Context: His past easily explains why he’s so frightened. He was adopted after his owner died from health complications. This owner was a hoarder and didn’t take care for the dog’s special needs. There were also some signs he was physically abused from what my roommate told me. He has minor heart complications and some complications with his legs (luckily there is no pain, it just makes him walk funny). He has fear reactions to all men, only feeling comfortable around women. When held by a girl, no problem. If a man dares to exist near him, he barks and makes distance. He loves his owner to death and is very happy when the stars align.
I moved in with my roommate knowing all this due to our very long friendship. I knew it was going to be slow process. Knowing his background, I don’t aim to be his friend. Deep down I do want to be able to pet him but I want to keep my expectations realistic. The relationship between her dog and I have had breakthroughs and setbacks.
Breakthroughs:
-He is able to walk past me. He can come inside when I open the door for him. We pass by one another when I move walk around him. He will randomly back up or let me do the work of passing him.
-I help my roommate take care of him. I give him food half the time. I’m able to preform the one trick he knows, which is touching nose to hand to receive a treat. I use it to give him his meds.
-previously, I was able to have normal play sessions. He has toys he loves to play with. He would let me retrieve the toys and even pounce on my hand playfully.
-The one time my roommate was gone for a week, I spent my nights sleeping on the couch in the living room. My roommate would sleep there for naps and cuddle with her dog. On the first and second night, he came to sleep on my legs.
-a weird positive. Recently, despite his increased barking at me, he seeks me out. I moved my computer set up to a different room. He will come inside there for a little bit and leave.
Setbacks:
-There were times I had to pick him up. He needed to be brought to my roommate or I had to help with his treatments due to how fidgety he is. The worst case was having to hold him as my veterinarian roommate(same one) had to deal with his nail he pulled out.
-We practiced trying to get him take walks with me. He was terrified and wanted to go back inside every time after using the bathroom. During my roommates week long trip, I had to hook him up with his harness and take him outside to use the bathroom. He would refuse, holding it in all day. I didn’t want to leave the harness on him because it would chafe him. He barks and gets scared if I even show the harness now. I did not chase after him but one time I did have to herd him to get it on.
-The first night he slept on my leg. I gave him my finger to sniff. He was indifferent. I tested stroking his head with it. He was indifferent and showed no fear. Second night, I offered my finger again. He tilted his head back calmly. I didn’t pet him. The third night and from then on, he didn’t sleep with me.
-When he is left home, he does not move from the couch. He will not roam or bark at me. It’s classic separation anxiety. I’m able to give him his meds, but he will only sometimes do the touch command. He will eat it if I leave it for him instead of eating from my hand.
-He has always barked at me when my roommate is home. He will now approach me to bark. If I pass by, 7/10, he will rush off the couch to bark at me. A possible cause is when I feed the cat wet food, I will give a tiny bite to him. He will bark none stop when he hears the can open. I will not prepare and pause when he does this. I wait until he finishes his fit. Only when he is quiet and calm do I prepare the cat food and give him a bite. I make sure there is enough time to distinguish rewarding barking and rewarding patience.
-His barking fits are getting more often and longer. Instead of backing up and barking, he will follow me and bark. At first when he did this, I tried to see if he wanted to play. He never does. It’s good he’s brave enough but now he just tries to bully me.
-He has gotten bored with toys. He has many, but the ones we used to have fun with don’t entertain him anymore. He just doesn’t want to play recently.
-This probably is a setback. Just know this isn’t the only method. I’ll list all them below. My roommate uses the command “Impolite” as his bridge word for bad behavior. He will sometimes listen them so it’s possible it works. When I use it, I make a stern, non yelling voice when he goes into these barking fits. I stand my ground, look at him, and don’t let him dictate that he’s the cause of me leaving a room. He will have his fit until he either understands or gets tired. It takes minutes for him to stop. I’m pretty sure this method is damaging rather than establishing dominance. I’ll explain why this has happened when going over training methods we’ve tried.
Methods used to train him:
-I always Incorporate positive reinforcement when I can with the classic baby voice we all give our dogs. When he passes by me or lets me pass by him without barking, he gets a treat and a “good boy”. If he is patient with his cat food bite, he gets praise. When he comes inside, praise.
-When I first moved in, I adverted my eyes and ignored him when he barked at me. I stayed in the room, but I would not look him in the eyes. We tried this for 4-5 months and he never changed.
-the last two months has been using the stern bridge-word. It was not used often, as he seemed to get it early on. But now it’s getting longer and longer.
-As said before, he gets scared of me walking him. He wants to come in immediatly. I have only walked him in the yard. We gave up after a month of trying.
Conclusion: I know I have made errors. I just want us to live together peacefully. As much as I would love to be his friend, the best thing for him is to be a passive entity that he doesn’t have to be aggressive or scared of. I just want him to stop barking at me. I know we should be going to a specialist but I wanted to see if there were any immediate changes I could do. This poor guy is such a sweet boy and it hurts that my presence makes him so anxious and aggressive.