Out of curiosity, I’m wondering what stance you all have in the pro-choice vs pro-life topic since we are all obviously pregnant or have been pregnant. No judgement on my end - I just want to see what the thoughts are out there.

For me, I was always pro-choice even before pregnancy. But now, I’m 37 weeks pregnant and so so so uncomfortable and I cannot fathom being forced to do this against your will. I also recognize that I have every single possible privilege - a loving partner, financial stability, health, paid maternity leave, etc - and the whole experience of pregnancy is still so physically, emotionally, and mentally difficult to navigate. I’m not complaining about my pregnancy because, like I said before, I have all the possible privileges. The pregnancy was planned and my future daughter is so wanted and will be so loved. I’ve just come to the conclusion that even in the best case scenario, pregnancy is no joke. I can only imagine what someone with less resources, or more complications, or any circumstances outside of the best case scenario must be going through. I don’t know how to process any other opinion and just want to hear what the general thoughts are in this community.

So I just got back from a baseball game and I took my baby with me. We were sat next to some older ladies that were ogling the baby.

My baby was wearing some sound cancelling headphone things that protect the ears and the women were talking about them.

“Oooh those are such a great idea. You know, those would be such a good baby shower gift for Judy that isn’t on the registry”. It was an interesting comment bc of how many women in my baby bumps group were so hurt or confused when people ignored the registry they worked to hard to create. And here were these two women who were excited to get something not on the registry on purpose. What a huge disconnect!

It was at that moment that I realized that when people buy off registry, it’s because they think their gift is gonna be the unique thing that the mom didn’t think of.

“FTM here. DH and I would love advice. Our LO is 3mo and not STTN at all. We’ve been EBFing for two months and both trying to WFH. We tried CIO but now my ML is over I really need sleep! We can’t afford for either of us to be SAHPs. Also would love advice regarding BFing, we’re considering EPing or CF because my BM supply has dipped….”

… Please, for the love of god, can we chill with some of these acronyms? Yeah some of them like WFH and MIL are more common outside of parenting circles, so they’re fine. But some of them (especially DH and LO) are over the top.

I feel like this alienates people who want to join this sub and many others, because sometimes posts are almost CODED to the point it’s difficult to read for people who are first joining.

ETA: “FTM” - first time mom “DH” - darling/dear husband (BARF) “LO” - little one “STTN” - sleeping through the night “EBF” - exclusive breastfeeding “WFH” - work from home “CIO” - cry it out “ML” - maternity leave “SAHP” - stay at home parent “BFing” - breastfeeding “EPing” - exclusive pumping “CF” - combo feeding “BM” - breastmilk

Thanks for the awards! I’m glad that overwhelmingly people find the acronyms as obnoxious as I do.

I'm curious to see what y'all come up with. My daughter is due in early spring, and I want to give her a name that evokes the feeling of the earth coming alive again after winter, of sun peeking through fresh leaves, of the first day you can shed your coat and feel the sun on your skin.

I’ll go first: various plants that my mom dug up from her yard and brought over. They needed to be planted (with a shovel) and regularly watered. No offers to plant or water were given.
…I was also scolded for the subsequent death of said plants.
What “gifts” did you receive?

my husband loves hosting thanksgiving for his immediate family every year (dad, mom, stepmom, brothers, their wives and now kids), while I don’t really care about the holiday. he does take a more active role in hosting, prepping, cleanup every year. this year, I am due with our 1st baby early Nov, so I will be about 2 weeks pp during Thanksgiving.

he still wants to host, in fact, he says it will be easy because we can just get one of those restaurant take home meals and we can take care of the baby in the comfort of our own home. And it will be a good time for everyone to meet the baby.

however I still don’t want to clean our home and and do all the prep that will still be required of hosting like getting utensils, plates, cups, drinks, side dishes, even getting ready and ”presentable”.

am I thinking too much of it? I really don’t know what having a newborn requires and I’m generally more introverted.

I’m 40m and she’s 37f. We’re at 35 weeks as of yesterday with our first, and we keep having thoughts about being older parents and wondering how our baby girl will feel about it.

We’ve been together since 2007 and married since 2020, so we’ve experienced plenty of life with just the two of us. For the longest time, we couldn’t decide if we wanted kids, and we kind of just left it up to fate – if it happened, it happened. Well, as we got older and made our peace with it not happening (and I bought a two-door vehicle lol), we got the news this past December that we’re having a baby girl and we cannot wait to meet her.

