I never think about men in relation to my sexuality, except with immense gratitude that I’m not tethered to them. This may be the first and only male-centered post I ever write, but one of the greatest luxuries of being a lesbian is the sheer liberation of existing outside heteronormativity.

No husband to mother, no stroller to push, no disproportionate domestic labor disguised as “building a life together.” No unwashed hands, questionable hygiene, weaponized incompetence, or mediocre sex I’m expected to pretend was great. No handing out gold stars to grown men for meeting the bare minimum requirements of adulthood. Just me, my freedom, my peace, and a life centered around myself and the women I love.

Sometimes I see women in their 50s walking beside or trailing several steps behind their husbands, looking like they’ve been silently keeping score since 1998, and think about how heteronormativity really sold women a dream and delivered a lifetime subscription to unpaid labor.

Imagine being raised to believe a man, a ring, and a baby stroller are the ultimate prizes, only to spend the rest of your life managing a grown man’s household while he gets praised for babysitting his own children. The bar is in hell, and somehow women are still being told to celebrate when men manage to step over it.

Honestly, even if I spend the rest of my life alone, it will always be preferable to sharing a home with a balding man with a beer belly who treats sex like a service he’s perpetually entitled to. LMAO.

I’d rather spend my days in silk pajamas, drinking champagne with a beautiful woman, spoiling my girlfriend or wife, booking spontaneous getaways, enjoying romantic dinners, having sex for hours, and building a beautiful life filled with intimacy, adventure, and mutual respect and adoration than spend my life mothering a grown man who can’t even wash his hands properly.

Do I look down on straight and male-centered women? Always, in all ways. LMAO. 🤣

We are literally and figuratively the final boss of patriarchy!

I know this post is extremely petty (🤣) but, I'm glad this life is my destiny, I really and truly wouldn't have it any other way. 🌈🥂

No wonder those in-betweeners want to be us! Sometimes I feel like lesbians are the deluxe edition of womanhood. 🤣

Can be any type of animation whether it is Western animation or anime

it always ends up being my turn, then her turn. which is lovely, but i’m curious if anyone’s figured out the together thing. what made it happen for you?

I've never had a threesome before, and l'm kinda curious to try it, but I honestly have no idea what to expect or how it would even work. Has anyone here had experience with this? How did it go?
Was it a good experience or not so much? Is there anything specific I should keep in mind? Any tips?

starting to notice firm toys feel great some nights and way too much on others. do you have a "gentle" one and an "intense" one, or is that overthinking it?

i’m totally in my head watching her reactions, and then afterwards i realise i got nothing out of it. not complaining, she’s amazing, but how do you get out of “performance mode”?

love my gf, she's just lower drive and that's fine. but i've realised i need my own outlet so i stop quietly keeping score. higher drive folks, what do you do for yourselves? and do you tell your partner about it?

I want ask and hopefully asking could lead to productive discussion, but what do you think about that bar in western mass that got flack for opening up one night a week for people who don’t mask. I don’t really care about all the other drama that ensued nor do I know much about this bar in the first place. All I know about this drama is from my friend telling me, but I think the issue of not letting people come in without masks, the backlash and ultimately the fact that they are closing now all is all related to a sort of purity politics for a lack of a better term that happens in lesbian spaces (it happens in other queer spaces too, but I wanna talk about specifically lesbian spaces).

By purity politics I mean I feel as though there is a phenomenon in lesbian spaces where people need events things or people to be very socially conscious, considerate, accommodating, and inclusive and the expectation is that these events people or things will be perfectly socially conscious at every level. And when things aren’t perfect people tear that thing down, just like this bar. I think intersectionality and inclusivity are amazing and what we all should be striving for, I am no way advocating against this. But I think when things aren’t perfect or there is some issue lesbian tend to destroy the thing until there is no more thing. I think a big part of this is why we barely have any bars (at least in the US) or events and when new things pop up so many don’t last.

I’m black and there are sapphic events/ bars I don’t like going because the vibes are rancid and racist imo, but I still want them to exist because I think we are never gonna get to the perfect lesbian bar if all the imperfect ones go out of business.

