I am (19M) .So basically I liked a girl and she was a friend of my friend. So basically I messaged her and we found each other adorable and we both had similar music taste and liked animals. But the next day she just appeared randomly in-front of me in the college and I couldn't even utter a word and I experienced palpitations and brain fog. Then in text she was like you are all bark online and quiet offline. Anyways i asked her out today and she didn't come.

I should've told her earlier that I am on meds for social anxiety . But she would've seen me as a weird person.

So I have basically been the unofficial travel agent for my family...booking flight/train tickets, researching hotels, making the itinerary, the bookings etc...

It started with normal train booking help and now I have become the travel guy in the family. I don’t really mind it that much cause I just do it in my free time. Obviously I don’t get paid anything for all this, I only joked abt it once and my parents very sternly said “helping family shouldn’t be conditional” <> so yk whatever

I sometimes use this app, onto travel for booking hotels, and recently they launched a feature where if, post booking the rates drop, you are automatically rebooked at the lower one and the diff is refunded to source. All the bookings are made through my account and they usually just reimburse me in cash, so when a recent one dropped by ₹1,500, I just kept the difference

I didn’t think it was a big deal and it was just 1500. But when I told a friend abt this and they said I’m stealing, am I?

So we have been best friends for 7+ years. Met at the office, became very close friend within year . He changed job and later on moved to business . After covid, I got married with my BF and changed Job to WFH and eventually full time housewife . My BF/Husband has always known about best friend and they all are on good terms .

Over the years our bond has become very strong . He is like brother . We would plan a dinner once a year or some times twice as well .

Six months back, I received his message if he can call me during afternoon, and I replied no, guests were coming . Tbh, I just wanted to take a nap. After couple of days, he called me directly but I was watching something and knowing his nature, I knew it will irritate him if I didn't took the call . So I let it pass .

He msg me in the evening that he had called. I told him, "I didn't receive any". He sent the Screenshot. Just to make him furious, I msged "Oh, I missed that one, it became missed call LOL" . He sent angry emoji, I was about to reply him but in-laws arrived . I had planned to call back him in couple of days and somehow I forgot in middle of in-laws and functions .

I tried to call him back but It was showing busy. I though he would call back, but he didn't . After couple of weeks, I had some work related to him, the call kept coming busy . I dropped a msg in WhatsApp but even after hours, no response . It was unusual, as he tends to reply within minutes . He had never received msg, couple of days passed. Called again, same busy. Then it occured to me that he might have blocked me on number and WhatsApp as well. I checked insta, block there as well. Checked other medias, I was blocked everywhere . I had never imagine he would block me .

I kept thinking about what might have happened . Joking is common between us, but he had never done any such a thing.

He comes from a very hardship enviornment, life hasn't been good to him from the beginning . He had tried to reach me multiple times before but some how I might be always busy or chose to ignore him when he would be frustrated .

I realised that I would always call him when I was frustrated with my in-laws or anything in my life. I would always share with him and he would always listen. He would change his own scheudles to appear for the dinner and might even pay for the it.

I was feeling very much guilty . I had also talked to my husband about this block, he was also surprised . He told me to give it a try from his number but I had this attitude like let him behave, he will get back to me and I didn't do anythig .

Yesterday, My husband told me that he met the friend and he is in really bad shape . Friend's parents had met accident in the village, his mother was critical and his father has gotten crutches temporarly . He tried to reach me at such a point and I choosed to ignore the calls. My husband insisted to call him, but I just couldn't .

I can't stop thinking about the entire thing . He is my best friend, someone I can share everything without thinking twice . I just can't prepare my self to call him or meet him . I just feel very much sad about the entire thing and I can't stop thinking if it was my fault or he should have told me in the msg .

I am thinknig about finally calling him tonight, but please tell me if I'm in wrong here ?

I've told him multiple times that I need reassurance and affection to feel loved. Whenever I bring it up, he apologises and says he's trying and that I should try to understand him too. I do try to understand him, and I don't want him to feel like he's never enough. But the problem is that we've had this conversation so many times, and I still end up feeling the same way. I want to feel special to him. I want him to do little things for me, think of me on his own, reassure me without me always having to ask, and make me feel like he genuinely wants to make me happy.

