I hosted a small get-together at my new place and sent everyone a note that I wanted people to skip the super casual stuff. My cousin Michael showed up in basketball shorts and an old t-shirt, so I pulled him aside in the hallway and asked if he could throw on the jeans he had in his car. He looked surprised, then annoyed, and said it was just a hangout and no one else cared. I told him it was still my place and I was trying to keep it from feeling like a backyard barbecue. He ended up leaving after twenty minutes, and a couple of my friends later told me he was texting them that I made a big deal over nothing. I still think the heads-up made it reasonable, but he clearly felt singled out and now the family group chat is awkward.

to put it as simply as possible without neglecting to give crucial context, i (18) smoke marijuana and take prescription medication (which is mine and legal for me to take.)
my friend/partner (dont ask) does not enjoy the fact that i smoke, and a couple of friends that precede them have suggested to me that i have a drug problem. i do not like this. this friend also lowkey felt like he was taking advantage of me whenever i wasnt sober, but i dont feel like this is the case.

now, you may be wondering, “hey, aren’t you 18? why are you smoking marijuana?” well, a bit of background; i have extreme, extreme chronic pain as well as mental health issues. that and More are what caused me to be put on the medication i referred to earlier. it isn’t an opiate nor is it a benzo, but there is addiction and dependency risk and unfortunately ive had to take my dose into my own hands because i’m not getting properly treated. love-hate relationship with the medication. i can actually get things done now that ive upped my dose, but i still have puzzling neurological and nerve issues.

whenever someone asks me about my smoking or my medication (im very open about them and open to questions), it usually leads to them trying to get me to quit. i understand where it comes from, but for one i dont think im a heavy user of marijuana (i smoke most days out of two weeks and then take a break for three-ish, correct me if this is heavy smoking), and secondly the marijuana and medication keep me from being genuinely inconsolable from pain most of the time.

Yes I may be a bit dependent on these at times since i have no other help and i need to get things done, but am i an asshole for denying that i need help with the drug use specifically (not the pain and disability)? It’s been nagging at me and I feel guilty. So guilty. Eight times out of ten I’m not using it for fun. I’ve been told seriously that I need to go to rehab.

Please be honest! I don’t feel like anything from my friends are coming from a place of malice, but I don’t think it’d be wise to stop. I spent weeks screaming my head off in pain ready to check all the way and now when it flares i have something but im starting to feel bad for doing it. It wasn’t that friend/partner that said most of whats raising my doubts, but since they mentioned it? It’s been nagging at me again.

i (26f) have lived in this apartment with my spouse for 3 years now and never had any issues, got along with the landlord (we’ll call him Jim). this was until a year ago when the landlord’s mother, Carol, moved into the downstairs apartment.

she had 2 very loud dogs that would bark nonstop for hours nearly every day. i politely texted my landlord several times about this issue and his response basically was “ill talk to her about it but its a pet friendly building and you have pets too” i have a cat which is silent and if i’d known there would be loud dogs i wouldn’t have moved in here.

when we moved in we had different downstairs neighbors who were very nice but they moved out. i also work remotely and he said “i rent living space not working space, go to the library if its too loud”. anyway i documented all of this and filed a complaint with code enforcement and dog control, and was basically told that the worst that could happen is she gets a $50 fine. the dog control officer essentially told me to live somewhere else. this went on for MONTHS. i dealt with it because i didn’t want conflict and my spouse didn’t want me to say anything.

anyway, one of the dogs passed away a couple months ago, and the other one died a couple weeks ago. she then got a new puppy last week. a blue heeler. she leaves for work at like 7am and the dog barks extremely loud and high pitched and wakes me up. a few days ago it barked for 3 hours straight and i tried to use noise canceling headphones but i could still hear it.

i texted Jim and he basically said “its a new dog getting used to the environment”. i then was woken up the past 3 days in a row at 7:15am by loud high pitched barking right below me. i texted Jim again each time it woke me up so it was documented, basically just saying “hey Jim, i was woken up by loud barking.” i also said quiet enjoyment is impossible with the barking. he ignored me each time.

so today when it woke me up at 7, i sent this text: “hi Jim, once again i have been woken up by repeated nonstop high pitched barking. nuisance barking that is longer than 15 minutes in duration is a violation of noise ordinances, not to mention a breach of our lease. if this continues i will take legal action. i don’t want issues at all but i have the right to quiet enjoyment also under state law. we are good tenants, we’re quiet and we pay our rent on time and keep to ourselves and this situation is very disheartening.”

he has ignored it. my spouse said i was too aggressive and is afraid we will be evicted. the sensory overload and sleep deprivation are things i cannot deal with.

unfortunately i can’t afford to move out and there’s no other apartment nearby that would be a good fit financially/logistically. there are also maintenance issues with the apartment that he hasn’t fixed which i haven’t kept after him about for sake of trying to keep the peace. but i can’t have any more stress in my life especially with my health issues. so, AITA?