So I want to know what y’all think? Do you think there is a culture of purity politics in lesbians spaces? Do you think it’s a good thing why or why not?

Both my partner and me are neurodivergent. Both some autism, me also dyslexic and adhd. Possibly auditory processing issues as well. The percentage of neurodivergent people who identify as lesbian or gay is pretty high. Like 3x more likely than non-neurodivergent.

Do you have any neurodivergent issues?

this is a light hearted question! I'm aware this is specific for each person and couple, mostly asking for ppl who have already gotten married or maybe ppl who just think about it a lot.

in straight weddings, the groom will already be waiting at the altar while the bride walks down the aisle to meet him. these days i saw a video of a lesbian wedding where they both walked down the aisle together, it was really beautiful. i got curious to hear: what was this part of your wedding ceremony like? or if it hasn't happened, how would you like it to be? additionally, do you want to wear a dress or a suit? tell me about your dream wedding!

very silly question, i just get in a mood sometimes to think about weddings so i wanted to know ❤️

initially this sounds bad, and maybe it is.

i’m a lesbian. i’ve only ever been attracted to women, ive always been so sure and so firm. it manifests in every part of my life. dating women as a woman is entirely different than straight relationships, it’s a different culture. different standards and expectations, you know?

i’ve been open about it since i was conscious enough to name it. My best friend in the world is indubitably straight; she loves men, she loves the power struggle that comes with dating men, she loves peen!! she has never expressed genuine interest in a woman, and i’ve know her a very long time. when she’s drunk she makes out with her female friends, i have partaken in this, and to me that is a giant siren that indicates a lack of romantic attraction towards girls. the reason she’s so casual about it is because it holds no meaning for her.

she gets uncomfortable when i talk about my sex life with my girlfriend, but not because she’s uncomfy with sex. we talk about it all the time, we talk about everything. she’s said she could never see herself with a woman, having sex with a woman, any of it.

out of the blue, after a year of terrible experiences with men, she sends me a photo of a girl and says “i think im in love.”

i quickly find out that this girl lives in a foreign country and they have barely met each other. she is a very impulsive person going through an identity crisis, and i can’t explain it well but i just know this is her being a stereotypical straight girl “experimenting” with lesbian women because she didn’t like how things were going with men.

she thinks of it as if it’s a choice, like you can just choose who you like willy nilly. i’m very sensitive about this, lesbian women are so trivialized and under respected BECAUSE of women like her who treat it like a fun phase to fall on when they’re struggling. i know this is an internal thing for me; she’s allowed to experiment. if she wants to explore something i dont have an issue with it, but the suddenness, the lack of context, the lack of previous interest, it just raises red flags to me. i’m the gayest loser around and i am her best friend and she has never talked to me about any of this.

maybe she thought i would judge her and maybe i am, this isn’t entirely rational and a big part of me feels defensive. i can acknowledge that. but it rubs me so wrong and i can’t shake it. i talked to her about it, because im a mature person and im not going to secretly resent my friends, and she explained that my reaction made her feel invalid and unseen. i don’t want that, because i support her if this is what she really wants, but i also explained that i do in fact have standards for what i consider authentic and what i think is right. i do my best to be reasonable but i let so much slide for her, this is just so close and personal to me that i cant.

i dont want to make her feel judged. judgement isnt the issue, its the principal of her actions and what they imply on a larger scale. i would love nothing more than to have my bff be sapphic, but i dont want it to be some thing she’s into for a few weeks and never discussed again. i dont know.

women are so constantly infantilized and put down and not taken seriously, and situations like this feel like feeding into it. i’m just conflicted.

Just out of pure curiousty: have you ever had a crush on a man?

