r/Adulting • u/olive20597 • 22h ago
I despise waking up for work
When my alarm goes off for work in the morning, I genuinely fight the urge to cry. I find it physically and mentally difficult to pull myself out of bed in the morning. I’m a hybrid worker and it does feel easier on the days I don’t have to go in office so perhaps deep down it’s that I despise going into the office more. I do hate going into the office.
Anyhow I can’t fathom that I have to get up and get ready for work for at least another 20 years.
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u/FlyGuyF100 20h ago
I'm occasionally asked, what's the best part about retirement. My answer is always, no alarm clocks.
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u/Ninjaspider21 21h ago
Try going to bed earlier than usual. It’ll do you a lot of favours
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u/olive20597 9h ago
Every monring when my alarm goes off, I vow that later that night, I will go to sleep earlier to avoid this feeling. And then I don't lol
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u/VinceInMT 21h ago
Here’s what I have learned in my 70+ years. We all have a chronotype and it is genetically determined. (Look it up.) It is what sets us up as a night owl, an early bird, or somewhere In between. Existing outside your chronotype is not only difficult, it is unhealthy. The solution is to match your lifestyle to your chronotype. That may mean getting a job that lets you work later in the day. As someone who was forced outside my chronotype when I was drafted into the military and then followed that with 5 years of shift work, I can tell you that it did have a negative impact on my health, some things I feel I still deal with today. So, do yourself a favor and make the changes you need to. Get your lifestyle aligned with your natural rhythms.
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u/JetNeoArmstrongCanon 21h ago
My chronotype is a 26 hour day 😭
The only place I've ever felt compatible was on a rotating shift at sea.
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u/VinceInMT 21h ago
There you go. We are all different. When I was in the military I spent 14 months working 24 on/24 off. Sleep deprivation was a way of life. I was young and didn’t think about the long-term impact. I just did it.
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u/FingerAmazing5176 21h ago
Have you considered a career in piracy?
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u/JetNeoArmstrongCanon 20h ago
I actually crewed on an 18th century tall ship for several years lmao
I originally met them while sailing through an island chain with my dad and they liked me so much they dressed up in pirate costumes (complete with cutlasses and sabres) and kidnapped me in a sack to press me into their crew.
(My dad's girlfriend was part of the crew and they basically traded me)
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u/BoopingBurrito 21h ago
I'm similar to you. My ideal day has always been something like 20 hours awake, 12 hours asleep.
Sadly no job I'm qualified for our interested in fits that sort of ever rotating schedule
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u/sassypiratequeen 20h ago
While this absolutely makes sense, we don't live in a world that lets people with a different chronotype exist. How am I supposed to function on my night owl chronotype (sleeping g 4am to noon), when a job would be, on most likely 1p-10p, and then everything is closed? No doctors appointments, no shopping, everything just gets shuffled to the weekend, where everything closes earlier
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u/VinceInMT 20h ago
In that situation, the ideal job would have one work over the weekend so their off days are in the week. I suppose there are jobs like that out there. In my past, I needed a job, full time, that let me work around school hours. I found one doing straight mechanical design work for an engineering firm. They gave me a key to the office and worked whenever I wanted.
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u/sassypiratequeen 20h ago
But working over the weekend does mean sacrificing a social life. Covid changed how things work a lot more than people think. Storea aren't open late anymore, and I've never hears if a film time job with not banj hours that wasn't a call center
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u/RealTendy 14h ago
Why are you just making stuff up to complain ? It's easier to see a doctor on anything other than a 9-5 because that is the hours they work.
If you work a night shift you go in the early afternoon before your work, or you take time off like everyone else. Everyone who currently works morning to afternoon hours has the problem you just made up.
Dumb. You just are not an idea person and want to complain, all your other complaints are easily dismantled as well but that one is idiotic
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u/Aromatic-Elephant110 20h ago
Cool words, but where I live, the kids have to be at school at 8, and that doesn't change to suit my natural rhythm.
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u/VinceInMT 20h ago
Kids complicate life’s in all sorts of ways. But, you are right, the larger systems are based on set time schedules that probably go back to agrarian times and are tied to sunlight.
