EDIT: Thank you all for your suggestions and opinions. And yes, I realize that she's not a psychopath nor should I have insinuated that she was. After talking with her more, it seems that it was purely some form of cathartic entertainment and experience that was very specific to older girls. And also a web of lies that she felt too deeply engrossed in to get out. It's concerning that this was enjoyable for her but we're talking through it <3

As I said in the title, I have a 16-year-old daughter who is somehow the best and yet, did something so terrible and so unique that I have never really heard of it before.

For context, she goes to a very rigorous online-school, has straight A+'s in Honors and AP classes, and is well-respected by her teachers and classmates.

She is so respectful to me (her mom), her father, and her older brothers and sisters; does everything we ask; and tells us that she loves us every single day. She also makes her bed every day, keeps her spaces clean, eats and sleeps well, and is generally organized.

She is friends with a lot of people, but is very close with her two best friends.

I also hang out with her every day; we get treats (ice cream, smoothies, cookies, etc) and go shopping. Other parents of teens tell me I'm so lucky for my relationship with my daughter.

Sounds like the perfect situation, right?

Well, she did something that makes me so mad, and so frustrated, and so confused that I don't know what to do...it's been two months and I am still wrapping my head around it.

So, for more context haha...

She worked at this summer day camp near us. She used to attend the camp as a camper, so they were very comfortable with our family and hired her with enthusiasm.

She's not the type of person to be overly passionate about much, but she LOVED this camp. She talked about it every single day and told every single stranger about how great it was. She lived, ate, and breathed this camp.

So, obviously, we were super excited for her to spend 9 weeks (mid June to Mid August) working at her happy place.

She just turned 16 the day before the camp started, and in our state you can't even get the PERMIT until after you turned 16, so we had to drive her to and from work, which we were happy to do, especially considering that we weren't going to get to see her much otherwise.

The plan was that my husband would drive her there in the mornings and I would pick her up, and this is what we did every single day. It was simple, and beautifully normal.

But I was greatly deceived.

Since she attended as a camper, she had to go through a bit of a niche experience, which was re-meeting her former care-takers (counselors) as peers and friends. This meant that the relationship changed and she had to adjust.

The camp staff was mostly kids a lot older than her (in their early 20s) so she thought of the girls as big-sisters. I thought it was sweet. They'd call her the baby, invite her to functions, and dote on her. She loved it. She's the type of girl to be greatly infatuated with slightly older girls who are pretty, competent, and have big hearts.

In the middle of the summer, she started saying that some of her "big-sisters" were offering to drive her home and asked me if that would be okay, so she could spend more one on one time with them.

I was so happy that she was living out her dream of finally being friends with the big kids, so I said yes, but told her to keep it to a minimum and never ask for ride, considering our house is out of the way for a lot of the girls.

Seems normal, right?

I'm not going to go into detail about how we learned about what she was doing this whole time, but I will explain.

We learned at the end of the summer that she had fabricated an entire story to three of her "big-sisters" ALL. SUMMER. LONG.

And what was this story?

That she had been LIVING ALONE for two months, implying that her PARENTS (us) were NEGLIGENT, and that she HADN'T SPOKEN WITH THEM in 2 MONTHS.

WHAT??

The three girl believed her and had been so concerned for her that they were emotionally comforting her all the time, texting and checking in with her, and reported the situation to the camp leadership.

Suffice to say, me and my husband and my son (who is much older than her), were shocked. All three of us had been home, hanging out, all summer--the polar opposite of what she had described.

She also told them that she was 15, not 16, and I'm sure a bunch of other lies.

She's a trained actress, so I'm not surprised that she convinced these 20-somethings of such a bizarre story through her ability to cry and seem distressed on cue.

We told her she couldn't finish out the last week (Wed-Fri) after that, and we had many a conversation to try to figure out what happened. The three girls and the leadership were informed of the truth.

She says she just wanted to evoke their compassion and concern for her, and that she was kind of addicted to their pity.