Sometimes I see other girls getting little gifts and thoughtful gestures from their boyfriends, and I feel sad because I want that too. It's not about expensive gifts or competing with anyone. I just want to feel thought of and appreciated by the person I love.

I don't want to break up with him because I love him, but I'm tired of repeatedly explaining what makes me feel loved and then still feeling like something is missing.

I understand that everyone expresses love differently, and maybe he really is trying in his own way. But how long am I supposed to keep understanding him while feeling this way myself?

AM I THE KAMEENA for wanting more reassurance and effort from my boyfriend even though he says he's trying? Or am I expecting too much from him?

My mama has twin daughters aged 5, whom i absolutely adore which makes this decision difficult for me.

For the past 7–8 years, my mama has had conflicts with both my parents and my maternal grandparents. He has abused my father, disrespected my mother, and even been physically aggressive with my nanaji, once grabbing him by the collar. He has also had serious property disputes with my grandparents, assumed control of their property and business, and now wants everything legally transferred to him. In the past he and his wife even stopped talking to me and my brother for years despite us previously being extremely close.

Today, my mother was simply standing up for her own parents, my nana and nani, when my mama sent her messages telling her to mind her own household and saying that "behen hai, behen jaise reh." This was the latest in years of disrespect towards my family. For context, he is a well educated person with a degree from a reputed foreign university, still such cheap behavior.

I've finally had enough. I want to cut ties with my mama and his wife, but that would also mean losing contact with my little cousins, whom I love dearly. They are completely innocent and have done nothing wrong, but I cannot keep tolerating this situation at the cost of my parents' dignity and my own peace.

AITK for cutting ties with the entire family, including my innocent five-year-old cousins?

(ps- used ai to rephrase)

Okay, so basically what happened was, our class had to submit a few files on the OneDrive as we are nearing our semester end.

The teacher shared a OneDrive link where we had to create a folder of our roll number and upload our files in it. So this one classmate of mine, just downloaded all of my files and reuploaded them.

How did I know? The screenshots had my name on it and it is clearly seen that those are my files. I have asked her to delete those files or edit them or else I will myself delete her folder and let her lose her marks. I don't care.

We have a 2 floor 3 bhk in Jaipur. I (22F) live with my family on ground floor and we rent out the first floor. Last year a group of 2 boys and one girl rented it out. The boys had jobs, both over 30, and the girl, around 22, studies and prepares for govt. jobs. All expenses managed by her father.

Around December last year, one of the boy's girlfriend left him which made him depressed to a point that he got a transfer on his job back to his hometown. This left the 2 people who felt the rent among the 2 was too much and told us they would leave. My family already had plans to stop continuing to rent anymore for personal reasons. I already had plans to start creating content in one of the rooms upstairs by setting it up properly.

Few months go by, they don't find anything suitable and say that they're staying back. At this point I was planning to leave my full-time job as I had started making enough from teaching on the side. I asked my mother if I could rent the extra room out for work. This is because my therapist told me to start building proper boundaries with work as I was having trouble sleeping. My mother spoke with them and they agreed that 3k rent will be paid by me their's will go down by the same number.

I setup all my books, table, teaching gear, ring light, and chair. But it was too hot during that time. This is around July. So I barely go because its too hot and I can't sit for long. I buy a cooler and increase the time. 2 months in and the guy calls my mother that he has a friend who he'd like to stay with and if I would leave the room. My mother refused.

A few points:

1. I never stay nights

2. I don't use bathroom upstairs

3. I spend maximum 7-8 hours maximum 4 days a week

4. I never glance in their rooms

5. Never comment on cleanliness or whatever

6. Never comment when their friends come to our house on their wfh days and use our wifi

7. I enter with my eyes on the floor, keep my door locked and leave with my eyes on the floor

8. I let them even keep their cartons in the spare area in my room

9. The girl kept offering to clean my room, I never accept that. I clean myself biweekly.

10. I do wear short clothes. These people come from rural background and I have seem them share glances when I where shorts. But I continue doing it.

