My husband and I recently announced my pregnancy to his family. My mother-in-law already knew, and we told my brother-in-law and sister-in-law. They were happy for us, but l've been feeling upset and stressed since the conversation.

There's some history here. A few years ago, my husband told my sister-in-law that his first impression of her was that she could be "a lot," which was his way of saying he found her rude and difficult to be around. (It was a part of a larger and longer conversation about why we distanced ourselves from them) She still brings it up in passive aggressive ways sometimes. My husband's family is Persian. During the announcement, she said the baby would be born in the same Persian seasonal birthday group as her. She pretty much yelled, in a "joking" way to my husband, "Remember when I was too much? Your baby's going to be just like me. Karma's a" …you know what. Everyone was laughing, and maybe she meant it playfully, but it felt like a dig at my husband, with our baby as the punchline.

My sister-in-law also said she wants to see the baby all the time and asked how she could do that since we don't usually have people over. They've known for four or five years that we tend to visit them and, for several reasons, don't invite them to our home. She was very excited, but seemed serious about wanting to come over as much as possible. She said she didn't want to make an appointment (she thinks unannounced visits are ok) and asked how she was supposed to see the baby if she had to. She seemed to think that because I'd be postpartum and the baby might not go out much, she would need to come to us. I said we'd figure it out, but I felt pressured. I'm not comfortable with her dropping by or coming over whenever she wants, and i don't have that kind of relationship with her.

Being around her is stressful because she can be rude and very sensitive to feedback. I find her husband (my husbands brother) stressful to deal with too, and conversations with them often leave me tense. I'm worried about having them in my home during a vulnerable postpartum period.

My brother-in-law also went on about how only children are lonely and shouldn't grow up without siblings. They know it took us a long time to get pregnant and that we may only have one child. We're still hoping and praying this pregnancy goes well, so those comments hurt.
I'm also worried about newborn precautions. My in-laws aren't vaccinated against the flu or COVID. They don't consider themselves anti-vaccine; they just think the vaccines are unnecessary because they haven't gotten sick and believe people get over the flu. They also visit my mother-in-law, who is almost 80, even when they have colds. I'll ask my doctor what precautions are recommended, but I'm stressed about navigating this with them.

My husband's family is loud, forceful, and sometimes passive-aggressive. They can react to reasonable requests as if they're insults. My family is much quieter and more careful about boundaries, so the difference feels stark. I already find visits with his family difficult, and now I'm anxious about how involved they'll want to be during my pregnancy and after the baby is born.
I don't want to assume the worst or treat their excitement as bad intent. But given the history and how these comments landed, I feel pressured and on edge. Am I overreacting, or is it reasonable to feel upset and want clear boundaries around visits and newborn precautions?

I didn’t think much of it in office, but now I’m looking at these ultrasound pics I’m concerned about what appears to be a prominent bulge on baby forehead in the 3D images. The forehead furrow line definitely runs in the family, but some of these images look like a dramatic bulge. Thoughts?

Hi, our 17m old’s left foot turns inwards and he mostly walks on his toes on that foot. We are concerned about it but when I mentioned it to his Dr. last month he said that is normal? At that same appointment I told him that son had started to stand independently. Since he was making progress he wanted to hold off on a PT referral. So I’ve tried to give extra playtime to activities to encourage his confidence and walking skills.

I’ve waited a month with no change seen in that foot but he has started to walk independently for up to 10 steps when he’s in the mood to. None of my mom friends have seen this with their kiddos. In this video you can see that left foot turns inwards and doesn’t quite do what it needs to. As a note, he does this when on his Y-Bike and while holding someone’s hand and walking but it’s less dramatic. When walking independently it’s also less dramatic but you can still tell that foot doesn’t want to cooperate.

Have any of you seen this? Should I just stay patient and keep encouraging him? Go back to Dr and Insist on a PT referral?

RN, 33 weeks pregnant, rotating 12s, and I have two kids under 8 already. My work schedule is a full time logistics project before I even add school, activities and prenatal appointments, and most family organization advice still assumes everybody works a neat 9 to 5.

What are other shift working nurses, or ngl any shift workers with families, have actually found useful for keeping the household running when your own schedule is the least predictable part of the equation?

Hi all!

I’m a FTM currently in my second trimester, and I’m looking for some advice on breast pumps! These are the breast pumps covered by my insurance, although I also have the option to upgrade, which I don’t mind paying extra for if it’s worth it.