But with me being 40 and her being in her late 30s, we’re worried we’ll struggle keeping up with a toddler or have health issues when she’s in school down the road, etc. I know nowadays a lot of us millennials are waiting a while to have children, but wife and I are still struggling a bit with it all.

“Older” parents, how have you dealt with this? Or how have you felt having older parents yourself?

If so- did you use ovulation strips and did you have sex multiple times in the ovulation window?

Not pregnant but possibly trying in the very near future for my first. I obviously know there isn't a "best" month to give birth, but I'm curious what month you gave birth and what you like/don't like about it, pros/cons of certain seasons (like winter vs summer, for example. I was born in February and always hated it, lol). Thanks!

I’m at a loss. All I hear is stories of how hard it is to be a working parent and my lack of a support system js freaking me out. I don’t know if I can do this and if I can be happy doing this. My child doesn’t deserve a resentful parent. Please tell me something positive about your life as a parent.

Edit: THANK YOU to every single comment. I’m overwhelmed in the best way and will save these comments for when I have those hard nights to remind me how beautiful it is to be a mom.

I mean, obviously. I’m 38+1 and I’m clearly pregnant. I feel pregnant. This was planned. I’m 37 years old. My husband and I wanted this and saw fertility specialists for this. I’m clearly having a baby.

But….what? I can’t wrap my head around the idea that sometime within the next two weeks someone is going to hand me a child and then that child will come home with me forever. And there will just…be a baby there? Like all the time? And it’s ours????!! I’m 37 years old and I feel so unprepared!!!! Whose bright idea was it to allow me a baby?!?

It just feels so…not real. Am I going nuts?!

What is the most intimidating alpha in the mommy group packing in her white luxury SUV? Any and all answers welcome, from strollers to carriers to headbands to binkies to whatever. What are THE indicators of a luxurious life with a bébé. I need to know this because Reasons.

Edit: Let me clarify this is for a completely lighthearted and harmless reason, not about keeping up with the Joneses (or the Kardashians)!!! Basically, this is a joke.

My partner and I are both in our 30s and we’ve been together for over 3.5 years. We’ve talked many times about our future and what it would be like to become parents.
I have a very stable job with good pay and benefits. My boyfriend’s situation is a little different. He has a job, but he’s still unsure about what he wants to do long-term career-wise. I have my own apartment, and we usually spend about half of the week together.
Even though I have a good job, I recently decided to go back to school for a career change. My current career is stable, but I’ve been wanting to pursue something different.
I recently found out that I’m pregnant. This was completely unexpected because I’ve been on birth control for a long time and haven’t missed a dose. When I told my boyfriend, I was scared, but I was also excited.
At first, he seemed to take the news really well. He told me that he would be there for me throughout the entire pregnancy and that he was happy we would be doing this together.
Our original plan was to get married first and then have children, so this obviously wasn’t how we planned for it to happen. However, we had talked before about what we would do if I accidentally became pregnant and we had both agreed that we would keep the baby.
Yesterday, the day after I told him I was pregnant, he came over to my apartment. He wanted me to take more pregnancy tests to confirm it, so I did. They were positive. He hugged me and kissed me, but then he told me we needed to have a serious conversation.
He told me that he had already pictured what our lives could look like as a family. He said he knew the baby would be incredibly loved and that becoming a father could end up being one of the greatest things that ever happened to him.
But then the conversation completely changed.
He told me that he wasn’t ready. He brought up the fact that the pregnancy wasn’t planned, that we aren’t married yet and that he doesn’t feel stable enough. He also asked me whether I had gotten pregnant on purpose.
He brought this up three or four different times.
That absolutely broke my heart and I started crying. I couldn't understand why he would think I would ever do something like that to him. We’ve been together for more than three years and I would never intentionally get pregnant without my partner’s knowledge or consent. This wasn’t my plan either. I had pictured us getting married and having children around three years from now.
He then told me that he thinks we should terminate the pregnancy because he isn’t ready.
He gave me his reasons, but he also started listing what he considered my reasons for having an abortion, including the fact that I’m going back to school and that this pregnancy wasn’t planned.
The problem is that those aren't reasons why I want an abortion. I don't want one.
I told him that terminating the pregnancy had never even crossed my mind. Especially because we had previously discussed what we would do if an accidental pregnancy ever happened and we had both said we would keep the baby.
I haven't been able to stop crying. I have so many emotions right now.
He keeps telling me that he’s here to support me, but what happened during that conversation didn’t feel like support. It felt like he kept trying to convince me why we should terminate the pregnancy, even after I told him that wasn't what I wanted.
I understand that he’s scared. Honestly, I’m scared too. This wasn't our timeline or our plan. But I also feel hurt, confused, and almost betrayed because we had talked about this exact possibility before, and now that it has actually happened, his answer is completely different.
I don't expect him to magically not be scared, but I also don't know how to process him saying he supports me while repeatedly telling me why he thinks I should terminate a pregnancy that I want to keep.
Has anyone gone through something similar with their partner? How did you handle it? Did your partner eventually come around after the initial shock, or did this permanently change your relationship?