11. My work involves speaking a lot and that I had already told them.

12. My mother had given them all our spare furniture, when she saw them struggling at the start, the rent did not consider any of these amenities.

I try my best to keep their privacy. I understand landlords can make tenants uncomfortable. I try my best to not do that by focusing on my work.

Now this month I have started getting requests for study material. My problem is that I am more active at night in such things, so I wanted to start staying back a bit late. But we dont have a 2 way lock. Everytime I'm leaving I call out to the girl to let her know so she can latch it from inside. I asked my mother if I could get a 2 way lock installed so even if I stayed back till late some day around 1 or 2 pm, the people and their things would be safe. I was willing to bear the complete cost. My mother spoke to the guy who said that its better to speak with the girl who's home more. When I spoke to her while in the presence of the guy, the guy said they'd talk and let me know.

This boy also brought over another guy to stay with him few days back and told my mother that he's here to try and find a job and him and his wife might stay with him for a few months. My mother refused and told him if he wanted that, he'd have to pay more money. They said how I have taken a whole room and how they will not be able to manage and then they started being unfriendly towards my mother.

Yesterday the girl told me that the boy told her that his privacy gets breached and he can't stay in his room locked all the time when I'm over and he's not comfortable with it. Honestly, my offer for the lock was for the safety of the girl and I don't breach any place the sits or stands. If he's naturally shy, I can't do much about it. I try to be friendly but he has never answered back properly. I also didn't like how he was constantly using the girl for communication.

So, I told the girl to let him know that he's free to find something else and leave so I can have 2 rooms for my work then. If she wants to stay back, she can. If not, she's free to follow him out. If they have any legit issues like money, resources, disturbance, electricity, water or safety, I can find a solution but I can't solve his psychological issues.

AITK for asking the boy to leave?

UPDATE: Today evening both of them came to my mother while I was at the gym and said that they discussed among themselves and had no issues anymore. They are not able to find this big of a house with so much freedom for same rent as they already tried their best last time. Not sure why they stretched it so much. But we still stand on the notice and have told them to vacate by end of the year as we don't want to rent anymore.

I discussed this with a friend who owns a PG nearby to understand if we really are overcharging based on few comments and he told me that he charges 13k for one room with kitchen and bathroom and that's the rate ongoing in our area right now. He even charges 2 rupees more than us per unit for electricity. Given the opening of a new mall a few kilometers away, its actually expected to go up in the new year. So we really aren't overcharging.

For anyone who thinks I am at fault here for using the room after everything was discussed and agreed by all parties, maybe its just because you're on the other side, so no hard feelings!

Update: My neighbour is badmouthing me to our mutual friends

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheKameena/s/CA1gllTcCE

I’ve found out that my neighbour has been telling our mutual friends that I refused to babysit her daughter and backed out at the last minute.
I’m worried they’re now seeing me as the bad person without knowing the full story.
I don’t want to badmouth her in return or create more drama, but I’m hurt and angry that setting a boundary has turned into this.

The neighbour keeps bullying my daughter that why is her daughter not invited for any more play dates. My daughter is put in a difficult position to stand up for herself and me too.

My dilemma: Should I confront my neighbour about badmouthing me and involving my daughter, or stay out of the drama and let our mutual friends believe what they want? How do I stand up for myself without making things worse?

Last year, my sister(19) ran away from our home after meeting a 45 years old Muslim man who works as a tailor. Moreover, she stole money from my parents as that man was unable to earn enough to make their ends met.

My parents were obviously against this relationship and filed a missing person's report when she ran away. After the cops found her, they asked my parents to come and meet and her to reach a resolution. My sister that she'll not return their money and wished they were dead. My parents were obviously heartbroken after this. Me and her were already low in contact before this and the same continued.

Last month, I got to know that her husband was already married to two other women and was forcing her to convert to Islam. She tried to reach us for help but my parents told her she died for them that day in the police station and never to call them again. She tried to plead me for help but I refused and reminded her that she made choices as an adult, and I am not responsible for them. Last week, I got to know that she was hospitalized and was not in good condition, but I remained indifferent.

Half of my friends also know her, and want me to help her. The other half agree with me and saying she is getting what she deserves. So, AITK for supporting my sister's individual decisions?

