r/nottheonion • u/Efficient-Freedom517 • 45m ago

Montana Senatorial Candidate Refers to Native Americans as “Pets”

nativenewsonline.net

• Upvotes

61 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Popular_Dimension939 • 2h ago

Apple Removes Hand From South Korean iPad Mini Ad Over Gesture Some See as Mocking Men's Genital Size

techtimes.co.uk

586 Upvotes

180 comments

r/nottheonion • u/everythingistaken500 • 13h ago

It started with a joke about gold decor—now two presidents are fighting over the cheesecake factory

chron.com

3.4k Upvotes

298 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Skychu768 • 9h ago

'If not punished, mother cows will go extinct': Gujarat court sentences 3 to life imprisonment in cow slaughter case

deccanherald.com

1.7k Upvotes

294 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ddx-me • 17h ago

Brazil's Flávio Bolsonaro and family will get US visas after election loss, State Department says

apnews.com

4.2k Upvotes

498 comments

r/nottheonion • u/wds1 • 10h ago

Federal judge rules top US prosecutor in Los Angeles isn't legally serving

apnews.com

891 Upvotes

36 comments

r/nottheonion • u/mh06941 • 5h ago

One Nation colouring book intended for kids depicts Bluey being robbed

abc.net.au

333 Upvotes

15 comments

r/nottheonion • u/laybs1 • 1d ago

Ohio pastor reveals he’s had 2 wives for 3 years: Having only 1 wife is 'unbiblical'

christianpost.com

11.7k Upvotes

1.1k comments

r/nottheonion • u/Holiday_Document4592 • 10h ago

Lamar Odom becomes first NBA player to join Only Fans: "I've always been an open book"

basketballnetwork.net

529 Upvotes

47 comments

r/nottheonion • u/SnoozeDoggyDog • 15h ago

AP investigation: Documents support claim ICE has detained a mentally ill US citizen since January

apnews.com

1.1k Upvotes

18 comments

r/nottheonion • u/CzarDM • 20h ago

AI models describe humans as a bunch of amoral sheep

theregister.com

2.0k Upvotes

588 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ArgentineBeauty • 1d ago

AI safety expert stops saving for retirement because he believes AI could wipe out humanity within a decade

techspot.com

2.1k Upvotes

477 comments

r/nottheonion • u/No-Conclusion-6341 • 6h ago

Man wearing underwear on head attempted supermarket robbery before Brussels cocaine run

brusselstimes.com

67 Upvotes

8 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Street_Anon • 1d ago

Canadian 'tremendously sorry' after spending stolen crypto on Lamborghini, BMWs, jewelry

cbc.ca

2.4k Upvotes

171 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ManagerOfLove • 44m ago

A sandwich without mayo lands Spanish bar customer in prison

euroweeklynews.com

• Upvotes

7 comments

r/nottheonion • u/DaGreat49 • 1d ago

Lawmaker urges South Korea's president to play Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 4, citing North Korea threat

mbiz.heraldcorp.com

3.8k Upvotes

216 comments

r/nottheonion • u/miauguau44 • 15h ago

Raccoon causes thousands to lose power across Norfolk

wavy.com

142 Upvotes

11 comments

r/nottheonion • u/duckanroll • 21h ago

Putin orders search engines to prioritise ‘social support’ sites when users look up abortion

novayagazeta.eu

374 Upvotes

33 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Kokoro0000 • 1d ago

Is There a Reason There Are So Many Dan Sullivans in Alaska? An Investigation.

washingtonsun.com

670 Upvotes

90 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Training-World-1897 • 20h ago

Texas judge candidate accused of using AI blackface to court voters

chron.com

269 Upvotes

1 comment

r/nottheonion • u/the-player-of-games • 1d ago

Police Are Increasingly Pulling People Over Because AI Deems Their Driving Patterns “Suspicious”

aclu.org

3.3k Upvotes

257 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Training-World-1897 • 23h ago

Mao, memes and Mbappé: Chinese brands drop soccer star in fury over ‘dictator’ joke

nbcnews.com

403 Upvotes

36 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Puzzleheaded-King584 • 23h ago

Anthropic files for potentially the biggest IPO ever as CEO warns of risk to humanity from AI

apnews.com

395 Upvotes

77 comments

r/nottheonion • u/prestocoffee • 19h ago

Woman in banana costume goes viral for helping report crash at Orlando bar

clickorlando.com

131 Upvotes

10 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ArgentineBeauty • 1d ago

'Real Life Pennywise': Mum Calls Police After Her Children Fear Man Living in Sewer Near Their Maryland Home

fashiontimes.co.uk

783 Upvotes

27 comments

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1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
2. Submit only if “Oniony”.	Please consider submitting your article to /r/OffBeat or similar subreddits unless it truly reads like The Onion wrote it. The title and article itself must both be "Oniony". This can be highly subjective; you are encouraged to upvote articles that should be here and downvote those that should not. Moderators can also remove posts at their own discretion under this rule. More here
3. Must be a news article.	Submissions must be in the form of a news article. Videos are only allowed if they are accompanied by a complete text article. Editorials, blogs, twitter posts, image galleries, tabloid stories, youtube videos, meta posts, static images, articles with fewer than 5 sentences, and so forth will be removed.
4. Use original, reliable sources.	Find the source of your story before you submit it, simply by checking for references or googling the subject to locate the original piece. Websites that frequently re-host viral news stories or contain misleading information are on automatic removal. Blogs are not reliable sources.
5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
6. No satire articles.	Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
7. No tabloid journalism.	Do not post tabloid news stories, or articles that source from tabloid news outlets (TheSun, Mirror, Dailymail, People, TMZ, etc).
8. No old news.	Articles need to have been written within two weeks of its submission date.
9. English articles only.	Please do not post non-English articles. Do not use google translate for submission either; rather try to find an English version of the story by a secondary source.
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11. No blocked, redirected, or tracked links.	Please ensure you aren’t submitting a link that utilizes a paywall, survey wall, or pop-over of any kind in order read the complete article uninterrupted. Do not submit links that redirect you to another site to read the article and do not submit using link shorteners either. Additionally make sure you remove any Urchin Tracking Modules from your links as well.
12. No personal attacks, racism, sexism, or bigotry	Keep comments civil and avoid attacking other users directly. No racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.
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Click here to view a list of sites deemed unreliable by our moderator team.

See our FAQ page for more information on our rules.

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For more information, click here.