I have very large breasts and a very small 5lb baby. I have worked with multiple lactation consultants (3 in hospital, 1 outpatient). We still haven’t managed to feed at the breast once because all of the positions they’ve shown make us both really uncomfortable.

Particularly, I can’t stand doing the sandwich/U/C holds on my breasts. My hands are too small to comfortably wrap around the areola and I end up getting carpal tunnel within 5 minutes. It takes a minimum of 4 pillows to get my baby to a comfortable height and any squirming sends them all sliding down. She screams whenever she’s forced onto the breast because it’s massive compared to her mouth. There’s more but you get the point. I could find a way to make some of this work but I just can’t stand the breast compression. I can’t do it.

All of the LCs I’ve seen insist I have to do all of these things, especially the breast compression part or I just can’t breastfeed. I know they all have an education program that says it is best. But is there any alternative? Some fringe breastfeeding philosophy? This seems so unintuitive. I refuse to believe that women have been wringing their breasts for thousands of years without explicitly being told to. Is there somewhere I can go to get “bad advice”

… because if I do, he smiles back, loses the latch, and milk dribbles out of his mouth 😂

I currently have a 2.5 week old newborn who has been unable to latch to my nipples without a nipple shield, the lactation consultant said it’s due to flat nipples and tough tissue around my nipples, has anyone successfully managed to get a baby to latch in time without shields? I’ve already had to switch to bottles of expressed milk for majority of feeds as the shields aren’t the best at night and get whacked off and baby fusses more and gets all upset 😢

My son is a week old. We have struggled to get him to latch since the very first time in the hospital. It’s funny bc the first time he was put on my breast after my c section he nursed for 15 min on each side. The second time we tried he would not latch at all. We had to supplement formula in the hospital bc he was a 10 lb baby and really need to eat and I was not producing very much. I realize this was probably my mistake and I should have just kept trying him at the boob but as a FTM I just wanted to make sure my baby was fed.

He’s 8 days old today and he has latched some days and sometimes for like 10 min on a side but no longer than that, and he will not latch every time. My milk is in. I have just been pumping and giving him a bottle. We try for an hour, he will fall asleep at the boob (and yes I have him stripped down so we can do skin on skin) and no matter how many times I try to wake him up, he won’t stay awake long enough. After so long of trying he then gets SO upset. Scream and crying, uncontrollable. I soothe him and as soon as I put him in the position he will start wailing again and will not stop until we give him a bottle. I have large breast so I feel as if I don’t have a lot of options when it comes to positioning. We have been doing the football hold.

I know it’s still super early and he’s still so little and learning. The LC just advised to keep trying but honestly I can’t go through this every 3 hours we need to feed him. We tried it all. Putting milk on his lips. The bait and switch. I massage and warm them before, pump for 5 min before to prep my nipples. Nothing. His cries hurt my soul, then I cry and get so sad. If I have to do this every 3 hours it’s gonna crush me mentally.

I want to nurse him. How long do I keep trying? I know for a while longer but how often should I try in a day? Bc I can’t do this every time but I also want him to learn. I’m so torn and feeling so mentally exhausted already. I am just looking for advice and support. What have you done if you were in a similar situation? How long did it take? Do I wait for him to get bigger? Will he not ween off a bottle if so? Any advice is helpful.

Thank you <3

My baby is almost 3 weeks old. I thought we’d been feeding so good and latching really well! Lots of diapers to support this. And she’s always calm and seems satisfied after feeds. I had some nipple pain developing on my left side and was concerned we were developing a shallow latch when she was 15 days old. Had lactation come to the house and after a weighted feed, we found out she only took in 1.5 oz. Which is a little low of course. And she nursed for 40 min for that. The lactation consultant said that my baby might have a minor tongue tie and that she also has a really small mouth. So getting a deep latch is hard for her. I’m now pumping and supplementing throughout the day. Curious if anyone’s baby has overcome a tongue tie (that I guess doesn’t sound severe?) the older baby got?

Keep in mind that my baby has actually seen 4 different lactation consultants before this visit, and no one mentioned a tongue tie after evaluating her.

Thank you in advance for any and all feedback.

ETA: thank you SO so much everyone for your extremely kind replies 🥹🫶 I wrote this post out of frustration/desperation in the early morning hours after a long night, and it is truly heartwarming to have woken up to so much support and grace from all of you. I feel like I am so close to the three month mark that a lot of you said there were a lot of improvements, so you’ve given me some hope and I’m not going to give up just yet! 💪 going to leave this post up in case anyone else finds themselves in my shoes and needs to feel a little less alone. I can’t thank you all enough!! Moms really are superheroes.

