My high school best friend got together with my abusive ex of five years, and now they’re having a baby. I genuinely don’t know how to process this.
I don’t even know how to put this into words, which is why I’m posting here. I think I need an outside perspective because the whole situation feels so unbelievable that sometimes I genuinely can’t wrap my head around it.
Some background:
Heidi and I were best friends in high school. We were in and out of each other’s lives over the years, but we shared a lot of history. She struggled with drug use and homelessness, and at one point my family took her in. We were there for each other through some really difficult periods in our lives.
Then there’s Jack. I’ve known him since I was 18, and we started dating when I was 21. We were together for five years.
When Jack and I first got together, I’d recently experienced a sexual assault. My mental health and self-esteem were in a terrible place, and I didn’t really feel like myself. Jack was there for me during that time, and our relationship was genuinely beautiful at the beginning. We were best friends, and I loved him deeply.
Unfortunately, things started becoming abusive around the third year of our relationship.
After we moved in together, arguments about cleaning, cooking and household responsibilities became increasingly difficult. One incident that has always stuck with me was when I had my wisdom teeth removed. I was recovering from surgery and taking very strong painkillers that interacted badly with my other medication.
Four or five days after surgery, Jack asked when dinner would be ready. I asked if he could make it himself, and he responded, “They didn’t do surgery on your arms, did they?”
I was sitting there heavily medicated and recovering from surgery, wondering what the actual fuck was wrong with him.
There were other issues, too. He could be misogynistic and petty, and we had arguments about everything from cleaning to women’s safety. I often felt like I was having to justify my experiences and explain things that I thought should have been basic empathy.
He also struggled with his mental health, was frequently in and out of work, and I often felt responsible for keeping him together. I was working in mental health myself, and at times I felt more like his therapist than his partner.
My family did a lot for him, too. My parents bought him a car and helped pay off his debts, and he lived rent-free in my nan’s house for around three years.
I’m not bringing that up because I think he owed me a relationship in return. I’m explaining how intertwined our lives were and how much my family and I cared about him.
Despite everything, I still loved him. That’s something I’ve struggled with because the relationship was abusive, but he was also my best friend for five years. There were genuinely good times, and I still care about the person he was to me at the beginning.
Eventually, I decided I needed to leave.
I’d been thinking about breaking up with Jack for two or three weeks. I wanted to speak to my parents first so I’d have somewhere safe to go if I needed it.
I was on the phone to one of my best friends discussing the breakup when she asked if I’d spoken to my mum yet. Jack overheard enough of the conversation to realise something was happening.
He started questioning me, and when I said I didn’t want to talk about it, he became increasingly aggressive. Eventually, I blurted out that I couldn’t be with him anymore.
He went from zero to a hundred. He was yelling, saying we loved each other, that we’d been through so much together, and asking how he could do this without me.
I messaged my best friend, who offered to come and get me. I left the house for a while, but when I returned, things were a nightmare. I was genuinely scared.
I’m not saying breakups aren’t painful. Five years is a long time, and I knew it would hurt. But the way he reacted made an already difficult situation frightening.
Even after we broke up, things were messy. We were still seeing each other, I went to his birthday, and I still bought him a present. I had organised a birthday lunch for him at a well-known gay bar in Erskineville. We had so much history that ending the relationship didn’t suddenly erase all the love and attachment.
Now, here’s where Heidi comes into this.
Heidi knew everything.
She knew what was happening throughout my relationship with Jack. She had told me to leave him multiple times. She knew about the abuse and the things I’d been struggling with.
The four of us — me, Jack, Heidi and another friend, Michael — were incredibly close. We’d hang out all the time, go out together, share memes in a group chat and spend so much time together. We were a proper friendship group.
So I’m not shocked that Heidi and Jack knew each other well enough to develop feelings. They had years of history themselves.
What happened next is the part I still can’t get my head around.
Three months after Jack and I broke up, Heidi and Jack moved in together. The explanation was that Heidi needed help with rent, and apparently nothing was happening between them.
Then Heidi came to my grandmother’s funeral.
She was there to support me while I was grieving. I introduced her to my family and friends, and she was there for me during an incredibly vulnerable time.
Two days later, I found out from THREE different people that Heidi and Jack were together.
Neither of them told me.
There was no conversation. No explanation. No acknowledgment of our history. I found out through other people that my former best friend and my ex of five years were now in a relationship.
I was devastated.
The friendship between Heidi and me completely fell apart. We eventually had a massive argument, and I regret going over to their place and banging on her door demanding answers. It wasn’t the best way to handle the situation, and I can acknowledge that.
But I was grieving my grandmother and trying to process the loss of two people who had been incredibly important to me. I was desperate to understand what was happening.
They called my dad, and they were threatening to call the police. After that, whatever was left of the friendship was pretty much gone.
And now, the final plot twist: they’re having a baby.
I found out by looking at Heidi’s Instagram on someone else’s phone because I’m blocked everywhere. There it was: a baby announcement, with their child expected in 2027.
I didn’t hear it from them. I discovered it myself.
My former best friend and my abusive ex are starting a family together.
I genuinely don’t have words for how surreal that feels.
I know they have every right to move on with their lives. I’m not saying I get to decide who they date or what their future looks like. But I can’t pretend the way everything happened didn’t hurt me.
Heidi wasn’t just some girl who happened to date my ex. She was my best friend. My family took her in when she was struggling. She knew what I’d been through with Jack, and she was someone I trusted with some of the most vulnerable parts of my life.
Jack wasn’t just some random ex, either. He was my partner for five years, my best friend, and someone I genuinely thought I’d build a life with at one point.
And now they’re building a life together.
The thing is, I still love and miss parts of both of them. I miss the friendship, the good memories, the inside jokes and the version of our lives where we were all close. I can recognise that my relationship with Jack was abusive and still grieve what I thought we had. I can miss Heidi while also knowing that my trust in her has been shattered.
I think that’s what makes this so difficult. I’m not just angry. I’m heartbroken, betrayed, confused and grieving something I don’t think I’ll ever get back.
I keep asking myself why I deserved any of this. I tried to be a good friend to Heidi. I tried to be a supportive partner to Jack. I loved these people, and I showed up for them.
I’m not claiming I handled every part of this perfectly, but I don’t understand why the situation had to unfold this way, with so little honesty or consideration for the history we shared.
Part of me feels like I should be over it by now. Another part of me can’t believe that two people who were once so central to my life are now starting a family together without me.
I don’t want to control their lives, and I don’t want to spend the rest of mine being angry. But I also don’t want to convince myself that what happened was okay just so I can move on.
Has anyone else experienced something like this? How do you reconcile loving and missing people who have deeply betrayed your trust? How do you make peace with the fact that people who once felt like family are now building a life together that you have no part in?
Because right now, I genuinely don’t know how to make sense of any of it.

