Hello and Welcome!

If you are going to attempt to type me, please make sure to thoroughly read. I will give some points with links to extensive docs after. Feel free to ask any questions and please explain why you came to your conclusion.
NOTE: I have diagnosed BPD, MDD, and anxiety (suspected autism by my providers)

answers to questions

IN SHORT:
- i am most characterized by input in active discussions, sharing opinions (logical or feelings), explaining, correcting or informing others, coming up with solutions, advising, understanding
- i excel in socratic seminars and presentations 
- i enjoy helping others understand things
- i am easily irritated by people who speak slowly, quietly, and with lots of filler words “um” “uh”
- i constantly over-explain and have a lot to say. my responses in text usually result in lengthy paragraphs over simple things
- i have intense emotions and are easily controlled by them
- i have intense attachment and possessiveness 
- i commonly engage in destructive behaviors interpersonally and have done and threatened to do crazy things as a means for reassurance 
- i assume the worst always, especially in relationships and will constantly claim that im hurt, unloved, uncared about, hated secretly
- will often try to force my partner into saying “how they really feel” and i experience lots of skepticism
- i can easily understand meanings, seeing how a situation will manifest, and i am passionate about knowing things thoroughly and cause and effect.
- anxiety about making choices and i constantly over-analyze and look into alternatives/optimal options 
- i care about things making factual, logical sense. i try to always be realistic and never optimistic.
- want things done in the best way if i am doing something.
- i lay in my bed all day, anything i do is in my bed. i may read, talk, research, scroll (primarily), listen to music and daydream (primarily), but its all in my bed
- my boyfriend says i claim to hate everything or say everything is disgusting
- conserving time and energy, outputting thoughts and feelings.
- cannot sit with conflict and must resolve it immediately. i care a lot about eliminating misunderstandings and getting points across (resolutions).
- i care less about the result and more about if the process makes sense
- i fear the future a lot and try to avoid mistakes
- i am silently competitive
- i wish for a lot of things without any effort to attain them
- need mental stimulation and love sharing ideas and being asked questions, have been told id make a good professor (i speak clearly as well)
- get bored easily and need a lot of new things
- hard to satisfy
- when i think about things i must write about it or talk to others about it, im itching to get it out somehow
- have most fun in groups and seeing other’s reactions to me
- chill with doing what others want in an environmental sense (e.g. choosing the restaurant or what to do/where to go) but stubborn in values
- wants to know the secrets of everyone and can often get others to open up to me after a short amount of time. i promote openness
- its hard for me to keep my feelings to myself and i feel the need to share them
- highly squeamish and indolent yet highly stingy, possessive, and comfort-seeking
- love being praised for my skills and receiving attention
- highly interested in experimentation and how the mind works
- enjoy making and sharing art and expression
- enjoy making and sharing logical chains of reason
- highly interested in how im perceived and other’s opinions on me (for no particular reason, just wanting to know)
- i adore being able to talk about myself
- often compare myself to others and fear being inferior (and frequently think i am). i tend to be very self-loathing
- enjoys positions of administration; i like to direct others in the best course of action because i am cautious of others doing it in the best way.
- my thoughts are like pulling string; ill have one thing to say and then suddenly another and another and i keep adding on to things
- doesn’t like to be seen crying or in any vulnerable state but wants to be recognized subtly. hates being non presentable 
- “what if this?” “how does this compare to this?” “are there better alternatives?”
- prefers discovery, mystery, novelty, variety, over routine and traditionalism
- “what is the proof?” “explain to me how/why”
- i have a lot of distrust and negativity towards life itself
- bossy in group projects (and dislike them) because i care about things being done in the way that i think is right/best in order to yield the best result. i am cautious and doubtful of other’s intentions 
- i am easily embarrassed and fear rejection/criticism with self expression but become passionate when arguing
- lots of comparison and self-loathing
- im very bored when others talk yet wanting others to be interested in what i say
- i desire physical care like massages, treatments, affection given by others yet i dislike doing it to others
- i am very sensitive to being tickled, sounds, smells, and physical stimuli in general and am easily irritated by it
- easily bothered and particular about my space, the tiny light from a printer or monitor, position of items, how cold it is, position of my pillows, etc
- i hate cleaning and tidying up, still. i postpone chores and basic responsibilities up till months. i have multiple laundry baskets piled up, for example
- always trying to rest and i feel constantly tired; i have a lack of vitality and lots of lethargy 
- i easily lose focus and get distracted, talking to others or daydreaming or spacing out
- i enjoy researching and documenting about mental disorders, medications, neuroscience, biology, experiment findings
- i have a strong research instinct in general
- i find new things to think about or question even after reaching a conclusion 
- i have been described by a multitude of people as stubborn and withholding 
- growing up i have been overly blunt and strict about others having standards, i once told a friend being passionate about colors(art) was stupid and would get them nowhere in life, i would excuse this with saying i was just being realistic (as i often did)
- i have experienced a traumatic childhood and feel very dull with the world, my own problems cause me feeling easily hopeless and in a state of despair
- it is difficult for me to start and finish tasks. i have failed classes because of how bad i procrastinate before
- i experience a lot of forgetfulness and issues dealing with time, i am more often late than not
- i try to always be impartial and fair in judgement and i believe in an eye for an eye
- i feel intense anxiety when im caught doing something bad, sneaking past rules for example 
- i have an urge to always correct and inform others and can be very “um actually”
- incorrect terminology irritates me
- i enjoy when others open up to me and come to me for advice 
- when stressed i am unable to take my mind off of it

