Not gonna let a bad mood ruin my streak and let me relapse. If you have a meme to cheer me up, I’d appreciate it though 😭

For context, this is for me, my wife and my kid. $260/month for medical/dental/vision. Other companies I worked for was 5-6 times this and had absurdly high deductibles.

I know other countries will chime in about their free healthcare, but we don’t have that luxury here in the U.S. 😭

Can’t speak for anyone else but myself here, but my dating life has been an absolute ghost town since entering my thirties, just turned 33. I had a much easier time meeting women and getting laid in my twenties than I ever had in my thirties so far.

I was told for men they finally hit their stride in terms of finances, libido and maturity and more women would see you as valuable…it’s been the opposite for me. In my late twenties I was a disaster and still was able to regularly find women to go out with. Now in my thirties, I couldn’t find a date if she approached me and slapped me upside the head, despite the fact I’m more emotionally mature, in the best shape of my life and more outgoing than ever before. 😂

For those out there who are successfully dating or found a healthy relationship, how/where?

I hit the gym 2-4 days a week, I volunteer, I’ve joined hobby groups and singles mixers…nothing works. I’ve even tried the occasional bar night out with friends, both men and women and it just seems everyone keeps to themselves. Dating apps are an absolute dumpster fire and I’m just got tired of being ghosted and never messaged back.

SOMETHING broke in society after 2020 and nobody wants to talk about it.

And I'm not talking about masks, lockdowns, or COVID. I mean the FEELING of life.

Everything reopened. We went back to work. Restaurants filled up. Events came back. But somehow life still feels... different.

Years disappear faster. People feel more disconnected. Everything feels more expensive, stressful & rushed.

And somehow we're all constantly exhausted. I can't even explain exactly what we lost. I just know life before 2020 felt more ALIVE. But why!

When my alarm goes off for work in the morning, I genuinely fight the urge to cry. I find it physically and mentally difficult to pull myself out of bed in the morning. I’m a hybrid worker and it does feel easier on the days I don’t have to go in office so perhaps deep down it’s that I despise going into the office more. I do hate going into the office.

Anyhow I can’t fathom that I have to get up and get ready for work for at least another 20 years.

Two years ago, I started my current job thinking I’d be gone within six months. It was supposed to be something to pay the bills and give me a consistent paycheck while I recovered from being laid off at a job I poured 6 years into and a divorce from a 5 year marriage.

I work in sales, and I’m good at it. Like, genuinely. This job can almost feel like a cheat code if you know how to work it. But it’s also dependent on leads, the housing market, people answering their phones, and whatever changes management decides to make that month. I don’t want to be 35, still sitting on the phones and hoping everything lines up so I can make a good paycheck. I know I’m capable of doing more, but I’ve spent two years getting better at a job I never intended to stay in and I think watching the people around me has finally made me confront that.

One of my coworkers started around six months after I did. I remember when he was basically a broke kid living with his mom, driving a junk car, and just kind of figuring things out. Over the past couple of years, he became a top performer, got promoted, and got engaged to someone he seems genuinely happy and starting a family with. I see the videos of him and his fiancée, the engagement planning, the excitement, all of it. It’s beautiful. I’m happy for him. But it also makes me think about what I want.

I also want to be successful, have a career I’m proud of, come home to someone I love, build a family and feel like I’m actually creating something meaningful.

Another one of my closest friends at work is leaving for a better opportunity. He’s decided to commit to studying IT while working another job to pay his bills. He’s making a deliberate decision to build a different future, even if it means starting over in some ways. Everyone around me are making moves and starting families and buying homes and securing their future. Meanwhile, I feel like I’ve been caught in this cycle of working, paying bills, getting stressed about money, trying to make the next month better, and repeating the process.

Finally bought a car after going a year without one, which is a huge win for me. But I’m still living in an apartment I hate. My love life is messy. I’ve basically been surviving on takeout for years, barely taking care of myself properly, and I’ve even ended up in the hospital from severe dehydration and dangerously low blood sugar. I’m not saying my life is terrible. I have a job, a car, and things I’m grateful for. But I feel like I’ve been so busy surviving that I’ve neglected actually building a life I want to live.

