r/Explainlikeimscared • u/insert_title_here • 4d ago
How do I dance at my wedding?
Hi all!
My husband (26M) and I (26F) legally married in March, but our ceremony is in a couple of weeks. He's not a big fan of the spotlight, so we've elected not to do any "first dances"-- we're gonna be opening the floor to party right after dinner. For this reason, we didn't find it necessary to take dance lessons or anything like that. The thing is, neither of us really dance? I go out drinking with friends sometimes, but not to clubs, and haven't been to many other big gatherings that would necessitate dancing, either. I'm excited about the prospect of dancing, but I have very little experience.
I am likely autistic and am very self conscious about what my body language will be like during the wedding. I've been told in the past by friends (and by people who are decidedly NOT friends) that my body language is odd/goofy/abnormal. I don't want to look foolish by doing a really bad job of letting loose on the dance floor, but I don't want to miss out on the fun due to my fear! Does anyone have any resources (preferably in video format but instructions are good too) for basic party style dancing? Y'know, upbeat, fist pumping, jumping around type stuff. There are a few slow songs in the deck too, but I've been told you can just grab onto your partner and sway in place for that-- I'm mostly concerned about the more energetic music.
Thank you!
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u/two-of-me 4d ago
Honestly, my husband and I didn’t dance at our wedding. We have been together for 15 years and to this day we have never danced. It’s ok not to dance at your wedding especially if it’s not your thing! The people attending your wedding presumably love you both and probably know you don’t want to dance. It’s your day. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do!
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u/insert_title_here 4d ago
That is wonderful to know, thank you! I am excited to dance, I just want to make sure I'm doing it right. That said, I'm not sure how much my husband would get out of it, so I'll make sure to affirm to him that he doesn't have to. :]
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u/breadispain 4d ago
Our dance at our wedding was just hugging and spinning in one direction, then laughing while we decided to spin the other direction. It's your day, do what you want :)
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u/TraceyWoo419 4d ago
You just kind of shift your weight from foot to foot with the beat.
Next step is to move your arms a bit, you can keep them in loose fists up by your waist or chest and then move them back down by your thighs, also to the beat but way less than you're moving your legs. Watch what other people do with their hands.
You can do this face to face with your partner or front to back with him behind you and his hands on your hips.
If you're worried about looking goofy, move less than you think you need to and just focus on keeping a consistent motion to the beat. Also, be careful doing big things like spins and throwing your hands in the air, especially if you're drunk and the dance floor is crowded.
But most of all, have fun! No one is going to care if you look a little silly at your own wedding, they're just gonna be happy you're enjoying yourself!
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u/BeckieSueDalton 4d ago
You can book a lesson or two with a professional dance coach. Sometimes, you can get lucky and a Community will host adult learning classes where you can go for GED help, but they will also host hobby/skill courses, too.
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u/sekhenet 4d ago
You just hold eachother and step around a bit spinning a little. My sister and her husband weeble wobbled like two drunken sailors, it was all ok.
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u/idlers_dream7 4d ago
I searched YouTube for "basic dance lessons for wedding" and there are a ton of good looking ones. Ballroom Feed seems to offer a lot.
Depending on where you live, you might have some good local resources. I live in a pretty big liberal city, and there are a lot of queer and disabled social groups that offer dance lessons. The ones I've gone to (for salsa dancing) were super accommodating to everyone's experience.
FWIW, neither me nor my husband are dancers, so we didn't dance at our wedding. We made a killer playlist, so the event was still lively, and we just spent the whole time walking around and chatting/eating with everyone. We set up yard games, picture booths, photo albums, and other things to get people to engage. It was a lot of fun, and it was also dry, yet we had no shortage of good times.
If you don't wanna dance, don't feel like it's a loss if you decide not to. The time we spent actually chatting and playing with everyone was unforgettable. Whatever you feel reps you best will be perfect!
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u/Parker_Talks 3d ago
There are classes for this, if you really care about actually dancing well! I mean I guess it probably depends on where you live, whether they’re explicitly advertised as available. If you can’t find any advertised, you can always research the type of dance you want to do, and then hire private lessons from a dance teacher to teach you and your partner that type of dance.
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u/inflatablefish 3d ago
Get your bridesmaid to quietly tell all your friends that you're nervous about dancing so they all have to dance extra-badly to make you look good. A couple of drinks in them and you'll be the smoothest person on the dance floor.
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u/Mundane-Emu-1189 3d ago
my friends did a first song instead of a first dance and it was super adorable
it's your wedding, you can do whatever you want
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u/Josef-Mountain-Novel 1d ago
May I also suggest practice dance party in your living room or kitchen? I like to have spontaneous dance parties at any and all hours of the day, as long as there is some music on that I like.
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u/CatCafffffe 4d ago
My friend, it's your wedding. You can have it be exactly the way you want. You don't have to dance at all! Is there someone managing the music? They can open the dance floor. You can dance, or not, or be "goofy" or whatever you want. It's a celebration of your love and your marriage, and it is YOUR day to do and be exactly how you want and are happiest.