FTM. I am over two months in to breastfeeding. At what point does baby start consistently latching correctly so my nipples can stop being absolutely fucking destroyed every day??? “Consult with an IBCLC!” I have seen six. Six different people who have all told me baby’s latch is fine. I have seen multiple ENTs who have confirmed no tongue or lip ties. I am sick and tired of feeling like I need to choose between suffering in toe curling pain so my baby can eat, or taking my boob out of baby’s mouth and wondering if I’m going to get mastitis for a third time and or if I’m starving my baby by cutting him off early so that I can breathe for two seconds. Right now I’d say we’re latching correctly *maybe* 50% of the time. I know this because I have felt the painless “pulling” sensation that breastfeeding is suppose to feel like. The rest of the time it feels like someone is pinching me repeatedly until I feel like someone has taken a power sander to me. I have done all of the things. All of the different positions. All of the “wait until baby (inevitably doesn’t) opens the mouth all the way!” Nothing is working. I don’t know if I’m even looking for advice necessarily since everybody and their brother (and google) all tell me the same thing and I’m doing everything right, so unless there’s someone out there with some miracle fix I guess I’m venting more than anything. If you made it this far, thanks for taking the time.

Went to an LC last Tuesday and she made me feel like breastfeeding was possible without the pain...but I still can't do it on my own.

I have big breasts and I feel like I'm shoving a bigger than Oreo cookie areola in my baby's mouth. I know your supposed to 'hamburger' the areola essentially- but it confuses me when I stick the bottom part on her chin and I'm suppose to guide her to me onto my nipple?? She's too fast and just tries to latch right on the nipple instead of taking in the whole areola.

I do try to wait till she has a super wide mouth but, I just can't get it right- I always have a back up pumped bottle ready so I don't try to force it and give it a bad experience, or I'll just bare the pinched nipple pain.

Can anyone describe latching in a way that works for them?

I am 2 days postpartum, my daughter and I came home today and I DREAD every single feed. Nursing hurts so bad and I keep getting blisters (I’ve found doing a good saline soak and scrub really helps). But I think I’ve determined that my baby just has a really shallow latch because my nipples always have the lipstick shape when she’s done nursing.
I have big breasts (I was a G cup before pregnancy) and extra big areolas. I think my anatomy is partly what’s preventing her from getting a good latch.
I’ve been powering through some sessions, just sobbing through the whole thing and sometimes can’t bring myself to try and just give her formula.
I know it’s normal to have discomfort at first especially because this is my first kid but there’s no way this type of sharp pain is normal.
Did anyone else have this? What do you recommend/ has anyone come across any advice that was actually helpful? I’ve watched so many videos and read so many articles and I feel like I’m failing my baby and myself.

I’m due with my second In 2 months, I ended up exclusively pumping for my first because he just wouldn’t latch. I developed an oversupply and pumped for a year. It was a lot on my mental health and I don’t want to do it again. I would like to breastfeed and only pump when needed to build supply or freezer stash for when someone else watches her or feeds her. What can I do to help baby want to feed from breast if she doesn’t immediately take to it? And what does the pumping schedule look like when you breastfeed from breast as well? I feel so lost with this, I don’t know how many bottles to have ready just in case. My plan as of now is to see if baby takes breast and if not, than I might go right to formula. I cannot do just pumping again. I’m going to have a really rough recovery I’ve already been warned and I won’t be able to be on my feet much which means pump parts and bottles won’t get washed unless I do it and I won’t be able to do them as much as they would need. Any tips for success would be much appreciated and any idea of what life is actually like as a breastfeeding mother, I assume it’s a lot different than exclusively pumping and would like to know how life actually is when they take from the breast

Ftm here. My baby started being real fussy on the boob at about 6 weeks. He latches for about 4 minutes before he's pushing away and crying. I switch sides and he lasts 4 minutes again before he does the same to the other boob. Because of this, I am constantly switching and only feeding for 15ish minutes each time. I believe he fusses because I have a fast let down and he gets grumpy when it slows, but my partner is certain that the baby is not getting enough milk. He also thinks i'm not feeding for long enough or frequently enough (midwife said every 2 to 3 hours so he thinks I should be waking him to feed- I disagree and don't wake him unless it's been over 4 hours) and he says I "just don't want to breast feed him". Which is not true at all. Baby has plenty of wet nappys and is gaining a sufficient amount of weight, but my partner still isn't convinced and wants to top him up with formula, which I don't really want to do.

Hello, I'm hoping someone here can give me advice to fix this issue.

