I do still like them and their bio is fascinating (yes)."

I don't want to bother or harass anyone but if there's a chance they didn't even see or realise the message had landed... idk.

Thanks!


r/OnlineDating • • 1d ago

Deleting and remaking Hinge account now that Fresh start is gone?

6 Upvotes

So I’ve had a bit of a dry spell on Hinge and want to start from a clean state. I’ve never used the Fresh start feature when it was still a thing but apparently now it’s gone. Is the only way to truly have a “fresh start” to delete and remake profile after 90 days?


r/OnlineDating • • 1d ago

Other Dating sites to try? I (45M) Been on the following for 4 years and nothing.

9 Upvotes

I have been on the following: Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, Match, OKCupid, HotorNot, ChristianCafe, eHarmony, Altscene, Christian Mingle, Mingle2, CDFF, Freedating, for 4 years now and so far not one date or even a conversation online.

I've had about 10 matches over them all and almost all of them have been scams or no one replies.

I am a photographer so put reasonable quality photos of myself up and it didn't help.

Is there any other sites I could try that don't cost the earth where I have a better chance of at least speaking to a woman?

EDIT: To those saying my profile is the issue it might be but then I have a friend who is only on Tinder and his profile is pretty much blank, only his photos and he gets multiple matches and has had dates of at least 5 girls on Tinder in the last couple of years. There must be a site/app that is a better match for me.


r/OnlineDating • • 1d ago

Why is it hard to match for WLW?

5 Upvotes

I’m new to the dating scene (never had time nor money) and have downloaded a couple to try and see if I can meet someone. However I realized quickly that I’m not getting a lot of traction and I don’t know why?

I’m using Tinder, Hinge, and was on Her and I would start my profile I would get a CRAP ton of likes (I’m no model by any means, but I would have 10+ likes/interactions every couple of hours from men). But the second I would filter to only women/set bio to lesbian and indicate that I’m only interested in women, I would get ZERO traction. And if I did it was either 1) a man pretending to be a woman, which I’ve had happen twice. 2) or someone wildly out of my filtered presences, but the apps would just ignore my filters and show me these profiles anyway? What gives? Is there a better app I need to be using for lesbian relationships or something else? I’m not paying for a dating app I think that’s beyond dumb but isn’t the whole point of these apps is to help you match with other people of similar interests?


r/OnlineDating • • 2d ago

First Date Weirdness

0 Upvotes

Edit: Wow. Thank you for all of the responses. I never thought about ghosting because it was just a first date after some very basic chatting. I thought ghosting was when you were actively talking/engaging and then the other person disappeared. I really appreciate the perspective - this is super useful going forward.

I'm in my late 40's and have recently dipped my toe into the world of online dating. I'm divorced and have no children. I went on my first in-person date with a guy on Friday. It was fine, not wow. But I was so proud of myself for getting myself out there a year post-divorce. I woke up to a text thanking me for the date but telling me there wasn't a romantic spark. Huh? I totally agree, but I didn't contact him after the date. I just assumed that we would both just stop communicating because it was pretty clear it wasn't a match. Again, perfectly fine just not a connection. Is this the norm for online dating? To message the person to make it super clear you aren't interested? I've been out of the dating game for awhile, but I seem to remember just letting things be. And I guess it just feels a little like a sting of I want to make sure you know I'm not interested instead of waiting to see if I actually messaged him after the date. Just left me with a weird feeling.


r/OnlineDating • • 2d ago

Why do guys asking for a picture of you if you offer to video chat?

2 Upvotes

I understand that people do not want to be catfish, but I don’t understand why a guy will ask for photos of you when you offer to video chat and have video chatted with them prior to the date. A guy got upset that I sent him a photo that I posted on Instagram. Someone explained this to me.


r/OnlineDating • • 2d ago

30F considering expanding my dating age range to include 26-year-old men. Thoughts?