I broke up with my boyfriend cause I found out he was doing hard drugs and that was very clearly stated hard boundary for me. If he ever did drugs I would walk, and I did. 7 days later he overdosed and died. I still very much loved him and I regret so many things but feel self aware that there was nothing I could’ve done. Really just sucks cause I still cared for him deeply.

I’ve had not one, but TWO different exes openly vocalize that they are no longer attracted to me when I gained between 5-10 lbs during the course of our relationship. I’ve been open with them about struggling with an ED and body dysmorphia. Has anyone else had this struggle?

When I stated that what they said was ridiculously hurtful, my most recent ex stated that it was just his truth and that he had the right to lose attraction to me. Which is true, but he wouldn’t apologize for saying something that he knew would hurt me until after he told his friends and they said that it was a hurtful thing to say.

It’s making it very clear to me that the people I have been dating are solely interested in me for my physical appearance rather than who I am on the inside. This is frustrating and I am now scared to open myself up to dating again because now I am hyper aware that my partners primarily value my physical appearance. It’s also causing my ED symptoms to come back after years of hard work getting rid of it.

For reference, I’m a female, 5’9” who wears a size 2-4 (or a Small). So even with an extra 5-10 lbs, I’m still at most a size Medium or 4-6. I know that I have a certain amount of privilege by being straight sized, so this is in no way a flex - I am just trying to share how ridiculous and upsetting this is.