My little lady (4 days old) seems to only like my right nipple/boob. My SO and I joke that it is the favorite boob, but I'm starting to get concerned. In the hospital since day one she has not had many issues latching and had taken both boobs no problem until our last night there (3 days old). She attempts to latch and seems like she wants to feed from it, but gets so frustrated that she ends up screaming and getting so worked up that I have to just put her on the right one. When I move her to the right side, she latches right away and feeds for anywhere between 25-60 minutes. I am just not understanding what I am doing wrong for her to not like the left side. My boob is huge, hard as a rock, leaking at the slightest touch and it hurts. I know if I can't get her to start using it again, it can reduce my supply. I try putting her in football position, laying down, directly on top, literally everything and she just will not latch or stay latched when she does.

I know that a fed baby is best, but I would really like to only use breast milk for her. Formula is crazy expensive and my SO and I already are scraping by with me being on maternity leave (I'm the higher income). I also just really want this one thing to happen since nothing about my birth experience went how I wanted/expected. I labored for 36 hours to ultimately end up getting an emergency c-section. I'm struggling to get up and move from the incision pain/strain on my core. I desperately need breastfeeding to go smoothly, for my own mental health.

Thanks in advance for any advice or tips anyone can give me.

My bub is 7 weeks old and right from day dot we have had issues breastfeeding. Mainly with latching, however we've kept persevering.
I have seen TWO different LCs, I've done every possible position. Tried different pillows and set ups for myself. We've been checked for tongue/lip ties. We've seen an osteo. Nothing has worked, I don't know what else I can do before just giving up ( I really don't want to)
My baby can NOT hold her latch. Every single feed she is clicking away like crazy, this obviously contributes to ALOT of air intake cause her to spit up horrendously, and suffer with gas pain. I give her gas drops which help a bit. And do exercises for lower gas multiple times a day.
I've tried her on bottles a few times (pigeon and dr browns) and she also loses that latch easily.

I am a bigger breasted woman and really struggle with positions, we started off with football hold but as she's gotten bigger that wasn't so comfortable. I struggle with cross cradle because there doesn't seem to be much room to get her latched in the crux of my elbow.
Currently I use a mybrestfriend pillow and lay her across my front tummy to tummy. (This makes it so difficult to go out anywhere).
I also have a decent supply of milk and a strong let down which she was struggling with, I've tried to express some of that off before feeding her to help as she chokes on my milk a bit.
I've tried the laid back methods I find that very hard. I almost need an extra set of hands. one is holding her, one is keeping my boob from blocking her air supply!

Surely there's got to be something I haven't tried because this just feels ridiculous that I can't get her to latch properly 🥲 am I just doomed and do I need to give up?

I do have videos of the noise she makes but I can't figure out how to upload lol

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME 😭😭😭😭

Hi all,

Sorry it’s a long one but it’s better if I fully explain.

So our little boy is 15 weeks today and I’ve been exclusively breastfeeding him. Since he was born I’ve always struggled with a shallow latch. He initially had a posterior tongue tie which was cut when he was a few weeks old and the IBCLC who did it suggested laid back nursing to help him achieve a deeper latch, which is the position I’m still using now. The way I’d describe it is that I’ll line him up nose to nipple, he’ll open wide and latch, outwardly it will look like a good latch, but if you look closely at his lips, he’s somehow closed his lips around the nipple at some point during latching so he’s sipping it, and I’ve never been able to get him to not do that and keep his mouth wide no matter what I try - that includes using a finger to pull his chin down. Nipple will come out slightly lipstick shaped and I’m sure I’ve had vasospasms. So over time I just got used to it because it was only causing slight friction, not enough to cause actual pain, and I’d not needed nipple cream in a while - I thought it was a combination of his mouth getting bigger and my nipples getting tougher. I have fast/forceful letdown sometimes so I wondered if a continued shallow latch was due to this too.

However we’ve been experiencing what we think is the 3 month breastfeeding crisis for a while now, I’d say since 7 weeks old and he’s still a bit fussy - latching and delatching, smushing head into my breast and moving his head left to right while still latched so that combined with a shallow latch, I’ve been getting nipple pain again because he’s been a bit rough with this behaviour. Sometimes it’s impossible to latch him because he’ll smush his chin down towards his chest which is the opposite of what I need him to do! The only thing that will avoid this behaviour is feeding him when he just wakes up or when he’s really hungry (waiting for crying as a late cue) where he’ll feed much much better.

