My Family is a very tight-nit family. At least once a year, my close relatives (i.e. my parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, and children of my cousins) come together to spend several days together.

This week, we came together and have had lots of fun together so far. But there is an issue. Me and my cousins are often referred to together. As the youngest cousins, all I have known is to be referred to with my cousins. In other words, we have a lot of items with all our names on them, grouped together in one big group. My cousins came up with an idea this time; they want us all to get a tattoo, a special one that all the cousins will have but is slightly different for each cousin.

But I don't want to get a tattoo. I am deathly protective of my body and have not even gotten my ears pierced. I really don't want a tattoo. I don't want to do what I see as 'marring' my body (this is a personal thing I have nothing against other people getting tattoos). I feel like I'm about to break down though, I also want to get something to show the closeness and collectiveness of us cousins but getting a tattoo is too much, I'm going crazy help please

Im such a coward. I dunno what to do.

Honestly man. I don’t know what it is about me lately. But such trivial things have been getting on my nerves.

Like my neighbor has been running an air purifier downstairs. It’s a little close to his wall/door, and creating a bit of vibration/noise.

But it’s isn’t life-threatening man. It’s just a little noise. No louder than my fridge, or the cars going by. But I fixate on this shit.

“How dare that asshole not think about the science behind sound traveling through shared properties. That piece of shit. I can’t just get a moment to myself, without this fucking noise or something else.”

But more importantly, I don’t want to give a fuck about any of it. I just wanna live, and let life be whatever it is, then smile and perhaps even have some tacos.

I just find myself doing this with a lot of shit lately, and I don’t know why.

This book has been suggested on random pages and channels quite a few times. I don't think there is a better sub to ask for the review.

I talked to a girl I like on campus recently. Literally just a basic conversation, but some guy saw us and is now spreading stupid rumors around our group.

Because we actually *did* talk, there's a tiny kernel of truth in it, which makes it harder to call out without looking defensive or like I'm lying.

Logically, I know college drama is petty, people have short attention spans, and I shouldn't give a random guy this much space in my head. But it’s still getting under my skin and making things awkward. How do I genuinely train myself to not give a f*** about this gossip and just move past it?

Edit:- I also have an crush on this girl.

I know people say to just be yourself and not care what anyone thinks about you, but the issue is that peoples thoughts don't just stay as thoughts, they have to do something about those thoughts especially negative ones. When someone doesn't like you, they feel the need to insult you, bad mouth and spread rumors about you, block off opportunities from you, even assault you. I don't believe there are enough systems in place (especially in school and work environments) to protect people who are dealing with the consequences of someone not liking you other than to leave, but sometimes you don't have that option.

So I was hanging out with my friend's friends and i didn't knew them much but we were hanging out one day and they start pulling my leg and after few moment they literally ganged up on me and start humaliating me ( verbally) and they think it was funny and but it wasn't , i never been into situation like this before so it was very hard for me to handle..

It's been weeks but I can't stop thinking about that night, like i thinking about that i should say that and i should do and counter back like this and that but I am mentally tried of that and i wanna stop thinking about it completely, so please help me how can I overcome this thinking?? It came only at night before I sleeps and it make me so hard to sleep!!

( Sorry for my bad english, it's not my MT)

Hey everyone, AuDHD male 34 here.

Working from home the past 6 years and for the past 2-3 months I am getting the feeling the most of the small team I work with don't like me.

And honestly I'm tired of caring, so please kind people of reddit talk some sense into me and help me with some perspective here.

Thanking you 🙏

I had a meeting with a psychologist, and after talking to her, it made me realize that I have been people-pleasing and fawning all my life, because expressing my wishes and desires was either ridiculed, punished or downplayed (the classical "I had it worse" answers).

This spilled over to my adult life, where instead of saying "No" and doing what I think is good for me, I lost all my sense of self and became a doormat. Being afraid of conflict, being disliked or being (verbally) attacked, I started fawning as a defense mechanism, whether with my co-workers, clients or even my roommate (from whom I moved out finally a few days ago, as he was starting to yell at me at night for "moving around in bed" as in how you turn left or right when you're trying to fall asleep - he was controlling every inch of my life and was denying myself my own basic existence).

I realized that no matter how much I please people, I will never please them enough, and they'll come for more and find things they'll be disappointed in me. I also realized that it's OK if people dislike me or even hate me and my basic needs, as this just wheats out the people incompatible with me in life. And if there are little to no left, then this is still better than trying to be that good boy and pleasing others.

But after 28 years of being a people-pleaser, fawning, and all that brainwashing, how can I stop being one and become the asshole I truly am so to speak? I can't allow myself to fall into similar situations like that with my roommate again, I'm still young, I still can meet such people in other situations in life.

I need someone to teach me how to not give a single shit about anything. My overthinking has been bothering me so much and I just need to try and stop those thoughts from ruining my day because in the end nothing is ever that serious but my brain just can’t comprehend that for some reason. Let me know how y’all stopped giving a fuck!

Even though you know it's eating you from inside.