20(m) i'm a student studying an undergraduate degree, don't wanna reveal the uni/branch and dox myself I'm getting into a lot of trouble nowadays, my sister (28f) has always been supportive and helped me with my shit but I'm genuinely going through my own stuff and this whole matrimony apps and this thing is freaking me out, wtf am i supposed to do? she's getting mad at me saying i'm selfish and am not helping her when she needs help, guess she doesn't know what other 20 year olds are doing with their lives, I mean how is it normal for a 20 year old guy to look at strange men and review it daily, is it weird or am i making it a big deal?

I F48, have a trusted house help who has been with my family for around 2 decades. We live between Mumbai and Dubai. Now whenever we come to India, my help comes to live with me in my house for the entire duration of my stay in India. She also travels with me if needed since I have kids and sometimes I just need her around to watch the kids while we can go about doing our things during trips.

Whenever we visit my husband's mother, my help comes along, because magically during our visit, his mother will not be well. This has happened like clockwork for every visit. His mother hates that I bring my help, and even though I and her are the only two people who do the entire chores of the huge villa she lives in, his mother hates that I have help. She keeps talking bad about me to the help in front of me, tells my husband that I am bringing help along to enjoy and be a kaamchor etc etc. She even tells the help herself that she should not come with me from next time so that I work and do things herself. We have had clashes about several things in the past too and I am in no contact with his mother unless it's needed.

Now recently she has been advised to go for a major surgery. She will need someone at home later for post operative care too for about 2-3 months. There are plenty of Home Nurse providers in our area who are trained to care for such patients. But she is insisting that I send my maid to her. My husband called me to ask for our maids number and I refused. I informed that I won't be sharing her number nor will I ask her to travel to a state far away from Mumbai without my presence. She is also a village woman with very limited knowledge of the modern world.

I informed my husband there's no way my help will go, and that they should hire professional home nurses for this purpose. I clearly told my husband that after bitching and badmouthing about me to my own help, you expect me to send her to you? No chance.

Now they are pissed with me that I showed no empathy or sympathy to the situation etc. I also called my help privately to ask if she would be willing to go and she clearly refused even with good pay, because she is aware of my husband's mother's behaviour.

Husband's mother in the past had hired a home nurse after a similar hospitalization and the nurse left within 2 weeks because his mother expected the nurse to all the house chores, cooking, cleaning and also take care of her. She barely gets along with anyone..so I decided to not put my help through this shit even with generous money offered.

AITK?

​

My wife's friend recently invited my wife and daughter to her daughter's birthday party, but I wasn't invited.

At first, I didn't think much of it. I'm not friends with her husband, so I figured maybe she just wanted to keep things within her own circle. Fair enough.

But then I found out she'd invited some of her other friends' entire families, husbands included. So it wasn't a women-and-kids-only thing. Other husbands were invited, just not me.

What bothered me more was my daughter's reaction. She kept asking her mother why Papa wasn't coming to the party. She couldn't understand why she and her mom were invited but I wasn't. My wife found the whole thing odd, too, especially after learning that other families had been invited together.

I'm not someone who expects to be invited everywhere my wife goes. We can have separate friends and social lives. But when everyone else seems to be included as a family and you're the only one left out, it's hard not to take notice.

Now, my daughter's birthday is coming up next month, and I've decided to invite my wife's friend's daughter but not her parents.

I don't have anything against the little girl, and I don't want her caught up in something between adults. The girls can enjoy each other's birthdays without us having to make this more complicated than it needs to be.

I've discussed this with my wife, and she agrees with me. She also found the original situation strange, so it's not as though I'm making a fuss about something she considers perfectly normal.

I know her friend can invite whoever she wants to her daughter's birthday. I'm not arguing with that. But surely the same applies to me when it comes to my daughter's party?

I'm not planning to confront her or bring up the previous invitation. I'll simply invite her daughter and leave it at that, provided it's a party where children can attend without their parents.

Still, part of me wonders if I'm being petty. Maybe she has her reasons for inviting some families together and not others. I get that. But I also don't see why I should feel obliged to invite her and her husband when she didn't extend the same courtesy to me.