My goal is to breastfeed my baby, but I’d also like to pump so that I have a backup option if I’m unable to breastfeed directly or if breastfeeding doesn’t go as planned.
For those of you who have used any of these pumps, I’d love to hear about your experiences! Which one would you recommend, and are there any upgrades you think are worth the extra money?
Thank you!

Edit: wow! Thank you all for your helpful advice and recommendations! It looks like the blue Spectra is the most recommended, so I will go for this one

i made this account so i could get advice, i posted this question in science based parenting as well.

my son had a sick visit today, was supposed to have his 15mo wellness visit tomorrow. he has a confirmed case of flu A and doc knew this. he suggested i still give him his flu shot and tDap booster and i agreed.

I am now fearing i made a horrible decision. It says online that vaccines should be delayed with moderate or severe illness. his flu has been manageable thus far. highest temp was 102.4 before meds. on meds it’s been regular, highest maybe 100. eating and drinking ok. runny nose and slight cough. he’s fussy but not lethargic, breathing is ok.

I’m hung up on the fact that it’s only day 2 of the flu and what if his symptoms do progress to moderate or severe. He’s noticeably more fussy tonight and i feel terrible. Like i made a horrible decision. I should’ve just waited til he was recovered to get the shot. Advice needed.

My baby girl is 8.5 months (7 corrected) and has come down with a sickness, it started as a dry cough only at night for the past 4 nights and now it’s progressed just since today as a wet cough and the sound of congestion in her chest/nasal passages. Yes, she is vaccinated, and yes she has her flu shot!

Things I have tried:
Nebulizer
Baby Vicks rub
Humidifier
Motrin
Offering lots of fluids

History: I wanted a baby at 35, but my husband didn't. Out of nowhere, when I was 39, he decided he was ready (I was negative/neutral).

He's great on paper: cooks, cares for our baby completely, takes the night shift, and supports me physically and emotionally anytime I'm struggling (even with work). Anyone and everyone I talk with says he's the best partner anyone could hope for. He thinks the same. I used to really love him but now idgaf and want to just live with him as roommates since we have a baby in the mix. Else I would've divorced him.

But he's also called me selfish, casually said I should be grateful he isn't like other husbands, implied other men would've left me ages ago, and said he doesn't like vacationing with me. He's yelled at me when I've fallen or hurt myself instead of supporting me,, made VERY hurtful comments during IVF (he could've easily gotten his down by a surrogate) and pregnancy (yelled at me at least every week for whatever reason until the third trimester), and imposed rules that I feel interfered with bonding with our newborn. I had a rough postpartum recovery, including a fourth-degree tear, and feel emotionally unsupported despite his practical help and checking in on my emotional wellbeing anytime he notices I'm in low energy. Guilt tripped me about not breastfeeding under the pretense that I would regret not doing it later.

He says that I'm a great mother but i can't internalize it since he was finding faults at every single thing I did.

Now he's out of town, and I feel so relieved. I don't miss him this time (very unlike me); I think I genuinely want space/separation/something.

Yet he's an involved father, and when he recently acknowledged how hard it was for me not to hold our baby during recovery, it felt good to hear.

There's a lot more to this, but I tried to summarize it as much as possible.

I'm also unusually angry with my parents, who help enormously but constantly question my parenting. I feel resentful toward everyone and don't recognize myself lately.

Has anyone experienced this postpartum? Am I dealing with accumulated resentment, postpartum rage, or realizing I no longer want my marriage or something completely different?

I am going through therapy but don't think it's doing anything. He is against couples counseling.

I need to vent and get some outside perspective because I feel like I'm running on absolute empty, and I don't know what to do anymore.

My boyfriend and I have a baby girl together (let's call her Emma), who is six weeks old. I am severely struggling with postpartum depression, deep fatigue, and feeling completely unappreciated. Whenever I get sad or overwhelmed, my boyfriend just asks, "What's wrong? What's wrong with you?" instead of being supportive. When I tell him I just want us to be connected, he gets upset or flips it back on me, saying he wants more affection and that I should kiss him when he walks through the door—even while I'm actively holding the baby, making dinner, and serving him.