IRL FRIEND DESCRIBES ME AS: not afraid to talk about dark things, attentive to how others feel, saying what i think, taking the path of least resistance subconsciously, lazy, having a lot of potential, very social and always talking to someone, admirable, expressive, considerate, great explainer, verbose, jocular, either hyper or nonchalant 
BOYFRIEND DESCRIBES ME AS: lazy, negative and prone to worry, easily disgusted, very sensitive and hysterical, over-sharer, extraverted, rude and pretentious to others, stressed about flaws, compares myself to others, cares what others think, mental and not physical/sexual, attention-seeking, emotionally intense, forgetful, hateful, confrontational 
TEACHER(S) DESCRIBES ME AS: very engaged, thoughtful, talkative, interacting with others, perfection in work, procrastinating, hard to start work, forgetful, well-informed, lazy, anxious, creative and artistic, a “yapper”
FAMILY DESCRIBES ME AS: closed-off, mature, well spoken, smart, forgetful, lazy, depressed, defiant, random, careless, quiet, loner

FOR A LOT OF INFORMATION read the first link (even if it is made for psychosophy, it is highly detailed and extensive on myself)
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NPrl-7_xlWEdkLyoH8Y15_cZJyovh0-4vL73y9DdQCs/edit?usp=drivesdk 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/16kLykOU758RNtJiA7B8W4HmB5cyQQv6z8urtVa8YkrY/edit?usp=drivesdk 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/12PTeMgsfNHSOrApyUQGx4Qb1wRfr9SNlS5fCpVvgK7s/edit?usp=drivesdk 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NbL1AVcUEYhBZoaDZCgXrTez1Nwnna4qeihkvnCDqfY/edit?usp=drivesdk 

I'm sx468, but my friends often say I'm too "e7" to fully fit sx4. I know sx4s CAN be cheerful and chatty (as per said in the books), but I do relate to e7 the same way I do for e4 in general. how do I tell the difference?

• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.

I am 15. I tell people I'm a girl, but I'm actually agender. You can perceive me as a girl, because that will make you like me more. At least that's what I've found. I don't have a description of myself because I try to have as shallow a personality as possible so I'm as palatable as possible to as many people as possible, and the only place I'm honest about myself is the internet and even then everything I say feels like a lie and no matter who I pretend to be I feel like a fraud. In short, I am completely empty inside. Interpret me as you wish.

• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?

I am DIAGNOSED (CIRCLING DIAGNOSED 30 TIMES SO I DON'T HAVE LOSERS IN MY REPLIES GOING "erm! Actually I have 700 PhDs in Redditology and I don't know you whatsoever but I know you better than your psychiatrists who diagnosed you with the shit so fuck you you're too young to have that. SLUR SLUR SLUR") autistic, DID, C-PTSD (should be a given with the DID but I thought I should mention it anyway) and bipolar II.

• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?

My upbringing was hell on earth. Okay, that was an exaggeration. My mum has BPD (and god knows what else) and my dad is a regular dude. My parents split up when I was very young, so I would have time split between mum and dad. My dad was a regular dude. As I said. Mum was a mentally unstable alcoholic mess who I never felt safe around, then she got a partner who I felt equally as unsafe around and they would scream at each other through the night, fun times. I was also psychologically tortured. Self-explanatory and also not fun to think about so I'm leaving it at that. I was also bullied at school, which also is related to the whole torture ordeal.

• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?

I don't have a job, but if I had one I'd probably want to quit and go to sleep.

• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?

Exhausted because that's not enough alone time. Give me a month then we'll talk.

• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?

I like sleeping. I don't like any sports except for ice skating (not figure skating just ice skating). I don't enjoy any other activities.

• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?

I'm curious, but I don't tend to have ideas. I'm not a creative person. I stick to what feasibly is rather than what could be because I'm not crazy.

• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?

Don't.

• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?

Only with bass. Everything else I have two left everything.

• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.

I like music. I make music and I listen to music and I write lyrics. I'm very artistic. It's one of the only things I enjoy.

• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?

I forgot the past, the present is chill, the future freaks me out and I hate it. I don't know what is meant by "dealing with them".

• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?

I do it because they'll hate me if I don't.

• Do you need logical consistency in your life?

Yes.

• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?

Very.

• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?

I can't control others cause that's bad.

• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?

I like playing bass because it's fun.

• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?

That's a lot of questions. I'm bad at processing sounds and words so I prefer to learn visually than audibly. I only like classes involving memorisation and logic.

• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?

I'm okay at it.

• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?

Be good.

• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?

Being bad. And vomit. I don't know why.

• What do the "highs" in your life look like?

Hypomania. Send tweet.

• What do the "lows" in your life look like?

This -> 🌫️

• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?

Completely detached from physical reality. I'm sort of aware of logical reality. But most of the time I'm stuck in a state that isn't quite awake or asleep.

• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?

Bass. Bugs. Plants. Space. Cats. Gravity Falls.

• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?

Trick question. I don't make important decisions, I make everyone else make them because I don't trust myself to stick to one thing I want. I have a tendency to rapidly swing between preferences and emotions, I'm not exactly the most reliable.

• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?

Depends on the intensity. A small feeling I won't process at all until later on when I'm thinking about it and I'm like "huh, so that's what that was". Nevermind. Same goes for big feelings. Emotions aren't that important in my life though.

• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?

Doesn't everyone?

• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?

I never ever break rules. That's a sure fire way to get everyone wanting you dead. And also rules are in place for a reason. That is, for my own personal comfort. Whether or not anyone else follows a rule I don't care. They're just for me.

I need an English website to send someone a text about their types so we can make sure that I typed them correctly. I know good ones in my native language but I can't use them with my international friends. The ones i found were not good enough or they were too detailed

hello everyone I’ve been struggling with finding out my core type, I’ve tried to type myself In the past but I just haven’t found my core type.

I am introverted and tend to be very shy and awkward around people, that being said I do love making friends and I’d much rather be spending time with other people then being alone. I am so awkward when I get stressed out I simply don’t think and just act, I have a very hard time remembering things as well and I typically have to write things down

I am a very people oriented person while still needing my space, my friends/loved ones mean a lot to me though I often have a hard time expressing it. i can do psychical/emotional affection on a surface level , saying I love you back, being there for them no matter what, telling them how much I appreciate them. things like that, but it can be hard for me to do those things first, I only say I love you after they say it first and I’m much more of a reciprocator then the starter of it. I also just need my alone time a lot. I can appreciate my friends but I can get pretty socially drained fast and have a bad habit of ignoring people. I am very protective over my friends/loved ones. And I’m quick to act on it, if a friend tells me something someone did that upset/hurt them I’m already thinking of solutions and I will get personally upset on their behalf. I feel a need to be closer to everyone I meet and I feel the need to be their “favorite person” almost. I want others to depend and rely on me

I think good traits I have are being very understanding, I’m able to give people the benefit of the doubt, I’ve had people tell me I’m “very tolerant” of rude/unkind people and tend to be a doormat in some cases and I do think there are times were I do give people a second chance when they probably didn’t deserve it. I also think I’m a good listener and friend. I’m always there for others and I’m really happy to be able too, when people tell me how important I am to them it does make me genuinely happy.

I’m a very passionate person when it comes to my hobbies and it gives me some pride in being very educated and intelligent when it comes to certain things/things I love. I try to be educated in general. I am not hard working academically at all but when it comes to something I love I will learn everything and anything about it. I am a a massive cinema lover

at my core I do crave strong emotional bonds with my family/loved ones but I can be very avoidant. I have very high standards for partners and I’m aware that people are still people and nobody will truly fit these expectations, I tend to expect them to know what I want and have very bad jealously issues. I’m also aware to have a truly strong bond I would need to open up and be vulnerable which I dislike. Even in long term relationships I rarely talk about my deep desires, troubles, and problems, I dislike vulnerability when it comes from myself but I’m very honored when others trust me enough to be vulnerable with me. I would say I’m a very loyal person.

along with vulnerability I’m overall just a very very emotional person especially when it comes to my significant other and I dislike being that way, i think some negative traits i have are, I change my mood quickly and overall have pretty bad jealously issues that mainly stem from stress about not being special enough/not being able to be loved/being worthless. Though I will say even when I’m upset II’m able to logically pick apart why I’m feeling the way I am, if I deem it “reasonable” or if I invalidate the upset. I also tend to mirror people a lot, I over act friendly/energetic and also tend to act the same way they act towards me. No too sure why, it’s something I’ve been doing for a long time. I also tend to lie, I fake sickness/illness so people feel sympathetic for me. And I’m very competitive, I wasn’t in school but if I get someone into an interest of mine/a game and they’re better/more knowledgeable of it then me I get extremely jealous and feel like I need to show my worth

I honestly just have a hard time being vulnerable with others. it both makes me happy and fills me with dread when I know someone’s likes/has a crush on me. it makes me feel validated in being someone truly special and lovable, it makes me feel like my worth is there but also the thought of having to be emotionally vulnerable with this person scares me, along with getting attached, I can be pretty overbearing and I also crave being independent .

I think my biggest flaw is being Unable to see the good in what I create. I’m extremely self critical and I just pressure myself to be “perfect” in some ways. Because that’s how I want others to see me. I also have a problem with letting people walk over me at times, specifically my loved ones. If I have a deep bond with someone then I’m more likely to let them, with less close people and friends I would say I’m better with standing up for myself and such. I have very good control of my emotions in the sense of what I actually say to others.

My main passion and drive comes from my love of things as mentioned, I’m very passionate about the things I like and I’m very prideful in some ways about it. I really do love Learning and being educated on the topics of my choice, and I like when others know my passions. I tend to have a hard time making friends if they don’t share the same love of my interests

I care a lot about how others perceive me. I want others to see me as someone who is intelligent and wise, a kind hearted and genuine person who is always willing to listen. I want to appear educated and like if they ask me a question about politics / honestly anything I would be able to help and give them a very educated and respectful answer. I do care about my looks but I wouldn’t say I would change who I was/what I looked like for others.

