A couple of weeks ago I almost turned into a BBB. Inspired by our friend, the soccer player, let me tell you what tragedy befell my finger.
It was a beautiful fall day so I took my dog to the lake, just as I had done countless times before. After about 5 miles, he got the zoomies and started dashing about. The moron ran towards me but instead of changing direction at the last second, as he usually does and as any sane creature would, he just crashed into me.
I put up my hands in front of my knees to protect them. Even though my bones are strong and no giant could even grind them into bread, my cartilage is flawed and basically... gone. So I had to protect my knees. When I put my hands in front of me, my foolish dog crashed into them and popped my thumb back. The pain was outstanding. The sound with which my thumb bent back will remain forever pasted into the album of my memory.
Upset and defeated, I simply put my right hand in a makeshift sling since the throbbing pain was too much if it hung down, and I went home. The next day my thumb was bruised and swollen.
I suspected a fracture, I thought about how I would need to leave this sub. But, alas, I could not go into town for an x-ray since I could not drive with just one hand. Days passed, I learned to brush my teeth with my left hand. I discovered scissors don't work unless you use your right.
I was becoming desperate and wondering which neighbor to burden with my fragility, as I needed to be driven into town to receive an x-ray. Well, to my surprise, a few days after the incident my thumb felt better. The swelling was still visible but the improvement was unmistakable. And, indeed, about ten days in, my thumb was back to almost normal. I drove, I cooked, I used the scissors. All is well. But let me tell you, comrades, it was close. The shame I felt! I say! The shame! The shame of having been injured in such an absurd way!