Let me just say. I think gender disappointment is valid. It’s often something that can be in our subconscious and some people may not realize they even have a preference until they find out. Some might have a preference and feel that disappointment finding out they are expecting the opposite gender. I won’t and don’t shame someone for that. It’s normal to feel some disappointment, reach acceptance and then move on.

Lately, I’ve noticed more and more posts that are honestly going so much deeper than this and it’s concerning. And actually really upsetting to read. There is a difference between disappointment and devastation. Being devastated to such extreme levels I have seen should not be normalized. A couple months back I read a post where a person only envisioned their baby being a girl, and upon finding out baby is a boy, they considered termination and pursing IVF to have a girl. I’ve read so many posts saying they straight up “don’t want a boy”. It breaks my heart for these babies.

Do not try to become pregnant if you cannot accept your child for who they are and may become. Our job as parents is to love and accept our babies as they are. And please- if you are not pregnant yet and lurk here, or are newly pregnant and don’t know gender yet- please do not become fixated on one gender and simply ignore the possibility that may not happen. It can go either way, I thought we all knew this.

If you do find yourself really struggling with disappointment, please seek therapy, confide in a loved one, find the reason WHY you are struggling and work towards overcoming this. Rant over.

This company is the WORST.

Our snoo, which was almost two thousand dollars, is not allowing us to access our premium subscription. I have been going back and forth over email and being treated like a dog.

The premium subscription only lasts for 9 months and apparently only one parent gets it?

I can't believe they get away with treating customers like this.

Before buying one, call their customer service: 855-424-6324

You will not get a person. My first email chain was passed on to someone overseas

Our baby is due and we can't use this brick. I despise this company.

I’m from a South American country where C sections are extremely common. My mom, sisters, aunts, basically everyone in my family had them, so to me it’s always just seemed like a normal way to give birth.

I’m pregnant in the U.S. now (20 weeks)!!!, and I’ve noticed that a lot of people on Reddit seem really afraid of C sections or want to avoid them at all costs. Even at my appointments, the doctors will say things like “when you give birth naturally,” and when I tell them I want a planned C section, I feel like they look at me a little sideways.

I know it’s surgery and there are risks, but personally I feel more comfortable with a planned C section and feel like the pros outweigh the cons for me.

Is this just a common U.S. attitude? Why are people here so against elective C sections?

Also, does choosing one without a medical reason usually cost more in the U.S.?

When I was pregnant I become lactose tolerant. As in, I've always been lactose intolerant but some how during pregnancy I was able to tolerate much more lactose than before. A risky milkshake or ice cream was no longer risky. It was fab

edit: typo

I’m getting close to my due date and starting to finish up the baby stuff. I’m still trying to decide if a diaper pail is really worth getting. I’ve seen the Momcozy one, Ubbi, and Munchkin, but then I wonder if I even need a proper diaper pail. Or maybe I should just get a small trash can with regular bags and empty it often.

For moms who have used one, did you find it useful or did you end up wishing you had just bought a normal trash can?

What did you get and how has it worked out for you?

I keep seeing posts like “fed is best”, “you don’t have to breastfeed if you don’t want to”, “a choice to formula feed doesn’t need explaining” etc. daily and usually under such posts lots of women share their experience how breastfeeding has been difficult and how moving to formula feeding was the right thing for them. So I’d like to offer this PSA to expecting moms that breastfeeding isn’t always a horrible experience. I’m currently 10 months into breastfeeding and going. It was a bit difficult at the beginning while my nipples were adjusting but a nipple cream helped a lot during that time. I haven’t had mastitis, haven’t pumped. I just breastfeed on demand. Yeah, waking up 2-3 times at night is not easy but to me personally it is easier than washing, preparing the bottles. Breastfeeding directly from the nipple is also safer: no contamination risks during bottle preparation, formula brands sometimes have recalls due to safety too. I prefer breastfeeding overall. I’m saying this because I want to share with mothers who consider breastfeeding to at least try and not be scared away by the “fed is best” posts. Everyone’s situation is different but there ARE success stories out there.

