Hi everybody, I'm 18 yo, I wanted to be a girl since my kindergarten years and all my life long, in country where I live it's not illegal but it's impossible to do an surgery, my parents think (I'm citing \*all LGBTQ people should be executed), I'm sorry for that. ( ＞Д＜；). I hate myself every time I look in the mirror, I'm always depressed, please tell me what should i do? Thank you...

P.S. seeing a therapist didn't help....

I told a friend of mine that I feel gender envy towards him and ever since then, it seems like he’s been making fun of me because of it. He also makes comments like “you wish you could be like me” and “you wish you could be a guy” I don’t know how to bring it up to him and I’m scared he’s not going to take me serious.
also sorry I know this isn’t really about gender dysphoria

I've been a content creator for a few months and recently came out as ftm. Although many people especially my fans still treat me like a girl? I can't quite place it. The way the community treats women stereotypically as soft comfy cute content creators that are stupid at everything. That's obviously not how I perceive women and that's not how I want them to be treated but that's how they're treated and that's how I'm treated as well. Another thing with fan art I often get drawn as more feminine despite stating multiple times I don't want to be drawn as such.

I often hang out and make content with other men but every time I do, I feel awful. All of these cis men that are just so... manly. I feel like I'm out of place. The way they act, sound, speak. I could never replicate that. I could never fit in with these people. After I post something or stream something with other men there I just sob while rewatching the footage. I do have some transmen friends but they all pass so well to the point many didn't know they were trans in the first place and I can't help but feel jealous. I want to continue making content but I feel sick after rewatching and seeing how different I am compared to the people I surround myself with. Also with the fact over the years when I do finally voice train to a voice I want to achieve there will still be past videos and evidence of me having a more feminine voice.

Another thing is that people often send me dms that I cannot state as it's very upsetting and it makes me feel so dysphoric knowing people still see me as female. I don't know anymore and I'm starting to feel depressed.

I’m having extreme gender dysmorphia and feel like I don’t know who I am. at this point I switched labels almost daily, he/him doesn’t fit, she/her doesn’t either and nor does they/them. I was a Femboy for around a year but now it just doesn’t fit, I feel like I’m losing myself and turning into a blank slate

I have gender dysphoria. ONLY bottom dysphoria though but there's no surgeries that would be good enough to fix that. Since I don't have an issue with my gender only sex, I don't think I am trans. I genuinely would love a drug or therapy that could fix this. My life is a bit of a nightmare with no end in sight.

I feel tired and sad most of the time. I am not suicidal but am uncaring to preserving my own existence. If my parents were not around, I would lie around and rot.

Hello, I am a butch lesbian and have been struggling with body dysphoria really bad recently. I am getting top surgery date scheduled, but of course it’ll be a year out. Now I’m even more aware about how much I hate my chest, and I can’t wear so many of my shirts. When I see myself in the mirror in shirts I love but can’t wear, I just get so down and can’t stop thinking about it for a long time. Wondering if any of you have tips for how to snap out of the never ending black hole?

I'm about a year and a half into hormones, and I'm not really feeling much better about being in my body. I'm starting to wonder if my envy of women was more based on like, wanting to feel desired or socially valuable and the like, or if I mixed up my attraction for women as a desire to be one? I had a therapist who pretty quickly said "you sound like a girl i recommend hormones" and we didn't really interrogate other interpretations of my "signs". The idea was that trying hrt would help me feel more sure, but I'm less sure than ever! help! has anyone else struggled with this much ambivalence this much in? I thought I'd like my face much more at this point and I'm starting to wonder if I liked it better before, or what?