So, AITK? Am I being unnecessarily petty by inviting their daughter but leaving both parents out, or is it fair to return the same level of consideration I received?

okay so my nani came to visit a few days ago and she has been lowkey super absent in my life and now she barely talks to me at all bc of her depression or something along those lines that she had a few years ago. its not like she cant talk, she can but shes just selectively quiet and talks to my mom or her fav grandchild but doesnt make an effort as much with me.

today, my cat was napping on a chair and she saw him and quickly got up and sat on that same chair on the space that wasnt taken by my cat but she also very impulsively did it and could have easily sat on my cats leg or paw. the second she sat, my poor baby was startled awake and he ran under the chair (he was in such deep sleep). this pissed me off sooooo much because u can do whatever but if u do anything to my cat i will get mad at u irrespective of who u are.

so i got mad and told her "nani how can u do this. its so wrong of you to do something like that when he was clearly in such deep sleep. im really upset with you for doing that." and i said a bit more but it was all along these lines only. then my mom comes to me like 10 mins later and she starts getting mad at me?????? and she tells me "thats no way to speak to ur grandmother".

i dont know chat am i in the wrong for this????

Is it normal for parents to compare marks in mbbs?

I passed my first profs (first year mbbs exam) with 60%. My dad is a doctor. He congratulated and went with his day. My mom too was happy. She is not a doctor.

Due to how they were always comparing me in school, I just joked that would their colours change if they found out others students marks. They laughed and said only thing they expected is pass.

Well guess what. Today we had to shift to our new rooms in hostel. My parents helped with shifting as they live nearby. Some other students parents were there.

After shifting, I went out to out to eat with my parents. My mom casually mentioned that some students parents she talked to told that he got 70%. I said just hmm but I knew something was up.

A while later she asked my old roommmates (call him X) newly allotted roommate studies well. I said nah he passes exams same as me. Then she said “oh that’s good. Otherwise X’s parents would think he finally got a good studious roommate”. For some reason that irked me so I asked whats wrong? You told me to pass. I passed. Then she told “we asked u to pass only cause that’s what we could expect only from your level”. This pissed me off to another level.

I feel like even in my 30s she’s gonna be calling parents and asking how much their children got in neet pg lmao. At some point normal parents stop thinking about the marks right? They should only care if they pass or not.

Idk if this comes from me studying in a pvt college or not. It’s the the most reputed one in my state but often times I feel my parents have a certain control over me cus of this.

Me (M25) and my girlfriend(F22)

AITK for telling my girlfriend that when I go out to give me some peace but everytime I go out I even inform her and even when I am out I keep checking if she messaged but she reacts and tells every damn time that I don't care about her, I don't love her, and she starts reacting that it's all my fault that she is dependent on me and I don't even care about her.

Why every time I go out I have too be in dear that she might get angry, if I miss a message, if I don't see her for long she will start shouting

It's not that I am going out with any female or I am gone for full even half a day, I have only friend that too I go with him once in one or two weeks and every damn time she thinks we are talking about her and I tell her no we don't talk about partners and why would we, we just roam and comeback, it's same thing every damn time I go out be it with my friends, my family, or even me going alone but whenever she goes out I give her space, I give her own time and she even if is absent for long hours I don't even say a word but when I go out she says the same thing everytime that I don't even care a bit and I am selfish and she keeps threating for breakup and today she did broke up

TLDR: My girlfriend broke up with me today because I went out. Every time I leave the house—even if it's just for a few hours with my friend or family or even alone —she claims I don't love her, blames me for her emotional dependency, and accuses us of talking about her even when I am not and threatens me with breakup. I constantly check my phone in fear of her anger, even though I give her complete space and freedom when she goes out.

My bf asked me this q

'Do women get turned on thinking of getting r***d?'

To which I replied- maybe the best person to answer this question is your sister.

He got too triggered and, his feelings have changed for me and he blames me that I ruined our relationship.

And never have I ever asked such ugly typa q to him...

So, I recently found myself in a situation where my family is making me feel guilty about something I've been working towards for years, and I genuinely want some outside opinions.