My biggest fear I would say is falling behind, I don’t really care about the majority or “falling behind” as in not being like everyone else. It’s more so, when I was in school while everyone else was getting jobs and doing well I was just. Doing nothing and it tore me up inside,I wanted to be something and do well too, it made me feel like a burden and like I was wasting away when not doing anything and made me feel really guilty even though I knew I’m a pretty lazy person who would probably get bored and stop. i just felt like I was missing out even on things I knew I wouldn’t like(getting a job ect) I didn’t do well in school and it’s something I regret at times, I’m a pretty lazy person when it comes to things I’m not very keen/interested in. If I was interested in it i could finish a 1000 piece puzzle but then ask me to do work and i just would not be able to concentrate and be focused on it. I also have a fear of change, i care a lot about my independence, it’s also a reason why while i want a deep close bond i feel like I’m too avoidant to truly get one, i dont want to feel like someone else is in control of my life and I dislike the fact that others/my loved ones can so easily have control over how i feel because i do truly care about others that much.

like stated before, even though i can be very hard working when it comes to my passion and research, I’m also pretty lazy in some regards, i would say the only reason I’m not in bed everyday being lazy is because I actually really like working out so i do it as much as i can lol. I spend like 90% of the day daydreaming and being in my head. I like making fake scenarios, thinking about things/problems in the world and just picking apart my brain.

it’s more of a negative trait of mine but I can be very hypocritical in some cases. I also have a very hard time hiding when I’m upset/mad but I will absolutely deny it to no end. When I dislike someone I just cannot hide it, I can be civil but literally everything single thing they do makes me mad LOL. I also can be pretty judgmental though I try not to be. I also lie a lot, if I’m uninterested in doing something with someone I will just lie.

That’s really all I. Can think of for now :p

I think I have 5 and 9 in my tritype. I can't pinpoint my heart fix nor can I identify my core. Assistance would be appreciated.

If relevant, my MBTI is ISTJ. I am 99% sure of that and unless someone comes up with a good argument for anything else I will not be changing my stance. I mention this because apparently contradictions exist and matter. For the record I don't care, but other people do so it must be important.

I realized yesterday when I finished up volunteering for a shower program (I had initially goofed by pouring the wrong bottle into one of the little things we used to wash everything out because I hadn’t read the label) that a social work major might not be so bad for me. I had been kind of on the fence about it because, in spite of my sleep breathing disorder and sleep issues, I know that I want to eventually get to a point where I am making more money, and while it’s not impossible to get there with a masters degree in social work (I’m about to start a bachelors degree) it would of course probably be a lot easier and quicker if I went a different route. I actually walked out with a smile. I was genuinely very happy and I know that I want to do it again in the future. I had actually never really thought about volunteering to support our unhoused community before a friend of mine started hosting events for homeless individuals, but their events had inspired me and I know now that I want to support. Everyone I saw yesterday was a person first. I think the program is wonderful and another volunteer told me that the guests seemed very comfortable around me and comfortable approaching me. I had been considering becoming a case manager, but if I go into social work and stick with it (I could always get my masters degree in something else, though it’d take longer and might end up being less expensive. I was thinking recently about the least expensive ways to earn that masters degree but will figure it out) I think I want to go where the most money is. I feel like it isn’t impossible for me to move out of my income bracket which is something I was explaining to friends recently, but I need to figure out \\\*how\\\* to do it. One of them said something a girl in high school had also said, which is that I do seem like I’d have a bedside manner (but one of them pointed out I might not do well in a fast paced environment and seem like I’d do well working with children.) I wasn’t afraid of the guests yesterday, though a fellow volunteer seemed somewhat pessimistic given what I guess she had seen before. I think a lot of people in life are terrible but I thought the guests were wonderful and will not be hesitant when I return either.) A friend of mine who I thought was an ENTJ (I wasn’t sure though) or ENFP but now think is an ENFJ (always thought she is likely 2w3 or 3w2, I could see 6w7) suggested I seem genuinely extroverted to her after hanging out with her more recently, like seem like a sincere extrovert to her. I’m not technically extroverted though, I’m an introvert (I’m an ISFJ in MBTI.) I actually had been afraid once when I was in a rehab center but that was different. I was a bit younger and there for a family member.

I was told at the recent volunteering event that I was helpful which is something I am happy about, though I actually wasn’t necessarily going in with intent of helping out the volunteers but moreso with intent of serving our community members. I hadn’t thought about it enough before going to a friend’s event for homeless individuals but there aren’t enough resources available for people who need housing or some kind of additional support and I think it’s important to remember that we are all human at the end of the day. I wish I could have done more to help every guest we had. My immediate family members have also come close to homelessness before (at the start of this year) and I know that a lot of people just judge/don’t have enough empathy.

My therapist pointed out to me recently that I seem to be hard on myself, and to expect perfection from myself.

We had another in depth session recently. I was telling her about how I had partly wanted to ensure that I made blueberry muffins for my class well in part because I did not want to embarrass myself even though I knew there was simply the option of serving ritz crackers if they did not turn out nicely, but also because I had felt that someone who I was talking to had felt I might not be able to do it well when I had suggested I didn’t know how to do it (I had said I hoped they’d turn out well, they had said they hoped so too.) I didn’t want to, as I was explaining to my therapist, perform the task inadequately, but it was also about wanting to serve nice tasting muffins to everyone and just ensure that I wasn’t inferior. So I practiced multiple times because I had never baked before and when the time came people liked every batch. I didn’t hear from family, friends, peers or students that any batch I made ended up tasting bad. My therapist pointed out that I seem to set a particularly high standard for myself, and did not take the easy route here. I actually want to learn how to make more recipes (banana bread and I think brownies were recommended on here so now that I think I know how to make blueberry muffins I’m going to find a healthy banana bread recipe.)

I was actually thinking more today about how I actually do want to start eating healthier. I ended up having McDonald’s for lunch at work today, and when I got home I ordered fast food again but tried to make sure that it was from a healthy place (which was still not smart, but.) I know that I could learn how to cook and actually do want to learn it, but in the moment I guess that had just felt quicker even though it wasn’t smart.

