r/Bumble • u/deeznutzzzzzz6 • Jul 30 '26

Funny Coffee Dates SUCK

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Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but I thought the whole point of a coffee date (usually first date) was intended for low pressure and emotional energy? It’s perfect because if things work out you can plan something more extravagant on date 2 but if the vibes aren’t there you can exit quickly. It makes me wonder what else she refuses to apologize for lol

693 Upvotes

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154

u/Wonderful_Toe_7776 Jul 30 '26

I’ll never understand why some people hate coffee dates. I think they’re perfect for a first date. But like you said, everyone has their own opinions on it.

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u/[deleted] Jul 30 '26 edited Aug 13 '26

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u/[deleted] Jul 30 '26

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u/[deleted] Jul 30 '26 edited Aug 13 '26

39

u/K-Hunter- Jul 30 '26

I’m no longer sure if this thread is a joke

12

u/Fuzzy-Jaguar-1828 Jul 30 '26

Is that a yes?

1

u/Unusual-Wind8900 Jul 31 '26

Do you also have a screaming cannibal in the next cell over?

3

u/thedrinkmonster Jul 31 '26

Mid Atlantic represent!

1

u/SophisticatedScreams Jul 31 '26

What is "shot up H?"

18

u/TheConcreteGhost Jul 30 '26

Everyone does not care for coffee and tea. There are other things that can work and not be expensive: smoothies, ice cream, boba, music at the park, free art exhibits, etc.
I would prefer something other than coffee, but I am not such a snob that I don’t have a handful of reasonable alternatives.

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u/Adept_Librarian_7001 Jul 30 '26

I think the point of the bio went over your head

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u/TheConcreteGhost Jul 30 '26

Naaaa I get it, but it would be wrong to assume all who say similar things are mining for the same gold

10

u/Adept_Librarian_7001 Jul 30 '26

It literally says "lame and CHEAP". That means she wants men to take her somewhere more expensive.

4

u/Phobos_Asaph Jul 31 '26

I mean then you suggest an alternative to coffee. I feel a lot of people don’t understand that if you don’t like a date idea you Should propose an alternative

2

u/SeriousGreaze Jul 31 '26

Tbf the context is “they’re lame and cheap” so I don’t think she’d take the free art exhibit very well…

1

u/TheConcreteGhost Jul 31 '26

What I see is a bunch of guys calling this woman a selfish Golddigger. So my question is why are they even thinking about her when she’s clearly not a person they would want to be with because of her attitude? OR is it that they still would want to be with her even though she’s so awful?

2

u/chicagonbftm Aug 02 '26

I don’t like coffee dates bc I use coffee to trigger bowel movements 🫪

1

u/Sure_Eye9025 Jul 31 '26

'Coffee date' doesn't necesarilly mean tea/coffee, it is talking about it being in a cafe/coffee shop. A relaxed comfortable environment (not starbucks definitely) where they will serve a variety of drinks and snacks while you chat

1

u/TheNebulaWolf Aug 01 '26

Coffee is cheap, quick, and avaliable everywhere. It’s great for a first time meeting type of date. You get to know what the other person likes and plan the following dates accordingly

1

u/TheConcreteGhost Aug 01 '26

Personally, I would still prefer someplace else. I wasn’t even a coffee drinker before four years ago. The smell of coffee literally made me feel sick. I can’t regret anyone who has a strong feeling about not wanting to go to a coffee shop, but it is reasonable to have a comparable alternative like an ice cream parlor.

1

u/yossarian328 Aug 06 '26

boba is tea

Most coffee places have a wide variety of drink options, especially smoothies.

15

u/InsideMortgage8650 Jul 31 '26

I’m a guy and I just don’t like them personally. Dinner is great! I don’t mind paying $60-$70 even if things don’t work out. At least I got to meet someone new and talk about life. Coffee dates feel too disengaged for me.

3

u/Mar136 Aug 02 '26

Same. Coffee dates are 1) not dates, they’re just ‘meets’ and 2) often have more of a business meeting / interview vibe, which is fine if that’s what you’re going for, but I prefer romantic vibes for dates.

4

u/Acceptable_Carry_589 Aug 03 '26

Where do you live? Coffee dates are so much more romantic than dinner dates. Restaurants are loud and the conversation is constantly interrupted by a waiter. At a café you can sit in a pretty environment with cool music, sometimes books, comfy chairs, you can talk for hours.

1

u/Flat-Text3127 Jul 31 '26

I went on one once as someone who hates coffee which made it even worse, but even if I did I think it kind of blew.

13

u/renebeans Jul 30 '26

I’ve never kissed anyone on a coffee date. They aren’t romantic.

