Okay, so I (21F) have been seeing this guy “Jake” (24M) for the past four months, and honestly, it’s been a ride. We met on Bumble back in November when my car battery died (because of course it did), and Jake came to boost it. Afterward, we got coffee and ended up talking for a couple of hours. it just felt so easy right away.
But the last four months have been kinda all over the place. We had some ups and downs — I even blocked his number at one point because he was giving too chill energy, and feeling like an option sucks. But then we started talking again, and things just… fell into place. I’ve met his friends, he’s met a couple of mine, and I’ve met a whole chunk of his family at this point. We’ve gone on cute little dates — meals together, walks where we’ve fed the birds like an old married couple, and even walked on the ice together like two idiots. It’s been lowkey and natural, and I think that’s what’s been so different this time around.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that not everything has to be so intense or immediate. We’ve been taking things slow, and I think that’s why it’s actually working. He’s not super flashy with his feelings, but he shows up, makes me laugh, and makes me feel safe — and that’s what matters.
And honestly? I think I just decided to honor my lover girl era. Like, why fight it? I know I love love — I’m a certified lover girl at heart. So instead of overthinking and playing it cool, I just leaned into it. I stopped worrying about “what if” and just let myself feel it.
Anyway, yesterday we were just hanging out, talking and cuddling, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I just hit him with, “Hey Jake. Can I be your girlfriend?”
And he smiled and said, “Of course.” 🥹 Then I told him, “You’re so sweet,” and he said, “No, you’re the sweetest.” 😭
And THEN — right after I asked, he goes, “Hey… will you be my girlfriend?” Like?? Sir, I already claimed the title, but I appreciate the confirmation LMAO
So yeah… I have a boyfriend now. And it feels so good to just have it out in the open. He’s been calling me “babe” and “honey” randomly and honestly? I’m kinda obsessed. Sometimes you just gotta stop overthinking and let your lover girl era thrive.
UPDATE:
I posted here a while ago about this guy I met on Bumble. The one who helped boost my car who I asked out? Yeah. At the time I thought maybe he was different. Spoiler alert: he wasn’t.
We ended up dating for just over a month but honestly, it never really felt right. It was more like I was in a relationship by title, but a situationship in practice. I supported him through a lot. He was dealing with some personal stuff, and I tried to be there. But when it came to my own stress? It was like it didn’t matter.
I’m in nursing school, working, trying to build something for myself. Meanwhile, he quit his job with no plan, doesn’t have his high school diploma, and sleeps until 3pm and he’s 24 years old, (fully dependent on mama btw) but somehow I was made to feel like I was being dramatic for feeling overwhelmed.
One night I finally opened up to him (in his car, of course) and explained how stressed I was and that I just wish he’d check in after ny exams and stuff. He told me he’d check in on me. He never did. And that was kind of the moment it hit me: this isn’t going to get better.
Also, and not to be crass but during sex he once brought out a vibrator, got me right to the edge, then randomly stopped and said “should I get a towel?” Never got one. I never finished. It’s honestly the perfect metaphor for the whole relationship.
I realized this wasn’t serving me. I’m glad I figured it out now instead of wasting more time hoping for someone to change who clearly wasn’t planning to. I even saw some of the red flags early on but didn’t want to believe them. Now I do.
I blocked him without explanation…Even his mom ended up calling me, which says more than I probably need to say here.
I’m good now. Genuinely. I don’t hate him, I just know I deserve better. I’ve moved on, and he’s not coming with me.
Thanks for coming to my car-boost-to-breakup arc.
