r/AmItheAsshole • u/Moggehh Bye, Fecesha • Apr 01 '21
TL;DR The Asshole Universe is Expanding: Introducing our New Sister Subreddit
Hello everyone. Many of you are familiar with our sister subreddit r/AmITheButtface, the place for posts about fiction or relationships. We’re excited to announce the newest member of the AmITheAsshole universe, r/AmITheCloaca!
r/AmITheCloaca is a place for all of your non-mammalian (and non-human mammal) moral quandaries. That’s right, your dog can post to ask if he’s the cloaca for eating your homework, your cat can post to see if she’s the cloaca for waking you up at 6 am on a Sunday, and your bird can post to see if he’s the cloaca for dumping birdseed in your cutlery drawer.
Visit now and find out who is the cloaca today!
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u/wizzlekhalifa Apr 01 '21 edited Apr 01 '21
Cloaca fun fact: did you know that female primates are the only animals that have three distinct external openings for urine/feces/reproduction?
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u/Moggehh Apr 01 '21
I learn something new every day!~
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u/Analbox Apr 01 '21
Here’s some more zoological hole facts for you. Chinese soft shelled turtles pee out of their mouth. Californian sea cucumbers shit with their mouth. Owls poop through their mouth. Australian river turtles breathe through their ass. Snails lay eggs with their head and my personal favorite; wombats poop cubes.
Thank you for subscribing to shitty animal facts!
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u/CharlieBravoSierra Apr 01 '21
I would buy a page-a-day calendar called "Zoological Hole Facts"
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u/RayBelle9 Apr 01 '21
Owls don't poop out their mouths. They regurgitate pellets which is materials that aren't safe to pass through the digestive system, like bones and fur. There is no fecal matter in the pellets. This is also something that other birds of prey do as well.
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u/Moggehh Apr 01 '21
Off-topic but anyone else remember the Poppy and Ragweed kids books about mice? Every time I think of owls pooping I think of those books.
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u/SnausageFest Apr 01 '21
This is a popular misconception based on the fact I have never taken my pants off around a scientist.
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u/ohdearitsrichardiii Apr 02 '21
And marsupials have three vaginas
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/article/kangaroos-have-three-vaginas
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u/ProfGoodwitch Apr 01 '21
Nice April fool's post.
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u/techiesgoboom Apr 01 '21
Oh damn, we should really look at the calendar before making announcements. Apparently the first of the month isn't always the best day to make news.
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u/LAKingsofMetal Apr 01 '21
I know it’s been live only for a couple hours, but it’s already becoming the worst sub on Reddit. Not a single YTC in /hot on that sub.
It’s just an echo chamber of “HoOmAns aRe dUmB” and constant validation from users who can’t see the nuance. Clearly no one there is the cloaca.
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u/Moggehh Apr 01 '21
Oh my god, I know, right?! Like I've been trying to give ESH and NCH and YTC judgements and they get downvoted! It's so ridiculous! We need more users in there to be impartial - just because they're fluffy doesn't mean they're right damnit
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u/Foreign_Astronaut Apr 01 '21
Is it OUR fault that humans are dumb and we are always right?? I mean they. They. Because I'm totally a human writing this.
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Apr 01 '21
I think part of the fun is responding from the perspective of another animal. So if it’s a cat post I would respond from the POV of another cat, who would of course agree that the cat is NTC.
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u/InAHandbasket Apr 02 '21
Wanna have some really fun? Try commenting to cat posts from a dog perspective and vice verse. Cat doesn’t do something human wants them to? YTC. Dog does
something dumbanything? YTC. Lol1
u/Moggehh Apr 02 '21
another cat, who would of course agree that the cat is NTC.
Yes and no; I mean, my cats almost never agree on anything. Who gets to chase the mouse toy, who gets to sit on the tower, who gets to eat the grass, they're always bickering. I don't think cats are particularly loyal to their own kind.
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u/mindbullet Apr 01 '21
Oh thank God. My asshole cat has been sarcastically correcting me every time i wonder, but no longer!
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u/Dominoodles Apr 01 '21
See, it's obviously an April fools joke, but the sub is actually a cute idea, so maybe this can be one of those jokes that sticks around?
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u/mary-anns-hammocks Apr 01 '21
My brood has been very introspective lately and wondering if they are, indeed, the cloaca (mainly because I keep telling them they are). I am excited for this new endeavor.
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u/Queen_of_Rats_ Apr 01 '21
Fun fact: turtles can breathe underwater through their cloaca! It’s called cloacal respiration, affectionately known as butt-breathing by many a herpetologist
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u/Moggehh Apr 01 '21
butt-breathing
That sounds like what happens after I order burritos for takeout.
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u/Maelstrom_Witch Apr 02 '21
I hope this isn’t just for April Fool’s, it is fucking hilarious over there.
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u/agarrabrant Apr 01 '21
So in love with your choice of cloaca!
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u/Moggehh Apr 01 '21
u/techiesgoboom is the visionary behind this new asshole-themed direction.
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u/techiesgoboom Apr 01 '21
Thank you, thank you.
I’d also like to give credit to my muse: the hundredth asshole in modmail over a year ago that was so vehemently arguing that cunts and assholes were the same thing that I created this sub just for him.
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u/LAKingsofMetal Apr 01 '21
Um...we’re they speaking anatomically or metaphorically? Because if they meant the former, then I have some serious concerns...
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u/clutzycook Apr 01 '21
LMAO. Good one.
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u/Moggehh Apr 01 '21
Thank you! We're really excited to be adding this to the AITA family. Our mod team appreciates the burst of wholesomeness it has brought to our lives already and can't wait to keep it going!
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u/blinkingsandbeepings Apr 01 '21
Honestly thank you for introducing me to YTC, a concise and efficient way to inform my dog when he's being The Cloaca.
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u/LAKingsofMetal Apr 01 '21
No one there is ever the cloaca. Nothing but validation-seekers populating that place.
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u/Moggehh Apr 02 '21
* ~Be the change you want to see in the world~ *
Get those YTC's out there!
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u/LAKingsofMetal Apr 02 '21
Meh.
What’s the point? I’ll be downvoted into the ground, accused of not reading the post, or some other silly horseshit.
It’s just easier to complain here.
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u/Moggehh Apr 01 '21
An asshole's ability to expand is one of its most valuable features and one that we by no means take for granted. It takes work to expand your horizons.
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u/PistachioPug Apr 02 '21
Pistachio would like to point out that when you post in r/AmITheCloaca, a box pops up and says "You're human right?" He thinks that's probably racist or something.
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u/Moggehh Apr 02 '21
Thank you for this important PSA. We will do our best to campaign to reddit to allow species of all types to carry on.
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u/FrnchsLwyr Apr 02 '21
I want to argue that some folks have too much time on their hands, but this is Reddit so shrug.gif
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u/ItsTime1234 Apr 02 '21
These people who delete their threads because they don't like the answer!! Grr
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Apr 02 '21
Basicly we are idiots and as little children they gave us another toy so as not to spoil the subreddit
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u/[deleted] Apr 01 '21
I am against this. If it turns out my dog is not, in fact, the Cloaca, she will be completely insufferable and lord it over me. I am not okay with this.