EDIT: tried to fix formatting (im on mobile)

Context: I have OSFED which im diagnosed with, its a type of eating disorder that doesnt meet the requirements of anorexia, bulimia or binge eating disorder, mine is a type that causes binging and restriction where i either dont eat enough or i eat thousands of calories with no in between. This is important because my mum knows i have an eating disorder as my mum drives me to weekly sessions.

Today my mum asked me if i wanted a takeaway and was kind of pressuring , she really wanted a kebab and cheesy chips/fries and at first, i wanted it and even gave her money for it so she could buy it as she paid for my lunch earlier.

My mum has never been helpful with my eating disorder. She has always denied it even though i knew i had it since i was 15, i decided to get help the second i turned 18 and was legally an adult. She has always brought me loads of food in forms of takeaways without understanding that i cant control myself around them.

She got the takeaway and eventually, i didnt even want it anymore, i already had dinner tonight so im full from that and i dont see the point on force feeding myself another meal that will only be a waste which is something i really struggle with, takeaways are one of my biggest weaknesses.

I kept telling her i dont want it and if i could eat it for lunch tomorrow because i had enough food today , she got very annoyed because in her view, i really wanted it in the first place and shes really annoyed at me, i had to keep telling her no i dont want it again and again and she kept trying to get me to eat it.

I literally dont have any desire to eat right now, like i said i already had dinner and i get that its annoying that i said i wanted a kebab then but now i dont want it but isnt it a good thing that im not eating when im not hungry.

Ill only regret it the next day like i do with all the other massive takeaways ive had including last week. Every single time, i wish i had never eaten that much, im not against massive takeaways and im all for them but in my opinion, it should be a main meal not be treated like a late night snack like when my mum orders them.

From her pov though, im wasting perfectly good food. I dont like wasting food but in my view, im trying to say that im either wasting it by physically throwing it away or its wasting it by going into my body when i dont need the excess calories. Its just two types of waste.

I’m a single mom ( f 39) to a daughter(12) .

For context I am also the sole caregiver for my mother who is currently going though Alzheimer’s, + dementia. Sunday , I went and bought groceries just for her, including a six pack of Canada Dry there were also two other 2 L in the refrigerator as well .I went today to put a couple of cans into the refrigerator only to find have all disappeared. When i asked my daughter she shrugged and said she has no idea what happened to them , but she was the last one to move them because I asked her to take them out of the kitchen and place them on the dresser in my room.

I know my my mother has sometimes drinks a lot of soda, which is why I ration it out but the other cans never made it to the refrigerator or my room they’ve simply disappeared into thin air . When I asked my daughter again she still insist she doesn’t know although she was the last one I saw with them .
I then her because she could not tell me the truth Halloween is now canceled . Now her father is calling me telling me that I’m being ridiculous am I the asshole???

My brother is furious with me, and our parents think I am being ungrateful over a gadget, but I honestly feel like I am being gaslit.
My birthday was a couple of weeks ago. I finally upgraded to the new Galaxy S26 Ultra, mostly because I wanted to take advantage of Samsung’s famous camera setup for street photography. Knowing this, my brother surprised me with a new Telesin camera grip for my birthday. It is honestly such a cool piece of gear that adds a physical shutter button and a proper mirrorless-style grip to the phone. I was so excited and happy when I got it.
When he handed it to me, I thanked him, but I also told him straight up: Hey, this is awesome, but we agreed on a smaller gift budget between us. Let me Venmo you half so we can split it.
He brushed it off and said: Don’t worry about it, consider it a joint investment because I want to borrow it for my upcoming road trip. I thought that settled it.
Well, fast forward to yesterday. We were splitting bills from a family dinner, and he sent me a Venmo request that included the full $130 for the camera kit agged on top of my dinner share.
I texted him asking what that extra charge was. He replied: Oh, since you have been using that grip constantly to test out the S26 camera for your street photos and posting about it, you clearly love it. You should just pay for it yourself.
I refused to pay $130. I reminded him of our conversation where he called it a gift or joint investment, and offered to either pay my half ($65) as we originally discussed or just give the kit back to him if he wanted full reimbursement.
Now he is calling me cheap, and my mom says I should just pay it to keep the peace since I am already enjoying how well the physical shutter pairs with the new Samsung camera.
I feel like I am in a really awkward spot over a misunderstanding about a birthday present. AITA?

My girlfriend (23F) and I (24F) moved into an apartment together almost five months ago. I genuinely thought I was ready because I wanted independence and wanted to build a life with her. She also has a difficult relationship with her mom, and I understood why she wanted to leave home. I agreed to the move because I wanted us to have our own space and build a future together.