Tl:dr at end So to preface this I don’t normally fall for people and after getting out of a 3 year relationship and now having a 2 year old I got back into dating. I met this guy on tinder. Everything was perfect, and Im not saying it as in I missed the red flags but it honestly felt and looked perfect. We matched with each other at the same time and immediately hit it off had an hour long conversation. I got his snap and we talked all day. The next day I go to his house (with my best friend because I dont want to be murdered). And it all goes amazingly, we all talk and hang out. Things continue like this for weeks. We’d hang out (sometimes alone, sometimes with my bestfriend, and sometimes he’d invite me to come hang out at his job when they were slow and we’d hang at his place after work). He works as a bartender in a casino close by and it was always fun chatting woth his coworkers and the regulars. He never met my son because Im super over protective and wanted to be with him for a while before introducing them. Well, I get a call while Im at work and I answer because its my bf. Hes freaking out and super upset because his mom just went to the hospital so a friend is driving him to his parents (he cant go to the hospital because of covid restrictions) so he can dogsit because no one knows how long they’ll be there. She was projectile vomiting blood so hard she broke 3 ribs. (They still dont know why). The next day I come to work and one of my coworkers that I had known for years and was once a friend starts talking. We’re having civil conversation and chatting when they look at me and says “so I matched with this guy on tinder and He’s really cute and has a big dick” my response is “oh?” You know girl talk for tell me more I ask what he looks like and she pulls up his bitmoji because she doesnt have a picture without his dick in it Low and behold its my bf. He was texting her while he was drunk (he got drunk while his mom was at the hospital) and was carrying the conversation with her and I simultaneously. This is 2 hours before my birthday and I was so hurt. So I text him asking if Im still coming over after work. No response… I give it a couple hours and text him that we need to talk when I come over I immediately get a phone call asking whats up. So I calmly say that I dont want to talk about it right now that we can talk when I come over or that we can call on my break or just afterwork. He continues pushing for answers. “Are you sad? “No “Are you mad “You could say that “What happened?” “I dunno,- what happened hun? “Are you mad at your ex?” “Surprisingly no” “Are you mad at your bestie?” “Nope” “Did your mom call or something?” “I’d actually be happy to talk to my mother rn” “Well are you mad at me?” “You could say that” “What did I do” “I dont know what did you do?” “I dont know and Im not gonna sit there and play this guessing game with you” “Cool, guess you’ll just go play more games on tinder behind my back” I end the call and look at the time to see it’s officially my birthday. I get a text saying that he’s gonna go hang with one of his friends and that he’ll text me and we can find a time to hang when Im not as mad. About a week later I go see him at work and my bestie comes to his place once hes off. She had some questions she wanted to ask him he answered in a way that things just went back to normal for us (I really did((do?)) love this guy) for the next 2 weeks life is normal and we spend every moment we have in common spare time together. And then he starts ignoring me, he doesnt text back doesnt open my snaps nothing. I wasnt blowing up his phone either we had a streak so a daily picture on snap and a couple texts about work/life stuff. The last message I sent him was on a Tuesday almost Wednesday and by friday he had blocked me and my bestfriend. I texted a friend and got her to add him (creepy ik) he made a new snap and I wanted nothing to do with it, tbh I just dont think I could handle being ignored or blocked again. My bestfriend gets word of this and uses it to her advantage, she changes her snap name&username, then her bitmoji and adds him. They talk on and off for a couple days and then he asks if its her, she relents and admits it they talk some more as friends and she gets him to tell her why he blocked us and just disappeared. He says he was losing feelings for me and had started to like her instead, she tells him cool and that he didnt need to block us he couldve just been an adult and talked to me about it. He says he didnt want the drama associated with it and that hes done. blocks her on the new snap… so any advice? Tl:Dr my ex cheated on me with one friend and then when we worked things out he ghosted and then admitted to having a crush on my bestfriend

For the past couple of months after I ended things with my ex I have been working on myself, trying to move on, and trying to become independent and happy single. My ex would check up on me from time to time and I took it as him missing me and I felt anger and disgust towards it. We stayed on good terms until I initiated an apology and then we literally ended up sexting over the phone. I realized part of me still loved him and I could feel myself crushing all over again. We started texted more and more and I felt myself falling harder and harder so I said this to him and he told me not to so I got upset and told him to go away. This happened a few times and it seemed like when I wouldn’t be able to take anymore he wouldn’t stop. I ended up unadding him and talking shit because I was just so frustrated that I let him in so easily. Why would he confuse me if he didn’t want me? Time went on I ended up texting him I’m sorry because I saw him at the dance and I wanted to fix everything. Ever since we were on good terms but was really hardcore crushing again. I started doing track again and he’s on the team and we were flirting most of the time. I told him I was going to pick him up and I wasn’t expecting him to tell me that he just wanted to be friends. I told him I couldn’t because I still loved him and he said I still love you too. I was so confused and now I’m just going to assume that he was lying because it doesn’t make any sense to me. How could he love me if he told me that he hung out with the girl he told me not to worry about in our last relationship? I have felt broken, worthless, and empty ever since. I didn’t want to let go because part of me believed that the love was still there because he constantly checked up on me, told friends that he missed me, and told me he gets frustrated when he sees me with other ppl, but I know that I shouldn’t anymore. The whole car ride he reminded me of times I wasn’t good to him in the relationship and I have intense guilt that makes me want to disappear. He did things too but I have forgiven him for everything and I have forgotten the past. After he told me about the girl I just drove him to his house in silence. He just left and said goodbye. I feel like I fucked everything up and that I don’t deserve to live. I feel like a terrible person and that I won’t love ever again. How do I move passed this? How do I let go? How do I recover?