0 Upvotes

I’m a 29F almost 30 in a couple months. Currently dating and haven’t had the greatest luck, especially with dating apps. Because of this, I’ve been thinking about expanding my age range a bit.
Right now, my age range is set to 27–37, but I’m considering lowering it to 26. I primarily date men, and I’m a little hesitant about the age gap and whether dating someone four years younger would be a good idea.
I’m curious what others think. Is it worth expanding my age range to include 26-year-olds, or should I stick with my current range? Would love to hear about other people’s experiences with dating younger men.


r/OnlineDating • • 2d ago

Unknowingly matched with former student

9 Upvotes

I am a PhD student who uses hinge and matched with girl who I thought was cute and appeared to be in the same academic field as me. I come to find out that she was in one of the courses I was a teaching assistant for, the previous semester. We are only one year in age apart and the course concluded before we matched and I did not even remember her, although she remembered me.

Do I go on a date with her or avoid flat out?


r/OnlineDating • • 3d ago

I’ve had attraction grow with friends turned to lovers, but never when it comes to OLD (yet?)

0 Upvotes

Attraction has always been a bit of a mystery to me. Sorta labeled myself as a demisexual back in the day because I was never initially attracted, and only ended up dating people who I got to know in real life with no romantic expectations set from the get-go.

I’ve probably been on 10 dates with guys from the apps in total. Only experienced initial attraction ONCE, and we ended up dating for a few months (but he was ultimately emotionally unavailable). It was that giddy, excited feeling from the start. The one and only ”absolute yes” to a 2nd date. I haven’t experienced attraction with the others, even if I went on 3 dates with them — so they never turned into relationships.

Now, I just went on a first date with someone yesterday. This guy seems very sweet, fun and emotionally available. Actually curious about me and wants to get to know me, which is important to me. I’m not experiencing any icks like I have with some dates in the past. But no initial attraction and I’m a little on the fence. He kinda looks like his pictures, but then again not fully how I had imagined. This has happened to me previously too, and I feel it gives me some whiplash. Anyway, do you believe attraction can grow after a few dates? Or can it be about my expectations not fully aligning with reality?


r/OnlineDating • • 5d ago

How do you come up with a good opener?

3 Upvotes

I'm a guy, I always try to mention something on the profile, but it's very difficult for me to come up with something beyond a yes/no question that probably has been asked a million times without looking I'm trying too hard. I see some guys still get responses even with just a "hey," but I'm probably not "good enough" to do that.

My best friend has lots of matches from apps and his main line is, "So what brings you to [app]?" Another friend got matches hitting everyone with, "what's ur favorite dinosaur?" I can spend half an hour crafting a message to send and never hear back again.

Also I should add this is only applicable for apps that let you message with your like. So like FB Dating and Hinge mainly. On the few occasions I've gotten matches before, I can keep a conversation going, but the enthusiasm/dryness of the other person varies.

Am I being too nonchalant? Am I supposed to be starting out with flirting or something? I feel like you should probably break the ice a little before you do that.


r/OnlineDating • • 5d ago

Did Tinder get much worse or did I age out of it?

84 Upvotes

Recently single guy and went back on the apps. Last time I used them I was late 20s to early 30s, and I got about 40% of my dates from Tinder, 60% from Hinge. Met a long term girlfriend on Tinder

Now I’m in my mid 30s and Tinder is just not working at all - I am getting very few matches that I’m truly interested in, and none of them have gone past a couple of messages back and forth. Hinge seems as good as it was before or even better, I’ve been getting a date or two from it per week.

Did Tinder go downhill lately, or is it that women my age don’t use it?


r/OnlineDating • • 6d ago

Should I reach out after things ended over distance if we never discussed meeting halfway?

0 Upvotes

I was seeing a guy for a few months. We went on proper dates like activity plus dinner.

Between the 2nd and 3rd date, he became distant. I told him things weren’t progressing how I’d hoped and he said same. We initially said goodbye but I asked whether he was still curious about getting to know each other. He said yes provided we kept things lighthearted and lowered our expectations.

We continued seeing each other. Our last date felt wonderful. I planned it and we both enjoyed our activities and our dinner and he stayed overnight. After he became more distant.

When I asked, he said he had been holding back because he realistically didn’t think the distance would work. He asked what I thought. I said I believed it could work but he seemed already pulling away so asked whether his decision was final. He said he didn’t think it was right to continue with a strong possibility of wasting each other’s time.

We said goodbye and I left the door open if circumstances changed.