I don’t take great care of myself (which is I am sure partly related to my struggles with depression) but I have realized more recently when reflecting that I am actually starting to care more about financial stability in a man over, well, looks. I have never properly “dated” but am starting to realize that due in part to low self esteem I have just never really had standards. I’ve been approached but never from what I remember by a man of means (and even then I don’t necessarily care about whether or not he is “wealthy” - most men nowadays aren’t - but about whether or not he is decent with money, which a lot of people now aren’t.) An older friend of mine (40) who I more recently just definitively turned down for what he was seeking (which, even though he didn’t explicitly say it, was clearly primarily sex) actually messaged recently in a group chat between he and another friend of mine noting that he will be able to pay now to go thrift with us (he already went though he hadn’t gotten anything because I guess he was sincere about not having been able to afford to) and wants to do it this weekend in preparation for an interview. I am excited for him, but this reminded me further of why I was telling our other friend on the phone after I had let things go a little too far that I didn’t think going through with it would be smart. I think he’s an ESFx 2w3 and I had also just known deep down inside that if I do end up having a serious boyfriend later on I’d have wanted it to be him. I actually am not very physically attracted to him and had never really considered it before but started to feel that way due to his personality after spending time around him, especially since I really love it when I feel like men acknowledge or suggest that I am feminine since I feel like people don’t tend to regard me as very attractive).) The fact that he can’t afford to pay for his clothing but was trying to… I shouldn’t say proposition, but willing to let things between us go far enough for us to sleep together at all (I didn’t let it go that far myself though. I actually drew a boundary there and was playful about it but knew it just wasn’t a good idea) when it could result in something as serious as pregnancy (even with protection or if I started birth control for this, which I didn’t think after being away was worth it even though in the moment I felt that attraction due to personality) is even more unattractive to me. I’ve never really been particular or insistent on a man who approached me being stable or good with money, but I’ve started to realize that it’s just too important. It’s an insult, even if you don’t think of it that way, to approach a woman for sex or a date when you can’t afford to take care of yourself. I’m not pretty and grow up hearing that I was unattractive and still feel like people sometimes look at me funny so I have never been confident that I could actually pull a man who was good with money or who was doing well for himself, but I’ve started to realize over the last month or so (I don’t know what’s shifted. It might be the fact that I’m inching closer to starting a bachelors degree, and beginning to think more sincerely about my goals and what I actually want out of life) that it’s really just poor decision making.

A guy I was talking to a few months ago about another man who I had wanted to date so badly (and he actually was into me, we got on very well immediately) mainly because he was handsome and I was very attracted to him had pointed out to me when talking about how serious his mental health issues are that he could “never take care of me.” I realized after hearing this that I have never actually thought of myself as being someone who should be taken care of by a partner of mine. It’s starting to really hit me that though I have been approached before by guys who were sincere it seemed in their attraction to me or feelings towards me, I have also encountered a lot of what I would quite honestly describe as bottom of the barrel men (and even then, I feel somewhat bad saying that, because at the end of the day we are all human and as time progresses I’m starting to think about that more even though I’ve always felt that people can be so nasty) who wouldn’t have offered anything more than a body. And as I was telling a friend recently, if I just wanted someone to sleep with, I could find that person. That doesn’t even mean I’m attractive, I don’t think so at all. It’s just that there’s nothing flattering to me about a man who can only offer sex (and on occasion, looks.) I’m still not quite expecting to find a man who will “take care of me” because I guess my self esteem still isn’t quite there, but I know now that there’s nothing wrong with asking for what you want, and saying no if a guy doesn’t meet your criteria. Not being attractive doesn’t mean you have to accept the bare minimum or have no standards at all. I’ve met women who are also not “pretty” that found men who seemed really into them and weren’t disrespectful. I don’t know whether or not this will eventually happen for me - I had a boyfriend once in high school, and a guy I was seeing earlier this year who I was actually glad to call my boyfriend initially before learning how significant his mental health issues were - though I can’t help but hope for this.

I look: https://www.reddit.com/r/notinteresting/s/Ejr4FmiQCI
In my free time I guess that I watch and rewatch movies (I rewatched some kind of wonderful yesterday actually, I was about to rewatch say anything for the first time in years but I think it’s a bit late so depending on what I end up doing tomorrow I might rewatch it and might not,) complete homework and as of late look into different pathways to try and think more about what I might want to do. I wrote this about some kind of wonderful if you’re curious about how I think:

“I just finished my first rewatch of “Some Kind of Wonderful” (1987) in years. I actually can’t decide on whether or not I thought the ending was fitting.

I saw this movie at some point in middle or high school because I had read online that if you didn’t like pretty in pink, you’d like this one. I liked this one, but as the film neared its end I was feeling conflicted.