I honestly don't really even know how to start this post or if I'm even if the right spot but I can't really live with this without getting it out much longer.
A little background Im a born male 18 years old and active duty military and present myself as a masculine male Tatted buff etc. But ever since I can remember l've loved and felt comfortable with anything seen as stereotypically feminine and growing up in a traditional home was made to feel like I shouldn't be like that and so I just conformed to what I saw other boys my age doing. I tried acting like them and began trying to do anything to fit in even if it was things I wasn't comfortable doing. I played sports and turned out to be very good and played division 1 hockey and finally started feeling like I was
"one of the boy" and I felt honestly good about who l was. I gave my life to Christ and joined the military after hockey ended due to an injury and now for some reason I can't for the life of me stop thinking about that boy who grew up his entire life questioning who he was. So I did some exploring which I now could do without fearing judgement from parents or others due to me being with new people and away from family and I'm starting to question things. Now a lot of the times I feel like I act more like a woman than a man most of the time and it feels so confusing and I don't know what do and I'm just so confused. I feel like a fraud to the person I spent all those years trying to become but on the other hand l've never felt more like myself and have never been less stressed about the image of myself I'm projecting. I'm really scared honestly and I feel cowardly for it and I want answers to a question I'm afraid I'll never get.

tw: depression

right now i'd call myself spacegender or ghostgender.

**Spacegender**: Spacegender is a type of xenogender and neurogender that feels void-like, never-ending, and simultaneously full yet empty.

**Ghostgender**: Ghostgender (or genderghost) is a xenogender where a person's gender is best described, felt, or symbolized by a ghost. A gender identity that feels ghostly, faint, ethereal, dead, or disconnected from traditional human concepts of gender. It can be linked to being ghostkin (identifying spiritually as a ghost), an aesthetic connection to ghosts, or a feeling of a gender that once was strong but now feels distant and spectral.

anyway, back to the point. i really have always felt either no gender or like a man. i feel like a man but it's also empty and it feels so empty yet so full at the same time, hence spacegender. then really i just don't wanna exist at all. i wanna watch from the sidelines of everyone's life and watch as it goes on, hence ghostgender.

i really just don't wanna be alive and i just wanna be a ghost and not have to worry about my life or my gender or my sexuality or anything at all and i really just wanna die and be dead and never wake back up, just be a ghost. i just hate my life so fucking bad.

does anyone else think they got a crush on someone fromt the opposite gender & it would be fine at first but then you feel crippling jealousy of how they look or act & try to copy that.. I've noticed I did this with my current crush & I'm trying to make peace with the fact that I can't transition, so how to deal with this? it feels so toxic especially if I get in a relationship sometime I don't want it to feel like I'm just with them because I want to be them

2000 – 2009

2005: Wanting a girl's body.

2005: Wanting to attend school as a girl in a pleated skirt.

2008: Experiencing internal identity as "Rachael" alongside external identity as Matthew.

2008: Feeling internally like a girl.

2010 – 2019

2010: Experiencing a sense of internal split.

2015: Seeing a young girl in mirror reflection.

2015: Wearing girls' school uniforms (experienced without clear awareness).

2016: Feeling that being a girl is not fair for others at home.

2017: Feeling like the only girl at home.

2017: No girls at home to share experiences.

2017: Wanting to be a girl.

2020 – 2029

2021: Feeling others would not believe identity as a girl without external markers.

2021: Wanting a Disney Princess-themed little girl's bedroom and dollhouse.

2024: I'm referred for gender dysphoria.

2025: Wanting to wear school uniform with skirt, sweatshirt and yellow polo.

2026: Feeling others would not believe identity as a girl without makeup.

Note: The years listed represent the period in which each experience or pattern first emerged or became identifiable, not the full duration of that experience.

sometimes i wish that i was girl and could be more whimsical and pretty. im a gay man and so being feminine is already a part of my life but i could never do it like a woman could. and dont get me wrong, i love being a man, i wouldnt want to transition or anything i just wish i was already born a girl. and not all the time either just now and then i think would be nice. being a whimsical free woman is better than most anything a man could be. and ik that being a man comes with a lot of privileges and stuff and im very fortunate but another thing that i can never experience is womanhood. it seems so pure and loving and men dont have anything like that. so yea lol