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u/HumanDissentipede 21h ago
I don’t buy it, at least not as some immutable characteristic that is fixed by your genes. You can absolutely transition your schedule from being an early riser to a night owl and back again. The transitions can be difficult and you have to actually adjust your whole schedule, but it’s not unhealthy to shift your waking hours. I have done it dozens of times over my life and so has every single normal, well-adjusted adult I know.
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u/VinceInMT 20h ago
I thought it was changeable but due to some health issues, I looked into it and chronotypes are a thing and there is science behind it. You are right, transitions can be difficult. When I was in the military, for a while I was working rotating shifts: 3 days each on days, swings, midnights followed by 3 days off. There was not time to adjust. Then I found myself in Europe doing 24 on/ 24 off for 14 months straight, no break from that. During the 24 on I might get 2-3 hours sleep. There was no way to “adjust” and the constant feeling of sleep deprivation was just the lifestyle.
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u/HumanDissentipede 17h ago
That’s a different thing entirely though. Sleep deprivation is a real thing for sure and if your schedule does not permit sufficient time for sleep, then it doesn’t matter what hours you’re awake. You can adjust your schedule and maintain it without any adverse consequence, but it takes time to make the adjustment and switching schedules repeatedly will cause its own problems. This has nothing to do with people being biologically predisposed to being early birds or night owls, which is not really a thing that requires any accommodation. Any person can adjust to a new schedule.
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u/VinceInMT 17h ago
Well, I have read enough from the scientific literature about chronotypes to convince me that it is an actual thing. The reason I dove into this was because I got involved with the US Veterans Administration for a different disability. What I learned is that the military no longer makes service people work the kind of hours I did. Anyway, if you don’t believe it, that’s just fine with me.
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u/needs_more_zoidberg 18h ago
There is a ton of evidence on this, as well as books aimed at laypeople. The tl:dr is that when they put volunteers in a dark environment with no alarm clock, the majority of people follow one rhythm, but many don't. Fighting your chronotype can be done, but you cannot change what time your brainstem wants you to sleep. Our genes also control how much sleep we naturally need.
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u/SeimaDensetsu 11h ago
The director of sleep medicine at the university hospital I go to says otherwise. I have Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder. Basically my body takes light cues 4-6 hours later than most people.
He said to fix it I need to rotate my schedule, stay up two hours later every day until I have my sleep where I want it, but you have to maintain it. Mess up and you quickly fall back to square one.
I told him there are times I’m on call 24/7 and that I could be woken up at any time and he told me not to bother trying to shift and that he’d write me a note that I couldn’t be made to report before noon. Years later I wish so deeply I had taken the note.
Also interesting my mother worked nights her entire life, and her father worked nights the last 20 years before he retired.
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u/HumanDissentipede 10h ago
There are different ways to stimulate light cues, and they can be done any time of day. None of what you said here means that you are genetically predisposed to being a morning person or a night person, even with your disorder.
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u/SeimaDensetsu 10h ago
I think I’ll trust my doctor who has specialized in the field long enough to lead the department over random Reddit guy.
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u/Critical_Purple_8600 21h ago
Find a new job? It’s work, and they pay you to do it, so don’t expect joy - but it shouldn’t make you cry either. All jobs aren’t miserable some merely suck.
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u/olive20597 9h ago
Believe it or not, I enjoy my job. I just wish I could start at 11am lol
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u/Left_Treacle7134 6h ago
Maybe go to bed earlier or get a better night sleep y practicing sleep hygiene.
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u/stumbling_coherently 19h ago
Waking up is, and always will be my least favorite activity of the day. Its only been in the past year (in my mid 30s) that I am not running through 7-10 consecutive alarms set 5 mins apart to actually wake up.
I also work from home and have worked from home since well before the pandemic. don't think I'll ever like waking up and it doesn't make a single bit of difference whether I get 4 hours, 8 hours or 12 hours of sleep.
I've just accepted that it's a miserable experience for me and I'll always channel big time 6-year old "I don't WANNA go to school!" energy every morning.
I will always wish I could just put my head back down on my pillow. Waking up and walking, my least favorite activities in life.
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u/ConfidenceNaive4990 22h ago
This dread never goes away OP. May be you can make a little morning ritual, pre work that might help you feel a bit more relaxed to wake up in the morning. 🤔
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u/red_bloody_tears 21h ago
I agree with this. Try to find something to do in the morning before work that you could look forward to, OP. I’m in the same boat, and it is difficult.