After completing my degree and securing a job, one of my biggest dreams was to own a Royal Enfield Himalayan and go on bike trips, just like the ones I used to watch on YouTube and Instagram. I've always loved the idea of travelling on a bike, exploring new places, and having those experiences for myself.

For the past two years, I've been saving money specifically for this dream. I've finally saved enough to buy a brand-new Himalayan, along with the necessary riding gear. This isn't some random impulse purchase I decided on last week. It's something I've planned and worked towards for a long time.

Here's where the problem starts.

My parents want me to use that money to help my elder brother build his house instead. My brother is married and has a child, and he's currently building a house for his family. Honestly, I respect him for that, and I understand that providing a home for his wife and child is important. I'm happy that he's working towards building a future for them.

However, I don't believe that automatically makes his responsibilities mine.

For some context, I'm not someone who refuses to contribute to the family or help my parents financially.

* My salary is around ₹65,000 per month.

* My parents are retired, and I contribute ₹10,000 every month towards them.

* My father also receives a pension, so my parents are financially stable.

* After rent and all my monthly expenses, I spend around ₹30,000.

* I also invest some money through SIPs and save separately for my bike.

I've been managing my finances responsibly and saving towards my goal rather than spending recklessly.

We also have a family home where my parents currently live after retirement. My brother is building a separate house for his own family, including his wife, child, and potentially more children in the future.

I understand why he wants a house of his own, and I'm not against him doing that. But I don't think it's fair to expect me to hand over the money I've saved for my own dream simply because he's at a different stage of life.

I'm still young, and I don't see myself getting married anytime soon. This is one of the few opportunities I have to pursue something I've wanted for years, before I potentially have more responsibilities of my own.

I could even buy the bike on EMI and pay it off over three years, using the money I would otherwise continue saving each month. But I've worked hard to save enough to buy it outright, and I'd rather do that than take on unnecessary debt.

When I refused to give my savings to my brother, my parents weren't happy. Recently, some relatives and even my bhabhi have been mocking my decision, suggesting that I consider a bike more important than my own family.

That's what has started making me question myself.

I don't hate my brother, I don't resent his family, and I don't want him to struggle. But why does supporting my family have to mean putting my own dreams on hold, especially when I'm already contributing financially?

At the same time, I understand that family is important, and perhaps I'm looking at this too individualistically. Maybe there are circumstances I'm not considering.

So, Reddit, am I wrong for refusing to give my brother my savings and choosing to buy my dream bike instead? Should I postpone this dream for a few more years to help him build his house, or is it reasonable to enjoy the money I've worked hard to save for myself?

I'd genuinely appreciate honest opinions, even if you disagree with me.

I (27F) am married to my husband (29M), and we have a 2-year-old son. Ours was a love marriage, but over the years, we've realised we aren't very compatible. We're still together, but the same issues keep coming up.

I'm not claiming to be a perfect wife, but most of our arguments seem to revolve around my family or me wanting to go somewhere without him.

My father passed away, and my mother and sister are currently living in a rented house nearby while my sister works. Before they arranged their accommodation, my sister temporarily stayed with us with our permission. My husband has been unhappy about this, and he also criticises my sister for sending her son to preschool because he believes young children shouldn't attend. My nephew once caught a cold, and my husband blamed it on preschool.

The bigger issue is that my husband seems uncomfortable with my son spending time away from him. He says my sister could molest our son, despite nothing ever happening to suggest this. He also says I'm not capable of protecting my child, giving examples like someone potentially kidnapping him while we're at a restaurant. He spends a lot of time on the internet, and I feel these fears are influencing his behaviour.

Recently, on the anniversary of my father's death, my family wanted to prepare food in his memory. We don't observe death anniversaries as a regular custom, and I have given charity in my father's name for years. My husband called the food preparation bid'ah. I wasn't particularly attached to the ritual itself; I wanted to spend time with my mother and sister that day.

I asked to stay at my mother's house with my son. My husband argued that I could go, but my son had to stay with him. I eventually went without my son, but my husband was still angry afterwards, saying I should have prioritised my child over my family. I told him I wanted to spend time with them, not perform a religious ritual, and that he couldn't dictate whether I was allowed to see my family.

