Hi I'm a new member I just restart my journey after another relapse my emotions are complicated a mix

of shame and hope at the same time if anyone have a good advice please don't hesitate to share it

Finally, Day 2 just finished. I am feeling more motivated and active than the previous two days. Remember guys, the first week will always be HELL WEEK. It's where you will have difficulty controlling your mood, emotions, impulse, desire, and everything in between.

But we have to fight, it's just us against the darkness. If one of us falls, then we will all help that person get back up.

Every day, every hour, every minute, every second, we are FIGHTING. Our body and soul is getting stronger and stronger by the passing second, that animalistic dirty desire is constantly being broken more and more as we abstain from it. Let us keep going.

And as always, let's keep climbing, see y'all at the top! 🏔️

Assalamualaikum

I have developed desires that are not natural, especially not for a muslim. Fetishizing things I should not and becoming a slave to my desires instead of slave to Allah. Even when I stop I end up going back. How can one successfully leave these desires that are not good to have??

For context I am free for a lot of days but still thinking of those weird fetishes

Your sobriety routine shouldn’t start when the urge hits.

It should start when you wake up and continue until you go to sleep.

If you’re overcoming pornography or compulsive sexual behaviour, structure can help you stay proactive rather than relying on

Morning Routine:

1. Get up promptly
   

Don’t lie in bed scrolling or fantasising. Get up.

1. Start with purpose
   

Prayer, Qur’an, dhikr or quiet reflection.

1. Move your body
   

Walk, exercise or stretch.

1. Eat & hydrate
   

Look after the basics. Energy and fatigue matter.

1. Know your danger zones
   

Ask: “When am I most likely to struggle today?”

Have a plan before it happens.

EVENING ROUTINE

1. Review your day
   

What went well? What triggered you?

What can you change?

1. Reduce stimulation
   

Give your mind time to wind down.

1. Protect your bedroom
   

Don’t spend unnecessary time awake in bed if it’s associated with urges.

1. Prepare tomorrow
   

Know what you’re doing when you wake up.

1. Sleep on time
   A good sleep routine can be an important part of relapse prevention.
   

The Bigger Picture
Morning = BUILD
Day = PROTECT
Evening = RESET
Night = RECOVER
You don’t need a perfect routine.

You need a repeatable one.

What does your morning sobriety routine look like?

Feeling more energetic and stable, though I understand that this first week will be extremely difficult.

I want to indulge and channel my energy into something productive, like reading Quran and hitting the gym. My goal is to start that tomorrow and successfully complete it.

I have started my journey climbing up the mountain, and you all are climbing with me. When we reach the peak, then we have escaped from this.

Keep going guys, let's get after it.

​

Something I've been thinking about lately...

Why do we sometimes go back to porn even when we don't really want to watch it anymore?

Like, you know you don't enjoy it the way you used to, and part of you genuinely wants to stop, but somehow you still end up going back to it.

I find this really interesting. If you've experienced this, what do you think is the reason behind it?

Is it boredom, stress, habit, or do you think there's something else going on?

it’s happened 3 times so far in the past year or less. I (17) muslim, am really confused and disgusted with myself and when it happens i’ve memorised the dream by heart now and i know when the “exact thing” is going to happen but i can’t wake up before it in order to avoid it. I talked to my mom once about it and i don’t want to do that again cuz it’s pretty awkward talking about such topic with your daughter. i’ve stopped masterbait/ ing in the bathroom cuz i felt bad and unhygienic. i don’t know if i get the same dream every once in while cuz i get less religious or what? i want this to stop and don’t know what to do cuz i have to do the whole showering thing and the whole thing gets me uncomfortable. Please i need help i get uncomfy even when i think about it

Salaam everyone,

I’m posting this because I genuinely need some advice, especially from anyone who has struggled with something similar and managed to overcome it.
I feel like no matter what I try, my struggle with masturbation and pornography keeps getting worse. As a woman, I also feel really alone in this because I rarely hear other women openly talk about struggling with it.

I’ve struggled with masturbation since I was a teenager, and despite trying to stop countless times, I don’t think I’ve ever been able to go a full month without it. Pornography is more recent for me. I never used to watch it at all until around two years ago, when I slowly started. Over time, it has gotten progressively worse, and I’ve found myself watching increasingly extreme things that I know are negatively affecting my mind.