I hear my exes voice in their fav artists Ex: drake sounds like one & kevin parker from tame impala loll

Anyone else?

hey, haven’t posted in quite a bit on reddit lol. just felt the need to i guess rant in a space where it’s accepted. about seven months ago i broke up with my ex and it was a very short-lived relationship but it meant a lot to me being it was my first. he was my first for almost everything actually. anyway shortly afterwards i regretted breaking up with him deeply (while not realizing at the time that it was more than the right thing to do) and did not hesitate in trying to get him back.

i made the most romantic gesture possible, i sent him a heartfelt letter in the mail and a few days later texted him too but to no avail. he never blocked me but i never got a response from him ever. i was left with so much chagrin, oh and also i was having a pregnancy scare and never heard a word from him during that time so that obviously hurt extra and all i wanted was to be able to talk to him.

unfortunately i’m the type of person who can’t mind their own business when they’re in that much pain so one day about two months after the fact, for whatever reason i go lurking in his likes on his twitter profile and i see that someone who used to be his ex was now posting him. i knew she existed because me and him followed each other on instagram for years (we met on instagram) but i had never known how long they were together or how long before me they had broken up. (it seems they were together for about a year and a half and he got in a relationship with me only maybe 2-3 months after their breakup.) while we were still together i do remember searching her handle bc like i said i did know of her existence but nothing came up literally anywhere. and now all of a sudden out of the blue she’s back on the face of the earth and she was with the guy i adored. the guy i tried to get back but i guess she beat me to it.

that being said i was now able to see all their previous interactions. i saw some old tweets that made me physically sick because of raunchy mentions of intimacy and whatnot. i’ve never been so hurt like i felt like i had been punched in the gut repeatedly.

although it’s been a while i just cannot seem to shake these feelings of worthlessness, self deprecation, comparing myself to his girlfriend, and feeling like i’m truly unloveable. i have no idea if this girl even knew if he had a rebound in the time they weren’t together, i have no idea if i was cheated on, etc. it’s like i might as well not have existed to him at all. there’s something inside of me that wants to ruin their relationship somehow because knowing he’s so happy after putting me in so much misery is the most horrifying thing. i miss the person i was before him. is revenge even an option here? i don’t know what i’m saying, that’s immature. sometimes these thoughts go through my head to text one of them from a fake account or fake number but wtf is the point of that, what would i even say or do. i just want to feel some sort of justice but what it really is is that i don’t know how to get over anything it seems.

note he was older than me, i was 18 and he was 22 and i wish i could have seen he was using me. he made me feel so special and i thought for once there was going to be a man in my life who didn’t hurt me or let me down and now i feel even more like i can trust no one at all.

thank u for reading if you got this far ❤️ wishing you all the best in ur endeavors

So I was with this guy for roughly four years. He was quite the handful in that he was very manipulative, narcissistic, and was always constantly breaking up and getting back together with me. Around two years ago, I finally decided to step away. Left his home after stopping by to visit him, him telling me he was talking to someone else, and never looked back. In tears and heart broken, but never looked back & it was essentially the last time I ever saw him. Fast forward several months later, my friend tells me he has a new gf. I was in a relationship myself by then, but I was curious. I had two accounts, my main and my art account. Turns out, he blocked my art acc??? But never blocked my main one??? I also later found out his new gf had blocked both of my accounts (which was strange since how’d she find them at all?). Anyway, two years later, while on my art acc, i saw his comment on someone’s acc and when I clicked it, i realized he had unblocked me. I think it’s worth mentioning that I had done art on one of his personal belongings (his jacket) and had posted the photo. So maybe that’s why he blocked me? Because he didn’t want to be reminded of it? I guess my question is why block my art account and not both? And why unblock it instead of just leaving that it that way? Idk, it’s tripping me out.

My boyfriend and I had been dating for about a year. Throughout the relationship I had been told that I was everything he wished for and more. I was introduced to parent, siblings, nieces, grandparents, friends. I went to every single family event because he wanted me to go. He wanted to meet all of my family, all my friends. Just last week he was planning on taking me on vacation. Then a couple of days ago, after some days of fighting, I asked if he wanted to break up with me, and he said yes.