I’ve been considering going back to school for mathematics. I’m interested in things like actuarial science, engineering, and data science. I’ve even thought about law school eventually. I want to explore something intellectually challenging, develop a skill set that gives me more stability, and have a career where my future isn’t so dependent on factors I can’t control. I don’t know exactly what I want to do yet, but I know I don’t want to stay where I am indefinitely.
I also want to get my finances together, move somewhere I actually enjoy living, develop healthy routines, build a community outside of work, and stop letting my entire life revolve around making money and navigating inconsistent relationships.

I’m almost 30, and I feel like I’m finally waking up to the fact that nobody is going to come along and organize my life for me. I don’t want to spend another two years talking about what I’m going to do without actually doing it.

So I want to hear from people who have experienced this. How old were you, what was the aha moment and what’d you do about it? Is life good now?

I’m (M23) and I just started my first full time job a couple months ago. In past internships, I feel like I’ve received unwanted relationships in the workplace, from both men and women (doesn’t matter but I’m straight). For example, in my most recent internship, a woman coworker I had met at a networking event for interns came across my Hinge profile and directly asked me on a date. I thought she was attractive, sure, but because of the stigma surrounding office relationships, I’m just uncomfortable with dating coworkers.

In that case, I just pretended like I never saw her like on Hinge. However, in my current role, I feel like I’ve been hit on by another coworker. She’s given me very light invitations to hang outside of work that seemed very low stakes to ignore. But she’s also started to text me to strike conversation. Every time I come into the office I see her, so I feel like I can’t ignore her texts. Again, it’s conflicting because I am attracted to her, but I feel uncomfortable. I feel like I’m wrestling with ethics and temptation.

In general, how do I manage these situations throughout my career? I feel like jumping the gun and explicitly rejecting them may cause hostility or awkwardness, but choosing to tolerate it creates its own issues.

Im in a dead end minimum wage job at 23. I fell for the scam that is college and majored in something i thought would be worthwhile but was really stupid in hindsight. Ive somehow locked myself out of every job a high school dropout can do from what i can tell given ive easily sennt out 1500 apps in the past 2 years and im still stuck here. People talk about what they want in life like settling down, having hobbies, growing old but i dont imagine ill make it to 40 with where i am and the state of the world. I just keep lying to myself that everything will be ok but i know deep down it wont. As soon as my family has had enough of me and makes me move out some day ill be as good as dead given i live in a rural area with no resources for the homeless (this is honestly probablly a good thing ultimately though so my suffering wont be dragged out).

I literally have zero plans for life or goals even out just 10 years from now, i really have no idea how ill live that long. Absolute best case scenario is i work minimum wage till i die at 80 all alone while being homeless and never being able to retire since retirement in general is becoming a thing of the past.

I frequently hear how childless people will not have anyone to take care of them in old age, and I laugh to myself that although my adult children are wonderful and doing well, I would be surprised if they meaningfully helped me get through old age. I am not expecting it and I have always endeavored to have enough money to pay people to care for me if it comes to that. Just curious about parents who are now old and infirmed— are your children taking care of you (other than ‘let me take over your finances because you are getting too old to take care of your money without me’)? Am I getting too cynical in my old age? What was your experience?

Everything is so much realer in perspective now. It’s like I don’t want be materialistic anymore. I want to buy a guitar be off the grid and be content as less materialistic I can be. I wish there was like a list of positive benefits for long term mushroom use idk it’s hard to explain xD.

such is the life of being an adult :’) lol . i already submitted this to miami wage theft

Does anyone else feel like the enshittification of everything is making them not want to do anything anymore? I can afford to go out and do things, but why the fuck would I pay $300 for a concert ticket and $40 for two beers just to be treated like cattle by security and deal with a crowd full of people who have zero consideration for anyone else? Everything costs twice as much while the quality of the experience gets worse. Concerts, restaurants, travel, pretty much everything. I’m over feeling like I’m being squeezed for every last dollar just to have a mediocre experience. I’m tired of it all.