For weeks, I wanted to message him. The one thing I keep wondering about is that we never discussed me travelling to him or meeting halfway. He always came to my town tho he never invited me to his.


r/OnlineDating • • 6d ago

Several years of no matches/fake matches across every dating app I’ve tried

47 Upvotes

Is there something I’m missing as to what this means? I’ve also paid for “premium” (unlimited likes) I’ve done swipe surges in the middle of nyc on friday and Saturday nights with nothing. Any information would be helpful 🙏


r/OnlineDating • • 7d ago

Suppossed to have a date, but she flaked....

29 Upvotes

Its disappointing... she agreed to meetup. I waited... no text no nothing... and then she texted me she forgot or some BS.

I am a man, and doing 100s if not 1000s of swipes and finally have an agreed upon date. She told me she's not ready to meet yet.

I dont have options as a man, so I will be reaching out to here again after 2 weeks. Via Snapchat, what should I say and how should I say it?


r/OnlineDating • • 7d ago

What dating app premium is most worth it?

11 Upvotes

25M in the US for reference.

I'm inclined to believe Hinge but I've used it before and while I never got many likes among other apps to begin with, I've ever only received one like on Hinge, and never matched with anyone I sent likes to. And well, even if premium gives me a boost, 0 x anything = 0. But also isn't Hinge one of the most expensive ones?

I've already done a profile review on related subs before. Was told mine is actually decent. I upgraded some photos and did some rearranging. Based on feedback I was told I was a 7 but could stand to lose a little weight. I'm not fat at all, I just have a bit of a gut (which tbh isn't even noticeable in my pics) I'm working to get rid of and maybe a small amount in my face.

Right now the only dating app I use is Facebook Dating since it's totally free, but it feels like every profile on there is dead/inactive. Had it for 2 weeks now and have gotten 1 like, no matches. I'm currently waiting until maybe mid December to remake any other profiles because of the whole wait 3 months rule so your data is removed.


r/OnlineDating • • 8d ago

How much do u talk to ur partner daily? And is it normal to like talk less than a hour some day?

9 Upvotes

Hi

First time online dating but, im just way to anxious, idk because any simple thing i take it as disinterest a sign that he doesnt like much and bored of the online contact.

So there are some days where we talk less than a hour or just do check ins like how waa their day and stuff. And sometimes we talk for hrs.

The chemistry isnt so strong tho, but still.

Can anyone tell? Is it normal and also do u get bored of ur partner like be honest? Is it normal?


r/OnlineDating • • 8d ago

Need female opinion M17

0 Upvotes

I m 18 and currently in 12th grade and due to some reasons i joined online gc and found a beautiful girl named x
She is 17 and she lives in a different state than me
i kinda like her and find her attractive and i wanna be in a relationship with her but I don’t think she would be in online relationship
She is a good English speaker and is in 11th grade from some days she is kinda replying me dry and i feel like losing my connection with her but i like her and I don’t want her to stop talking with me and yesterday she send me a voice note and her voice is sweet ❤️
She has no past or had any relationship and thats the thing i like most about her
I wanted to tell her i like her but I don’t know what she wants?
tl;dr i wanna be in a relationship with my online crush but I don’t know what she wants’


r/OnlineDating • • 8d ago

Guy (24M) was extremely interested during + after our first date but is a terrible texter. Am I overthinking?

7 Upvotes

I recently went on an amazing first date with a guy who was very affectionate, kept saying he didn’t want the date to end, and expressed a lot of interest in me.
Immediately afterwards, he was equally enthusiastic over text, repeatedly saying how giddy he felt, how much he’d enjoyed the date, and that he wanted to see me again ASAP. However, he’s a terrible texter. He regularly takes 12–24 hours to respond, which makes me question his interest.
For context, he was like this before our date too. On Hinge, he’d sometimes take over two days to reply. Even after moving to Instagram, we’d occasionally text for hours until ungodly hours of the night, only for him to disappear for an entire day afterwards.
I guess I expected his texting to improve after such a good date, especially considering how interested he seemed. I don’t expect constant communication, but going almost an entire day without a response makes me anxious.
Can someone genuinely be very interested romantically but still take this long to reply? Am I overthinking this, or is it a sign of low interest? Do I bring this up or will I look too clingy?