I’ve tried stopping both pornography and masturbation. When I’m busy, I can usually go longer without it, but once I give in to the urge, it feels like I lose sight of everything, what’s right and wrong, and how I know I’ll feel afterwards. Then I’m left with so much guilt and regret. And even worse, sometimes I simply don’t feel anything.

The hardest part is how much it affects my imaan. I end up feeling ashamed and dirty, and sometimes I genuinely feel like I’m a lost cause, even though I know I shouldn’t lose hope in Allah’s mercy.

If anyone have experienced something similar and were able to overcome it, or even significantly improve, I would really appreciate hearing what actually helped you. I genuinely want to change and would appreciate any advice, practical steps, or Islamic reminders that helped you.

Hi everyone, I, unfortunately, been addicted to porn for 2 decades, more than half my life, I’ve tried stopping many times but I keep relapsing, it ruined my life, ruined my career, my social life, but I keep fighting, the longest I ever stopped was 3 weeks then relapse.

I need an accountability partner, someone with good solutions, someone to give ke hope that I can turn my life around and save myself

Thanks in advance

I have tried so many times, but it's always heartbreak at the end. I end up giving in, it absolutely destroys me every time. I want to take accountability for myself, and I really need support. If you guys can like this post that will motivate me to keep going. I've been addicted for 7 years. I think it's time I drop this thing and get my life together. I will post every day, please motivate me guys to keep going. Thank you, let's get after it boys!

Asalamualaikum, I've been sober for almost four months now. I got my first job and took it seriously which really helped me, this is the longest I've been sober for after years of trying.

But in around two months I'm going to have two weeks off, which worries me because it will be much more difficult to stay firm without a job taking up a big chunk of my day. And because it will be right before the new year, I know Satan will make me think "you should relapse right now so that you can go into the next year fresh, without these desires", which on one hand might work but on the other hand is still a major sin regardless of its effectiveness.

Right now I'm planning on just mindlessly gaming the entire two weeks away, which has helped me with this in the past, but it might also backfire because I might stay up late and falter.

My main question is, what can I do in these two months to prepare for that time?

An elderly person in the community passed away today, and I attended the mosque for the janazah prayer. I wanted to share my reflections (to myself foremost).

1) death is a fact. It’s a given. And you will die in the same state you have lived. Made me think about how I was acting out last night and authobillah this morn, and yet that might have been my final moment. Everyone was viewing the face etc. and I just thought about my final moments, will it be in sin and torment? Or will it be peaceful? It’ll reflect on your face as your soul is removed from your body.

2) once the body was buried, and they count the steps away. And the person gets tested with the 3 questions in the grave …am I going to be able to answer it? It’s not about knowing it in this life, it’s about emulating & living it. Do I live in the way of the prophet pbuh? Do I truly believe and fear my Lord Allah swt? Every time I am relapsing alone in my bedroom. Do I truly have fear in my heart for displeasing Him 😭 or am I closing my eyes and ears and heart, forcing myself to go blind.

3) once you are all alone in the grave…It will be you and your deeds. Will it be a garden of paradise or a window of hell? Have I done enough repentance for the amount of disgusting sins I have accumulated?

May I never get over the fact that Allah swt saved a wretched sinner like me today.
Day 0.

Yesterday was rough on my self esteem, but I have recovered somewhat and hopeful for long term change. It will be difficult, it will require to understand the difference between my self and nafs, and how the nafs cannot be in charge

I've quit smoking for 3 weeks and now I want to tackle this filthy habit. It's hard doing everything at once but I don't want to feel this shame after relapsing.

So this week I started going to the gym, I also reached 5 days which is the most since probably Ramadan, although I did it again on Thursday, I then didn’t do it Friday or Saturday, so one time the whole week, which I believe is an improvement.

I have a problem. A big one. I'm 26, almost 27, and I'm still stuck. It's gotten worse and worse. I'm daydreaming about more haram things than I did in this past. I'm daydreaming about porn more often than in the past. I'm at the age of marriage, and yet I'm gambling on my purity.

