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u/ContentChecker Aug 08 '25
Cuomo needs to stop day drinking
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u/CHIBA1987 Aug 08 '25
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u/Calrabjohns Aug 08 '25
Oh I can help with that.
He's Andrew Cuomo, son of Mario, grandson of Andrea. If he has long enough, he can remember a lot about family genealogy.
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u/Optimal_Cause4583 Aug 09 '25
Husband to a murdered wife
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u/Calrabjohns Aug 09 '25
So...I typed in a Search Query - Andrew Cuomo Wife Murdered, and am seeing bizarre things that I honestly didn't know because I feel like I'm getting a PhD on this entire family overnight.
I'm also Google famous as the sixth entry that pops up (for me) is my Gladiator joke. Well, not mine entirely. I have to thank someone.
Who?
Andrew Cuomo, so...nah.
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u/carlsen002 Aug 10 '25
Just to be absolutely crystal clear, he is the son of Mario, Grandson of Andrea. There, I hope that helps.
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u/Calrabjohns Aug 08 '25
Nonsense.
He's Andrew Cuomo, son of Mario, grandson of Andrea.
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the True emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
What within all of that would look like drinking?
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u/Beneficial-Expert287 Aug 09 '25
My name is Inigo Montoya…
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u/Calrabjohns Aug 09 '25
"...Prepare to [meet Andrew Cuomo, son of Mario, grandson of Andrea, and afterwards prefer to] die."
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u/MooreThird Aug 09 '25
"Say my name"
"Andrew Cuomo, son of Mario, grandson of Andrea"
"You're goddamn right!"
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u/Calrabjohns Aug 09 '25
Say my name, say my name, when no one is around you, say -
No!!!!!!! I refuse.
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u/Calrabjohns Aug 09 '25
Or getting punchdrunk along with his brother, Christopher.
Apparently they both have been doing that while Mamdani and AOC are silently saying, "Why are they hitting themselves?"
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u/BeardedDragon1917 Aug 08 '25
Pick a headline:
"Old man yells at cloud"
"New York Post reader attempts communication"
"Recent loser back at it"
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u/zffacsB Aug 08 '25
Bro is sephiroth-posting and it’s only August 😭
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u/Hungry_Past_2755 Aug 08 '25
i’m sorry who’s Mario and Andrea?
wait! i think he’s trying to send the message that Mamdani isn’t “american” 🫠🫠🫠
this is so disturbing!
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u/MrSFedora Aug 08 '25
Mario Cuomo is his dad. He was governor of New York during the 80s.
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u/Calrabjohns Aug 09 '25
So...what did his grandfather do, besides possibly having regret about having children.
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u/MrSFedora Aug 09 '25
Apparently, he opened a grocery store in Queens after emigrating from Sicily.
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u/Calrabjohns Aug 09 '25 edited Aug 10 '25
Information I used to good effect, I hope, in a post somewhere here. It's new.
You're MrSFedora, my internet sister.
You look tired when you're hungry. Have some 🍿
Edit: I needed to look a little closer at your Reddit icon. I'm sorry 😞
But you helped me all the same thing and we agree AC is DOA.
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u/limitlessricepudding Aug 09 '25
He probably thinks he gets woke points because his grandfather had a woman's name.
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u/alliamisbullets Aug 09 '25
“andrea” is a male name in italian 🇮🇹
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u/romanticaro Aug 09 '25
he renamed the tappan zee bridge the mario m cuomo bridge… it was a huge deal and everyone hates it.
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u/MonsterkillWow Aug 08 '25
Oh look. A fascist adjacent member of the bourgeoisie talking about bloodlines and his supposed birthright lmao.
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Aug 08 '25
This is so unprofessional
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u/teddyburke Aug 08 '25
His brother just responded to an AI video of AOC, and when he got called out for it he responded with, “but it sounds like something she would say! Why don’t you condemn Hamas!!”
If you watch the video you’d have to have never heard AOC speak before to believe it sounds like her. This guy is on national news channels. There’s zero “professionalism” involved with these people.
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u/Calrabjohns Aug 09 '25
Since when has nepotism stopped being professional?
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u/teddyburke Aug 09 '25
Add to that the fact that their dad actually was a Democrat, whereas Andrew Cuomo is now literally in contact with Trump, colluding to ensure that Mamdani doesn’t win - when according to his own data, Mamdani won the majority of the Jewish vote in the primary!
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u/Calrabjohns Aug 09 '25
I can only handle so much investments into Andrew "In Case You Forgot" Cuomo's self-owns. If this were a stock, I humbly suggest I would have enough raviolis to help Mamdani with his ideas for repleting food deserts.