r/OnlineDating • • 8d ago

Mondays on Dating Apps

15 Upvotes

I (48/M) turned FB and Hinge back on mid-week last week. I was hoping for a date or 2 over the weekend. I ended up talking to somebody and I am seeing her tonight. But in general, the matches and conversation were few and far between over the weekend.
Monday morning came and I'm getting more matches & messages than I can keep up with. People I "liked" on Friday and assumed they weren't interested, are now liking a messaging me. I know people do stuff over the weekend, I was busy for parts of it as well. But I also was around and open to talking & meeting up.
Curious why people are getting more active on the apps on Monday? Did their weekend dates disappoint and they are trying to find other options? Are they just bored at work and trying to kill time? Trying to lineup dates for the upcoming week /weekend?
Any other ideas you can think of?


r/OnlineDating • • 10d ago

Why is online dating in America so difficult?

120 Upvotes

I work overseas, for the past two years I've mostly been in several European countries and on 3 separate occasions took some weeks off to 3 separate south east Asian countries. Ive had id say some successful relationships with some of these women but every 3 months or so i have to relocate and unfortunately break things off. Im not an ldr kinda guy. My tinder profile had no issues for the most part anywhere i go, especially anywhere in asia.

When I came back to my home town recently it's like it stopped working all together. I know I'm not THAT ugly but damn I'm not good enough for ANY of these women? My home town is a city of over a quarter million people so it's not like there is a shortage of women to date in my area. I read all these posts and stuff about the daring culture being bad but it can't possibly be THIS bad. I didn't start using dating apps until I went over seAsia.


r/OnlineDating • • 10d ago

Is it a boundary violation to send a message or note on apps without being "liked" first?

0 Upvotes

On Tinder with platinum you can send some messages without matching first. On the one hand I'm thinking it's good from a selfish perspective because you wouldn't have ended up with the person anyway whereas with a message asking about them, there's a chance of it leading to something. But I don't know if it's considered a bit of a boundary violation, because it's not how the app usually works.​​

On Bumble there are notes. Similar thing.


r/OnlineDating • • 10d ago

Need advice : Should I make a move or step back ?

0 Upvotes

I met a guy through a dating app, and we live in the same neighbourhood and go to the same gym, so we see each other almost daily. We’re friendly and comfortable around each other.... Whenever he sees me he’ll come over to say hi, we have short conversations, and we’ve gone on walks together a few times and had some good conversations for hours.
However, we’ve never been on an official date or explicitly discussed romantic interest. I’ve started finding him physically attractive and would be open to something because I enjoy his company, although I am not sure about long-term compatibility.

The confusing part is that while he’s friendly and receptive when we interact, he rarely initiates plans to spend time together. I’ve initiated a few walks and given him openings, but I don’t know whether he sees me as a friend, is interested but passive, or simply enjoys the companionship without wanting anything more.

I also notice that the uncertainty makes me want his attention more, and I don’t want to get caught in that cycle.

Looking for honest perspectives on how to approach this without overreading his behaviour and still keeping the door open ?


r/OnlineDating • • 12d ago

Tinder: Horrible customer experience

11 Upvotes

On Tinder, I paid to be a Gold member. Recently, the app told me that I need to reverify my photos. I hadn't changed them. Ok, I do that. It then tells me:

Photo verification failed
To try again, upload profile photos that:
Clearly show your face (no sunglasses or face coverings).
Have only you in the image.

Everyone of my photos clearly shows my face. It is clear that I am meeting this requirements. So, I emailed support. I went back and forth a couple times sharing screenshots of exactly what I was seeing, including my profile photos. They eventually respond with:

Thank you for your response and we're sorry we couldn’t be of more help in this situation. Unfortunately, this is all the support we’re able to offer at this moment. We appreciate your time and understanding.

I try deleting my account and the app, and then setting it up again with all new photos. I still get the same error. Keep in mind, being verified is crucial to success.

I request a refund. They reply:

Refund requests can only be accepted within 14 days of the transaction date. Since your order was processed over 14 days ago, we're unable to issue a refund.

What do I do about this?