I was actually really starting to like Keith and Amanda as a couple, which is part of the problem. I think that Amanda (who was also Lorraine in back to the future, an 80s trilogy I grew up playing over and over again on the DVD!) and Keith would have been an unconventional couple. I was sorry about the way he was treating her on their date initially, but I don’t know…

It’s not that I have an issue with Keith and watts ending up together. It’s just that as it was starting to near its end I was beginning to feel like there wasn’t enough buildup. I think it was obvious that watts had a crush on Keith, but Keith doesn’t really seem like he notices it until the scene after the party when his mind flashes back to his passionate kiss with Watts. His kiss with Watts was the only time in the film where it seemed to me like he was attracted to her or returned the feelings to an extent. I remember towards the end I was thinking to myself “okay, part of the reason why I might want them to end up together is because watts obviously has a huge crush on him and it makes me sad for her.” I actually felt like the relationship between Keith and Amanda in some ways was starting to feel more… genuine, mutually, if that makes sense. Watts’ feelings for Keith were clearly sincere, which I think was great work on part of the actress. I’ve had that big crush before on a guy who didn’t seem to return the feelings and I know how much it hurts. I don’t think most people would agree to practice kissing someone who they thought was really unattractive (as a woman, I know that personally I wouldn’t) and the way Keith reacts afterwards shows that he clearly liked it. He seems annoyed by Watts’ behavior (jealousy) as the film progresses up until that scene where he remembers their steamy kiss after he and Amanda walk out.

But what bugged me so much is that as we reached the end I realized that I did not \\\\\\\*genuinely\\\\\\\* ship them, not more than Keith and Amanda. Even though Keith and Amanda did both initially “use” each other (and I actually thought Amanda pointing that out was very astute. I hadn’t thought of it that way but when she said it I immediately knew that she was right) I actually felt they seemed like they were making progress. The chemistry was there, but they were also conversing like adults. They were communicating, and the fact that Amanda liked the initially less popular Keith was actually intriguing to me (she lost her popularity due to it, but she seemed like she was somewhat more attracted to him in the beginning than she was willing to admit to friends and her being able to move past that peer pressure was actually very mature of her and seemed promising.) Watts’ displaying such strong jealousy and being mean about it wasn’t ideal, but I also do understand that (given it’s said they knew each other as early as 3rd grade) she’d likely had a crush on him for years that was never realized. I can see that you might have to put yourself in her shoes to an extent, because Keith had surely never noticed her before - had never really complimented her until the kiss scene I’m guessing, or seemed to really think of her as a dating prospect - but I just wish there had been more hints on Keith’s end, more of a conflict, even a subconscious conflict, shown. To me most of the film (as much as I enjoyed it.

The jokes were funny and it was nice to see a more tomboyish character in a John Hughes movie, and interesting to hear some kind of reference to LGBT people in the film) was just Watts being jealous and Keith seeming frustrated about it. The kiss scene between them really was the only real hint on his end. The product was solid but I almost found myself ending it preferring Keith and Amanda, in part because I feel like due to Watts’ understandable jealousy we don’t actually get to see much of Keith and Watts’ dynamic. The only reason why I was okay with them ending up together was because Watts clearly had the biggest crush ever on him and as a girl who has never been considered “attractive” (and especially wasn’t considered attractive in school) I could relate to that to an extent. I just think that the ending between Keith and watts over Keith/amanda would have felt more “earned” if we’d seen signs - even subconscious ones on his end - that Keith was attracted to watts or didn’t think she was unattractive, and if we’d seen more of their dynamic as friends first.”

I’m ISFJ. Something I recognize about myself as an adult is that I am still somewhat hesitant to put myself out there in the dating world because of things people said about my appearance in school. I have actually been at middle schools more recently and when working with 6th graders was really thinking to myself “oh, these are kids.” I actually don’t remember a lot of people I went to middle school with and think it partly bothers me because it was a trust issues thing to an extent (I didn’t know so much of the grade were apparently criticizing my appearance behind my back.) I’ve never felt truly protected as an adult and really have found that I like it when I feel like a man acknowledges that I am a woman (the guy who I more recently turned down because, even though I really like him as a friend, he wasn’t really offering anything, had put my shoes on for me. I actually don’t have pretty feet. But the way he was talking to me in the moment was very attractive to me) and I’m actually the type who feels bad but is also intrigued by it when a man is jealous or willing to defend me physically (if threatened by another man.)

This is how I answered an assignment recently, based upon what I have learned in the course:

“What is “early childhood curriculum”?
Early childhood curriculum provides educators with a guide for what they will be teaching students.  Curriculum should ideally be based upon student interests, and from my understanding it is okay to change curriculum or modify a lesson plan if students seem to be more interested in another topic.  Curriculum should cover the different developmental domains and align with current best practices for educators.  It is crucial for educators to understand child development to ensure that activities are developmentally appropriate.  
 
 
 
 
What role does observation play in curriculum planning and implementation?  
Observation is immensely important for curriculum planning and implementation because observing a child paints a better picture of what their current skillset is (though a child may not always display every skill during an observation, especially if it is a short one) and what students may benefit from learning/having an opportunity to practice.  Observation can also teach us more about where a student is developmentally and what kind of overall needs they may have.  It can additionally provide insight into what a student is interested in.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
What can adults do to foster “whole child” learning in early childhood settings?
To foster "whole child" learning adults can try to make sure that throughout their time at school, students focus on building their skill in different developmental domains by planning out activities based upon what students seem to be interested in.  Adults should make sure that they do not prioritize one area of learning over another.”

Usually my posts are my negative traits. Heres

something more positive i guess!

Type me!

I think giving to people is stupid. But I can't stop giving. I dont expect nothing back at all, but I just do. It feels right. It feels like a need. Like I need to keep those I enjoy happy, not to make them feel better, not out of sympathy or empathy. Feels like a neurotic need to keep everyone in order. If I see someone whos sad ill give them a rub on the shoulder and ask if theyre okay, I see someone sad I joke around even though i suck at being social. I try to make them feel better cuz its the right thing to do. Not cuz theyre vibe killers, I just do it. I do it cuz I hate seeing people left out of thrown away, not in a sense of justice or even care. I just do. I dont do it to fulfill myself or get anything back. Dont care if they hate me or like me. Its the right thing to do.