Ive watched this subreddit for years. Ive seen accounts come and go. People complaining about their lack of control, and the same people later achieving success. People that won against their desires and got married.

And I'm in the same spot. Wasting my time, rotting away. Years go, and I see my old posts. My old journal entries. My old schedules. My old plans. My old commitments. My old attempts. My old wishes and dreams. My old fears come to fruition one relapse at a time.

It's like I'm on a train to jahannam, and I have the choice to change lanes, but refuse to do so. The same duas get made, and I go and do the opposite of what I make dua for.

This is a disease that has shaped me and will leave a scar that won't easily be removed.

I just don't understand. If I have full control over myself, why haven't I succeeded yet? Or maybe, I don't have full control over myself, and this addiction has taken over more and more of my brain.

Sit with yourself, daily. I know it is hard, for this kind of habit to form, especially for us, we tend to run away from our thoughts, but imagine if we become okay with our thoughts, the bad and the good, they dont trigger us as much.

Sitting with ourself, with a journal, and cup of tea, some nice ambient to make it enjoyable, and letting your thoughts flow, see what comes up, after a bad day sit with yourself, after a good day sit with yourself, process what needs processing.

In time you would love to sit with yourself, you would love to know yourself more, the good and the bad.

There are many benefits to that practice, but one of them, the urges and the inner voices that scream for you to run away, they become quieter, days might pass when you do not hear them.

I am currently around 21 days free, and the last 2 weeks were some of the easiest for me in terms of urges, despite having hard tasks and stressful days.

Today is hard but it's ok.

Can i start thinking about marriage after i stop watching porn and masturbate only , instead of doing them together ?

So i think marriage here could help to quit if we quit porn specifically ?

Suddenly after a long period of abstinence I now find corn disgusting, even though I get the urges.. what I get is natural sexual cravings and not the desire to watch corn and pmo .

I’ve never felt this much confident and so much good about myself. This feels so good .

The first week / month is gonna be difficult but once you get about that, that’s it .

My love life has also improved a lot..

Corn , Pmo is a disease. It’s disgusting.. just imagine watch people perform sex and you jerking off to it . Too weak of a person to be doing that.

It’s kills love, attraction and confidence..

Fight it like your life depends on it , cause it does.

Salam! I’m on day 6 and have crazy urges. I know that it’s normal but I’ve never really held it in for this long before and honestly I’m not sure how I’ve been able to because I’m a heavy g00ner. I would do it almost every single day which is crazy looking back but I just wanted some advice or if anyone could be an accountability partner so we can keep each other on the right track InshAllah. And if anyone could give me some advice on what to do. May Allah reward you guys.

Since working with brothers, I've noticed certain patterns that keep coming up.

Here are 6 things I've learnt.

1️⃣ They don't prioritise sleep. 😴

Late nights, tiredness and being alone while everyone else sleeps can make urges harder to manage. Recovery starts before the urge arrives.

2️⃣ There are often other struggles. 🧠

Anxiety, depression, ADHD and OCD can sometimes be part of the picture. If you're not addressing what's driving the behaviour, you're missing part of the puzzle.

3️⃣ Their environment makes things harder. 📱

Keeping devices in the bedroom gives easy access when you're alone and vulnerable. Change your environment to support your recovery.

4️⃣ Their devices have no filters. 🔓

Content blockers and accountability tools won't solve everything, but they add a layer of protection. Make access harder, not easier.

5️⃣ They rely on spirituality alone. 🕌

Prayer, dhikr, Qur'an and time in the masjid are vital. But spirituality should work alongside a recovery strategy, understanding triggers, healthier coping mechanisms and accountability.

6️⃣ They rely on willpower. 💪

What happens when you're exhausted, stressed or alone at 1 am? Willpower alone isn't a strategy. You need a plan for when urges hit.

Here's the takeaway.

Breaking free from pornography isn't simply about trying harder. It's about understanding the cycle, changing your environment and putting the right strategies and support in place.

Struggling doesn't mean you're beyond help. Recovery is possible.

At Fitrah Revival, this is what I help Muslim men work towards.

Which of these six do you think is most overlooked in pornography recovery?