However, since moving out, I’ve been struggling with anxiety, homesickness, and a constant feeling of heaviness that makes it difficult to enjoy this new chapter. The stress has even made me physically sick.
Before moving out, I was comfortable living with my family. There were things I didn’t like, but I had my routines and felt at home. Looking back, I think I would have waited another two years to save money and prepare emotionally. Realistically, though, I don’t think I could have known how difficult this would be until I experienced it.

Now I’m considering moving back home after our lease ends. The problem is that my girlfriend sees moving back as a step backward. She’s made it clear that if I move back home, our relationship will end, and she won’t consider trying again in a few years. She wants us to build our life together now.

I understand her perspective. I agreed to move, and I know she has her own reasons for wanting to leave her mom’s house. I don’t want her to feel like I made a commitment and am now abandoning her, especially when leaving that environment was important to her. I also don’t want her to feel like she has to return to a home where she’s unhappy.

I love her and want a future with her, but I’m questioning whether I was ready to move out when we did. I’m willing to genuinely try to adjust, but I’m scared that even if I try my hardest, I’ll still want to go home. I don’t want to give up on our relationship, but I also don’t want to ignore how I’m feeling or commit to a living situation that may not be right for me.

AITA for wanting to move back home after our lease ends, knowing that my girlfriend left a difficult home environment and that my decision could end our relationship? Am I giving up too easily, or is it reasonable to realize that I may not be ready for this step yet?

Update: to put some more clarity on my relationship- not the situation. My girlfriend is everything to me , we have never had any doubts or conflicts about or with our relationship until this. We didn’t even truly argue about this it was a conversation.

Lemme preface by saying my parents are traditional African and Haitian.

I moved in with my uncle in his 4 bedroom house 6 days ago. He has one room, his daughter has another, my parents share one and I have the last. My parents pay half my uncles mortgage. My dad had his clothes in the room I am currently in. A bunch of suits and dress clothes he barely wears. My uncle told me to tell my dad to move his stuff to make room for me. So I asked my dad to make room for my clothes. They said no I dropped it. To my surprise they can’t get over it. Apparently that was super disrespectful of me to ask and it caused a whole issue. They want me to move out and say I am too disrespectful. I swear this is all over a closet. I work in a line of work that requires me to dress business casual often. My dad works at Olive Garden. I do feel like it’s a bit unfair for me to have to live out of my suitcase and I can’t hang up my clothes. I don’t even have a dresser and my uncle won’t let me add hooks to the wall. I am so confused as to why this is a big issue. Am I out of pocket for asking my dad to make room for me? Did I break some parental code that I am not aware of?

I (22M) work in banking and get home only around 8pm. I’ve been making it a habit to get back in the gym and lift metal again like I had been 4x a week in college.

I go to this Russian gym near my house which generally has a chill atmosphere and isn’t anal about rules/noise, especially if you’re Russian speaking like myself, and as long as you aren’t a pig. I had been going to this gym consistently for about 1.5 years by now, and never had an issue with anyone/anything. Until this middle aged personal trainer/staff dude joined.

My first interaction with him was a few months back where I was doing chest press and didn’t put back the 45 pound plates after I finished. This was an early morning lift while I was still waiting on my Banking start date, and there were maybe 3 other dudes besides myself in this large section. Of course, this PT guy was apparently paying attention to me and approached me after my first dumbbell set asking me to re rack the 45s from my previous exercise.

I was annoyed as fuck because 1) no one in this gym besides him ever gave/gives a fuck about reracking, and 2) he interrupted my music and exercise. I still bit my tongue and said “alright” and put them back. Again, maybe 20% of the people here re-rack, and I’ve literally worked out right next to this Ukrainian personal trainer who gave me a pointer on form, and didn’t give a rats ass when I didn’t re-rack. It’s clear this guy has nothing better to do.

Fast forward today, 4 months later. It’s a packed gym, and I get to the shoulder press. It’s late and I’m tired after a long work day. The press already has 35s on it, so I simply add another 5 and a 10, then do my 3x12 as usual. I finish and take all the plates of together, putting them on the same bar/handle/whatever you wanna call it. Clearly re-racked.

Nope, with my luck this guy is obviously there and STILL comes up to me shaking his head sarcastically saying “nye, nye” (no in Russian). Clearly on his power trip. I ask him point blank “Sup. what’s the problem, I re racked it?”

He tells me in this demeaning babying tone that you have to rerack properly, and that he had cleaned it all out until I got here. I was getting pissed and told him “there were literally un-racked 35s when I got here, and I got the other weights from 2 steps away. Does it matter that much where I put them?”. He starts responding in this same smartass manner, even though he was already re-racking for me. Mid-sentence, I said “Ok, got it” and turned my back on him, moving on with my routine, before he could finish his word salad. 50/50 on whether he was searching my membership, as I saw him at the front desk on my way out.

Mind you, I’ve seen countless people leave their 45 pound plates on, and he’s NEVER approached them. Yet not even 3 seconds after I finish my exercise, he’s on my ass.