While I appreciate her ability to articulate, it's shocking to me that this had been going on for two whole months and I had no idea. That my idea of my daughter was so far off from the truth.

While I was hanging out with her after work, she was living in this alternate universe where we were different people.

I'm so confused and so shocked.

The reason why I'm writing this is because I can't find any parents who can relate. No, my teen doesn't cheat, smoke, drink, do drugs, or anything else like that, but she lies about her whole life.

Is this really as abnormal and insane as I think it is? Or am I being too concerned? Please tell me what you think of this whole situation.

She's asking me if she can return to camp this year. The camp leadership said they're fine to overlook what happened, considering she was a phenomenal counselor and none of this involved them; however, the three girls (one of whom is very angry (rightfully) at my daughter) would be there and would potentially be her bosses. And even more so, I just don't know if I can trust her so soon after.

I have an obsession with learning about the brain and how it processes information, as a young child I to had issues with my mental health and finding out ways to cope with traumas. I would love to help other children have a voice and make their lives a little bit better. However I would love to know some pros and cons about the job. I know a lot about psychology at the moment, however what did you find most challenging in the course?

my son is 8 years old and in 3rd grade. at school, he is very quiet and scared to ask questions or even leave his seat most of the time. i brushed it off at first as general shyness, but even after spending a year with a certain teacher he still won’t speak to them. at home he is the complete opposite. he never runs out of energy and is hard to keep up with. he also has meltdowns over seemingly small things which include crying, yelling, throwing things, and slamming doors. every night before school he has either severe throat or stomach pain despite the doctor finding nothing wrong with him. this behavior significantly decreases during breaks and summer.
i have had trouble for years getting much help out of the school because he *seems* fine at school besides anxiety which he gets SEL group once a week for. i know that my son probably doesn’t take priority over kids who show behaviors in school, but it’s broken my heart for years that my son has to completely hide who he is. his conference is coming up soon and i’m wondering what exactly my options are here. i must also say i had my son when i was very young so ive always felt that his schools have never taken me seriously even though ive known something was wrong since he was in daycare. i may be young but i think every child deserves to feel safe at school.

I’m 32 years old, and I’ve been struggling with hypersexuality, compulsive sexual behaviour, pornography, and masturbation for approximately 20 years. I’m sharing my story because I feel overwhelmed by shame, guilt, and confusion about how my life developed this way.

My childhood home environment

From around the age of one until I was 13, I slept in my parents’ bedroom. My parents would engage in sexual activity in the same room while I was present. They believed I was asleep, but I was often awake and aware of what was happening.

My father was an alcoholic, and his behaviour toward my mother was often frightening. From what I witnessed, he would engage in forceful sexual activity with her while she protested and objected. I was repeatedly exposed to these situations as a child, with no control over what was happening and nowhere else to sleep.

My father’s behaviour toward me

My father’s behaviour toward me also made me feel uncomfortable and unsafe. When he was drunk, he would hug or hold me in ways that felt inappropriate, frightening, and unwanted. While holding me, he would use degrading and sexually insulting language toward my mother.

I remember his physical contact sometimes feeling forceful rather than affectionate. These experiences confused me because I was a child and did not understand why the interactions made me so uncomfortable. I have spent years wondering how this environment affected my understanding of safety, affection, and sexual boundaries.

How my hypersexuality developed

By the ages of 8–10, I had already developed strong sexual urges and behaviours. I began masturbating frequently and rubbing myself against pillows and my sister’s doll. At that age, I did not understand why I was experiencing these urges or how to manage them.

By around 12, my sexual curiosity was already intense. While playing a “doctor-doctor” game with a girl, I kissed her on the cheek and wanted to take things further sexually. I felt an overwhelming drive to seek sexual experiences and, at times, wanted to reenact what I had been exposed to at home. The urges seemed to be about releasing the pressure I felt, rather than having a clear understanding of attraction, intimacy, or relationships.

I often wonder whether my repeated exposure to sexual activity at home, my experiences with my father, and my early sexual development contributed to these behaviours. I cannot establish the exact cause simply by looking back, but the connection is something I am trying to understand.