This book was recommended to me some time ago, so I bought it and read it.

It does have some interesting points, not gonna lie. But the only way I can have "the courage to be disliked" is by belittling other people and devaluating them. Like it doesn't matter when a drunk homeless person is disliking you, because you naturally don't care about him that much either way. But if let's say a professor dislikes you, it hurts.

But going through life assuming all other people are worthless just to have the courage to do what you like sounds just sad and tiresome. Also it would also somewhat imply a high level of self-sufficiency needed, as other people might abandon you.

That comrade stuff later on the last few pages of the book didn't convince me at all, as it sounded more like some socialist manifesto.

So while it does come to the right conclusions (that most problems we have are interpersonal problems eventually which boil down to the fear of being judged negatively - problems which are not interpersonal are stuff like medical problems I guess), it doesn't quite give me the right solution on how to push through it and truly be free. I personally just come to another conclusion, but this cannot be true?

Is there any other third way how to get the courage to be disliked: neither by becoming a megalomanic asshole, nor by becoming some (for lack of better term) practical socialist as the book suggested?

I’ve started a new job and I’m having issues with one of my coworkers. She has a very sharp personality and often speaks very bluntly. Upon first interaction she seemed to immediately decide she didn’t like me, asking me one question and then never asking me a question again after that. After that, she put a stop on any of my attempts at conversation by stating that she didn’t like answering questions about herself and just walking off every time I try to interact with her. Yet with other people she’s very talkative and I often hear her laughing at the back with the other staff or having long conversations with customers. I’m quite sensitive so this stung at first but I decided to stop forcing friendliness and only speak to her when necessary. Yes it hurts, but if someone doesn’t seem to like my presence then I’ll just focus on my work or talk to other people. No need to waste energy.

As I’m still familiarising myself with the new place, I have to ask alot of questions about how to do things and whatnot, and unfortunately, due to our roles, I also have to work with her alot more than with the other people who are much nicer to me. By now I’m sure she’s noticed that I avoid as much interaction with her as possible and seems to take offense to it, because she acts even more snarky with me now and seems to nitpick everything I do. If I ask her a question, she doesn’t even look at me to answer the question or explain in detail. If I ask her to explain more, she’ll speak exasperately as if I’m a nuisance to her. If I make so much as a small mistake she’ll shout out at me from where she is, not addressing me by my name, and snip at me as if I lacked common sense.

You would never catch her speaking to a customer or another coworker the way she speaks to me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her smile or look at me with an expression other than irritation. When she tells me off I just acknowledge the note and move on without saying more than a few words because I can’t stand being around her for too long. As much as I want to ignore her, being spoken to like that and being singled out really hurts, the words ring in my head and make me so on edge that it’s difficult to work around her. She gets along fine with literally everyone else but I’m not trying to suck up so I can get her to like me. I don’t know if this sort of dynamic would be sustainable in a workplace without taking a huge mental toll on me.

I’ve been in similar situations before and I’m the type to shut down and ignore the thing thats bothering me instead of facing it head on or trying to solve it, but it makes me repress my feelings and I’ve broken down at work a couple times when the tension builds up.

How would you act in this situation? Any advice?

I’m a 30 y/o female. Had the proposal, wedding date + vendors booked… he ended the relationship 6 months before the wedding saying he fell out of love (he was really mean at the end too which was so shocking since he was there for me during the relationship ship, listed a bunch of things he didn’t like about me and things I did that hurt his feelings during the relationship that he never voiced prior and he disclosed former cheating/kissing) the wedding date recently passed and it’s been hard…

I THINK WHY COULDNT IT HAVE BEEN GOOD?! Are there things I could’ve done that would’ve changed the outcome…

I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me tbh, I’ve been improving my physique and strength training for the past 2 years but it’s not helping.

I’ve hid in a shirt at the pool for the past 3 years but the funny thing is that it’s primarily only at my home pool where it’s only just my family. I just don’t get it.

I’m the kind of guy who has a philosophical view of “no one cares so live your life” or something like that but then I pussy out of shit like this, so I’m hypocritical.

I’m doing the same shit as I did last year, asking for advice, getting confident before summer season, then panicking once the season arrives. Now some days I feel jacked and great in my body and other days I feel terrible.

I tend to overthink a lot of things and I know this whole thing sounds fucking stupid.

So yeah..and yes I used a swim shirt in 2023-2024 and I really don’t want to go back to that.

Sometimes it even makes me feel emotionally bad which in turn may make me feel kind of physically depleted. I always care about what people think of me and how they view me, sometimes worry whether they like me.

But I’m tired of it and tired of how it sometimes may make me feel and even kind of affect my day

The funny thing is, there is probably no actual foundation for worry. But still, it remains something I care about

I have an issue with my gf being on social media. Specifically here, on Reddit. I get jealous when she states that she's posted on here or has asked for advice. I don't want to hear about it, and I'd rather she felt fine after talking to me instead but she doesn't. She's always had a thing for needing validation for others, which in turn makes me feel worthless compared to those she seeks this validation from. I'm insanely jealous, and have looked through her socials more than once. I feel embarrassed and regretful about it every time, and I know that Im insecure. Yes this is very much hypocritical of me as I'm also posting on here (albeit for the first time ever), and I'd rather her have absolute freedom in whatever she does -- without being jealous.