It's not a balanced diet, but it's almost a perpetual motion machine at this point.
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Aug 09 '25
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u/Calrabjohns Aug 09 '25
Every time I eat samosa or luwombo, I am committing a hate crime and an Italian angel does not get a set of wings.
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u/xandrachantal Aug 08 '25
I'm granddaughter of Ruby and Horace. See how that doesn't mean anything to anyone as they're not household names. What is he going on about.
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u/Kriegerian Aug 08 '25
Who won the first round, Andy?
Also, how are those sex crime and corruption cases going?
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u/Train-Nearby Aug 08 '25
TFW your affordable housing policy includes living rent free in Cuomo’s head
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u/TheOneTrueTrench Aug 08 '25
This is a two man race.
And you're not one of them. Sit down.
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u/Calrabjohns Aug 09 '25
Perhaps the less fakakta version of Cuomo will win the two man race running in his head, and he will heed your advice.
So far, it's the second round. We know this because Andrew Cuomo, son of Mario, grandson of Andrea, grew up with ziti and greedy, said so.
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u/Waryur Aug 10 '25
Fakakta? Is that a Yiddish word? It sounds a lot like the German word "verkackt" which means "screwed up".
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u/Calrabjohns Aug 10 '25
Yep! There's alternate spellings and that's the one that shows up in my head. Basically the same thing: "Crazy, screwed up."
Language is so damn cool. I wish I had taken some linguistics classes, but that's when you eventually have to do some autodidacting
Learn on ya own.
And I will, I think. I'm hitting a point where I'm more interested in learning while earning, then just lazing and grazing.
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u/Waryur Aug 10 '25
Yeah, I looked it up in Wiktionary, and the Romanization they use is farkakte which is even closer to the German - has the R, and uses -e instead of -a for the schwa sound.
Do you not say the R in "farkakte" / use a "non-rhotic" R like an English accent? I ask because German is non-rhotic ("verkackt" sounds like "feah-kakt" or even... "fakakt" (!) depending on dialect/accent) but I thought Yiddish was rhotic (pronounces all Rs)
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u/seltzr Aug 08 '25
Yes but Mamdani once moved a table around his college campus. Potentially it was to play beer pong!
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u/schmoolecka Aug 08 '25
Yes, and you and your brother are abject embarrassments to the Cuomo legacy. Banner week for dumb tweets from these chucklefucks
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u/Perfectshadow12345 Aug 08 '25
Tough talk directed at the guy who already beat and humiliated you once.
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u/dyke-wazowski Aug 09 '25
You know, if I had to bet, I’d say Zohran Mamdani also has parents and grandparents with names. Just a guess, though, I could be wrong.
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u/Calrabjohns Aug 09 '25
Andrew Cuomo is going to be VERY UPSET when that Ancestry test comes back, and he has a surprise connection to his imaginary opponent.
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u/AlleyRhubarb Aug 08 '25
You look like a sick old fuck who sexually harassed any woman in a ten foot radius.
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u/Curious_Jicama_2465 Aug 08 '25
“It’s just the second round” is the most anime protagonist way of saying “I conceded the primary out of shame”
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u/Calrabjohns Aug 09 '25
Ya know...if we all go far enough back, we can reach a couple common names, if we're looking at certain Books.
Maybe the "...begat..." part of Genesis really speaks to him.
Oh I'm sorry.
Him being Andrew Cuomo, son of Mario, grandson of Andrea, brother to Christopher, Margaret, Maria, and Madeline. Once married to a Kennedy.
Oh, which Kennedy? Kerry Kennedy. They have two children, Mariah and Cara.
So one of Andrew's daughter's first name(s) as well as his ex-wife's first name is: Mariah Kerry.
I forgot to mention Andrew's mother, Matilda. But he didn't either, so I guess I'm covered.
Hopefully the priest will remember one day when he formally dies. It's a long list.
Who's he? I'm sorry.
He's Andrew Cuomo, son of Mario, grandson of Andrea.
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u/LuluLittle2020 Aug 09 '25
Why is this post not higher up tho. I need to know.
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u/Calrabjohns Aug 09 '25 edited Aug 09 '25
Does that mean I can count on your support to enter into the New York Primary? I mean, not to run against Mamdani. But to convince someone that maybe he is tired and needs a nap.
Oh I'm sorry, he being Andrew Cuomo...
These jokes were paid for by the generous donations of Andrew Cuomo, son of Mario, grandson of Andrea. And readers like you.
Edit: It might be my favorite of my own. The sheer absurdity...the sheer horror...the horror.