I’m a young woman in my early 20s with a boyfriend, but I’m starting to think I might be bi. I’ve kissed girls before and find some women genuinely sexually attractive, although I can’t really imagine being in a relationship with one.
There’s this hot and fun girl I get along with really well. She’s very outgoing and sexual, and sometimes posts pictures of herself kissing her female friends at parties. We’ve joked about sexual stuff before and flirted for fun, but nothing has actually happened between us.
I’m going to see her in about 6 weeks, but we’ll only be in the same city for around a day and a half. We’re already making plans to meet up, and I’m curious whether something could happen.
Am I overthinking this, or could she potentially be interested in women? And how would you approach this situation, considering I have a boyfriend and I’m still figuring out my sexuality?

Lesbians 30+ WhatsApp group chat

Mods, Please delete if not allowed x

Hey! I’m T,

Finding it hard to connect In this world?

Join us

We’re looking for more sapphic/lesbian women 30+ from all corners of the world. 🌍

📚 Book club

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Hi, ladies! ❤️ I have a question and would love to hear about your experiences.

My girlfriend and I were talking about sex, and from what I understand, she seems to be exclusively a top. I asked her what she likes having done to her, and she said something along the lines of, “Just let me do my job” 😂.

It made me curious because I’ve heard that some women who prefer being tops mainly enjoy giving pleasure and don’t necessarily want to receive it themselves. I’ve even heard that some don’t like being touched in certain ways.

Is that true for some of you? Or does it depend more on the individual person than on the role they prefer?

I should also mention that I’ve never been with a woman before, so I’m still learning about these dynamics and figuring things out.

I’m wondering whether I should let her take the lead and guide me, or whether it’s better to ask her what she likes and explore together, even if she seems to prefer giving rather than receiving at first.

I’d love to hear your experiences, both from women who are exclusively tops and from those with different preferences. ❤️

So im f16 ive always said I was pansexual, but after a breakup I was talking to my friend about what I “like” in a person, and I was saying how I like femboys/ feminine men, but I also like women in general. But I asked some of my other friends, and they’re blunt with me and say “you are a lesbian”.

and few of my friends have told me in the past I dress like a lesbian (idk I dress feminine and masc sometimes) and also the only “cis-men” I’ve liked are fictional characters

idk what to do; I’m questioning big time.

(my bff said I could be Omni)

So I met a girl this summer. We had instant insane chemistry since our very first date. It was like love at first sight and it’s the first time it ever happened to me. Ever since our first date we never let eachother go and were exclusive since the first week. We planned a trip together since date 3 and went on that trip after only 3 weeks of knowing eachother. She moved to a new appartement close to my house during month 2 and we basically furnished the whole appartement together and acted as if it was our place. We were together everyday.
We got along so well and never got tired of eachother.
At one point during month 2, she started having issues at her job and financial issues too which led her to take on a second job with night shifts and her mood was just generally shitty and she was always tired. It affected out relationship a lot because we couldn’t see eachother as much and when we did it was never quality time it was just going over to her house to have dinner and sleep. Since she was always in a bad mood our sex life was also affected. We were still kissing and cuddling but not really having sex because she was always tired and in a bad mood. Personally I didn’t want to insist or initiate during that time because I was scared she wasn’t in the mood and on her side she was just so tired or sad or stressed that she wasn’t initiating either.
After a while, I sent her a voice note addressing this and also saying I wish we had more quality time together and mentioning other small stuffs that were on my mind. My goal was just to fix these stuffs but she interpreted it as me breaking up with her … the next day we met up to talk about it and she had already in her mind that we had broken up and it was over. She said our chemistry probably died down and there’s nothing we can do about it but she wanted to remain friends because she really likes me as a person.
I was really shocked by that because I was trying to fix things and not break up but she’s someone who doesn’t change her mind ever once she takes a decision and it’s as if her thinking I broke up with her made her want to break up too.

Ever since we broke up, we keep seeing eachother almost everyday. She’s mostly the one initiating the meet up and she always extends wtver activity we re doing. For example if I’m supposed to pick her up to go somewhere, she asks if I wanna come before to be there when she’s getting ready and then once the activity is done she asks if I wanna stay over to have dinner and watch Netflix and stuffs like that she always postpones me leaving. Sometimes I’m at her place until 3:00 AM but just as ‘friends’.
I can see in her eyes that she sometimes wants to kiss me but doesn’t act upon it.
It’s really hard for me to keep seeing her this much because I’m so attracted to her that all I want is to get back with her.
We also have insane compatibility and never get bored of eachother and are always laughing and having a good time.