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u/iamstokes 20h ago
I also agree.. up until just a few months ago (literally my entire life before this) I was doing the same thing - wake up, snooze as many time as possible until I had to leave for work in 10-20 minutes, reluctantly get it if bed just to rush to get ready in a panic and end up being 5 minutes late to work every single day…
Then, a couple months ago, I started drinking coffee in the morning. Not for energy, but for other reasons. I wouldn’t say I’m a coffee crazed person like so many haha and I really don’t drink it for energy, but it is soooo cozy in the mornings. I look forward to it every single day. I also downloaded an alarm clock app that gets me out of bed to do a task in order to turn the alarm off and these 2 things have truly changed my mornings entirely. I’m on time for work every day now too.
I’ve always liked the idea of early and slow mornings but always struggled and never set myself up to enjoy them. Now, I have an actual routine that is slow and cozy and something to look forward to before going to work that I also hate, and it’s my absolutely favourite part of the day. I actually even find myself wanting to keep my 6am alarms on the weekends lol! On the weekends, I will do the same thing but read on the couch with my coffee until it’s bright out. I love it
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u/Fresh-Feeling-3878 21h ago
Yea this honestly helped me a lot. Maybe having a few beers before bed, cozying up with my cat to some youtube icebergs, grabbing ice water, and snacks. Sometimes a shower right before bed.
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u/koz44 20h ago
Wake up for yourself then. I swim 5 days a week first thing. That’s for me. I also get to bed by 8:30 every night because otherwise I have trouble getting up for the thing I look forward to most in my day.
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u/CityBoiNC 20h ago
This is a great mindset. Even when i was a kid we use to meet up before school to skate. We get to the spot around 6:30 now to this day i do the same but with different activities. Now its working out and walking the dog.
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u/EreccSean 22h ago
Be thankful you don't work outside, i work till the week before Christmas and it is currently 2°C I am sitting in my car about to start work on a roof haha, I dread waking up everyday.
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u/2Braincell2Furious 21h ago
I miss being on a roof sometimes, but I quickly remember how much it sucks
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u/TheUnluckyBlackberry 22h ago
That feeling of the alarm hitting like a personal insult never really fades, but on office days it's a whole different beast, I started laying out everything the night before and it shaves off just enough dread to get vertical.
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u/Fun_Ideal_5584 19h ago
I worked all my adult life, working several different jobs. The only time I felt like that was brief but felt like a lifetime (3 months). One of the most depressing times of my life. Every day I was looking for something better. I jump at an opportunity, the first chance I got.
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u/animejunkiex3 8h ago
In a similar boat as you OP. I’m currently experiencing I guess it would be considered burnout and I dread going to work in the morning once my alarm goes off lol
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u/OliviaCrystalize 21h ago
I totally get that! Working from home is the dream, commuting just drains my soul. I can’t imagine dreading the office for two more decades!
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u/lucyzulema 11h ago
Me too, it fills me with dread! The way to combat it was to get a job with a later start. I never set an alarm now and it's made such a difference to my life.
I done various shifts starting at 11.30am, 12pm and 2.30pm. It does mean working later but it's worth it!
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u/grl-nxt-door555 4h ago
I couldn’t agree more, I really like my job and the work I do. I even wfh, but god damn I fucking hate waking up and clocking in lmao. Day after day… like this can’t… be… it? 😭😭 But another day another dollar I guess
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u/zenith-linkft 20h ago
You may be suffering from a lil bit of depression. It's not normal to be on the brink of tears to face your day. Ask to work from home for a couple weeks as it's a reasonable adjustment your employer could make. Few weeks not having to commute can give you enough time for a mental reset.
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u/frogmicky 21h ago
I procrastinate every morning when I wake up so I don't have to go to work but it never helps 😭
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u/meklever0420 19h ago
I am haunted by my alarm melody all day! Blah ! Blah! Bla bla bla blabablabablabababla...bla! Bla!
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u/LazyEnchilada 17h ago
I recommend a sunrise alarm. It wakes you up more gently. I used to have issues waking up in the morning for work until I got one. Amazon has them for reasonable prices
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u/Sunflower1751 16h ago
The part you said about hybrid days being easier is worth paying attention to, I think. That's a pretty clear signal that it might not be the work itself but the commute, the getting-ready routine, the fluorescent-light office thing. Those are different problems than hating your actual job, and they might have different fixes.
