Vent

[u/SkyZealousideal4185]

Shortly after my(female) 5th birthday, my half sister (11yrs old), coerced me into sexual acts. At the time, I obviously didn’t understand it was wrong. I’m now 19 and she is 24. When this started to affect me around 13, I did 6 years of trauma therapy. I have never liked her, only ever tolerated her, because of what she did along with her personality in general. She has always bullied me since I was a child and before she SA’d me. Even to this day, she talks negatively about me.

Recently I found out that she had also been SA’d as a child by another family member. This is the main reason for me making a post. I feel such conflicting feelings like maybe I shouldn’t hate her. At the same time, I don’t want to give her excuses because at 11 years old I knew right from wrong. I also knew you should never touch family in that way, before I realized I was a victim.

Another reason I don’t want to give her the benefit of the doubt is because, even though I was SA’d, I never grew up and assaulted anyone just because it happened to me.

I know the way I feel is still valid, I’m just so conflicted on what this should mean now.

[u/Hefty_Ad5164]

The feelings and emotions are conflicting I get it. Like you said, at 11 years old I knew right from wrong”. You’re completely valid to have anger toward her, but you don’t have to stress yourself out more because you sympathize for her as well. Idk that’s just me, because I have the same thoughts about my cousin and what she did to me. But it does take time. BELIVE me, I’m still healing