AITA for going against this dude?

For context I/my family own a row home/townhouse I live there and rent the other 2 rooms to friends of mine. There are 3 of us living there me, Ken, and jess. I also have three cats. There's like a back/she'd kitchen attached to the kitchen that clearly was an addition before I owned it and it's not well insulated so it gets gold and causes the room above to be cold as well as creatures some times getting into the roof. My one cat Leo loves smushing himself into places to explore/sleep, I really just let him do his thing cause he a weird guy.

Recently Jen and Jess said they heard something in the shed kitchen roof and how we should go up there and get it, I told them it'll leave and if it's still a problem I'll call my dad to better fix it. We hadn't heard anything for weeks so I thought it was over with but I did text my dad to ask him to fix it still.

But the other day Leo somehow found a way to climb on Jess and jens things that they keep in the shed and he was able to get into the ceiling. They both freaked out thinking something new got in and when we all checked Leo came crashing out the ceiling.

I burst out laughing but they weren't amused, called me an asshole and that I'm an unfit animal owner. They've been telling our friends I put my cars in unsafe places and allow wild animals in the house without a care. I have told them the shed is scheduled to get fixed and my cat falling out the ceiling wasn't that big of a deal as he was fine and he's taken worse falls as he is clumsy and likes to climb.

They're ignoring me currently and now I'm wondering if I was an asshole?

I’ve been telling my partner of 2 years for months that the weekend of GTA 6 I won’t be doing any plans except playing the game.

One of my partners friends and colleague has organised a meal out because she is going on maternity leave the week after and they couldn’t do it that weekend as they are busy. I told my partner I’m not going to the meal I’ve been wanting to play this game since the release date was announced and as a lifelong gamer it’s important to me the last GTA came out when I was 14.

Now she’s making me feel like an asshole for refusing to go to this meal with her friends because I want to play a game that “I can play at another time”

So am I the asshole for refusing to go to this meal out?

My boyfriend (M) and I have been together for 3.5–4 years.
The issue isn’t just shopping. I love shopping, visiting cafes, trying new cuisines, and exploring new places. Whenever we do something I want to do, he rarely seems enthusiastic. But when we’re visiting his friends or doing something he enjoys, I bring my full energy because I want to participate in his world, too.
He has good qualities. He cooks for me and buys me gifts sometimes ( I do too )However, out of roughly ten shopping trips together, nine have ended in serious fights or tears. He’s even called me low-intellect for liking shopping.
I grew up without many friends or sisters, and shopping became something I genuinely enjoyed. I always imagined sharing these little experiences with my partner. Now, I’m starting to associate them with sadness.
Recently, M had to work on a Sunday (3.5-4hour)and there was a shopping festival in Delhi ( which I have wanted to go to since 1 year coz I missed it last year coz of him).He initially suggested I go while he played cricket. I said that if he had the energy to play cricket after work, I’d appreciate him accompanying me instead. However, I explicitly told him he didn’t have to come if he was genuinely tired.
He came, but wasn’t interested in the stalls or food. I didn’t insist he participate; I was just happy he was there.
I asked him a couple of times if he was tired or wanted to leave. He kept saying, “No, do your thing. I’m fine. It’s your decision.”
After leaving the market, I urgently needed a washroom. There was a five-star hotel about a kilometre away, and I asked him to walk there with ( coz it was late at night and I also told him this inside the market),and my journey home would take over an hour. I’ve struggled with holding my pee on long journeys before and didn’t want to risk being unable to stop an Uber.
He suggested I control it a little, but we went to the hotel.
Afterward, he called me selfish and said this was why I had no friends, why nobody wanted to go shopping with me, and that I should learn to adjust. He said I could have controlled it instead of making him walk.also texted me multiple times saying what a sh*tty person I am
For context, we regularly walk 10–12 km together, so an extra kilometre didn’t seem unreasonable to me. However, I understand that he might have been tired after work.
What hurt most was that I’d given him the option not to come, checked whether he wanted to leave, and thanked him for accompanying me. He hadn’t clearly communicated how frustrated he was until he started insulting me. All this made me cry the entire way home where he continued talking. He makes me feel like my tears or me wanting to pee badly doesn’t matter to him ( there have been previous incident where I controlled it so bad I thought I’ll die but he didn’t care )
The reason I’m so heartbroken is that I wanted just ONE day where we could do something I enjoy without being berated for it. Just one day. And somehow, even that feels impossible. Btw shopping is the only thing I asked on 2 of my birthdays and it ended in a fight and tears one year and not happening another year
AITA for asking him to walk an extra kilometre so I could use a clean washroom?
Edit - We already do stuff he likes and even I like it ! And if I don’t I do it for him with happiness. There’s hardly anything I would do with him that I don’t like from his errands to his friends parties. Also we never watch anything on to that I want to watch

Recently I (26F) and my partner (30F), got into a huge argument over me routinely forgetting to do things she asks of me. I seem to constantly forget to do things like take meat out of the freezer or check the mail. I noticed that a lot of the things I forget revolve around food. Note that my partner and I agreed that I am responsible for laundry and dishes. She I responsible for cooking. We tag team grocery shopping, which includes splitting the bill for those trips.