We have gone through periods of fighting as every couple does. The most recent was in the fall (September) in which he admitted to me he was scared about how much I was in love with him and how he wasn’t sure if he thought I was the one as confidently as I did. This came after weeks of fighting because we were adjusting to living together due to my financial needs. However, after talking it out, he said he knew that wasn’t true and he was just worked up and nervous.

So flash back to current timeline. I suggested we hash it out like we did in the fall. Because after that fight, everything was perfect. We fell back to being the flawless, happy couple. However, when I was able to move back out again due to me being financially stable again, the fighting began again. I was insisting to him to not break up yet, and that were just getting adjusted to living apart after previously seeing eachother 24/7. I said it was just like what happened in the fall, and we would get over it again and work it out. That’s when my boyfriend told me that he never got over his feelings from the fall. He was sobbing on his knees telling me how much he loved me and he wasn’t 100% sure that he knows I wasn’t the one, but he has a feeling that the relationship was only going to get worse. I begged him to reconsider and that there’s no reason for him to know yet, since we are a young couple in college with the whole future ahead of us. My rational was that he spent months telling me how in love he was with me and making me feel like a permanent part of my life, and he was giving that all up for a gut feeling that he wasn’t even totally 100% sure of. But he was insistent and I had to leave him.

Ever since I left, he has completely cut me off. He hasn’t reached out once this past week and it is absolutely killing me. How could he lie for so long and make me feel like this was a long term thing, only for him to feel the complete opposite the whole time? How can he tell me he loves me and misses me the day before our breakup, and then treat me like a stranger as soon as it’s over? I’m so hurt, and I’m trying not to sound like a whiny ex girlfriend, but when he said forever, I really believed him. What do I do? This is very recent btw (only 4 days ago)

Hi everyone,

I am a writer and journalist and I've just started a weekly newsletter about going through a breakup during these weird and difficult times. It's called Surviving a Breakup During the Apocalypse and you can subscribe here. First post goes live tomorrow morning.

I started this newsletter because I went through a breakup right at the start of the pandemic and navigating my new life while the world seemed to be ending felt nearly impossible. While I'm not a counselor or mental health professional, I hope my words and lived experience can help someone else.

Thanks so much, and I wish you all comfort and healing.

I was dating this guy on and off for 2 years. He was very controlling, had to know everything I was doing and everyone I was talking too. I broke up with him at the end of December because I couldn’t handle it anymore. I brought up being done, and he tried to crash the car while I was in it with him. Then he brought out a knife after we got back to his house and he threatened damage to my car, then put the knife to his throat and wrist. After weeks of endless begging, constant harassment, he was living down the road from me again at college. We go to the same college so I see him often still.

He currently has all of my plants, that I paid for myself, and I know it seems small but to me it matters. I keep asking for my plants back so I can finally be done with him, but he refuses to give them back. He is withholding them from me cause he knows it matters to me, and he just wants something to hold over my head, and something to keep us communicating.

2 weeks ago, I was at a bar downtown and he was there with some of his friends that I’m also close with. I offered him a ride home to just be a nice person cause I knew there were literally none out and he wouldn’t have gotten home, and would have had to walk. He refused my offer, then called me 20 min later saying he was walking home in the freezing cold and needed a ride home. I came and picked him up with his friend and my roommate. He was dropped off at his house, and I went back to mine. Then he stormed into my house, drunk, and starting going off. Calling me a bitch, saying I don’t care that he wants to kill himself and that I’m a terrible person. All in front of my roommate and his friend. Then after I told him he needed to stop and go home he threatened my dog. Said “you might wanna keep an eye out for that dog that you love so much.” I had no idea what to do at that point and was in shock.

To this day he keeps threatening the idea of hurting my dog, or hurting himself and it being my fault. Said he wants to put a burden on me and feel as bad as he does. Honestly at this point I don’t know what to do or how to go about getting my stuff back, let alone keep my dog safe. I have blocked him multiple times but he always finds a way to get ahold of me. Just wondering what my options are

We broke up because he supposedly needed time to heal after his grandpa got diagnosed with an incurable illness. But it turns out he had already come to terms with that and the real reason was his ex kept texting then ghosting him and he wasn’t over her.

I was fucking devastated because he strung me along for months where we still continued doing couple like things while he “healed”.

Why the fuck am I still talking to this guy? And upon moving to his new place a year ago he has nobody to turn to, and keeps asking my family for favors like changing his car oil, hemming his pants, ect.