So I'm shookeh due to an earlier post that noted that you don't have to warm milk bottles for baby (and apparently you don't have to flip pancakes either?!🤯)

I remember warming my younger brother's bottles and checking the temp before feeds and now, it actually may not be necessary?

What other things do you wish someone told you looking back?

Another one, I'm grateful my therapist told me about the "fourth trimester." So now in addition to a birthing plan, we are making a post-partum plan to help with that transition.

I’m in my first trimester and I guess I’m curious if folks are comfortable sharing, how much weight they gained during pregnancy!

I was so surprised to hear for someone with a normal BMI that a weight gain of 35 or so lbs was expected. Why do I feel like people realistically gain quite a bit more than this?!

I eat well and am active (although not so much right now in the thick of morning sickness) and I just feel like I will realistically gain more than that. I’m not concerned about weight gain during pregnancy as long as baby and I are healthy. But is 30-35 lbs really typical for someone at a healthy weight??

Also, I know everyone is so different and I think that’s why I am asking. Because it’s helpful to see!

FTM looking for push present ideas

Can someone give me concrete details? I'm tired of hearing "you'll never sleep again, my 5 yo woke me up just last night!"

I realized going into this that sleep would be challenging. And I know that everything depends on the baby too.

But is it like, 30 minutes of sleep at a time for 3 hours total, or realistically what is it? How long do the bad sleep phases last? Am I still going to be able to function or be interested in things I'm interested in now? And I'm self employed, is that going to go entirely out the window, or when can I expect to go back to working? How much time am I actually going to have to do things, and when does that change?

Surely being woken up by a 5 yo is totally different than with a newborn??

People have been so negative, but so vague about WHAT is negative. A lot of parents don't seem to like being a parent at all, or talk endlessly about how miserable they were when they had a new baby. I try to avoid these people but it's hard when I see them regularly. The nicer ones are telling me it's the hardest thing they've ever done, but rewarding, or that it's brutally difficult but that it helps you to grow. What does that mean? What exactly is hard? What is rewarding?? These people are freaking me out to the point of tears.

- A 33w pregnant lady who was already anxious about parenthood before people starting telling her how awful it is

Okay..hear me out. I totally understand bodily autonomy and personal space.. no one should be touched without consent, i get it.. But I’m genuinely curious, why is the pregnant belly such a sensitive topic? People touch arms, backs, shoulders all the time, usually with zero thought about it. But when someone lightly touches a pregnant belly, it’s like HOW DARE YOU.

Is it the intimacy? The entitlement? Or has society just made this a "do-not-touch" zone culturally? I’m not saying people should go around grabbing bumps but the level of offense people take sometimes seems a bit extreme. i find it not that deep at all, and from family, it just seems like a sweet gesture of trying to bond or get close to my babies that they have also wished and prayed for.

Genuinely curious to hear other perspectives especially from those who’ve been pregnant. Did it bother you? Or did it depend on who it was?

** i just wanted to add, i am 31 weeks with twins so people deff feel influenced to touch me lol.

I’m 27+3, FTM and my husband will also be a FTD.
He was at his jiujitsu class last night and told me that he was speaking to one of his friends at the studio who recently had his first baby a few weeks ago. They were discussing our upcoming baby shower, and my husbands overall excitement of becoming a father and asked his friend if he had any wisdom or advice yet (friends baby is 6 weeks old) and he told me his friend looked him dead in the eyes with a straight face and said “when you’re in the delivery room, whatever you do bro, Do. Not. Look.” Referring to looking at my vajeen in the process.

Prior to him having this convo with his friend, I already was feeling nervous about him seeing the process and told him I’d want him to stay by my head but that’s just from seeing tons of delivery videos and knowing how graphic it is. (Selfishly I don’t want him to have that visual of me down there for future, I know, I know) But my husband was adamant that he doesn’t care about that and wants to see the process as it happens, he’s not a squeamish man at all, literally nothing grosses him out. But after hearing his friends words he’s actually considering possibly not looking. I don’t know where I fall on the spectrum anymore because I don’t like the possible underlying reason for his friend advising him of this (sexual reasons I’m thinking) and almost out of spite want my husband to see what happens so he could understand the strength and power it will take to deliver our baby, which was his original reason for wanting to see.

Anyone heard anything similar? Thoughts? Did your partner watch? Why or why not?