last night's dinner of papa john's jack-o-latern pizza, which I will be having for lunch today too. I know I could have saved the $12 and used it towards bills, but my daughter asked for pizza and I didn't have the energy to cook. Seeing her light up at a fun gimmicky pizza was awesome because I already tell her "no" to so many things.

I'm just so tired. I am at the point where I think about shoplifting more often than not to be able to provide basic necessities for my daughter, or giving up custody to the state because life is not getting any easier. Obviously not going to, because my child's biological father is already in prison and the last thing I need is a criminal record. I don't receive any type of child support, I make "too much" for SNAP, TANF, low-income housing according to social services. I make $21 an hour but it's part-time and capped at 29 hours a week for a job that "doesn't have the budget to make me full-time". My hours are getting cut because I can't work more than a certain amount in a calendar year and I'm close to hitting that limit. Plasma donation was going well at least making sure I could cover all of my bills, but then I lost weight and at 102 pounds, they will not let you donate plasma for safety reasons, gotta be at least 110 pounds to donate safely.

I just went through a 4 round/1 writing assignment interview schedule for a 4 year university and got rejected because they "went with another candidate" lmao. It felt like a kick to the gut. I'm still putting it applications any and everywhere I can. But I either get no calls back for interviews or just outright rejections by their AIs that review resumes. I've paid out of pocket for resume reviews. I have a bachelor's degree. I'd cry to make 40-45k a year at a full-time job and have PTO and not be at the whims of my supervisor and their moods. No one is hiring. I'd even go work retail or fast food if it meant a full-time job with benefits

I budget down to the penny, I shop at aldi and lidl. I use my local buy nothing group. I go to TWO different food banks every month, but they keep giving out less and less. Most days, I'm surviving on peanut butter sandwiches and canned vegetables. Not because that's what I want to eat but that's because that is what the food banks are giving out. I haven't bought ground beef in months, chicken and turkey are rare treats each week. And now our rent is going up. Again. It's getting to the point where one entire paycheck won't even cover the roof over our heads. An entire paycheck, gone, and I'll still owe more before I can even begin thinking about electricity, groceries, gas, or anything else we need to get through the month. I don't know how I'm supposed to keep making the numbers work when they simply don't add up anymore. I can't budget my way out of not having enough money to begin with. How can I take care of my daughter when shit just isn't adding up? I can't not buy groceries, I can't NOT pay my electric bill or put gas in my car. Some days I just want to say fuck it and rage quit and blow up my life and some days the thought of it never getting better makes me want to unalive myself. Having to tell my kid no over and over that we can't do fun things like go to the movies, or trampoline park or having to decline her classmates birthday parties because I can't afford a gift for them or even the gas to drive her there and pick her back up

I want to be able to fill up my gas tank without it overdrafting my account. I want to be able to pay my rent in one go and my electric bill at the same time and not constantly pay late fees on top of the bills themselves. I want to be able to doordash lunch at least once a week like I see my supervisor doing 3-4x a week instead of just not eating lunch at my desk and drinking the free coffee we have and ignoring my stomach hurting. Holy shit I want to be able to take my kid on an actual vacation. I want to be able to buy my kid the Christmas gifts she wants without having to go through toys for tots or other charities. Things are not getting better, and I am so tired of struggling. Had I known 9 years later I would be in this bad of a place and struggling THIS much I would have given her up for adoption. Its not fair to her to live in poverty and have a mom barely making it. I know I'm not the only one struggling but I just feel beat down and tired. I'm only 27 and really thought life would be different for me, for us. I'm just waiting for the day my daughter tells me she hates me because I just fucking suck at taking care of her. I know logically she isn't better off without me, I don't even want to be rich. I just want to make a stable income and be able to afford the basic necessities and maybe some fun stuff on the weekends or over her summer break. Or to be able to cover emergency expenses. Life is just way harder than it needs to be

I felt this article SO much. I know the obvious answer to fix these issues NYT is high-lighting is "to get a high paying job" and to "find a lower rent apartment." My apartment is on the very low end of rental prices (very grateful for this) but I truly cannot find a better paying job to save my life. I have 10+ years of experience and I've been skilling up, know how to use AI (feels like a necessary evil for hiring right now), getting new certifications, opening my search, connecting with friends, strangers, friends of friends but it's hard out there when corporations rather pay someone with no skills a fraction of the rate.

I can't even imagine bringing a kid into this. If my partner and I had a kid tomorrow we'd be financially destroyed. I've known for years that our generations purchasing power relative to our salaries is nowhere close to the same as older generations, but I just feel such heavy depression and sadness from it now.

Anyone else feeling the sharp contrast against earlier generations super deeply right now?

Source: IG @arcade.and.travel.adventures

Confirmed by: @PlaystationSize via X

Sean Connery (Highlander) - as Rick said in Rick and Morty “He played THE SPANIARD and did nothing about his accent.

Nicole Kidman (Cold Mountain) - Watching this movie made you wonder if she watched cartoons as prep for a southern accent, while you can tell there was an Australian “BLIMY!” desperately trying to sneak out.

John Wayne (The Conquerer) - It was like he was putting on a southern accent so that people would think he was too fruity.

Emma Watson (Beauty and the Beast remake) - Emma is the quintessential “this person has a British accent so that means they’re a good actor” actor.

And wow, did she completely forget she was French half the time in this movie.

It wouldn’t be so bad if she just committed to an accent, but it kept changing scene to scene.

Luckily for her everyone was too distracted by the jarring cgi with no art direction to remember how bad she was in this monstrosity.

Mmm milk!

Breaking news: baby black bear discovers… toes.

(Little guy and his 2 equally fluffy siblings are staying with us temporarily while their main foster is away. Wish I had them longer but let me tell you long haired kittens are a hot mess.)