Sure they obliged when were dating but why does he think it’s ok to keep asking for that now?? Why am I entertaining him? I’m an idiot. Just because he was my first boyfriend and didn’t treat me terribly until the end.

Being friends with him is draining. Luckily we haven’t seen eachother for awhile, but everytime I tell him it’s better if we go no contact, he still wants me around.

I understand it’s prob partially because he likes having my family help him with stuff since his lives in another state, but that’s over. They all resent him as much as I do.

But he also swears he values me as a friend. And he always tells me about his BPD and suicidal tendencies and I’m afraid if I go ghost I’ll have to live with the weight of wondering if he’s okay.

Yes i hate his guts but of course I still care about him unfortunately.

I broke up with my ex about 2 weeks ago and I’m really struggling to piece myself back together. I’m always going back and forth in my head worrying if I made a mistake, because I really really loved him and I still do. We had a complicated relationship and all of my friends and family hated him. I’m 20 but I’ve been with him since I was 17 and I really depended on this boy. during the last few days we were struggling a lot but he gave me hope bc he always knew just what to say… and then a few days passed and it was like he couldn’t have cared less if I dropped dead. i was confused and hurt but I told him I wasn’t going to beg for his attention, and that if he couldn’t put in effort I was gonna leave him. he basically told me to fuck off but then reluctantly agreed to try. well his words didn’t match his actions and when I said I was leaving him, instead of telling me he wanted me and that he cared, he called me extremely nasty things and tried to break me down like he was expecting me to stay. now I’m hearing that he’s already sexting other girls and I can’t even eat or sleep. is there any way to get through this?

I broke up with my ex about 2 weeks ago and I’m really struggling to piece myself back together. I’m always going back and forth in my head worrying if I made a mistake, because I really really loved him and I still do. We had a complicated relationship and all of my friends and family hated him. I’m 20 but I’ve been with him since I was 17 and I really depended on this boy. during the last few days we were struggling a lot but he gave me hope bc he always knew just what to say… and then a few days passed and it was like he couldn’t have cared less if I dropped dead. i was confused and hurt but I told him I wasn’t going to beg for his attention, and that if he couldn’t put in effort I was gonna leave him. he basically told me to fuck off but then reluctantly agreed to try. well his words didn’t match his actions and when I said I was leaving him, instead of telling me he wanted me and that he cared, he called me extremely nasty things and tried to break me down like he was expecting me to stay. now I’m hearing that he’s already sexting other girls and I can’t even eat or sleep. is there any way to get through this?

I guess its because im still processing my breakup but i was thinking more about it. Not obsessing mind but taking time to think more on it and i remembered his breakup text to me and him blaming me. BLAMING ME for us breaking up when hes the clingy dude. now toward the end i was a bit of a dick, i didnt mean to be but i also didnt have time to stop and think why was he irritating me so much.

Neither one of us has ever gotten physical, i generally dont wanna hit people when im angry, Im an adult, i control myself. I do on occasion slam doors but its a very rare occurrence.

With that ramble out of the way, is that a thing? Like is that part of getting over a long term relationship? I wont ever act on it and I told him to stay out of my face because I am ALL salt. And I do have a temper, dormant though it is 99 percent of the time.

I dunno, i dont even know why im asking lol. Curiosity I guess.

Welp if you read this thank you by the time I post this Ill be logging into better help lol.

Be safe Peeps <3

And remember, your hearts will heal as well <3

Talked to my therapist, shes da bomb.

Therapys is too. And so are you guys, thank you for reading any amount of this if at all. <3

I (30M) am the ex boyfriend, so I thought it would be interesting to get input from these parts of reddit. I will preface this with saying that my question is currently hypothetical, as it hasn't happened yet.

My ex (29F) is turning 30 this year. A few months after the breakup of our 10 year relationship she was already in another relationship with another guy who had very recently broken up with his gf too. Long story.

We share a small tight group of friends and it honestly seems like about half of them only tolerate the new bf. My question is, if I were invited to celebrate her 30th, should I go?

Personally I'm very much on the fence, but I am leaning quite a bit towards 'NO!'. The invite would likely come from a place of feeling obligated or not to look bad in front of the other if she and him even do invite me. If I was invited I have a feeling a lot of the friends would say "Just come. What's the worst that could really happen?"

TL;DR: If my (30M) ex (29F) and her new bf invite me to celebrate her 30th, do you think it would be a sincere invitation and should I even be considering going? We share a small tight circle of friends.