She told me that she hates when I use the excuse "I forgot". When I say this, I genuinely forget or mishear her. I don't mean to at all. She calls me selfish for only being able to remember things for myself. From my perspective, the only way I remember things is if I write them down or set a reminder on my phone for them. I even corrected myself the other day when I forgot to write down stuff for the grocery list and did it immediately. I don't understand what else I can do. I have even tried to limit my screen time around her so that I can be more present.

Edit: I have been taking notes and using reminders. I realized I didn’t make that clear in my original post. Thank you all for responding and being honest. My frustration comes from that fact that she doesn’t seem to notice that I am trying to be better

So my friend Alex is thinking about calling in sick tomorrow but he actually has plans to go to a concert. He asked if I would tell his boss that he was helping me move if anyone checked. I am considering just saying I cannot do that. It feels like a small lie but it could turn into a bigger problem for me at work if it ever came up.

My boyfriend not is not my son’s father (this is important). My son is 3.
A toy store was holding a competition where you could enter a child to win LEGO sets worth up to $1,500. You could list up to 10 sets, including their names and product numbers.

My boyfriend entered my son without asking me first. The form had a checkbox stating something along the lines of, “I, as the child’s parent/guardian, consent to my child participating.” He checked it and wrote down his own name.
However, that’s not what made me angry.

FIVE OUT OF THE TEN SETS HE LISTED WERE FOR HIMSELF.

And no, these weren’t sets he planned to build with my son. They were genuinely for himself to build and keep at his own apartment.
When I questioned him, he explained that he wanted to get as close to the $1,500 prize limit as possible. He also planned to enter my son into another competition at a different store, listing only sets for him there.
I understand his logic to an extent, but I still have a problem with it. Even if my son won both competitions, my boyfriend would still have used half the slots in the first competition to potentially win himself LEGO.
To me, it feels like using an opportunity intended for a child to get free stuff for yourself. My son could have had five more sets listed for him instead.
I know winning isn’t guaranteed, so I can’t literally say anything was stolen from him. But it’s the principle of it. Why use a competition entered in a child’s name to win things for yourself that you’ll keep at your own place?
I also got incredibly angry, to the point where I was physically shaking. I didn’t yell, swear at him, or call him names, but I told him I was absolutely livid.
I made it clear that I thought the original idea was lovely and appreciated that he wanted to get LEGO for my son. I would even have agreed to the entry if he’d asked me first!
My issue was that he consented to the competition as a guardian, despite not being my son’s father, and that he used half the available slots for his own personal collection.
I’m autistic, and sometimes I struggle to judge whether my reactions are proportionate, which is why I’m asking here.
Am I overreacting? Is his explanation reasonable, or is it selfish to use half of a child’s competition entry to potentially win things for yourself, even if you plan to enter the child into another competition afterwards?

ys?

I (30F) am part of a dance class run by my husband’s cousin (40sF). In our South Asian family culture, age hierarchy is huge; you respect your elders and don't push back. Historically, she has always been abrasive and rude when teaching group routines for community events, but I swallowed my pride to keep family peace.

A year ago, she opened a formal dance school. I was her biggest cheerleader, offering free help with branding and social media, throwing her a surprise one-year anniversary celebration with hand painted gifts, and running logistics. She refuses to let me pay for classes because “we’re family,” but that free tuition has become a weapon. She openly uses me as an emotional punching bag during rehearsals, literally saying she can yell at me because “as family, you’ll take it in the right spirit.” If anyone talks, I get blamed.

I am currently dealing with severe postpartum depression and massive personal stress, which she knows about.

A couple of days ago, my husband was out of town. I notified the group that I had to leave practice by 7:30 PM to pick up our toddler from a friend, cook dinner, and put him to bed. She lashed out in the group chat, saying practice was for my benefit and claiming I should have spoken up when practice was scheduled (they scheduled this when i was not around and only informed the previous night at 11:30).

I still showed up. I was dealing with brutal period cramps on top of exhaustion, so I stayed completely quiet, focused on dancing, and didn't chat. Midway through, she marched up to my face, waved her finger at me, snapped, “I will call you, we need to talk,” and walked off.

She called at 8:00 PM. I didn't pick up, my husband told me to protect my peace to not bother. Late that night, she bombarded me with texts accusing me of having a bad attitude, telling me to keep my personal problems out of her class, and saying she worked too hard to let my "problems and pains" affect her.