I dont like being told what to do, but I comply. I suck at standing ground unless something is detrimentally important to me. I try to be independent but im the most dependent person ever, i have nothing for myself and cant do anything by myself and shove it down and ignore it until I sink deeper. It isnt that I dont care, im just preoccupied with other tasks or passions to care about my needs. I check up on others even when I act like I dont care. I like feeling a place I belong in, I like being the center of attention, I love bragging and being better, I love flaunting what im good at. But im a nervous wreck, anxious, quiet, but also confident, loud, boisterous. Selfish, selfless. Caring and uncaring. I give, I take. I hoard I give. I fluctuate between a push and full. I do everything because its how they go. I feel like im nothing without showing something. I need everyone's eyes on me to feel seen, but I hate being seen. But I also crave it. I need someone to witness me, but I love being alone and hate being seen. One thing for sure, I keep everything to myself. I dont open up to anyone, sometimes I can joke around. If someone asks me I keep to myself and pull away and isolate myself away from them. Im the one who listens. Im not the talker. I tell everyone, "You talk, i listen. I dont matter right now" I can say this even whilst not caring. No clue why. I can hate someone and love someone. Other peoples opinions wear me down, if I have an idea im confident with and someone says it sucks. I cave slowly and feel self concious and change it. My ego is low and high. It sucks being such a black and white person. I seem to have no gray zones, im all or nothing. Im everything and nothing. Im aware of how i feel, but ignore it and shove it down and shift my need to assisting others.

I’m almost certain my mbti is ExFx (Im leaning towards ESFJ) and my enneagram is one of those two with a strong fix of the other, now I’m just curious on which one is it.

Sp2:

• I’m usually very aware of how I impact an environment
• I enjoy being complimented for my personality
• I fear losing my friends after I have been nice to them for all this time
• I imagine the worst when someone stops talking to me for a while when I have reached out
• When I give, I wish to receive at least a bit of what I gave
• I have an easy time expressing most of my emotions outwardly
• I‘m one to compromise and change positions when the group is heavily encouraging it, but I can’t give up what I want the whole way most times
• I love to be loved by the people that I truly care for
• I reach out to help others when they don’t need it, for little things

So7:

• I can‘t stand when people repeat things or when I do it
• I seek out group activities not for the environment, to have a fun time for me
• I get most creative in group conversations, that’s why I seek them out
• I couldn’t imagine a life where I just was stuck inside with nothing to do
• I have thoughts of being unable to talk about new things and running out of ideas to talk about with the people I love
• I get upset after a while when there isn’t enough variety, but I mostly stick to my comfort zone
• I seek out and try to find new experiences fairly often
• Im usually the initiator of plans and the talker in my friend group
• Occasionally, a good idea can give me more energy than socialising

Like help bro im so stuck 😭

Hi guys! I’m not sure what my enneagram may be. I’m in between 7 5 and 4, but open to other possibilities. All I know is I’m def not a 9. Thanks!

thank you

The lion's hyperfixation with the Enneagram for several years has betrayed him greatly

hey hey, i was wondering if, even theoretically, INTP + 1w2 + 137 was possible. i don't use reddit much if not at all, and it really pains me to put myself out here and ask. to preface, i only really did some reading on enneagrams, enough to categorize myself, i'm quite busy and nitpicky with my schedule and time, and reading so much into this topic didn't seem like a great investment on my time, which is why i'm deciding to ask for advice instead.
i am quite confident in INTP and 1w2, along with my core E1, i am also pretty confident in 3, but 7 is where it gets shaky. i'm pretty sure this is quite the rare combination, or its just absolute absurdity, i can't tell because from what i can tell i am the only person on the internet to have—or question this typing. the only thing i can find on the combination is google ai telling me its possible, but... what isn't possible to google ai, lol? anyways. i myself am very interested in social dynamics, overall sociology, and i would consider myself to have great integrity with a strong inner moral compass. i always look for efficiency, and i always think about ways of reforming things and systems, i repress my anger a lot, and usually deny feeling angry at all when someone picks up on my irritation. ( thanks to my family ) which is why im so confident in enneagram 1. for the 3, i contribute a lot of this to my "slacking" in some sort of way. even as a child, i was always trying to figure out shortcuts to knowledge just to find a way to surpass some other person and feel superior—i was really into humblebragging (lol) and connected a lot of my self worth to productivity and work results, also due to my upbringing, always liked to feel admired or valued for my intelligence and i often felt the most depressed on days where i felt like i got nothing done. now enneagram 7 is where it gets finnicky... because undeniably, i do look for a lot of mental stimulation; its a coping mechanism i've had ever since i was a child because i was really neglected emotionally and also in every other way except physically (was well fed), i always hated feeling negatively or expressing it, or ashamed of my negative emotions (such as the envy i felt when someone was better at me for something, feeling bad about my internal frustration towards the world/people around me), and always downplayed them to people as a result (saying im super apathetic/chill, blah blah), to my friends i usually like to overdramatize myself (used to watch a lot of youtube) and pretend i'm, for example, SUUPER comedically scared on a horror game and i liked being considered funny, or nice, or any positive trait and usually tried really hard to disassociate myself from more negative terms.
i have diagnosed anxiety and depression, and i have had a sneaking suspicion of OCD for a while, and maybe AUDHD which im all waiting to get diagnosed for; but i'm not one to self diagnose so do just account for my only two diagnosed conditions for now.
im definitely not neurotypical. i was a gifted kid...
ask me for any elaboration or questions...its also entirely very possible im a 135. i just felt too hyperactive; which can be explained by a diagnosis, and honestly im a major slacker. most of my free time is worrying about my studies while doing something stimulating like playing a pvp game. ive literally never been good with homework or autonomous studying in my life. i vividly remember looking at some.. 1st grade? math homework as a kid and getting bored and giving up to go play instead. never did reading homework... only got As in my online classes that were mandatory to pass the grade; the rest of my classes i had an F in for not doing any homework. my whole thing is "ill cross that bridge when i get to it), and i don't feel like i hoard knowledge out of fear or something?? more like just to keep myself afloat and feel better about myself. dont know. im really big into introspection so thats why im confident in most of these. i was pretty confident in all this until i noticed how rare the combination was.

