Got a DM like this. This is too funny so I can't resist to not share it with you all😂

"Yes, I'm scared of d!cks. Especially yours. I'm afraid it's too small" is what I replied🙂‍↔️

I wonder what's going on in their brains before asking useless questions to strangers🙂

(PLEASE READ ALL)

A few days ago, my cousin’s bhabhi had a C-section and gave birth to twins, a baby boy and a baby girl. What I witnessed in the hospital that day genuinely disturbed me, and I still can’t get it out of my head.

We were in the hospital room with her mother-in-law and several other aunties, but her own parents weren’t there. Suddenly, her MIL took off her upper blouse and exposed her breasts in front of everyone for around five minutes. Everyone started laughing and discussing her breasts—their colour, size, and literally every little detail. Then, all the young, unmarried girls in the room were asked to touch both her nipples with water mixed with red tilak, neem leaves, and some black substance I couldn’t identify. Apparently, this ritual was supposed to help the mother produce breast milk. Afterwards, everything was thrown into a plant. My family told me that this was done so that we could get married soon and have a baby shortly after marriage. They also gave us ₹1,000 as a blessing. I was literally about to faint seeing these rituals 😭 There were always 3–4 people in her room 24/7, but neither her husband nor her parents were there for her. People were eating pizza, pasta, poori, and everything else right in front of a new mother who was barely allowed to eat anything herself, without even worrying about hygiene or infection.

Her MIL forced both newborn babies to suck on her breasts, even though they weren’t latching properly and no milk was coming out. When that didn’t work, she brought a spoon close to her breasts and twisted her nipples to force the milk out. My bhabhi was clearly in pain, but nobody seemed to care. I couldn’t even bear to look at her. I genuinely have no words to describe how horrifying, uncomfortable, and humiliating the whole experience was. We’re from Haryana, and when my sister and I returned home, neither of us said a single word about what we had witnessed. What makes this even more heartbreaking is that my bhabhi had her babies after four years of marriage. Her family spent around ₹25–30 lakh on medicines, IVF, injections, and other fertility treatments. Her MIL had also taken her to countless babas, mandirs, and poojas, hoping she would conceive.

This incident has genuinely changed the way I think about pregnancy and childbirth. I love children, but honestly, I never want to give birth if this is what a woman might have to go through afterwards. And I’m not even talking about the pain of labour or recovering from a C-section. I’m talking about having relatives, some of whom you barely know, crowding your hospital room, treating your body like a public spectacle, touching you, discussing your breasts, and performing rituals on you when you should be resting and recovering. Nobody seems to care about the mother’s comfort or consent. Everyone is so focused on the babies and traditions that the woman who has just undergone major surgery becomes an afterthought. And it doesn’t end there. Three or four days later, there are more rituals, satsangs, sweets to distribute, and extended family members to entertain. On top of everything, her MIL even asked her to observe Karva Chauth for her husband. A woman who had just undergone a C-section and given birth to twins was expected to fast for her husband. I genuinely wanted to slap everyone involved. How can anyone be so insensitive? Honestly, my only prayer to God is that I never, ever have to go through pregnancy if it means being surrounded by people who feel entitled to my body, privacy, and choices. I don’t want my postpartum recovery to become a family event where everyone else’s traditions matter more than my physical and emotional well-being.

Recently, I connected with someone from this sub through her old CFCF post. We talked for three days about our interests, ideologies, and life goals, and things seemed to be going well.

Initially, I only shared my first name, where I live, and where I work, which was all she asked. On the fourth day, she asked about my religion. When I told her, she said she couldn’t date someone from my religion. That’s completely fine.

But if religion is a deal breaker, why not ask about it upfront.

If caste or religion matters to you in CFCF interactions, please mention it in your post or ask early on. It Save both people’s time.

I’m 30F. I’ve always wanted to be CF. Even found myself a CF partner. But now one by one, all of our friends are getting pregnant. One fear of mine is that after they have kids, my friends will not have space for CF folks like me in their lives. And obviously I’m feeling extremely intense FOMO.

At the end of the day i do not want to have kids. I cannot envision myself as a mother. This is not something i want at all. But 5 different people i know have gotten pregnant in the last 8-9 months and every time i hear the news, a pit forms in my stomach. One of my husband’s friend is pregnant and i just found out today, and I’m just feeling….dread.

If the societal pressure was gone and i had a CF friend group, i wouldn’t even think about it. But now i feel like I’m a weirdo and that I’ve ostracised myself from society because having children is normal. And it’s just messing with my brain.

If anyone has any advice to help calm my nerves, I’d appreciate it!

You are in a committed relationship or marriage. You and your partner are both childfree, and everything is going great. Your values, lifestyle, and future plans align, and you believe you have found your person.

Then, one fine evening, your partner tells you that they have always identified as childfree, but recently they have realised they actually want to have a child.

Everything else in your relationship is still wonderful, but now you want fundamentally different futures.

How would you navigate this situation?