How to not give a fuck?

I’ve known this girl since we were 15 and we had a brief period where we were on and off dating two times around that age. After that the timing could never be worse, we were friends again and she liked me again for a brief period when we were around 17 I didn’t feel the same, however when we were 18 I caught feelings for her again when she was getting with someone else.

After almost a year of not talking we became friends again around late 2025 and very recently she has started talking to someone else and now my feelings for her has come back.

I immediately told her today I couldn’t talk to her anymore and she seemed understanding enough but it just feels like she’s such a big role in my life and there’s nothing I can do rather to move on. (I did say this in a not very mature way as I was upset and told her to never speak or contact me again but she was still understanding)

The problem is that before she got with these people she was always giving such mixed messages while speaking to me and she’s always been kind but it’s like she doesn’t feel as close to me as I am to her.

I had a brief period where I thought I was over it last year and now it’s all coming back and I feel like I’m at square one and need help getting over this again.

I sucked at making friends since i was a kid. No one liked me much only had 2 friends max and now they are gone too. Im just alone with parents and no social life.

Whenever i make friends everyone is close with eachother while im always the third wheel second choice no one cares about.

Even today my friends all went to the mall and didnt bother even inviting me or checking if i can come.

How to stop caring? In general... life sucks

I work at a tech company and get paid well. If they fire me it will be hard to find a job that pays me as much. I am doing my job ok-ishly. I don't think that I am naturally as talented as some of the people I work with, but I am doing ok, and my manager promised me he will tell me if there's something I need to improve or get better at (and he hasn't done so, so I guess I am fine).

But this experience is insanely unenjoyable. I always feel like I don't work well enough. That I don't know things that I should know, and that I don't finish projects fast enough. It makes me constantly anxious and angry at myself. Sometimes I forget to do something and I am really hard with myself, but I should stop giving a fuck. I am doing my job well enough and those fuckers would never feel slightly bad firing me if they had to.

I just don't know how to not give a fuck.

I’m getting looked down on by my younger sister for having major depression, CPTSD, anxiety, and nervous breakdowns. Yeah, fine. Compared to her, I’m a failure. She’s successful. Great. I wish she could leave me alone.

I’ve been trying not to give a fuck about her opinions regarding me but my blood still boils and my blood pressure still skyrockets. I get so mad about what she said that it keeps me up and I feel the stress in my chest.

Clearly, I still give a fuck. I don’t know how to stop. I need to stop giving a fuck so I can finally improve my life but I can’t stop getting resentful and angry. I don’t know how to separate the anger from it all.

This might be a stupid question, but I seriously want to know - how do I stop giving a fuck? How do I choose what to not care about? I constantly have nighttime anxiety of my brain going over minuscule comments that I made or other people made (either recently or possibly a long time ago), and I know I need to "let them go", but literally HOW? I fully accept that these thoughts are not worthy of harping on or giving any of my energy toward (definitely not worth lost sleep), and yet my brain loves to remind me. So how do I become unbothered with something that bothers me?

Currently in a period of recovery and talking with professionals. Been manipulated and gaslit for an eternity and the moment I tried again to not give a fuck, my body went into standby mode and my mind went paranoid.

Everyone around me tells me to stop giving a fuck, but I feel like I need to in order to “survive”. But I can’t even sleep.

Had the healthy mentality of not giving a fuck when I was younger, it faded away once I started my career.

Now I’m trying to find myself again, but I feel like I lost the reason to not give a fuck. Is there even a reason?

Planning a wedding currently and all I can think about is who even cares about us enough to come.

There's a few people who I know would attend and enjoy it, but there's some people where I am like why should I pay for them when they don't acknowledge me.

Many will be like "oh I hope I'm invited" then have nothing to do with me unless we run into each other or something. Even if I post on social media, no one cares enough to like it or keep up with me via text. Its just disappointing having small circles and few friends/family members.

My job is stressful and heavy and making my confidence dwindle. Maybe I just need to work on myself some more. But it can still hurt a little bit despite that.

Curious if anyone has a mantra or something they tell themselves to not feel less worthy of something so special.

OK, I really need you to tell me how to not give a fuck in regards to being so surrounded by so many addict and alcoholics. From the time I was born, I basically been surrounded by them all over the place with a lot of family members and then I married one and luckily he’s in recovery so he’s sober now but had to relapse two years ago. I have an adult son who is an alcoholic addict and now my stepdaughter just recently relapse. I am so fucking sick of this. I go to Alanon and that definitely helps me somewhat but I need to figure out how to not let all of it bother me and how to move forward in my life. I feel like all of these people are just taking me down. Every time I turn around somebody either had a relapse or they are about to. I’m such an empath so I feel everything so it makes it really difficult. But I just came across this Reddit page and I need all the tips! 🙌🏻