In the morning, I politely explained that I was silent purely due to physical pain and saving my energy, reminding her she often tells us not to talk anyway. She fired back accusing me of "playing games" and bringing "drama for the slightest inconvenience." Ten minutes later, she tagged me in the group chat and publicly banned me from that evening's costume rehearsal, telling me to "do yours at home."

The big showcase is in 3 days. I am mentally shattered. Last night, I literally found myself wishing I would break a bone or catch something severe just to have an excuse out. Once this event passes, I am cutting professional ties and leaving her school for good.

However, dropping out four days before the performance will ignite a massive family feud if I do it honestly, especially with her elder status. The only way to step back without an all-out war is having an indisputable physical excuse.

WIBTA if i quit the dance 3 days before the big performance? Any suggestions on what i can say to get out of it?

I needed a third opinion, so I decided to go here so I hope I am doing this right. I am 22 years old and recently went out with family for a big fall dinner. I decided to bring my partner (23 years old, a masc non-binary). Well, the main issues seem to be what I wore. I have always liked wearing more than just a shirt and jeans for dinners, I also love fall (and Halloween) so I decided to wear something spookier for the season. I even went a little bit more simpler knowing that I was going to a haunted house afterward with most the people there. Now, nothing was revealing, the most revealing part was maybe the ripped jeans I was wearing. I even had a painted jacket on top.
Dinner seemed to go well, my grandmother just seemed quiet. However, that is normal for her, she is usually too busy playing candy crush. We parted ways and I noticed she refused to say anything to my partner and I. THAT is odd for her.
The haunted house was just as good, and everyone seemed to love meeting my partner. My partner was even invited to the next family dinner (a really big thing in my family).
Well, I get home and my mother has a conversation with me, most notably how I need to 'mellow out' (Yes, I still live with my mother, she lives about an hour away from the college I go to and rent is expensive for a college student). I asked what she meant and she points out how much me and my partner wore (Me wearing jeans, a shirt, a jacket, a few rings and a purse while my partner a skirt, some more rings, a beanie, a jacket and shirt). I am confused and ask what that means. She then informs me that my grandmother had messaged her about how nobody liked what me and my partner wore and how it was 'devil like'. Now, my mother clarifies that she likes what I wore but she would like me to dress down more because she doesn't want to argue with my grandmother. I tell her that I won't mellow myself out for a woman who smokes enough to kill a baby and owns fifty moomoos. She than calls me rude for making her choice between her daughter and mother. I inform her I never did. She starts yelling and crying how I am 22, I need to grow up. I then asked what my partner had to do with it. My mother than went silent before storming off to her room.
I woke up the next morning to my phone full of missed calls from my brother, some cousins, my mother and a few from my grandparents. I even had a few missed texts talking about how I need to apologize for this mess. I tell them that I refuse to apologize for what I wore but I would for yelling at mother. Ever since then, things have been tense and I have family calling me/texting me daily to remind me to apologize to my grandmother for what I wore because its rude not to. So, AITA for refusing to?

I am (19F), rooming with another (19F), and we dorm together and we are really good friends. However, it's so bad when I have to go to sleep in the same room as her. Every single night, she would go to sleep which is no problem at all obviously, but she will snore so loud, it makes me stay awake. It was so bad where I had to sleep outside sometimes.

I know she can't control her snoring but it's definitely an issue. Then I discovered that white music helps with blocking snoring sounds. I would put some white music while she was snoring so I could sleep and it works like a charm when I put it on blast. I'm thinking about investing in some sleep headphones, but I really don't like sleeping with headphones because it's uncomfortable at night, and I don't know if it's totally safe either not going to lie...

Today, she was snoring so loud. I threw on the white noise. I kind of feel bad when I put it on, because I feel that it makes her feel bad about her snoring and stuff, and I don't want her to feel inferior. She told me when she woke up that to not put white noise while she was asleep, because when she would get ready in the morning (she wakes up before me), she would be annoyed by it. I asked her if it disturbed her sleep and she said "no". I told her I would lower it though, even though at the lowest I could still hear her snoring. I did address the snoring, because one time I was awake until 6AM, and she saw me and asked "did you get sleep", and I was a bit cranky, and I just told her the snoring was an issue, but I told her it's okay. She told me congestion was an issue but she's been congested for like 3 weeks now which is obviously not normal. If this was for like a week I get it but it's been so long.

Not to mention also, I went to sleep around 4AM (mind you I have to wake up around 8) last night because I had to study for this awful midterm. I went to my room to sleep, and she kept snoring, and I fell asleep around like 5AM. She woke me up around like 7AM because she was talking to her boyfriend on full blast near MY bed. I told her to lower her voice because I was trying to sleep. She literally refused to, and It's really ticking me off because she's been disturbing my sleep.

I want to apologize for this writing, I'm really tired and running on like 4 hours of sleep, but let me know your opinion guys!! Also, to add, I didn't know my roommate would snore like this...