I’ll do a coffee date date, no problem, but they’re not going anywhere without support from more dates

18

u/Evening_Scale_5755 Jul 30 '26

I don't usually kiss anyone on the first date.

12

u/confused_grenadille Jul 30 '26

It’s intended to be pressure free introduction, not a romantic date.

8

u/Jolly-Barracuda2366 Jul 30 '26

Well yeah, I wouldn’t expect a whole relationship of just coffee dates.

But still can be a useful low pressure starting point.

4

u/Temporary_Rooster371 Jul 31 '26

as someone who has been married, I can confirm that a large part of the relationship was spent consuming coffee together.

1

u/Flat-Text3127 Jul 31 '26

Not in my previous marriage in which neither of us drank coffee, owned a coffee pot, or went for it together even a single time. Lmao.

8

u/Brief_Efficiency3500 Jul 30 '26

So you're expecting instantaneous make-outs from the word go?

5

u/Bludandy Jul 30 '26

Why can't one be romantic if the shop is atmospheric and cute? Coffee, pastries, soft music, hopefully dim lighting, that is a romantic setting.

1

u/Mar136 Aug 02 '26

That’d be lovely, but most coffee dates are Starbucks (or similar / even more drabby coffee places) and the expectation is literally just coffee, which is awkward for me. I prefer a meal or an activity (doesn’t have to be expensive) for a natural progression and end time.

2

u/Sure_Eye9025 Jul 31 '26

I have, we went to a local 'hipsterish' cafe, and sat close together on a sofa. Had a few drinks (hot chocolate with whipped cream as neither of us drank coffee), played some arcade games, looked through the vinyl collection while talking music, then kissed on the way home.

I think people are hearing coffee date and think sitting across from one another in a sterlie starbucks like environment

1

u/briber67 Jul 30 '26

I kissed a woman on a coffee date. I not only kissed her, I kissed her at the moment of my arrival. It was our first face to face meeting.

We met online.

We had talked on the phone.

Weve been married for 20 years this June.

1

u/renebeans Jul 30 '26

Oh to be dating 20 years ago. How the times have changed 😅

Share more!! What site did you meet on, how long were you chatting before meeting?

1

u/AudaciousCouture Jul 31 '26

The cool trick with coffee dates is they're nice 20 minute previews that can easily transition to a real date. "Hey I'm having fun, wanna go get a proper drink?"

Or you can bail guilt free and safely if its not going great.

2

u/renebeans Jul 31 '26

Could happen, happened for my friend, but it assumes both people have nothing going on after. Most people book an hour or two for coffee and have something to do after. I couldn’t continue the date when asked.

0

u/ScrotallyBoobular Jul 31 '26

I've kissed(and more) quite a few women in some VERY unromantic scenarios lol. Far more casual than a coffee date.

So what's your point?

Some of us get greeted by a woman on the street and have sex, and get their first name. In that order. Others need to be wined and dined for a month or two before unshackling their cobwebbed nether regions. We're all different bags of meat.

2

u/TrontRaznik Jul 30 '26

No romance, too bright, too casual. For me a date is a date and the atmosphere makes a big difference. I also love good food and cocktails so even if I wasn't going on a date there's a good chance I'd be going to a restaurant. Might as well do it together.

2

u/Marshineer Jul 31 '26

Maybe there’s no romance because you’re not good at flirting?

1

u/TrontRaznik Jul 31 '26

Lol no. I'm plenty good, thanks. But go ahead and pretend that "romantic restaurant" isn't a thing

1

u/Marshineer Jul 31 '26

Well considering I find coffee and walking dates plenty romantic, I’d say it’s a skill issue on your part bro. If you need a romantic restaurant to feel romance, you’re a sucker and you deserve to be parted from your money. 

1

u/Late-Hat-9144 Aug 01 '26

The first couple of dates arent for romance, you dont even know the person yet, you certainly dont yet have an emotional connection to them.

They're for getting to know the person, seeing if you both have things in common and if there may be a connection.

1

u/TrontRaznik Aug 01 '26

I have lots of romantic first dates. I'm a romantic dude. 

1

u/Late-Hat-9144 Aug 01 '26

If thats what you want to do, fine go for it... I personally find it incredibly cringe - like, how do you know what the other perspn finds romantic until you get to know them?

Personally I dont think people should be rushing into "romance" too fast until after they get to know each other.

Im long out of the datong game now luckily, but when I was still dating I would never accept dinner invitations until the 3rd or 4th date - I wanted low expectations dates for the first couple so I could make sure the person I was seeing wasnt a whole Chinese military parade of red flags.