There are other issues, too. My husband provides basic groceries but often doesn't get them on time, even though I have to cook for his father, who comes over daily to eat. Sometimes I spend my own money on groceries or food, and it can take months to get reimbursed. I don't receive a personal allowance, and he doesn't contribute towards things like my phone recharge. We live in his family's apartment, so we don't pay rent.

He also gets irritated whenever I want to go out or visit somewhere at a particular time. He's generally fine as long as I'm at home.

I know there are two sides to every story, and I'm willing to accept that I may be wrong about some things. But I'm exhausted by the constant conflict.

AITK for wanting to spend time with my family and wanting my son to be able to spend time with them too? Am I being unreasonable, or are these legitimate concerns about my marriage?

I (26F) have been in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend (27M) for 4 years. I’m sure I want to marry him. My parents may not agree immediately, but I’m willing to fight for the relationship.

He says he wants to marry me too, but he doesn’t want to give me that assurance yet. His family is quite conservative about caste, so he knows there could be problems from his side. He says he first wants to see whether we’re actually compatible enough for marriage—whether we can handle each other, support each other, and deal with problems together.

We’ve obviously had fights during these 4 years, but I believe that’s a normal part of a relationship. You learn from them and move forward. We also can’t predict every problem that will come after marriage because life will always throw unexpected things at us.

What hurts me is feeling like I’m still being “tested” after 4 years to see whether he can live with me or handle me. I feel like these 4 years should already have been the time when we observed each other and figured out whether we wanted to build a life together.

He also says he feels unsupported by me, so I’m trying to understand his side instead of completely dismissing it.

But I don’t want to wait indefinitely while he decides whether I’m someone he wants to marry. I want the assurance that he is choosing me too.

I’d genuinely like to hear different perspectives, including if you think I’m looking at this the wrong way. Is his hesitation reasonable after 4 years, or is it fair for me to expect more certainty at this point? What would you do in my situation?

Some context: I ride a scooter, and I usually stick to the leftmost lane. We all know how some khadoos four-wheelers love to push left just to stop bikers from overtaking, which is fine, it's just regular traffic stuff.

It had rained heavily recently. Traffic was almost at a standstill. I was crawling along the extreme left side of the road when I suddenly spotted a massive crater hiding under a puddle of water right in front of me. I had to brake suddenly to avoid plunging into it. As I stopped, my right rearview mirror lightly tapped the left mirror of the car next to me.

There was absolutely no damage. No scratches, nothing broken. I was completely stopped, so I pulled up my visor, and the passenger (in the front left) rolled down his window.

I immediately and very humbly apologized.

Uncle: "First you hit me, then you apologize?"

Fair enough, I guess. I apologized once again.

Uncle: "If you hit me, it would have pained me less."

I could honestly relate to the sentiment about loving your vehicle, which is exactly why I had stopped and apologized instead of fleeing. So I told him respectfully, "I understand, I have the same feeling."

This somehow flipped a switch in him.

Uncle: (Now shouting) "Now I should hit you!"

Me: "Okay, hit me. What more can I say?"

The guy on a bike behind me tried to play peacemaker. He told the uncle, "Ho gaya bhaiya, mafi mang li aapne, ab aage badho" (It's done brother, he apologized, please move forward).

The uncle ignored him and just kept screaming, "I should hit you!" from inside his car.

Me: "Please take my insurance info, will that be enough to settle this?"

Uncle: "You are teaching me law?! I have a son like you!"

Mind you, this guy looked like he was in his mid-50s, and I am almost pushing 40s. I don't know much about biology, but the math definitely wasn't adding up. I'd had enough of the drama.

Me: "Look, I am currently going to court to get bail on my mordor case. Please come with me, we will settle it there." (Note: I actually was going to court, but for completely unrelated and normal reasons, and I absolutely do not have a unaliving charge).

The guy immediately rolled his window straight up. The signal turned green, I ripped the throttle, flipped him the bird, and drove off.

I feel like my initial mistake was genuine and I tried to de-escalate, but I definitely chose violence at the end with the mowdow comment and the middle finger. My logic was, he did mention that he should now hit me with his car, which is technically a d**th threat, so I did NOT give a d**th threat. AITK for how I handled the ending?

