Hello! I would like some help or reassurance for how I'm feeling, by hearing positive stories from parents or about yours. Slight trigger warning for abuse mentioned.

I grew up heavily abused and my life has been very difficult, I have a lot of mental health issues from trauma. I've also been running into this problem. So many people online, or even in person, joke about their parents physically hurting them, or jokes that mention abuse like it's funny. It makes me feel so depressed and alone.

Is it that normal to be abused? Am I overreacting to my experience? It almost feels like everyone can take it as a joke, but I'm here spiraling. I feel crazy about being so bothered by my past.

Anyway, I think it might really help my mental health if I could hear stories from parents or of your parents. Positive ones that have made you smile or really proud. I need to see that the world isn't filled with abuse, that good parents exist, and that I'm not crazy.

College student wondering whether week long radio silence from my parents is the norm. Not even a text unless I text first. My college friends are astonished when I tell them I call my mom once every two weeks. Multi-week silence in my dad's case lol

Do you prefer your kids initiating contact instead, so you don't feel like you're bothering them?

I truly cannot believe this. I'm blessed to work from home and I drop off and pick up my 15 year-old daughter every single day from high school. She gets decent enough grades and I never in 1 million years would have known that she was getting high mostly every day for the past year. The only reason I found out is because she was vomiting on a daily basis. I took her to many hospital visits and after ruling out so many causes, they asked her if she smoked marijuana because they've been seeing a lot of teenagers come to the emergency room with what they call CHS. She told the doctor she was getting high at school and then told me. She was crying so much when she told me because she said that she knew I would be disappointed in her, which I was. I asked her why she started and she said she started because she didn't know how to deal with some difficult emotions. I'm a single mom and her dad hasn't been around for many years. I feel like I've completely failed as a mom. I keep questioning on how I couldn't have noticed. She was only getting high at school and by the time I picked her up, she was sober. I always looked out for these kinds of things, but I genuinely never saw her eyes red, low, glossy or anything, but still I don't know how I could've missed this. I am so ashamed and so alone. She's been sober 3 weeks now. I am going to be drug testing her randomly. Is this a good next step? She is refusing therapy.

I've been sick with the flu for almost over a week now, I'm 18 and i still love my mom but every time I'm sick she denies the fact that i am, and thinks i just wanna get out of school even though i do my work and only have 3 classes plus im doing a technical college education, and she somehow thinks i want to skip them. To be fair i have skipped school faking something but who hasn't the last time i did it was later during the year. She was (stated by her) worse than me and my brother in highschool not too later got pregnant with me and my brother after highschool. Today i woke up extremely nauseous to the point anything would trigger me to spue but she thinks i should just take some tums to brush it off and the medicine ive been taking for the cough and fever has made things worse for my stomach so now she thinks im just trying to get out of school and is threatening to take things away if i didnt go to school today even though i went yesterday and wanted to go the day before but i woke up in hell, but decided this is the day im gonna try and miss which is Wednesday (short schedule get outta school early) how fun to chill with friends but nope i just wanna skip! Whats your diagnosis/opinion am i the bad kid?

My baby is 10 months old, and I’d love to hear from other parents about what play looks like at this age. My baby still puts almost everything in his mouth. For example, he will pick up a toy car and chew on it rather than trying to roll it along. I’m also wondering at what age babies typically start imitating gestures. My baby doesn’t clap their hands or point yet.What are your babies doing at this age?

My son will be nearly 2 this Christmas, and I was planning to give him a play kitchen and accessories. We’ll be flying to visit family, so he wouldn’t be able to open that and bring it back with us.

How have you handled larger Christmas gifts if flying to visit family?

Like what do you think they'd write about you and what other content do you think would be in there

Im the teen just wondering about the parents perspective not the parent wanting to snoop so please dont come for me

Thank you I appreciate your time in answering this question. I have a 23 month old and a 5 and 10 year old.