1

u/StumpyOPepys Jul 30 '26

Because they are vacuous losers who can't hold adult conversations and are just looking for free shit and possibly a sugar daddy.

ETA: I would never propose a coffee date and have never been on one. But I get it.

1

u/Flat-Text3127 Jul 31 '26

I have had like 3 coffees in my entire life so no I don’t want to do a coffee date because coffee houses have bad tea and almost nothing I can enjoy on the menu. Taking someone who doesn’t drink coffee to a coffee date is a little inconsiderate so maybe before asking someone on one, ask if they even drink it first

1

u/Ok_Knee2784 Jul 31 '26

But they are not even first dates. They are actually first meetings. Most guys are going to be surprised by what the woman looks like without filters and 10 years older than her pics. Not to mention the extra weight.

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u/[deleted] Jul 30 '26

3

u/123noodle Jul 31 '26

Why can't you have a conversation in a cafe? Genuinely what is the difference between talking in a cafe versus a restaurant, aside from consuming different foods.

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u/[deleted] Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26

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u/bigskippah Jul 31 '26

because you have a bad association doesn’t mean the idea is bad. You can grab a coffee, go for a walk, go to a museum etc but seems like you want free food

1

u/123noodle Jul 31 '26

Honestly it sounds like a personal thing with you. There's a reason coffee dates are so common, others actually enjoy them.

2

u/Shot-Trade-9550 Jul 30 '26

did OP find your profile and post it here? Sorry you felt called out, a hit dog will holler after all

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u/[deleted] Jul 30 '26

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u/Mar136 Aug 02 '26

lol you struck a nerve because ‘trying to optimize against a loss’ is the exact approach they’re using. I agree that it’s completely unromantic and a waste of time.

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u/Ok-Negotiation-8834 Jul 30 '26

Especially when the girls are using old pics and they fatter in person. The moms do that one big time. Is their Pre pregnancy pics

2

u/Fearless-Feature-830 Jul 30 '26

I mean bald men wear hats in their pics.

-2

u/somroaxh Jul 30 '26

Ye but you can’t really choose or change bald genetics. Fat dudes use 8 year old pictures too

2

u/Fearless-Feature-830 Jul 30 '26

You can go to turkey and change it real quick

1

u/AgreeablePie Jul 30 '26

That's... an odd thing to focus on

1

u/TrontRaznik Jul 30 '26

I wish this was true for me. I love fat chicks but live in a health conscious area and all the thick ones are already married :/

-9

u/franniedelrey Jul 30 '26

I don’t want to drink coffee after 12pm. It’s really that simple.

9

u/Combatenjoyer23 Jul 30 '26

You don't have to order coffee then. You can order a smoothie or a sparkling water or something.

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u/franniedelrey Jul 30 '26 edited Jul 30 '26

It’s low effort. I understand why women won’t accept it and I am one who didn’t. I’m married and have been for years and my husband, not once, planned or even offered low effort dates such as “coffee”. & for any woman reading this, you don’t have to accept it either.

There are men who will offer coffee and there are men who will offer experiences (dinner, seeing a play, doing pottery, a picnic, gallery walk etc). Generous men exist. Men who don’t view spending money as a problem. Men who don’t view you as less than because you have standards for yourself. Men who want you to enjoy your time and will willingly pay for it. The type of effort a man shows on the first few dates is a guarantee of what he will show you in a relationship/dating.

Men you can downvote all you want. You know women won’t accept the low bs yall offer and are wanting women to prove themselves to you and there will always be men out there who believe in the exact opposite of you and have better results. Scream into the void.

11

u/saxman90 Jul 30 '26

Brain dead take. There’s nothing wrong with coffee dates. My first date with my wife was a coffee date. It’s a great way to get to know someone without investing too much for something that most likely won’t work out. The date ideas you suggested are great for after you get to know someone. I sorta think you’re being rude to suggest anyone who goes on coffee dates has low standards. I know my wife doesn’t nor do I. Anyways, you do you, but maybe think about being less judgmental in the future.

11

u/Combatenjoyer23 Jul 30 '26

Yeah. No. Lmao. This is a piss poor attempt at trying to set a standard that should not be set.

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u/MonokumaRed Jul 30 '26

Using the same logic the type of woman complaining about coffee dates will always ask for money and "effort". Sounds like a liability to me, and an annoying one at that.

9

u/Soft_Maximum_3730 Jul 30 '26

Why on earth would I want to commit to dinner with a stranger??? I met a guy for smoothies once and the second we met I knew it was a nope. And then I still had to order and drink my smoothie. Can’t imagine pretending a whole dinner. I don’t need or want free stuff enough I guess.