Here is what my reality looks like:

Zero effort on dates/romance: I’ve explicitly told him I want to feel chosen and go on dates. He acts like planning a date is moving mountains and says, "I don't know where to take you." When he finally picks a spot, he says things like, "You're either going to really love it or really hate it," which completely ruins the mood and makes me not even want to go. I’m not high-maintenance at all—I’ve told him I’d be thrilled with a beach picnic, eating sandwiches in the car while listening to music, or getting In-N-Out. Yet, when I asked him for something simple recently, he just came home with a single Twix bar instead.

Night shifts and baby care: Emma eats a lot throughout the night, and I bottle-feed her continuously. Monday through Friday, my boyfriend works, so I do all the nighttime diaper changes, feedings, and care on my own. On the weekends, he still doesn't help. He won't feed her or change her diapers. Occasionally, he will pick up a used diaper and throw it outside, and then he considers that "helping."

Evening routine: When he comes home from work, I serve him food while he showers. He'll hold Emma briefly until I serve his meal, then he eats and takes his time. After that, he takes the baby so I can finally eat—but if Emma starts crying while I'm eating, he gives me "the look" like he hates holding her, forcing me to rush through my food.

Family comes first: He consistently puts his family before our peace. When his family comes over, I am exhausted, Emma is crying, and she needs her diaper changed—yet he doesn't step up to help me at all.

Fridays & drinking: Every other Friday after work, he goes to his brother's house from 4:30 PM until 9:30 PM. When he comes home, he's under the influence and expects me to make him food.

I do so much, but I feel totally unloved, uncherished, and alone. I just want to feel taken care of, too. Instead, I'm getting to the point where I'm just completely burnt out and numb.

Am I going crazy? What would you do in my situation?

If you're considering, or already pursuing surrogacy, and wondering 'what actually happens at the IVF clinic after you match with a surrogate?' Pineapple Family is co-hosting a free webinar with Dr. Melvin Thornton of Global Fertility & Genetics.

REGISTRATION REQUIRED: Link in comments

Matching with a surrogate is a major milestone. But what happens next at the fertility clinic? For many intended parents, the medical side of surrogacy can feel like a series of decisions happening behind the scenes.

From preparing embryos to navigating transfer and early pregnancy, understanding what the clinic evaluates and decides is an important part of preparing for the journey.

Together with Global Fertility & Genetics, Pineapple Family is co-hosting hosting a free webinar on Thursday, November 5, with Dr. Melvin Thornton, Reproductive Endocrinologist & Fertility Specialist to walk through the medical side of a surrogacy journey.

He'll be covering topics like:

• What happens at the fertility clinic after matching
• How embryos are prepared for transfer
• What the clinic evaluates before proceeding
• How the embryo transfer process works
• What happens between transfer and early pregnancy
• Which medical decisions are made by the clinic

There will also be a live Q&A, and questions can be submitted anonymously.

It's Thursday, November 5, at 3 PM PT / 6 PM ET. Registration is free, and both intended parents and gestational carriers are welcome.

DISCLOSURE: I'm a co-founder of Pineapple Family, a family-building platform supporting independent surrogacy and egg donation journeys. We are not an agency. This webinar is an educational session, not medical advice. Medical decisions should be discussed with your treating fertility clinic.

Hi mamas!

I hope this is okay to post here! My sister recently started an Instagram page all about baby-led weaning (BLW), sharing baby meals, food ideas, and her journey along the way.

She's genuinely SO excited about it, and honestly, seeing how happy and passionate she is makes me even more excited for her.

I wanted to surprise her with a little support from other moms! If any of you are into baby-led weaning, looking for meal inspiration, or just love supporting other mamas, it would mean so much if you could check out her page and maybe give her a follow! 🫶

Her Instagram: "@theastreats14" (https://www.instagram.com/theastreats14)

No pressure at all! Just a proud sister trying to help her sister grow something she's really excited about.

Thank you!! 🥰

My daughter has been complaining about occasional headaches after school and I'm trying to figure out what's going on. One thing I've noticed is that she barely drinks any water throughout the day. She'll come home with almost the same amount I packed in her bottle that morning.

I'm planning to bring it up with her pediatrician but I'm curious if other parents have noticed something similar with their kids. She says she just doesn't feel like drinking that much even though I've tried pretty much everything to make water more appealing to her.

I'm starting to wonder if her drinking habits could be contributing to the headaches. Did getting your kids to drink more water make any difference and if you've dealt with something similar, what actually helped?

Hello there. New mom here. My baby has 2 months and I am breastfeeding. Now I have an operce breastfeeding pump but I would like another one. A better one because I am staying too much in bed breastfeeding, while using this pump too.