My son is almost 17 and an only child. He's always had mates but never close friends, and he's struggling more than ever right now.
Some background: he's really bright, did extremely well in his GCSEs last year and got into a great college where he's doing STEM subjects. He plays three instruments and loves photography, politics and deep conversations. He's progressive, respectful, cares about animals and the environment, and he's outgoing. (I know I'm his mum, but the other adults in his life say the same.)
Secondary school was hard. He often felt excluded. Some of that came from him not wanting to join in with childish or toxic behaviour in the popular groups, which I respect. But he also had a pattern of cutting off friendships he had formed, sometimes blocking people completely, which then alienated himself from certain friendship groups that also included people he liked. That left him more isolated.
I always told him college would be different: people would mature and he'd find people like him. That kept him going and he couldn't wait to start.
Now he's lonelier than ever. Classes are spread across the week with lots of independent activities , so he's around people less than before. That's despite him being student rep and environmental rep and doing DofE.
He really wants friends, but I think he may not have the skills to build and keep them. He's terrified of seeming desperate, and I sometimes wonder if he comes across as too nonchalant, like he doesn't care.
We live in Brighton, which should be a great city for this, but I'm struggling to find places where he could meet like-minded people his age without it costing a fortune.
It's heartbreaking to watch. He's becoming withdrawn and low and losing motivation. Most of his free time now goes on social media and online gaming.
Has anyone been through this with a teen? I'd love to hear:
What actually helped your kid build real friendships at this age
How to gently raise the pattern of cutting people off without him feeling attacked
Any affordable groups, clubs or activities in Brighton for 16 to 18 year olds into music, photography, politics or the environment

Do any other parents feel like school spirit weeks have gotten a little out of hand?
Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of fun, creative ways to engage kids! Pajama day, crazy hair day, sports day, twin day, etc. Once a month? Wonderful!
But we’re now on week TWO of a different suggested theme every single day. That’s 10 different outfits or themed ensembles for parents to somehow pull together.
Beyond the added pressure on working parents, my bigger concern is the kids who don’t participate. Not every family has the time, resources, or capacity to keep up, and I can’t help but think about how those children might feel watching everyone else participate.
I’m all for school spirit, creativity, and building community. I just wonder if there are better, more inclusive ways to accomplish that without creating another responsibility for families.

For me it was poor behaviour.

Now I accept people for who they are and what they show me…over who I hope they could be.

hello, i am creating this post for the behalf of my parents. i’m the eldest (20) in the family and we have been having ongoing problems with my 12 year old sister since she started school.

she’s in the beginning of high school and since she has started maybe mid year she does not want to go to school and we don’t know why. start of the year she was bullied by a boy in her class but we got that sorted and the bullying stopped, if the bullying has continued then we have no idea she won’t talk to any of us. when I say she makes everyone’s lives harder, she makes it hell in the mornings, she will wait until the very last minute in bed she won’t get out of bed even with a push from parents, she won’t tell us why she doesn’t want to go, in her head she just thinks my mum will let her stay home just because.
I also have a younger brother (16) and high school is getting more serious for him, my dad takes them to school together and it starts at 8:30 so my sister would still be in her room trying to avoid going to school.

she has created psychological distress for our parents and I would say it has an affect on my brother and I as well because he is late to school almost everyday because of her. when my parents have tried pulling her out of bed, she screams her lungs out like she is getting murdered and over-exaggerates everything, discipline doesn’t work with her, she is spoiled, she has everything (my parents gifted her the latest iphone as well which I think has added to this bullshit, she has twice the amount of everyone else, she also has 3 tablets) and she puts the family through such unnecessary hell everyday. she screams and tries to fight everyone, we don’t know what is wrong with her. I feel awfully for my parents, me and my brother never had this stage and I wouldn’t have dared to put my parents through such at that age or any age of growing up. I got bullied at her age and throughout high school so she is not the first to be experiencing this and we don’t even know if this has something to do with puberty or bullying. My mum tried checking her phone but she couldn’t get the password my sister apparently changes her password weekly and wouldn’t allow my mum to access her. We thought maybe she acted this way because she is getting bullied online, we have tried everything but nothing is working, she never got access to the phone password either.

this is the most I can think of while writing but please offer some advice or something we can do.

Hi all! I know this is way in advance but we are to saving up for Christmas for 2 under 2. We’re trying to do more experience-based gifts as our children have a million toys. What are some experiences to consider? TIA!

Good morning! I am a ftm (26) & my baby was born 8/31.

L/O is just shy of 2m old. I EBF, so I absolutely need to schedule my personal time, errands, and (basically) anything I’d like to do on my own during the time my baby is sleeping!

I’m noticing L/O sometimes needs to be put to sleep after the 60-90min wake window or else L/O is awake for hours and cranky. We have been working on that. It varies whether L/O is awake for 60min or 90min.

I’m also aware that at this age L/O still needs 14-17h of sleep in a 24 hr period- taking multiple & sometimes short spanned naps throughout the day. Which generally as of late, L/O does get between 12h-16h of sleep in a 24h period depending on the day & is awake more in the daytime than nighttime. I understand that my baby doesn’t have a circadian rhythm, to stimulate the circadian rhythm we nap with open curtains during the day, let everyone talk at normal volume / have tv on and are boring & quiet with dim lighting when waking at night time.