The incident with an older boy when I was 12

When I was 12, an approximately 14-year-old boy, who was the older brother of a servant working for our household, came to our home. My mother told me to go and play with him.

I was already struggling with intense sexual urges. During the interaction, I sat on his lap and rubbed myself against his chest while remaining clothed. When I got down, I noticed that he had an erection. He realised I had noticed, smiled, and said it was an “elder thing.”

He then offered me his back so I could continue rubbing against him until I experienced release. He did not stop the interaction or guide me away from it. He allowed it to continue and asked me for money afterward.

I have repeatedly questioned whether I abused him by initiating the contact. Looking back, the situation feels complicated. I initiated the rubbing and pursued release, but I was only 12, already struggling with sexual urges I did not understand, and he was older than me. He recognised what was happening, encouraged the interaction to continue, and asked for money afterward.

I do not want to use my childhood experiences as an excuse for anything I did. At the same time, I want to understand the situation in the context of my age, my development, and the circumstances in which it happened. I struggle to understand what responsibility belonged to each of us and how to process the guilt I still carry.

Afterward, I began having sexual experiences with other boys around my age. My sexual behaviour continued to develop alongside the compulsive urges I had experienced since childhood.

My sexuality and later behaviour

Over the years, I have had sexual experiences with women, men, and trans women. I continue to have questions about my sexuality and how my early experiences, compulsive urges, and later choices may have influenced my sexual behaviour.

Sometimes I wonder whether I was trying to reenact things I had witnessed or seeking relief from overwhelming urges, regardless of the person involved. I understand that sexual behaviour and sexual orientation are not necessarily the same thing, and I do not want to assume that my childhood experiences determine my orientation.

I want to understand what I genuinely feel, what is connected to compulsive behaviour, and what I may have been trying to process through sex.

There are also things I did at age 16 that I deeply regret and worry may have harmed someone else. I want to take responsibility for my actions, understand my behaviour, and ensure that I do not repeat anything harmful.

Where I am today

I feel exhausted by this cycle. For approximately 20 years, I have struggled with compulsive sexual behaviour, pornography, masturbation, shame, and guilt. I often look back at my childhood and ask myself what was my fault, what happened to me, and how these experiences shaped the person I became.

Sometimes I feel hopeless and struggle to imagine a healthier future. I feel ashamed of my past and worry that I have permanently damaged my life.

I want to be clear that I am not sharing my childhood as an excuse for any harm I may have caused. I want to understand my experiences while accepting responsibility for my own choices. I also want to stop treating myself as though my entire identity can be reduced to my sexual behaviour or my worst mistakes.

I would appreciate advice from people who understand these struggles:

How do you address the underlying issues behind compulsive sexual behaviour rather than simply trying to suppress urges?
Has therapy helped you understand the relationship between childhood experiences, shame, and sexual compulsivity?
How do you distinguish taking responsibility for your actions from blaming yourself for everything that happened during childhood?
If you engaged in sexual behaviour as a child that you now question, how did you work through the uncertainty and guilt?
How do you begin rebuilding your life when these patterns have continued for many years?

I am looking for constructive advice, understanding, and hope. I want to understand my past, take responsibility for my present, and build a healthier future.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

My daughter is 4 years old. It seems like more recently when an adult says hi or tries to have a conversation with her she forgets how to act. Sometimes she will do this heh sound like a single laugh a couple times instead of responding with words. Sometimes she will sit there and make a funny face like her tongue sticking out and make her arms go up and down because she thinks it’s funny.

She is very hyperactive and cannot sit still, like to climb on things and people. She is very strong willed and sassy and will argue with us often. She doesn’t have intense meltdowns and recovers quickly if she does get upset. She talks very well for her age. She likes to play with her cousins and will make friends occasionally at preschool or the park.

She does this kind of thing with adults she doesn’t see on a regular basis. I don’t know if it’s an anxiety thing or what. It just seems odd. And it makes me very anxious to leave the house. She has a Christmas program coming up and I’m scared she’s gonna stand there and do crazy faces and weird movements the whole time.

