r/funny • u/HyperspaceHero • Jun 25 '12

She had the wrong number.

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1.1k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

378 comments sorted by

36

u/Lilcheeks Jun 25 '12

Girls spend so much time trying to convince us that they don't poop, and then they drop a steaming deuce in your car.

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212

u/Stratten Jun 25 '12

This is why I carry three seashells in my car at all times.

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72

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Fake, 3 bars on AT&T

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41

u/garrettg19 Jun 25 '12

For some reason I read "omg nooooo" in Aziz Ansari's voice.

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802

u/Lies_About_Expertise Jun 25 '12

I've worked in upholstery cleaning for around 23 years now, and more than half of my work comes from someone either shitting or vomiting on their upholstery. A few weeks ago I had a girl come in who both shit on and vomited in her car in the same night. I charged her double my normal rate because she didn't even bother to attempt to clean it up. It's a fun job, I couldn't ever imagine doing anything else.

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7

u/blore40 Jun 25 '12

And you lost an opportunity for a free car detailing.

18

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

I've actually been in a car when someone took a dump. It was a girl and she had to go real bad. Told our friend to stop, but it was too late. She had on a thong and the poo was split in half. It was so very awkward/funny/gross. I felt sorry for her :/

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