Do you have any recommendation?

Also, when did your baby stopped having colics🙁?

Please be kind. I am 3 months pregnant. We had a few neighbor kids over for a play date, they have been here before a few times. One particular 6 year old came up to me and randomly hit my stomach. I stayed calm as she probably didn't know I was pregnant but it startled me and I told her to please not do that again because I have a baby in my tummy. This particular child is a bit rambunctious, a little harsh with toys and people, walks right into my home, pantry and fridge. I understand she is young, my kids are only 3 and 1.5 so I do not have familiarity with how a 6 year girl is yet.

Later that day, I shared with my husband, alone in our home that I do not like this child. He said my comment disgusted him and I felt immediate shame and guilt. Now I question myself. I already struggle with depression and self harm. Am I wrong to say this thought out loud? Should I save these thoughts for therapy and not my husband?

Update: He apologized and shared he was triggered as I suspected. I appreciate you alls support to help me feel better. Thank you

Hi everyone

I’m currently 8 weeks and 4 days pregnant, and I’m feeling extremely anxious.
I had my last ultrasound exactly at 7 weeks, and everything measured well. We saw the baby’s heartbeat, which was 146 bpm, and my hCG at exactly 7 weeks was around 81,000.
During the ultrasound, the sonographer performed both an abdominal and a transvaginal scan. During the transvaginal ultrasound, after checking the baby, she also checked my ovaries. I felt some pain in my abdomen while she was checking them, and I told her. She stopped within a few seconds. I’ve been wondering if that could somehow have affected anything.

Before the ultrasound, my main symptoms were tender, enlarged breasts and fatigue. However, a few days after the ultrasound, I noticed that my symptoms started easing. My breasts are no longer tender at all. They feel very soft, although they’re still larger than they were before pregnancy. I’m also not nearly as tired as I used to be.
I have absolutely no nausea, no vomiting, and no other noticeable pregnancy symptoms. Occasionally, I might feel very mild nausea, but it’s so subtle that I honestly wonder if I’m imagining it because I want to feel something that reassures me that I’m still pregnant.
I had a miscarriage last year, and it took us 10 months to get pregnant again. I’m absolutely terrified of losing this baby too. I know symptoms can fluctuate, but experiencing such a noticeable change right after seeing a healthy heartbeat has made me incredibly anxious.
**Has anyone else experienced their breast tenderness disappearing and their other symptoms easing around 8 weeks, only to have everything turn out fine?** Did you have little to no nausea throughout your first trimester?
I know everyone’s pregnancy is different, but I would really appreciate hearing your experiences, especially from anyone who has experienced a previous miscarriage and struggled with anxiety during their next pregnancy.
I’m trying so hard not to panic, but I’m scared.

Your partner told you that he feels like he doesnt need to do the dishes during the week cos he doesnt contribute to them? so I came back with "Well, we should call your mother for advice" Since thats what he does whenever we argue. Well, he shut up about that and started helping out more with the dishes. I dont understand the minds of some of these "MEN" sometimes.

hello! shooting my shot here. im 30 weeks pregnant and barely have anything (some clothes and stuff that were gifted and most are hand-me-downs). I get more anxious than excited whenever anyone says "wow you're so close now!" because we are not prepared at all. our home is tiny (literally no safe space for a baby) and there is no money to move to a bigger space even though it's a need right now.

I have one full-time office job but I'm still looking for second, third full-time jobs just to get by even though I should literally just be resting at this point (I'm starting to be so uncomfortable and not move a lot). Husband works as a freelancer and doesn't earn consistently and enough. He's trying to get jobs but hasn't really been able to land a more secure high-paying job.

my body is under so so much stress because of all this that I wouldn't be surprised if I go into pre-term labor. I get more anxious at the thought of that (because again - not prepared at all).

I have a list of things I want for baby like essentials and stuff, and I'm starting to not care about my own postpartum essentials just to get baby essentials even though I know I would need to get stuff for own recovery too.

Idk what to do anymore I cry everyday and anxious it's affecting the baby

if anyone would like to help (pls I'm desperate now), I'm open to doing online jobs or I can give my PayPal (no venmo or cashapp where I'm from), or I could also just link my baby registry.

This is my first kiddo, and I'm happy and excited to be a mom. But do you ever miss your old life? Or your old self? I feel like every evening, once it starts getting dark, I kinda start missing my old self and the things I used to do. Did anyone feel the same, how did you get over it?