She has been evaluated by early intervention twice and did not have any concerns and she did not meet criteria for services. Her pediatrician also has no concerns. It’s just hard sometimes feeling like your kid is different and like you both are gonna have to struggle. Anybody experience anything similar. Or any teachers that could weigh in? Her teacher also said she does well and shares and takes turns and participates. As soon as she did the awkward entrance today she sat down and started playing with her teacher. Idk. Everything you look up nowadays says autism. I’m exhausted thinking about it all.

I have a 12-year-old brother who used to enjoy life, play video games and football, and do the usual things kids his age enjoy.
Lately, he has been dealing with bullying and being left out, and it has really affected him. He has started spending most of his time alone in his room and no longer seems interested in the things he used to enjoy, not even using his phone.
What worries me the most is how he has started seeing himself. He keeps questioning himself and saying things like, “Why am I not successful? Why am I not good at anything? Why don’t I have something I’m actually good at?” It hurts to hear him talk about himself this way, especially at such a young age.
He has also been playing football since he was 8, but he feels like he is not improving. One of his friends has progressed to the point where he travels to compete in tournaments, and I think seeing that difference might be making him feel even worse about himself.
As his family, we are worried about him and do not want things to get worse. We are trying to understand how to approach him without putting more pressure on him or making him feel like we are forcing him to talk.
Has anyone dealt with something similar with a child around this age? I would especially appreciate advice from child psychologists or psychiatrists on how to support him, help him regain his confidence, and know when professional help is needed.
We just want to help him feel like himself again.

13 year old daughter. Had a rough year with a neurological condition. Off school for months and in PT. On the mend now but things are still complicated with her condition and big feelings. However, during her illness she really started to hate my mum. We don’t live near my parents.
We haven’t visited them in a few years due to my daughter’s condition - staying away from home is a major trigger for her.
However, as they live far away, when we see them it’s often more of an event. So they stay over, or are here for a few days in the house. Something that makes my daughter incredibly uncomfortable and the build up is immense.
My mum is also incredibly emotional. We lost my brother over 10 years ago so I have been an only child for a while and these are her only grandchildren (I have another daughter). I’m often caught with extreme guilt for moving far away and taking everything away from her. Plus protecting my teenage daughter and being there for her and my other daughter. It feels like a mess.
My teenager can’t really articulate what the issue is other than she doesn’t want my parents here and then we get into illness conversations because she is so anxious over the situation. She harbours a lot of ill feelings over seemingly minor comments, but I’m trying not to dismiss them as she’s 13.
I feel incredibly sad that things have got here but what should I do?

Hello,

Following my initial post, many have pointed out the urgency of the situation—and it is indeed worsening very rapidly. My daughter experiences dizziness when she stands up. She sleeps a great deal, as she is completely exhausted. She is withdrawing from her friends; her best friend, feeling concerned, even reached out to me to ask how she was doing, as she had stopped hearing from her.

In the meantime, I sent two emails to the doctor explaining the situation, and I finally managed to reach the office staff. They confirmed that my emails had been passed on to the doctor, but stated that we must wait for the scheduled appointment at the end of October—there are no earlier openings. They do not consider it a medical emergency. They advised that if my daughter loses consciousness or becomes disoriented, I should call emergency services.

P.S. We are in France. Wait times for consultations are long—ranging from several months to several years. Psychologists are not taking on new patients; there are waiting lists in both the private and public sectors. There is no psychologist specializing in eating disorders in our region (that is, within a 200km radius of where we live). I also looked for remote options via video call, but there is no availability anywhere for several months.

I contacted the local medical-psychological center for children (CMP) and explained the situation in detail; they said they would call me back. Once again, they do not consider it a life-threatening emergency. In their view, an "emergency" implies an immediate risk of death (such as a suicide attempt requiring resuscitation).