L/O will mainly go down for the night between 10-12AM. We occasionally wake sometime between 8pm-9pm, nurse & then go down for the night.

Wake again once between 3-6am for a 10 min nursing session & sleep all the way to 8am.. we average a good 8 hrs of sleep a night!

For the 60-90 min wake window, I let my baby wake up, change the diaper, do tummy time, and then feed which takes up to 40 mins. So we normally wait on the sleep cue after that & will just interact with eachother until I see the sleep cue.

I’m not looking for the “their schedule is your schedule” replies. I’m aware that L/O schedule mainly depends on the cues given to me- I will always follow the cues

What age are you putting your baby on a strict schedule and how did they do with the schedule?

I’d never force a nap or force L/O to stay awake, and I’d also never force feed/delay feeding to fit a strict schedule, but I like to be prepared ahead of time. I personally need to think about this upcoming routine several times before starting it, I need to type it out in my notes & set alarms. I need to “get ready” to start a routine.

I will always follow the cues but want a general idea of a routine to where I can say “he’s asleep at this time so that’s when I can go to the gas station & leave him with dad.”

What IS a good schedule to follow as a guideline around
L/O cues?

Will I never have a routine because baby is EBF & might want to wake & cluster feed so we never end up with a strict routine?

Is a strict routine only for formula fed babies?

Could maybe someone give me a guideline of a schedule for each month-1Y?

I’m 17F, and when I was little, my mom used to show me videos of childbirth, and she showed my sister them too, basically to scare us out of becoming teen moms. Is this something other parents do, or is this just my mom?

I'm an 18 year old trans guy(that will be a bit relevant) but I feel like she treats me the same way she did when I was 8.

I can't go anywhere alone and I can't be alone in stores. Even smaller places that we go to often, she still has to be able to see me. I really don't understand this since I'm home alone nearly every day for around seven hours, occasionally more.

I can't spend my money how I want so I'm typically stuck asking if it's not something I originally said I wanted. One of the things about money that we've done since I was little is that if it's my money I'm allowed to spent it however I want, but she's been not letting me do that recently. We were at a store a couple weeks ago and I saw a small plush of one of my favorite characters and she wouldn't let me buy it and didn't even say why. And if it's online shopping then I either have to ask to buy it or ask her to buy it. And she's even worse about what I can/can't buy when it comes to clothes which makes shopping obnoxious.

And I couldn't even fully pick the name I go by. I had a few different ideas with my two favorites being obvious. I couldn't go by one of them because that'd "make it obvious I'm trans" but it's already obvious. I couldn't go by another one because she didn't like them or some random family member in another state that we've never met and will never meet has the same basic name. She didn't even listen to one idea, which was one I really liked, and instead suggested my least favorite of my ideas. I 'go by' that name now, and it's a great name, but it doesn't feel like me and has no importance to me like the others did.

For most of these things, I wouldn't even do them. I'm perfectly happy staying home alone, but I want the ability to go out on my own. And I should be allowed to buy things with my money. Even things I probably won't get, like a monster energy drink or something, but I still want to be able to. I don't know how to ask her about this or to get her to change without being asked.

TLDR: I'm 18 and can't be alone, can't buy things with my money, and didn't get a real choice with my name. How do I get my mom to start letting me?

Hey everyone, first of all I want to preface that I'm asking this to genuinely widen my perspective. I'm not here to vent or simply air out past trauma.

A bit of background about me: I had a stepdad in my life from ages 4-12. My mum and him had 2 kids together. I remember feeling very unsettled and anxious around him as a child, and I think I made it pretty clear to her that I didn't like him. He was really mean.

A part of me wonders if she chose to stay because he gave her things she struggled to get on her own at the time: A house, money, and love. I think at the time she was also quite isolated.

But I just don't understand how a parent can see their child be genuinely disliked and not reconsider their relationship. When I was young I think I had some behavioural issues but they were quite minor- Such as forgetting to say thank you or not wiping my face after eating. But I also didn't like this guy, so maybe I was just being honest in how I felt about him.

My son is a very very picky eater so we have to be creative trying new foods. To convince him to eat apples, we told him that the more apples he eats, he will eventually be stronger than his dad and be able to beat him at wrestling 😅

EDIT: Appreciate all the comments and understand that there are many variables at play. If she chooses to stay local then I see that altering my timeline might be the best course. If she goes to school far away (she will be spending her summer as a counselor for 1.5 months) then I will make a different decision.