So I(f24) grew up 6 hours away from where my fiance and I live now. We have a beautiful baby girl who I love soo soo much but I’ve been struggling with the fact that I feel like I have no real friends. I moved to a really small town for university and never made any good friends. My fiance is from here which is why we live here. I know motherhood can feel lonely but I can’t help but wonder if I will always feel this weird void in my life. I put myself out there, join mom groups and put in the effort to make new mom friends but I feel like everyone around me has their own childhood friends so I find it difficult. I guess that’s small town things?

Anyways for moms who have/are experiencing this, what did you do to feel less lonely? Should I consider moving closer to home?

Thank you so much in advance 🫶🫶

A slight rant here. I just got invited to my friend’s THIRD baby shower. This is the third shower that her mom is throwing her. Her first baby boy was born in 2020 and she obviously had a shower. Her next baby was a girl born in 2023 and her mom threw her a “sprinkle”. Okay, fine, I get people do that. She decided then she was done having kids so she got rid of all things baby. She is now pregnant with her 3rd baby (who was planned after changing their minds) and her mom is throwing her another shower with a full registry and everything.

Why do I find this so rude? Am I out of touch with the latest trends? I always thought you get ONE baby shower. I understand sprinkles for a different sex or if there is a huge gap between babies but I’m so annoyed by this, I could never imagine letting anyone throw me a second shower let alone a third.

I just need people to tell me I’m not crazy.

***update after seeing so many comments.

A baby is a blessing and yes, babies should be celebrated. However, my issue is simply her creating a full registry with car seats, a crib, stroller, etc. I feel it’s proper etiquette to have one baby shower and ask for a bunch of gifts, not three… which is what she is doing.

This is one of my best friends, I’m not going to decline the invite. I just simply think it’s rude to ask 30+ people to come and shower you with gifts for a third time.*****

I have always been soooooo patient with my child, but pretty much this whole pregnancy, i have been an absolute monster. My temper is just right at the surface, and i am SO far from the mom i want to be and the mom my little boy (and soon to be younger son) deserves.

Idk what the hell is up with me. I'm just irritable all the time. I have pretty low sleep needs and function fine with little kid chaos, its seriously not like me to be this angry all the time, and it scares me.

I know things will be harder with two, especially the good ol newborn + 2yo combo, but if this mood continues, idk how i will cope as a sahm.

Therapy/meds/etc are out of the question and no i cannot get any more help than i already have.

I just want to hear from moms who may have experienced pregnancy rage and had it actually resolve after the baby was born.

Edit: I'm 32 weeks

I’m a ftm and need advice. My babygirl is one month old and we recently figured out she does not like to be swaddled when it’s bed time. She fusses and cries the whole night and when we tried without the swaddle she slept for longer. She likes being able to have her arms free. However I feel like now she is starting to wake up often again and I am not getting any sleep. She constantly wants to be in my arms and the transfer from me to the bassinet always ends in her screaming. I’ve tried to keep her in there and just pat her belly to show her I’m there but it doesn’t work. I put the pacifier in her mouth and that works until it falls out of her mouth and she starts screaming again. I make sure she’s fed, burped, changed I’m not sure if there’s something else I can do to make her more comfortable in there. We have nothing in the bassinet it is just a firm surface.

Hi!! My 17-month-old baby will walk if I hold one of my fingers or gently hold the back of her shirt, but sometimes she lets go and walks on her own toward a specific goal. She only recently started letting go and trying to walk independently at 16 months.
What can I do to help her gain confidence and walk on her own? I am worried, but her pediatrician says everything is fine and that she has the strength and ability to walk independently. However, she still prefers holding my finger. Has anyone else experienced this with their little ones? Any advice would be greatly appreciated! ❤️

My oldest is in kindergarten and we got him a haircut before school started in August. He is desperately in need of another cut so we have one scheduled for Wednesday. He has board straight hair that no matter how much gel or hairspray or styling cream I use, it falls in his face and he can’t stand it. His hair grows ridiculously fast too! After his appointment, I want to go ahead and schedule his next appointment to keep his hair at a manageable length but I don’t know how far out to make the next one.

My husband keeps his hair longish (right at/below his shoulders) and I keep mine long so we only get haircuts about 3-4 times a year so I feel like my son needs his own haircut schedule that is a little more frequent.

How often do you take your little boy to get haircuts?