i SWEAR im not the stereotype of my enneagram, i seem to view life qnd everything mych differently...or am i mistyped. ill find out.

hallo, I've been wondering for a long time if I have been mistyped

I know FOR SURE my MBTI type is an ESFP. although I'm unsure if my enneagram is right or makes sense with my MBTI, but it does relate to me a lot

so altogether I am an ESFP 9w8 sp/sx 972!!

(pls I need help I'm still new to this)

i feel strongly that i am FVLE, but ive read that other types like so8, so9, and sp3 correlate and sp7 doesnt.
can somebody explain the differences between each and why they may work or not

My typology is sp/so 3w2 36?8 estj but I keep getting very different results on tests. I originally typed as estj sp7 FVEL but apparently that was really wrong so idk

I tried to think of ever available facts about me . Hopefully there will be a chance to determine my wing

Well, I've discovered that I instinctively rely on making things desirably perfect just to gain satisfaction. For example, when I plan for a party, I prefer to make every step perfect—not necessarily super perfect, but I could if I really wanted to. Another example is when I prepare my timing; I arrange it suitably to account for when I need to go to the bathroom. I also instinctively prefer to adjust things rather than leave them as they are.

I've noticed that intellectual or logical actions are what I prefer more than freedom and strength, though I personally and consciously prefer to be strong rather than "perfect."

I think that leans toward Enneagram 9w1.

Though I really want to be free and rebellious, I just can't because my brain can't adapt to daily rebellion, or maybe I just don't naturally rebel that much.

Idk, something in my brain says that E1 is safer. I DON'T WANT TO BE SAFER! I WANT TO SUFFER TO GAIN STRENGTH!

But I also don't cross other people's boundaries, either out of respect or out of fear. However, when I get really angry, I can break these boundaries. I easily cross my own boundaries because I consider them limits.

I hate letting my anger control me without thinking reasonably and fairly, but I enjoy the feeling of letting out my anger. It makes me feel more out of my comfort zone.

please provide wing questions if you can

I think more between sp9 and sx6 which sounds kinda crazy but hear me out.

Points for sx6: I’m more normal when I’m alone. I crave connection and intimacy but I swear I go insane once I’m in a relationship. I get suspicious. Not the “you’re cheating or plotting behind my back” suspicious but more like “their tone was off, it’s over.” “How do I really know they ACTUALLY want me? Who would even want me? There’s better options.” I tend to read between the lines a lot. I look for proof someone hates me or doesn’t want me around. They’re not seeing me how I want to be seen/perceived. When I get more neurotic about feeling unwanted, I feel like I need to keep their attention by getting into shape, dressing better, better grooming, but not being a totally different person. I test people. Make sure they actually want me and see me for who I really am. Make sure they’re seeing the image I’m trying to project. I get extreme anxiety over being seen right. I’m not a 3 btw I’m too neurotic and lazy and I can even lash out at times. I need a lot of reassurance. I hate that about myself. I have circular thoughts and tend to overthink things. Mainly under stress.

Points for sp9: I’m generally neutral on most topics. I have no strong opinions. I don’t get involved with other people or politics. I stay away from the news, anything remotely stressful, or anything that can make me feel bad or rile me up. I don’t let people get emotional reactions out of me. That’s a way for them to control me. I will postpone things if I’m being forced to make a decision or act too quickly just to be stubborn and not be controlled or told what to do by others. I hate being angry, I hate snapping at people, arguing, but I can lose control when I’ve pushed my emotions down for long enough. I’m unaware of my emotional state and I don’t care about my emotional state. I don’t realize how bad it is until I explode and I ruin every relationship around me because I didn’t catch how stressed I was. I’m rather shy. I don’t care to make friends or be popular. I prefer to be left alone. I’m stuck between wanting to be liked and not having the energy to be liked and keep up the social bullshit. I hate gatherings, I hate parties and I hate socializing. It’s too much energy and I have a strict routine I adhere to because it’s comfortable and familiar and doing those things gives me anxiety because of my routine being disrupted. My routines are there for stability and keeping myself calm. I don’t like openly disagreeing with people I’m close to so I can keep them. With strangers I care less. I typically be quiet if I disagree with someone or I just agree with them openly while quietly disagreeing.

Maybe I’m a totally different type idk

Idk much about myself tbh I have to ask others what I’m like