r/MacMiller • u/Mr_Simian • 10m ago
Discussion 4 Years Older
I just turned 4 years older than Malcolm when he passed away, the big 3-0. I am 4 years younger than him, so he passed away when I was 22. I discovered Mac like most people my age, when the Kool-Aid and Frozen Pizza video went viral on our IPod touches and we likely first saw it in the school cafeteria, huddled around either at lunch or before our classes started in the morning, taking turns sharing the old white, wired headphones that came with every IPod. Immediately, I knew he was going to be massive. He was just... tuned in. He got what it was like to be our age and he communicated it in such an infectiously entertaining way. I was one of those kids that became completely obsessed. Watched every interview, watched all of the Fun is 4 Everyone videos repeatedly, went through the entire catalogue of music. I was a very shy and awkward kid and the way Malcolm seemed so confident and funny, while at the same time sharing some pretty intimate and personal thoughts in some of his tracks, just resonated with me. I followed along for every release up until about GO:OD AM and then my life path just went elsewhere. When Swimming came out, he came back onto my radar and I was instantly impressed. He was mature, refined, his sound was so unique and it seemed like he was really finding himself while somehow also finding us as we listened along. It seemed like he was just becoming comfortable with his vulnerability and his humanity in a way that is just so authentic, while also making it sound hella good.
Then, he passed away suddenly but maybe not so unexpectedly, as tragic as that is to write. The reunion with an old friend that I was eager to keep moving forward with was suddenly cut short. So much life has happened to me since he passed away. When my Mom was battling her cancer during 2020-2021, I would have Swimming on repeat in my car, which became my personal space to really just let all of my emotions express. Wings was the heaviest in the rotation, to be sure. That song.. man. Nothing compares to it and I don't think anything ever will. Then, I got my first big boy job, moved out of my hometown, and started a family. I named my son Malcolm. Now that I'm a little bit older and have a child of my own, I see his loss much more through the lens of his parents. The amount of love and effort that goes into raising a child, it's just unlike anything else in this world. I feel for his parents so much and I honestly pray for them at least once a week. I really hope they're doing okay. If either of you happen to ever check this sub, you've been handling his legacy utterly perfectly and we all love you.
Anyways, thanks for coming to my TED Talk. I just needed to vent a little bit. It might be corny, but human beings often find artists they find some type of comfort or relatability in and attach themselves to them. Malcolm was that artist for me and his music helped me through some serious life events that I'll forever be grateful for. Love all you guys and if you read this far, you're incredibly dope.