Had a lovely talk last night and she’s also considering going with me and it may be Scotland where she can work because she’s a dual citizen. That would be a good thing for both of us, cheaper living, she can explore her roots and get a job, and my visa is 6 months which gives ample opportunity for her to settle in and find her community.

I’m 60 and my child is a Senior in High School.

I’ve been working since I was 11 years old, applied for college on my own, 3 jobs etc

My father was a single dad of 3.

I’m a single mom and had to do a few job pivots to survive. And I’m exhausted.

I’ve told my child that after graduation I will strap on a backpack and hit the road exploring the world with what little savings I have.

Cannot afford to retire in the US so going to explore options in South East Asia.

Hate my current job and the grind.

My child is so mad at me. Expects me to continue to pay for stuff.

She’s super smart but doesn’t push to create opportunities for herself and I’ve tried everything. So college may not be an option for her. Might be workforce or community college.

Am I an asshole for “doing this to her”?

I have some guilt but I’m still planning my escape.

FYI - We rent so there’s no “family” home. I would be willing to help with rent as long as she’s working toward her goals of school or job.

** After reading comments- Clarification -
I have offered to take her with me. Offered to match dollar for dollar if she’s working to help live
Because I was a single mom with dead beat dad - I have barely enough to live in Vietnam and have a life before I die.
I was 17 when I left home, went to college, did not get money from my single dad, worked like crazy and never begrudged my Dad for lack of financial support. Called him most days - understood that! It is a little different these days but my child is highly intelligent and uses that to do the least work. She’ll find a good job, even in this economy- if not I’ll buy her A ticket to Vietnam

I’m not sure what to do. My child loved kindergarten and has good friends at school but none of them are in her class. There are 6 other girls in the class, 3 don’t speak English and the other 3 are a little trio that was also together in kindergarten and for whatever reason they enjoy being mean. My daughter is who actually really outgoing and friendly doesn’t understand why they purposely exclude her, call her names and talk about her.

She’s apparently been sitting alone at lunch and no one acknowledges her. The boys sit at one table and the girls at another. So the two trios all laugh and talk around her and she just sits there off to the side. I actually didn’t know this until another parent called me and let me know. She said it made her sad to even witness it.

My daughter did try sitting with the boys and they let her sit with them but they also didn’t really talk to her.

Oddly enough I met another mom today who had a daughter in kindergarten with the “mean trio” and they did the same thing to her daughter. She said “it doesn’t get better” referring to the mean girls.

My daughter comes home everyday just down. I ask her about her day and she says “another not great day mom, I still have no friends in my class”

All of her best friends are in another class. It makes her really sad that she’s not only being excluded and bullied in her class but all her friends get to be together in another class. I don’t know if I’m being a helicopter parent for wanting her to swap classes but it’s ripping my heart out picturing her getting ignored and bullied. I’ve already covered it with her teacher but there’s not much you can do when your kid is the odd ball out.

Would you ask to have your child moved classes?

I have a 12-year-old brother who used to enjoy life, play video games and football, and do the usual things kids his age enjoy.
Lately, he has been dealing with bullying and being left out, and it has really affected him. He has started spending most of his time alone in his room and no longer seems interested in the things he used to enjoy, not even using his phone.
What worries me the most is how he has started seeing himself. He keeps questioning himself and saying things like, “Why am I not successful? Why am I not good at anything? Why don’t I have something I’m actually good at?” It hurts to hear him talk about himself this way, especially at such a young age.
He has also been playing football since he was 8, but he feels like he is not improving. One of his friends has progressed to the point where he travels to compete in tournaments, and I think seeing that difference might be making him feel even worse about himself.
As his family, we are worried about him and do not want things to get worse. We are trying to understand how to approach him without putting more pressure on him or making him feel like we are forcing him to talk.
Has anyone dealt with something similar with a child around this age? I would especially appreciate advice from child psychologists or psychiatrists on how to support him, help him regain his confidence, and know when professional help is needed.
We just want to help him feel like himself again.

I often hear that the love you have for your child makes it all worth it. Or that the love that you have is something that you would never know etc.

But other than the love you have for your child, what are other positive things about being a parent/ having a child?

Dad of a 6-month-old here, trying to learn from parents a few years ahead of me. I keep hearing that the hard part isn't how much time kids spend on screens, but not knowing what's actually on them.

What did you find, how did the conversation go, and did anything you tried actually work?