One thing I notice is that twenty years of anything sounds unbearable when you frame it as one block. Most people's work lives shift a lot over that span, different roles, different arrangements, sometimes totally different fields. You might not be doing this exact version of it for long.
Is there any chance you could negotiate for fewer in-office days, or is the hybrid schedule pretty locked in?
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u/sassypiratequeen 20h ago
I do too. I've just accepted that I'm not meant to wake up this early and that it's going to kill me, one way or another
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u/StretcherEctum 21h ago
I realized this in high school and made it my goal to become a successful engineer. I dont mind going to work at all.
Stay in school kids and never give up on your dreams.
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u/Head-Drag-1440 21h ago
Look for another job that you could look forward to.
It's unfortunate to have this mindset. I've been unemployed with bills to pay. Every morning I'm grateful for my job and the ability to pay for my expenses. Maybe you need to not have a job for a while to feel more grateful for having one.
I have a coworker who always tries to stay positive. She says that there are things she doesn't want to do, but what good is it to be negative? Either you can complain and be upset or you can just get it done.
Maybe wake up a little earlier and establish a morning routine that makes you feel better before working.
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u/Dr_Cleanser 20h ago
This is so dismissive and condescending. They’re just venting and taking a few minutes to write an anonymous post on Reddit doesn’t mean OP is ungrateful or negative.
OP is clearly a bit burnout out. It’s valid feeling to have even if you don’t personally agree with it or find it productive. Either way OP is clearly a bit down and doesn’t need some asshole telling them to be unemployed to learn gratitude.
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u/EvilHwoarang 18h ago
So you think I'm a loser? Just because I have a stinking job that I hate, a family that doesn't respect me, a whole city that curses the day I was born? Well, that may mean loser to you, but let me tell you something...
Every morning when I wake up, I know it's not going to get any better until I go back to sleep again. So I get up, have my watered-down Tang and still-frozen Pop Tart, get in my car with no upholstery, no gas, and six more payments to fight traffic just for the privilege of putting cheap shoes on the cloven hooves of people like you. I'll never play football like I thought I would. I'll never know the touch of a beautiful woman. And I'll never again know the joy of driving without a bag on my head.
But I'm not a loser. 'Cause, despite it all, me and every other guy who'll never be what he wanted to be are still out there being what we don't want to be forty hours a week for life.
And the fact that I haven't put a gun in my mouth, you pudding of a woman, makes me a winner.
-Al Bundy
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u/Left_Treacle7134 6h ago
Sleeping with some fresh air, clean sheets and a shower at night help me. No screen time an hour before before I go to bed. As much of as an optimist as I am, I wake up with dread every morning too. It takes me about 1/2 hour to enjoy life. Drink a glass of water before your morning cup. When we sleep at night, our body undergoes a flush detox and we perspire at least a pint of water. Hydrating 1st thing really helps sustained energy throughout the day. Morning stretches or movement help a lot too. The indigenous would go to sleep at sunset and get up at sunrise which really supports the natural circadian rhythm.
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u/actualchristmastree 5h ago
I agree morning’s are hard! I just started a new job, and that helps. I feel excited to get out of bed and see my new coworkers
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u/FairConcentrate3299 5h ago
In the same boat. I hate getting up, but it’s the hardest part of my day! Once I’m up, I’m ready. My job forces me to be a morning person and that’s not natural for me
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u/Stray_God_Yato 22h ago
I wake up 4 in the morning for work. It's literally freezing cold when I get out of bed.
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u/Electrical_Lemon_179 22h ago
I see what u did there. My own words have been used against me one time before and it hurts a lot, man 🤕 I was just speaking about my suffering bruh, u didn't have to do that
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u/Stray_God_Yato 21h ago
Sorry im just always in a bad mood because I wake up at 4 am and don't get back home until 730pm
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u/AssistantNervous589 21h ago
I agree. I don't necessarily feel that it's even about liking your job or not. I'm fine once I'm at work, but I feel the same way waking up. I think it's bc I know this is like a prison sentence for almost the entirety of my life.