Omg and to add, the day that I confronted her about the snoring being an issue, she called her mom and started talking about to her how I had an issue with her snoring and how I couldn't sleep at night. Mind you I was in the room too and she was expecting me to not hear any of this.

My brother has spent the last 3 Christmases with his wife's family. Even though we miss him on the day, as a family we've been understanding of this because his wife's family don't all live in the same place, so they can't see them all on the same Christmas, unlike our side of the family, who all live relatively close to each other and can therefore see each other every Christmas.

I hosted Christmas at my house last year and offered to do so again this year, since no-one else in the family has the space or cash to host a big group of people all together. The guest list includes my mother and my in-laws - aka my children's grandparents. I invited my brother to join us this year, as it appeared that they wouldn't be away and didn't have any other plans.

Then he messaged me saying his wife's bio mother (who lives far away) will be in town over Christmas and staying with the wife's sister. Would it be OK if the mother, the sister and the sister's boyfriend joined us for Christmas lunch, because the mother doesn't see much of her grandchild (my brother's first child, who is a baby) and doesn't want to miss Christmas day with him.

I'm not comfortable with this idea. My brother's in-laws are not great at talking to people outside of their circle and they don't know my in-laws at all. If I invite them, my brother will have to "babysit" them through the event because they are unlikely to talk to anyone else. Plus, if the reason for them coming is that grandma doesn't want to miss out on the baby, then odds are none of the rest of the family (our own mother included) will get much time with him either.

When I told my brother I wasn't hosting his in-laws, he told me that he would then also not be attending Christmas, as he can't deny his mother-in-law the afternoon with her grandchild. He is now blaming me for our family not seeing each other on Christmas.

I feel like I'm in the twilight zone. First of all, I would never dream of inviting three people to an event that I am not hosting, and second of all, to then turn around and say "well if they're not coming, I'm not coming" seems absolutely crazy to me.

I have told him multiple times that Christmas is really just lunch and opening presents, maybe 4 hours of the day. He can spend the whole morning and the rest of the day after lunch with his in-laws; nobody expects him to be here all day. Also, the mother-in-law will be staying up the road from him, so she will see her grandchild multiple days leading up to Christmas and multiple days thereafter. None of this makes a difference; if all five of them can't come, then none of them will come. Those are his terms.

I want to be inclusive and to make sure everyone has a great Christmas, but is it so terrible to also just want to spend time with my brother on Christmas day, without his in-laws in the picture, for the first time in 4 years? Should I just have rolled over for the sake of the family being together?

last month my parents called and said michael needed a place for a few weeks because his lease fell through. i said no. i had promised myself a long time ago that i would not keep rescuing him every time he made a bad call. it had happened too many times before. i told them he could stay with our aunt for a bit instead and i would help him find a new apartment. they were upset but they understood my side. michael called me the next day and said i was selfish and that family should come first no matter what. i get why he is mad and i know things are tight for him right now, but i also know that every time i have stepped in he ended up right back in the same spot. i stuck to my line this time and it feels strange to hold it.

AITA for not going to a birthday gathering: For context 2 years ago a friend (F 31) who lives upstate had a BBQ at her BF’s parents house who she lives with (they live in the basement unit of house) & invited me(M31), another friend and that friend’s husband. But specifically wanted to exclude my partner who I had been with for 7 years at this point and the reason being because the house was being worked on & would’ve been a mess. Long story short I traveled from Coney Island to upstate NY & come to find out the house isn’t even being worked on, it’s a huge gathering and I didn’t even have a good time partially cuz everyone had their partner with them so I was singled out. I told my friend off later that week that about how the whole thing made me feel & explicitly told her to not expect my wife to ever partake in any gatherings at her place & because of that to not really expect me either. End of Context

This year the same friend wanted to do another birthday gathering at an arcade in her area. With the same group & inviting both myself & my wife but wife had stated said she has no issues with me going but that she’s not going. I considered going but paced around the idea because of the distance, finances & the prior experience. Then it clicked that why would I even go where my wife doesn’t feel welcomed? I’d be willingly going to be a 5th wheel in an arcade playing games by myself after traveling a long distance.

3 days before the hangout I reached out to this friend & told them I won’t be going to these gatherings upstate not only because of the distance but also my wife won’t be attending & I would be uncomfortable going without her considering why she’s not going. But to not let my absence ruin the fun of the day. The friend gets back to me accusing me of being dishonest about not bringing up my issues right away when she brought up the plan that I should’ve been more upfront about it even though she had a feeling this would come up. I reminded her about our conversation regarding the last gathering that her actions would make it difficult for me to go see her. Also that her reasoning for excluding my wife still didn’t make any sense considering the house wasn’t even being worked on. Friend doubles down that it was & that their bathroom was being worked on so for the other guests who attended they had to enter through the parents space to use their bathroom & because they didn’t really know my wife they didn’t feel comfortable bringing her through the parents space. This actually made me livid because they actually met my wife & spoke highly of her and I even brought that up with the fact I spoke about her throughout our entire relationship. Before it became a back & forth where I continued to pick apart what I felt was a lie I again stated to just enjoy the day without us. This was about 2 months ago & I’m pretty sure the friendship is going a turbulent direction since I have not heard from them since.