We have searched everywhere and called everyone... There is nothing we can do but wait. My husband—her father—is a psychiatric nurse for adults; he inquired at his colleagues and other departments for information, but received the same response: call emergency services only if she loses consciousness or experiences a clear physical crisis (for example, if she becomes unable to walk). For now, her BMI is normal, so there’s no immediate danger. The healthcare staff are overwhelmed and understaffed; they’re also exhausted and at their wits' end (thanks to budget-cutting policies...). In short—we’ve had it up to here. 😭

So, I guess we’ll just have to wait until her life is in danger before she gets any care—since that’s apparently how things work.

From what I have heard psychopathy is mostly biological, such as the parts of the brain that controls emotions and empathy are not working properly? Which results to levels of apathy and emotional dysregulation, neurotransmitters such as dopamine levels being usually low. These are ofcourse the nature side of psychology, however I am interested how nuture can affect this biological aspect?

If a person with psychopathic traits have a good childhood persay, such as having a good role model/healthy caregiver, to teach them morals despite the difficulty of it, to be patient, to help them navigate their way of thinking and the alike; would they develop a good mental health despite the apathy? and develop healthy realtionships?

I mean, in kids' age it is natural for them to seek dependence, to seek a connection from their parents (ex, Harry Harlow's theory and experiment) and depending on how their connection developed they form different kind of attachments (John Bowlby's attachment theory)

How would it be different for kids who are born with psychopathic traits, since they're kids, woukd they still have the need of dependency to caregivers? Could they make a bond with their parents? If they have a bad relationship with them instead, does it really affect their psychology more than we thought despite their apathy?

I'm also asking these for reference and accuracy for a book I'm making. Needing more input and also advice.

For context, a have a child character who has psychopathy traits but a loving mother who is doing her best to teach and take care of him right. The mother is sickly so at times I imagine the child to also have a sense of responsibility, likely has a sense of superiority, "Mother is weak and sick, she can't do much without me taking care of her." Of course his sense of superiority is battled by how in many instances he still has to rely on his mother, in learning new things, in navigating emotions, social situations, the unknown, and even daily activities.

But at some point the mother is killed and the baby boy will witness it's body. So overall I do wonder how this character of mine will even process a death like that.

Can he also experience trauma? He'd be 14 here, so a teen's mind is still underdeveloped. In the possibility of losing someone he depended on, still has some sort of bond, and then seeing a dead human body of that person, can even a teen process that properly? My own conclusion at the moment is he doesn't feel anything, likely goes numb as ever but will struggle processing the event, the death and likely lead to trauma? PTSD? Need help XD

Additionally, in his age he'd understand death, but to lose someone who you have naturally relied on, and his still too young to be independent, is there a possibility of experience grief just in a different form?

I've read reddit posts about how usually they'd feel sad however shallow, and usually they experience it when it comes to pets. Some say its likely because of bond and the responsibility of taking care of someone vulnerable... (see why I also made the mother sickly and the kid having sense of superiority taking care of her)

So yeahhh, To make a summary, I want to know if a child with psychopathic traits still be dependent and seek connection to a caregiver, will they br able to even make a bond, can they experience grief? and also develop trauma? ex. PTSD

This is a long post but thank you for reading if you have reached this far. 💜

Edited:

I misused the term neurodivergent, I assumed because psychopathy in a bioligical sense is that parts of their brain functions differently, so I loosely used the term. So I'll remove it because it creates confusion.

I am aware what ASPD is, however Anti-Sociol Personality Disorder is not what I am aiming for here. The character I am portraying will not have any symptoms that correlates to ODD/CD or even ASPD when growing up. I am aware that ASPD is a personality disorder found in the cluster B from the DSM-V TR and I am aware that psychopathy isn't a mental disorder, nor a mental illness. It can overlap with ASPD but again it isn't what I am going for.

To not make any misunderstandings, what I am aiming for is a child who has psychopathic traits or psychopathic dimensions due to biological factors such as the dysfunction of the amygdala and prefrontal cortex. Or instead of using psychopathy, I am focused is a child who struggles emotional dysregulation, struggles feeling snd understanding emotions and can't connect or ubderstand to social norms, such as moral reasoning and the alike.