I feel like since she’s the one who broke up with me, she should be the one initiating a kiss or anything if she wants us back together so I’m not making any move.
However 2 days ago I noticed she has hinge and bumble on her phone so she’s open to dating new people which hurts me. I also have hinge on my phone but it was to try to get over her and I’m not using it much.

I am going over to her house in 2 days , Should I make a move on her? Should she be the one making a move ?

Help plz

Nobody ever clarifies if it's 'lesbians can have real, genuine crushes on fictional men purely because they're not real' or 'lesbians can find a fictional man 'conventionally' (urgh) attractive and not feel a lick of attraction towards them'.

Please can someone clarify this everyone on tiktok is so vague and mysterious like omfg

I hope this is a right place to ask.

I’m 22 and ever since I was like 16 I’ve been wondering what it would be like to be with a girl. However, I had a phase when I was a little addicted to porn when I was like 17-18.

I never really did anything with the thoughts, just wondered, since I knew my family would never approve me and the best future for me would be if I end up with a man. But now that I’ve moved out and lived alone for a while, sometimes I wonder how it would be to come home and a woman waiting for me instead of a man.

That’s another problem tho. I have a boyfriend that I love very deeply. And it’s making me more confused. Could it be that only because of my porn addiction I’m attracted to women sexually and want to know how it would be like, instead of romantically? Because even tho I love my boyfriend, I don’t really find him sexually attractive. He is handsome af. And good in bed. But it’s really the touch that turns me on instead of his looks.

Is there anyone else who has been in this same sitautiona and had these thoughts? How did you figure it out? What should I do?

If the world were to collapse, and the only way to survive was to become one of a warlord’s wives, would you do it?

(India Only) Calling all single women who love women! 💌
Let’s get together for a little movie 😭❤️‍🔥
Think sapphic rom-coms, angsty love stories, queer thrillers, or whatever our collective lesbian hearts desire.

VERIFICATION IS A MUST
Movie options-

1. ⁠⁠But I’m a cheerleader (1999)
   
2. ⁠⁠Imagine Me and you
   
3. ⁠⁠Love, Simon
   
4. ⁠⁠Fresh
   
5. ⁠⁠Misery
   
6. ⁠⁠Jennifer’s Body

✨ The plan:
🎥 Watch a movie together online
💗 Vote on what we watch
🍿 Bring your snacks and blankets
💬 Chat, laugh, swoon, and make some new friends
When: 9 PM IST (Indian Standard Time)

I have always had a thing for girls ,but have only been with men. I had one experience with a girl a little bit sexually and i think about it a lotttt or when a girl danced on me at a party i loved it. (now that im typing this out it sounds like im joking but im not) Anyways now that i am an adult and finding myself more I realized that I don’t have to hide the fact that i might be bi. Also their is this girl that I am so attracted to that approached me but i dont know if she is bi and i definitely dont know how to ask her or if asking is even appropriate. Also another side not i dont see myself marrying a woman for some reason only dating ??

Just go be bisexual and live your truth for fucks sake 😂😂😂

I (22f) have been dating my gf (21f) for about 2.5 years. We’re both each other’s first everything so right now we’re at a loss on how to fix things.
Her libido has always been lower than mine but hasn’t really been an issue until recently. Now it has been at an all time low due to stress and everything piling up at once, which has essentially caused our sex life to become nonexistent. The idea of sex isn’t unappealing to her but trying to set the mood has been nearly impossible. Things that have worked for us in the past stopped working, like kissing, biting, scratching her back, pretty much everything vanilla we can both think of together. Our inexperience isn’t helping the issue and I am at a loss.
Every other aspect of our relationship is perfect and we share plenty of intimate moments outside of sex but it’s becoming increasingly frustrating and somewhat upsetting on both ends. What are some other things we could try to set the mood and create an environment where we can be physically intimate again?