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u/[deleted] Jul 30 '26

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u/[deleted] Jul 30 '26

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u/[deleted] Jul 30 '26

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u/Shot-Trade-9550 Jul 30 '26

She mods 4 subreddits, enough said.

4

u/Sufficient-Berry-827 Jul 30 '26

That explains a lot 😆

1

u/franniedelrey Jul 30 '26

Considering that I am apart of the alphabet mafia and have to witness my gay friends date is why i’m qualified to make the comment I did. You threw shade and then wanna cry homophobia when you felt hit. Cmon baby, let’s not do that.

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u/[deleted] Jul 30 '26

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u/franniedelrey Jul 30 '26

i’m not on here to convince you that i eat pussy to gain your approval, don’t know you or care to know you. you’re a stranger on the internet shouting homophobia because gay men do the same shit on grindr/jack’d that straight men do on bumble.

don’t throw shade and then wanna yell homophobia because you know what I’m saying is true. gay men will sit here and have bios that say “no fats, no blacks and no fems”. gay men will sit here and refuse to settle down because they wanna continue to sending unsolicited dick pics, entertain exes and lie about being on prep. gay men are messy boots who will fuck for a place to stay. gay men all go after the same white man archetype. gay men will get a rush trying to convince a straight man that he’s gay. gay men have a boatload of challenges in their dating world and you wanted to try to shit on me and act better than. i can go on and on because i have to witness my ladies, theydies and gays get played by gay men who do the same shit straight men do. & yall have it much worse, completely worse. you can be out and proud baby, but don’t try to play with me because you don’t like that I have standards. Men are gonna be men tho, gay or straight, yall love going back and forth with cis women and I’m not the one.

you tried to act like you were better than me or other women and I reminded you that you weren’t. you don’t have to like it, queenie 🫶🏽

respond again if you want to, and i’ll continue to read you.

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u/[deleted] Jul 30 '26

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u/franniedelrey Jul 30 '26

I don’t like coffee so never entertained coffee dates before I was married. it doesn’t make me a gold digger, money hungry or pretentious. It means I would not enjoy going to a coffee shop to get to know someone. I would go to a coffee shop with a colleague.

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u/[deleted] Jul 30 '26

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u/franniedelrey Jul 30 '26

we have different approaches to dating. & you are correct, if I don’t enjoy myself because I value creativity in a man, then i’m not accepting it. I’m not compromising on MY values. A man who only has coffee to offer on the first date is not for ME.

Seems like a woman who is willing to accept that would be for you and that’s OKAY. I’m not that woman and my husband is not that man which is why we are married because we have the same value. He likes planning dates, being creative and curating experiences and so do I. He would not offer a coffee date and I would not accept one, thus us being together.

coffee is for colleagues. it’s not romantic and there’s no effort. if you like coffee and she likes coffee, then great. you don’t need to prove your dating standards to me. i don’t care about them lol.

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u/[deleted] Jul 30 '26

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u/franniedelrey Jul 30 '26

You like coffee shops. I don’t. I think it’s lazy and I would think you’re uncreative, there are plenty of women here who would be fine with what you’re offering. They would be your type.

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u/[deleted] Jul 30 '26

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u/franniedelrey Jul 31 '26

Your type is a woman who would accept coffee dates. I’m not wrong about that. If you like coffee dates, it’s safe to assume that your type is a woman who would also enjoy coffee dates, because why would your type be a woman who doesn’t enjoy them?

I’m not going to continue to go back and forth with you. Enjoy your night :)

4

u/Shot-Trade-9550 Jul 30 '26

I feel sorry for your husband, if he even exists. He settled for a reddit mod of 4 subs. Literally impossible for you to be mid class, much less high.

2

u/a_little_peryton Jul 30 '26

Effort does not equal spending money and I'm tired of gold diggers like you giving all women a bad reputation. If a man heard I liked bird watching and researched a popular spot for us to check out, that shows significantly more effort than some dude who takes me to an expensive restaurant and then assumes he bought sex and attention.

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u/two-cans-sam Jul 30 '26

^ This is a great reason to suggest coffee for a first date with a stranger.

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u/[deleted] Jul 30 '26

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u/franniedelrey Jul 30 '26

Even jesus would prefer wine babe xoxoxo

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u/Weird-Box-1094 Jul 30 '26

Alcohol = beer googles. You want to vet them with a clear head on a first date.

5

u/Same_Beginning8090 Jul 30 '26

So order something else?

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u/Weird-Box-1094 Jul 30 '26

Me too! My go to drink was a hot chocolate.