Edit and PS: I have use Gemini to properly articulate my account of events. This is a real story that happened with me today.

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My wife's sister's husband recently came to me asking for ₹10 lakh because he says he's in urgent financial trouble.

He's an IIT graduate and was working at a company, but he lost his job somehow. He says he now has to pay ₹10 lakh to his former company and needs the money urgently.

The thing is, we aren't close at all. We hardly ever talk to each other.

What makes this situation particularly awkward is that I've seen how he lived when things were going well. He travelled by flight regularly, spent money quite freely, and even showed me expensive gems and diamonds he had bought. I never judged him for any of that—it was his money and his choice.

But now, during his financial crisis, he has come to me asking for ₹10 lakh.

I said no.

I didn't insult him or bring up his lifestyle. I simply refused to give him the money.

My wife feels that he's family and that we should help him because he's going through a difficult period. I understand her point, but I don't feel particularly responsible for someone I barely have a relationship with, especially when I don't even know the full circumstances of why he owes his former company ₹10 lakh.

I do feel bad that he's in this situation. But I also don't think being someone's relative by marriage automatically means becoming their financial safety net.

So, Reddit, am I the Kameena for saying no when my wife's sister's husband asked me for ₹10 lakh?

EDIT: I forgot to mention that my wife told me he also has ridiculously priced Women's bag. The price is 35 whopping lakhs. When I heard for the 1st time,I was literally shocked. I told his wife to sell bag. What happened I didn't know

Four or five years ago my sister, who is eight years older than me used to ask me a lot to bring her snacks. The snacks were usually bought with my parents money. I would bring them for her. I also wanted snacks for myself so I would bring two. One for her and one for me.

The important part is that I often did this because I was afraid of her. If I said no to bringing her snacks she would argue with me or yell at me so I felt that I couldn't really say no. My parents didn't know that I was afraid of her or that I felt pressured to do these things. Looking back I felt that she was treating me like someone who had to serve her than like an equal sibling.

A few years have passed now. My sister moved to another country and the old way we were together no longer exists. In fact we don't really talk to each other anymore.

Recently she came back to India for a family visit. Brought some snacks. She had bought those snacks with her money. She kept them in the kitchen not in her room. I wasn't sure whether she had bought them for herself or if they were meant to be shared with the family. Because they were in the kitchen I thought they might be for the family.

I did know that the snacks belonged to her and she had not given me permission to eat them. She may have told my mother that they were hers. She had not told me anything about them before.

I started eating the snacks without asking her. When she saw me she told me to stop. Instead of stopping I said no and spoke to her in a rude way. I said something, like:

“Didn't you eat whatever I brought for you many times? I have the right to eat it."

My reaction wasn’t just because I wanted the snacks. Part of me wanted to get at her for how she had treated me before. I felt that she had always expected me to bring her things when I was too afraid to say no. So I thought she shouldn't now be able to tell me that I couldn't eat something she had brought.

My old college friends and I (3 of us) are planning a short trip to Rishikesh, Dehradun, Mussoorie, and Landour. They want to go Oct 17-19. I suggested Oct 25-27 instead.

My reasons:

Oct 17-18 is a Saturday-Sunday, Oct 19 is the last day of Navratri. Because of the weekend and festivities, I fear it would be very chaotic and crowded. I get overwhelmed in crowds very fast and end up irritated, and I don't want to spend money and time only to be miserable.

Hotels and cabs will probably cost more on the weekend, too.

But my friends can't take much leave, so they want to squeeze everything into a rushed weekend. If a trip needs a few days and you can't spare them because of your job or personal stuff, then why force it into a window where it will become hectic and rushed?

I don't want to spend 12-15k on a trip only to regret it later on because I was stuck in traffic with my motion sickness instead of enjoying myself. I can take a whole week off, I don't mind spending 20-25 even 30k or so. But I want a good relaxing time.

The students on a budget in the trenches trip they are trying to give me sounds less and less appealing as even planning and coordination with them is so hard.

I think my reasons are valid, but I don't want to be the person who ruins the plan. So, AITK? Is it reasonable to ditch this, or am I over estimating the crowd and the chaos?