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u/DownwiththeACE Aug 08 '25
Bro when you get knocked the fuck out the first round, aint no second round
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u/romanticaro Aug 09 '25
the new york mag had a great piece where they interviewed candidates. cuomo was a cardboard cutout cause he didn’t respond to the request for the interview. that’s all you need to know.
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u/geog1101 Aug 08 '25
So very cringe! Do you think Muhammad Ali ever dragged his father and grandmother into the ring when he had heavy-weight bouts, Drew? Pathetic.
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u/Calrabjohns Aug 09 '25
Hi, my name is, what?
My name is, who?
My name is, chka-chka, Andrew Cuomo
Hi, my name is, what? (Excuse me) My name is, who?
My name is, chka-chka, Andrew Cuomo
(Can I have the attention of the class for one second?)
In case you forgot, I'm Andrew Cuomo, son of Mario, grandson of Andrea.
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u/limitlessricepudding Aug 09 '25
Some-a one protect-a Zohran, the Cuomo is going to-a try to jump-a on his-a head and stomp him!
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u/jorgeamadosoria Aug 08 '25
i think quoting his genealogy makes Mandnai's poont for him. Zohran should just retweet this without comment.
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u/RPCOM Aug 09 '25
Bro thinks he’s the King of Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Four Boroughs and Predator of the Realm.
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u/darkwingdankest Aug 09 '25
He sounds like he's announcing himself on an episode of Game of Thrones
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Aug 09 '25
I thought mamdani won??
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u/Calrabjohns Aug 09 '25
Don't let the grandson of Andrea and the son of Mario fool you. Your understanding of reality is more intact than his, I promise.
Whether we do in fact live in a simulation or not, that's another story.
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u/gstateballer925 Aug 09 '25
Who's actually coming up with this shit? If it's Cuomo, himself, I'll let him off the hook, because he really would be this cringe... but if it's his social media team, that's just embarrassing.
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u/HeidelbergianYehZiq1 Aug 08 '25
What is this? Sloppy TNG/DS9-writing where the Klingons are always over the top? 🤨
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Aug 08 '25
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u/tacocatz92 Aug 09 '25
Where is this gif from?
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u/Calrabjohns Aug 09 '25
I think from a commercial about soap. Something to do with beauty/hygienic products.
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u/condods Aug 09 '25
Who the fuck are Mario and Andrea Cuomo?
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u/agharta75 Aug 09 '25
Mario Cuomo was actually a decent governor, and Andrew would have been some forgotten middle manager without him.
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u/All_Hail_Hynotoad Aug 09 '25
Wasn’t there a poll that showed Mamdani would beat the other contestants combined? So, no, Andrew, you are not even a contender.
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u/katharevousa Aug 09 '25
God what a fucking loser, it’s gonna be so awesome when he eats shit again
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u/NetworkNo4478 Aug 09 '25
"You look tired already" he says to the guy leading him by double digits and looking better than ever. Love how rattled Cuomo is.
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u/Punky921 Aug 09 '25
This is a lot of shit talking for a guy who lost by six points in the primary.
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u/Ill-Cantaloupe-4789 Aug 09 '25
my favorite is when he said zohran is rich and he needs to move out of his apartment
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u/Calrabjohns Aug 09 '25
I'm personally going through a lot, so I want to thank two people for this thread. I have laughed at myself so many times, which is not something I find endearing as relates to me, but I do appreciate it in other people sometimes.
First of all, great username. I'm surprised it wasn't taken before you, but that is just a testament (Old) to your intelligence and accuracy of intentions on Reddit.
Additionally, per above, I needed this so much. And your opening salvo cannot be topped. No matter how many times I try.
The second person shall remain nameless, but we all know. We all know. Sleep well, you Jack(off) of Queens. You clown-jester of New York.
I hardly knew ye, but now feel I know ye too well, and all I can say is Ye-uck. Or Ye-ork.
I can't promise this will be my last post in this thread. I only hope I'm as entertaining in my perceived fecund profundity of zingers as I think I am. But I know I'm having a blast.
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u/DrDarkeCNY Aug 11 '25
Rancid Andy Cuomo looked like President Grandpa Befuddled Shitzenpants when he was talking on the news recently, going on about Momdani like he was one brain fart away from screaming the "N" word in everybody's faces.
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u/Aggravating-Depth590 Aug 11 '25
He is Andrew Cuomo, a man who doesn’t know the meaning of No and Stop.
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u/Junior_Emotion9796 Aug 11 '25
Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms, the Mother of Dragons, the Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, the Unburnt, the Breaker of Chains, needs to shut the fuck up
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