My aim is that this is the biological state of the child but I wonder how nurture would affect them as they grow up. If beinh taught well, and given a good childhood can make a difference.

Hi everyone! I’d love to hear from child psychologists or professionals experienced in assessing young children.

How do you actually evaluate the IQ of a 5-year-old child with expressive language delay?

Is it generally possible to obtain an accurate and reliable IQ score when a child has difficulty expressing their thoughts verbally?

Do you use nonverbal IQ tests or other assessment methods to measure their cognitive abilities independently of their language difficulties?

I’d really appreciate your professional insights and recommendations. Thank you!

My very shy (5F) kid just started Kindergarten this year. She made friends with her seat mate. She can be very quiet and fearful in social situations. But usually warms up quite well! However the friend let me know at a recent playdate my girl follows her around asks to stick around her, even when she tells her to play with other friends. She even goes so far as to say she will not say anything, just wants to be around her. My girl is in a LOT of activities so I'm trying this route. My question for parents is if you have experienced similar, did your kid outgrow rhis? Any tips or advice for coaching I can try? It seems to fall on deaf ears once andiety takes over. I would hate for this friend to grow sick of my little girl.

Hi everyone! I’m a PhD candidate in Counselling Psychology at McGill University, recruiting for my final doctoral study, Operation Calm. We’re gathering feedback on a nature-based mindfulness experience designed for children and teens.

We’re looking for:

• Parents of children aged 6–17: Complete a 15-minute online survey, including a short video and questions about your impressions.
• Children and teens aged 6–17: Try the experience using a smartphone-compatible VR headset and answer some questions. The headset is provided, and they get to keep it!*
• Healthcare and mental health professionals: Anyone who currently works or has previously worked with children aged 6–17, including students and trainees. Participation involves a 15-minute online survey.

Participation is limited to people living in Canada and is available in English or French. Participants can enter a draw for one of fifteen $50 CAD Amazon gift cards.

I’m especially looking for more parents! I’d really appreciate your participation or help sharing this with someone who might be interested.

Participate: https://redcap.link/operationcalm

Questions: [Brandon.benchimol-elkaim@mail.mcgill.ca](mailto:Brandon.benchimol-elkaim@mail.mcgill.ca)

* Children and teens receive a portable VR viewer that holds a smartphone—it isn’t a standalone gaming headset. You slide a compatible smartphone into the front, and the child looks through the lenses to watch a 360° nature-based mindfulness video. Looking around lets them explore the scene, making it feel more immersive than watching on a regular screen. The viewer is provided, and they get to keep it after participating. A compatible smartphone is required. Example headset

So… I was with a guy for about 12 years. When we first got together, he had a son who had just turned 5 y/o. The mom was not a constant in their life, and when she was around, she was just chaos. So it wasn’t long before my boyfriend got full custody. And unfortunately the mom faded out almost completely out of his life. I never tried to be his mom, but I did try to set good examples. The son and I got along from the beginning very well. I think it’s safe to say we bonded. There were situations when I would notice things to back this up. For example, he would confide in me things he didn’t want his dad to know. Nothing major, but things like wanting to get his middle school girlfriend at the time flowers for her bday, and was too embarrassed to ask his dad. Another time that shocked me was when he was in the dining room eating dinner with his dad, and I was in the kitchen doing something. He started choking, like for real, not making a sound, grasping at his throat choking. He came all the way into the kitchen to get help from me. Luckily, he coughed it up after like 30 seconds, and was okay. I asked him later that night why did he walk all the way into the kitchen to get my attention when he was sitting right next to his dad when it happened. All he could say was “I don’t know.” These are just a couple examples to show he trusted me a lot. I also drove him to school every day. Taught him how to read, helped him with his homework, etc.

My relationship with his dad was toxic. I tried to leave numerous times, but always went back for a variety of reasons. My bf’s son was a major one. After watching how much he went through dealing with his mom’s chaos, and eventual abandonment, I could not bring myself to tell him that I was also leaving him. Not that I wouldn’t still continue a relationship with him, but I knew that his dad would make it damn near impossible to do so if I left him. The things he would do and say just when I tried to leave were disturbing, and made it clear to me that maintaining a relationship would not happen. At least not while he was young.