Hi everyone

I'm sorry for my English but I'm not English native tongue.

I'm a 26M and my girlfriend F24. We were in a long-distance relationship until a month ago (we lived in two different cities, about two hours apart). I'm a doctor, and after graduating, I decided to start my residency in her city rather than mine so that we could close the distance and being close each other. So, I moved here.

We don't live together at the moment because she isn't working, and she has told me that she'd rather wait until she's financially independent before moving in together, even though I've assured her that I would be able to support both of us financially.

Anyway, apart from my girlfriend, I don't know anyone here. I'm basically very lonely. My entire family, along with all my friends and acquaintances, are back in my hometown. On top of that, I find this city quite depressing, and I really miss the places and landscapes I've always been surrounded by. When I don't see her, I feel very sad. I'm trying to make new freinds here but it's not so easy at all.

Do you think it would be reasonable for me to go back to my hometown one weekend a month? Would that be too much?

I'd do it not only to see my family, but also to spend time with all my friends back home and maintain those friendships, which I'm really afraid of losing now that I've moved away.

For various personal reasons, my girlfriend might not always be able to come with me when I visit my hometown, so sometimes I'd have to go on my own.

Do you think spending one weekend a month back home would be too much?

Thanks so much

Me and my friend are both in their 20's. They came to my house to do a group presentation for a class at uni. We were discussing the slides and they kept saying a crucial word to the subject wrongly (not just bad pronunciation, they changed like half of the word to something else) so I was correcting them every time. After a short moment they said I should stop being so angry and I told her that I wasn't, I was just correcting them in my usual tone. They didn't believe me and instead they started mocking me, parodying my voice and saying the word I was correcting this whole time. I responded that now I'm actually pissed off and they just left my home slamming the door at the end. I know it seems like a very minor issue but it's not the first situation like this and I'm tired of being accused of being angry, irritated or straight malicious in my behavior.

My friend and I have a weekly obligation that requires us to drive from our home city to a town about an hour away. We started carpooling, alternating weeks. It saves us gas money and mileage on our cars. I specifically care about mileage because my car has about 200k miles on it and I'm trying to make it last.

Here's exactly how the situation broke down:
It was my friend's turn to drive. He was sick, so couldn't make it. Obviously, I drove. No harm, no foul. I figured I'd just eat the extra week of driving, and he'd pick up his turns again the following week.

Then, the next week, on the day of our drive, he texted saying that he was driving separately so he could do an unrelated thing up in that neck of the woods. This was probably three hours before we would've hit the road.

I said ok, but you've gotta drive two weeks in a row. One week because it's your turn next anyway. The following week because you bailed last-minute and I'm now having to drive for the third week in a row, putting more miles on my car and spending more in gas money than I would normally need to. In my mind, because he bailed last-minute, I'm owed the one extra drive.

He got relatively upset and told me that because he's driving up too, I am not owed an extra drive. Important context is that his car has about 150k less miles than mine.

My argument is that he still has an obligation to drive when it's his turn. I have no issue with the week that he was sick. He couldn't do anything about that. But he made the choice to do this other thing, and that choice sorta burned me. I put 100 more miles on my car that week than I normally would, and spent the equivalent in gas money, which is not cheap where I live. I argue that the whole agreement was meant to cut down on the amount of miles we put on our cars and money we spend, and it seems rude of him to presume that he can unilaterally decide that I will be driving up separately with no penalty whatsoever. Just as I have an obligation to drive him when it's my turn, he has an obligation to drive me when it's his turn, and when he decides that he won't drive me, that's a violation of the agreement. He decidedly did not see it that way. In his mind, we were even.

AITA?

My wife and I have a little disagreement. married for 40 years and we are in a decent place financially. She has been retired now for about 7 years and I will be working for a few more. All of our resources are shared. Checking, savings, travel fund, nestegg, retirement accounts, etc.

I have recently gotten into enjoying guns for the first time. I enjoy the range and target shooting. I want to investigate skeet shooting etc. What I've found is that this hobby, like most, requires special gear. The guns, the cleaning supplies, practice gear, the ammo, the range membership, etc. all of it is legit but I get tired of having to explain why I want this or that when she has no interest in it, so she has no perspective on the things I want.. and if I try to explain it all, I get a glossy stare..

My proposal to her is that when our $500 car lease ends soon and we turn it in and stick with just one car.. we both get $100/month each as a hobby fund. She can do with it whatever she wants and same for me. I would use it for ammo or save up some for a gun I want, etc. I just want an account to dip into without being judged or scrutinized.

Is this selfish?