There was a time when a single person working a regular 9–5 could support a family of four, buy a house, and potentially two cars.

Now you’ve got couples working full-time jobs, pulling overtime, sometimes six days a week, busting their asses, and STILL struggling to afford a mortgage.
Like, what the actual fuck happened to the housing market? 😂

At what point do we stop treating not moving out or not owning a home as some sort of personal failure?
I’m genuinely curious whether the social stigma has changed. Do people still look down on adults who live with their parents, or have we collectively accepted that the economic circumstances are completely different now?

I know myself and other mates pushing 30, still living with parents but not sure if we’ll be judged in the dating scene for this.

My husband and I (late 20's) have just moved in with our first roommate, my long time friend (also late 20's).

We just moved in with each other a few weeks ago. She is in a situationship with a much older man, and a few days ago she said she is going out of state with him on a short trip. We don't know this guy well, but she is able to take care of herself so we told her to have fun and be safe. I prompted to know what hotel they'd be at, in case of emergency. That was all the info I asked for, the name of the hotel, and when she would be returning.

They left, and none of us reached out to each other for a couple days. My husband and I both separately texted my friend today to confirm that she would be returning home tonight like she had said. She doesnt respond to texts quickly, so after a few hours we heard back that the flight got rescheduled to a couple of days from now.

I am not sure if she would have let us know that she wouldn't be returning home, and I feel like it is just a thing people should do out of courtesy, but I don't know if it is right or common to expect this of a roommate/friend. I want to know because I care about not only for her safety and well being, but we are now dependant on her share of the rent which is due this week.

I know we are not OWED this information, but to us it makes sense from a safety point, and gives us an idea of when we should worry if she doesnt return when stated.

To all the adults who have or had roommates, is this something you have expected from a roommate? Is this overstepping? Would it bother you if someone asked for any basic details about your trip?

Thanks in advance, and apologies if this is not the correct subreddit for this!

EDIT for clarification --- I felt comfortable asking her for this info because we have been friends for 14 years, we have only been living together for a few weeks. I do not only care about the rent, that is just a factor added to my worry about her now. She doesn't have a safety net really, she is not close with her family and just left her partner. I do not know exactly who she would contact in an actual emergency, but I would guess I'd be up there on the list.

It does seem like we have different standards for this kind of communication. I grew up with a family that always shared this kind of info, meanwhile my friend/roommate has been estranged from hers for most of her adult life. Prior to her departure, I asked if she felt like I was overstepping after I asked what hotel they were staying at, and she said no, she didn't really care. I think she just doesn't really think about letting others know where she is because she never really had to, and she is notoriously hard to get in contact with via phone.

I made this post to see how others would feel about a roommate asking about their whereabouts, because I don't want to be controlling or overbearing.

Good evening.

I made a comment a few weeks ago and one reply really stuck out to me: They said I was a narcissist.

I went and did a google search and it seems they are correct. I think I might be a vulnerable narcissist. But I wanted to see what others thought and even if this is the correct subreddit. I don't trust anyone but myself. Eventually everyone will hurt you so I don't let anyone in to protect myself.

I am the oldest of my siblings. I have always thought I was better than everyone else. That I was going to be great and succeed my peers.

Then it hit me. I am in my mid 30s. I have failed so many times. I am behind my peers. I literally have nothing. It's just me and my dog.

But I want money. I want power. I want to succeed. I hate being wrong. I hate being the butt of a joke. I can't stand being criticized. It makes me so angry. So angry that I am just average. I hate it so much that I can feel it burning inside my soul that I am just average and not good at anything.

Anyway, thanks for any feedback. I honestly have no idea where to go from here. I can't afford to see anyone for mental health but I would love to see what others think and how I can try and improve my thinking and accept that I am just like everyone else.

I need to call an old friend. We were never close, but I’m told he is struggling with keeping it together. He’s had a lifetime of struggling with meds and his mental well being. I just don’t know what to say. Like, I know nothing I say can actually help, but I don’t want to not call at all.