So… I stuck around. And the poor son sadly witnessed arguments, and tears. As much as I tried to shield him from all that, my boyfriend didn’t share the same concern. And always said things like, “He should know you’re just going to try and leave him again, just like his mom did.” Gosh, it makes my stomach turn to think of it.

Anyways, when the son was about 17, our situation changed in such a way that I was finally able to leave the relationship and move out. BUT, I felt like I couldn’t do it in a straight forward way because my bf wouldn’t “allow it” (that’s gross, I know). I had been visiting my sister regularly about twice a month, about an hour away. One time I went to visit her like normal, but just never went back to my boyfriend. We had one or two phone calls about, and he threw a fit at first, but I knew he wouldn’t dare come to my sister’s house. And again, our situation was such that he was relieved I wasn’t coming back. He just would never dare be the one to end things. So instead he made things so unbelievably difficult for me, that I had no choice but to leave. Then he could point his finger of blame at me and tell everyone that I was the one who left him. 🙄

Since then, I have maintained a relationship with my boyfriend’s son without any real issues from his dad. Since he’s older, has his own phone, his own car, etc., I don’t need his dad to go through in order to contact him. Years ago, I would have had to go through his dad to set any visits up, and I know it would have been a nightmare.

I don’t really bring up his dad to him when we talk. But he brings him up sometimes, and with some of the stuff he says, he sees now and understands that I was very unhappy, and that his dad was a total asshole (his words, not mine).
I feel like he’s very close to asking me, “Why did you stay for so long?”

Here is the question I have (sorry I took so long to get here)… if he does end up asking me that question. Is it okay to tell him that I stayed because of him? That I couldn’t bear the thought of him thinking I was leaving him too, after what he went through with his mom? I don’t want to put any guilt on him though, but I don’t know how else to answer that question.

I desperatelyneed advice on this, since I'm not sure what to do anymore.

I caught her on cutting herself, while she was trying to clean the injuries in her room.

She has a psychologists, a psychiatrist now. Before my daughter had 2 psychologists, 1 psychiatrist, 1 therapist, and multiple other. I tried to talk with her, but she pushes me away. She doesn't have friends too. I don't know what to do.

She already takes anti-depressants prescribed by her psychiatrist, sertraline 100 mg.

I caught my (7y 11mo) daughter masturbating and it hasn't been the first time this year. The first time I took YouTube off her tablet and this time I put her in time out for 20 min while horrified. I've asked several times if anyone showed her that, did anything to her, talked about it or she saw or heard anything on any shows. She says no to all of the above in a way I believe her. She was very interested in her privates as a toddler, but I read that was normal for toddlers. I haven't ever heard of it being normal for 7 years old though and have been devastated thinking her life is going to be terrible if she's hypersexual when older and can't have a normal relationship or something similar I've read from other people in this sub. I'm really hoping it's not such an anomaly for this age. And how the heck do I deal with it??? TIA

I’m scared my daughter will struggle as a teenager the way I did

My daughter is only 7, but some of her behaviours already worry me about her future because I see so much of myself in her at that age.

I had a really rough adolescence. I was an extremely emotional, impulsive teenager who struggled with depression, self-harm, and a lot of angst. I made some awful decisions, lied about being suicidal, dropped out of school for a semester, and generally went through a very tumultuous period. Somehow, I got through it and eventually became much more emotionally stable as an adult.

My daughter reminds me so much of my younger self. She's extremely sensitive, easily overwhelmed by frustration, sadness, anger, and anxiety. Things that seem minor to other kids can feel catastrophic to her. She worries about everything, and it often seems like her mind just doesn't know how to settle down. I suspect I had undiagnosed ADHD growing up, and we're currently in the process of having her assessed.