1. End the relationship because this is a fundamental incompatibility, despite everything else being great.

2. Try to convince your partner to remain childfree, believing this change of heart might be temporary and could pass with time.

3. Reconsider your own stance and agree to have a child because you want to stay together.

4. Something else

I don’t mean this to be snarky this is a genuine question not meant to put anyone down.

I see people mentioning about it their hobbies which is great but personally if I love someone. I am automatically invested and very interested in their hobby’s and if I enjoy it I will definitely take part in them. I love you and I love everything you love kind of mindset.

But to me, someone’s principles and beliefs matter more to me than their hobby.

I want to know their opinion on capitalism vs socialism, do they believe in reproductive rights, their opinion on feminism, what political side they lean into, what they think about reservations.

And I don’t think this is a gender thing because both women and men don’t mention anything about this in their post.

Please forgive my grammar, thank you!!

Edit:

I am trying to have a conversation about this without pushing my own politics.

my intention here is not which is ‘better’ right or left or centrist. That is a different discussion not reserved for this sub.

But a simple question..why not mention it so you find people who share your principles?

Did he have given pushbacks to you guys? I have emailed him but didn't get an answer till now. So i thought asking on reddit if anyone have consulted to this surgeon. Because he was the only doc mentioned on childfree friendly docs list from india.i wonder if he performs bisalp for unmarried women too or not. So i thought to ask from you guys. I saw some days ago some vasectomy friendly gynacs list on reddit. Why their is no female sterialization gynacs list on reddit. I feel their should be atleast 2,3 docs who have approved for sterialization since I heard some people saying they got it done in metro cities. Anyways if anyone can answer my initial question so please answer?.

Found this article on medium from 2015 and it's penned so articulately

My only reason to turn CF was the current uninhabitable state of our country. The start of pollution season is just another reminder to not bring another life here just for it to suffer. New parents are buying air purifiers for every room in the house, keeping their children inside, trapped in. Not to mention the toxic water, adultered food. I really wanted a kid sometime back. But they have killed my wish for good now.

I was thinking and now thinking out loud, if there are social scholars, here in this sub, can we do a study on living as a childfree in India (Capturing the lived experience), since there is a lot of social stigma attached to it and can be a good white paper for policy consideration.

Basically this. People should disclose these things before they start dating.

This short came up on YouTube and I obviously agreed with perspective but what was interesting is that I see this same idea gets validation coming from a famous actress but if a common person was speaking the same thing, we see how much it is countered with nonsense. On the internet itself, the major population is youth , young and new generation and yet we can find so much counter against an idea that is so essential and basic.

It is not about the idea of having or not having kids but it can be said that if we better articulate our ideas then there is no point in seeking social validation, as social opinion is too whimsical and fragile.

https://youtube.com/shorts/hmFYj27g1V0?si=DswsuYQZ8Dw8cGg5

In my opinion vasectomy is the safest and most convenient thing to do. Women have to go through such an ordeal and I believe taking contraceptive pills is not a long-term solution (might have consequences on your health).

I am a divorced guy here, no kids. I have not researched it but since I am a part of this sub and have come across a few posts on the topic, I wanted to gather info from here.

1. Any prerequisites? (Read in this sub that at least should have 1 kid, which doesn’t make sense)
   
2. Is it necessary to be married?
   
3. Best done in private vs gov hospitals?
   
4. Expected cost (a ball park figure)

Would appreciate your thoughts and learn from this sub.

P.S. Looking forward to shooting blanks.

Today, my husband and I woke up and were just cuddling and talking. We were discussing something along the lines of 'earnings and real estate and cars and how youth is finding pleasure and joy and small luxuries instead of a home because no one can afford it anymore'.

Then the discussion proceeded to how everything around us is bad, society is fucked up, air water also is fucked up, education system is fucked up, my husband has recently been laid off; as humans, we are doomed. Then why do people still bring new lives into this shitty world just to tell them, grow up, study, earn money and suffer. It's beyond my comprehension.

My husband smirked and said "well, thanks to our conscience, we won't be doing that, we love our unborn child so much that we don't want to bring her/him in this world to suffer."

I fell in love with him all over again!

What are some of your non-negotiables (Apart from them being CF of course). Did they change as more time passed?

Mine are

1. Will be a furry parent eventually

2. Physical attraction

3. Similar religion thought I'm not religious

Someone who will settle in Bangalore, prefers non veg (isn't like a hard limit though). IDK sometimes I wonder if it's too much.

So i texted some gynacs some have given me pushbacks and 1 or 2 gynacs said to me okay they will perform I mean offcourse they said it to on text to me. but atleast someone considered doing it. They said to me to come and meet them in a hospital. I'm so scared honestly will they going to do my hereditary test or something to know if I was lieing or not. Or they actually gonna see my family history i was surprised. okay it was on WhatsApp but i was happy that atleast 2 gynacs agreed they will perform it. They asked me to come and meet them and discuss for procedure i don't know if after meeting them they are going to give me pushback or not. I want to know have any of you tried this idea and got this surgery done.hoq can I lie better. Any ideas?