On Thursday evening, Buffy (9) was diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer, after a day of very atypical behavior (would not come downstairs, wouldn’t eat or go outside, and eventually could not walk). The emergency vet was able to remove the blood around her heart so she was back to eating and walking, but we decided to move forward with euthanasia because we didn’t want her to experience any more pain. On Saturday morning, Buffy passed away peacefully on her bed in our living room, surrounded by me, my husband and our toddler, after a large meal of steak, eggs and blueberry muffins.
I adopted Buffy in 2019 from some random lady off Craigslist. I knew she was sketch but Buffy was beautiful and very sweet. The only picture posted was Buffy doing the heeler sit, leaning up against a door frame. Turns out Buffy had heartworms and was aggressive towards men and other dogs. Unfortunately, I think her first two years of life were very hard on her, but she made great progress with patience and medical care.
Although she was mixed with lab, Buffy embodied all the blue heeler stereotypes. She was the master of the side eye and the heeler sit. She had a very high prey drive- she once killed a pigeon on the sidewalk, I’ll never forget the look in the pigeon’s eyes. She was obsessed with me, she would have preferred that we shared skin. She barked at every dog and bicycle we passed. She had a great disdain for men in baseball caps and hated (loved?) cats and squirrels. If we came across a tennis ball on a walk, she picked it up, then promptly turned around to head back home. She was very protective of me and always waiting behind any closed door, or nudging it open to check on me. She barked incessantly at any body of water. She also whined incessantly when we were eating. She loved walking the trails, sniffing out other wildlife.
Buffy walked alongside me through many phases of life, multiple boyfriends, 4 residences, an engagement, marriage and 2 children. I was worried about bringing a baby into her house, but by giving her plenty of space and forcing boundaries, she warmed up and tolerated them. I know she knew they were an extension of me.
Now that she has passed, I have a lot of guilt about the last couple years of her life. Just how dramatically it changed and how much less time and energy I had for her. Also how much she overstimulated me. Owning a dog on top of having children, it was tough for me. I also feel guilty that I now don’t have to worry about her barking waking the girls up. She would often go upstairs before me when she was ready for bed. I always let her sleep on the bed if she wanted to, because I felt so bad for her. I hope she knew that I loved her so much, how sorry I am and how much I miss opening the door and seeing her there, waiting for me.
RIP Buffy, 2017-2026