I'm genuinely scared about what adolescence might look like for her when hormones, peer pressure, and everything else come into play. I worry she'll struggle with her mental health or make the same kinds of reckless decisions I did. I know I'm probably projecting some of my own experiences onto her, and she's her own person, not a mini version of me. But it's hard not to worry when I recognize so many of the same patterns.

I also feel like growing up today comes with challenges we didn't have to the same extent, like social media, cyberbullying, and all the other pressures kids face.

I'm trying so hard to help her develop emotional regulation, resilience, and healthier ways of coping with big feelings. She sees a play therapist who is helping her with anxiety and identifying unhelpful thought patterns, which is something I never had growing up. But sometimes I wonder whether I'm actually getting through to her or whether I'm doing enough.

I know she's only 7, and there's so much time for her to grow and develop. I also know I eventually found my footing as an adult, and I hope she will too. I just wish I knew how to help her navigate these big emotions now so that she has better tools than I did when she reaches those difficult teenage years.

For those of you who had emotionally intense, sensitive children who later became teenagers, or who were those children yourselves, what helped? Is there anything you wish your parents had done differently, or anything you did as a parent that genuinely helped your child build resilience and navigate adolescence?

I think I just need some perspective from people who've been through this, because honestly, the worry sometimes keeps me up at night.

I mention this because it isn’t a one off joke and he seems like actually alarmed or weirded out by it… he didn’t mention much to me like anything in detail but he’s said to me his dad doesn’t feel like his dad anymore, and that he knows he was taken by an alien or the government to clone him and change who he is. He just looks like his dad but he isn’t his dad… (obviously not verbatim, but these seem to be the main things he brings up.) I’m confused on what to do about this or what it means, it kinda disturbs me a bit? I don’t know. Can anyone help me out here? He’s young, 7 years. He’s also been avoiding his dad more or just being a bit more emotionally closed off? Idk. And also from what he has said, and it’s very far and few between when I get him to speak about it, he does know he’s still his dad. Like he doesn’t think it’s a different person entirely? But it’s like he feels as if he’s fake to him, like he’s become fake? I don’t even know how to explain this idk

Edit; necessary information.

He doesn’t complain about anything during the day, but about once a week over the past month he’ll lay in bed unable to sleep and start crying and say his heart feels weird and says he’s having a heart attack. It makes me feel so bad and my wife is convinced it’s anxiety since she has it as well. I have medical anxiety so he’s probably getting hit with both of them. It will take him a while (approx. 30 minutes usually) to calm down before he’ll go to sleep. I will lay my hand on his chest, both to calm him down and try to feel for any irregularities in his heartbeat. From what I can feel he seems fine. It’s both sad and scary to deal with and I’m coming here for advice on helping comfort him, or should we seek out some sort of testing to make sure his heart is fine. I would just find it odd for his heart to only have problems at night. Thank you!

My cousin 11F loves coming to our house 21M and we're always playing games and having a good time. She usually stays over for a couple days but when it's time for her to go home, she throws a tantrum every single time. Her parents have to force her home. I don't know how to handle the situation because she would usually cling to me before leaving and try to get me to convince her parents to stay for a couple more days. This always puts me in a hard spot because on one hand I love my cousin very much and want her to stay but she does this every time and she needs to go back home because she has school. What is the best way for me to handle the situation when she does this?

I feel like I need a lot of help with this one. My seventeen year old has been asking for flashcards for a while now since they're what he uses most for revision.

Well, me and my fella went out today so we decided to look for some but we couldn't find any at all in the shops we went in. So we got him a reporters notebook and thought that he could cut the pages in half so he could use them like he would normal flashcards.

Now, he said thank you and took it to his room. But, not long after I heard him start crying and heard something hit the wall– and when I went up to look later when he was having a nap, I saw it on his floor. I imagine it's what he'd thrown.

I'm just so confused and I don't know why he'd do this, he's normally pretty level-headed and calm so this was really odd. He seemed fine when he came down for dinner as well so I have no idea why it was so sudden, I'd love for just a bit of direction so maybe I could talk to him about it. Especially since it's just so out-of-character for him.