Throughout all these challenges it’s never worried me because I’ve thought “well it’s ok because if breastfeeding ever becomes too much, I’ll pump and bottle feed/formula instead”, only last week we discovered he now won’t take a bottle! Meaning trying to just stick it out as long as I can with EBF has gone from being a choice to being the only option currently. We’ve tried me leaving the house and we’ve tried 2 different teat shapes so far - Dr Browns Narrow size 1 and Lansinoh Naturalwave. We’ve had some success with putting the nipple in his mouth but he won’t suck and will push it out with his tongue. Exact same when we’ve tried to offer a dummy.

This has got me really concerned about what will happen when he starts getting his first teeth - will I start to struggle with the shallow latch and it become more painful? What if at our next weigh in he’s dropping weight due to the fussiness? In both of these, I can’t supplement easily if he’s bottle refusing… 😬

What I’m looking for is advice re the shallow latch or the bottle refusing and/or people who had a very similar situation as me (shallow latch they could never correct despite help from an IBCLC) and it still turned out ok once teeth came through..?

Thanks in advance for any replies 🙂

I cannot seem to get my baby to latch better on the one side regardless of what I do.

It’s making me dread feeding him on that side because I get so frustrated and upset, I’m trying to fix it and nothing works.

I’ve even seen professionals and it doesn’t help, I don’t know what to do anymore because I’m not going to stop breast feeding but I can’t fix it.

My daughter is 3 weeks and the first week seemed okay. But the last 2 weeks it seems like breastfeeding isn’t working the way it’s supposed to. She latches great on one side and it takes her longer on the other. But either way she drinks for about 10 seconds, lets go, starts screaming and latches again. And we do this for like 30 minutes or so. I don’t want to give up but at this point she seems happier with the bottle,

Is any of this normal? Can we improve or it’s not going to work?

I have been agonizing over this decision for the past two months. My baby is 12 weeks old and has a severe tongue tie as diagnosed by our pediatrician and Lactation Consultant. I am trying to get a 3rd opinion with an ENT Doc but there’s a long waitlist to get this done.

My baby has been gaining weight and feeding fine, but it is painful to breast-feed (unless I’m doing breast compressions). I have also been incorporating pumped breastmilk via bottle to ensure that he is getting enough calories, as I am not sure about the efficiency of his latch.

After much research and reading, I am leaning towards getting the procedure done. I am curious to hear for those who did, which medical practitioner did you go to? Is it a pediatric dentist, an ENT doctor, another doctor specialty? I know some lactation consultants do it but I would feel more comfortable with a medical practitioner.

Hello! I’m a first time mom and I’m trying to look for advice and maybe hope. I have a one week old and I have flat nipples and my baby does latch but it obviously doesn’t ever feel like the perfect latch. He eats pretty good, I mean he’s having wet diapers and gaining weight, but sometimes he will just absolutely refuse to latch. Like he goes on my nipple and rips his head off and we go back and forth doing that over and over again. It gets to a point where I sometimes need to use a nipple shield, and I know I shouldn’t feel like this but when I need to use the shield I feel like such a failure. I mean I put the shield on and just cry because I feel like my body is failing my baby because I have flat nipples. If anyone has/had a similar experience, when did your baby start latching good and/or when did breast feeding get easier? 😭

Will he grow out of this? Some background information first for context.
Baby is 11 days old and he’s my first. I have seen lactation a handful of times and they said he has a small mouth and a slightly protruding down hard palette. They have given me a nipple shield to use but I really want to avoid using it if possible. I also have semi flat nipples. They will come out a little bit after he sucks for a while but they don’t come out nearly as far as some peoples so I think that’s partially why he can’t hold my breast in his mouth independently.

In order for him to have a decent latch I have to Sandwich my breast and hold his head into my breast the entire feeding. If I let go of either hand, the latch becomes shallow. I can also rarely get a truly deep latch no matter what me or the lactation consultant do.

It’s really annoying having to breast-feed with both hands every time because I can’t do anything while he’s nursing. I can’t drink water. I can’t get on my phone. Nothing. I want to side lie nurse at night and I can’t without the shield. Will he grow out of this and be able to hold the latch on his own in time?

Hi there, I've been basically 0/3 for nursing my babies. All of them received bottles early on and for one reason or another really didn't prefer the breast. I have exclusively pumped which I'm good at so I'm just doing it until I hate it.

However, my little girl twin was just mouthing at my boob through my tank top. I decided to see if she was actually rooting and she latched! Pretty well. It didn't seem like really knew why she was doing it either but it was really nice. She smiled and seemed to drink a bit then pulled off. Spit up some too. I didn't keep track of how long she was nursing.

Is this a thing? Why is she doing this so late? A lactation consultant told me about a month is the latest you'd try to establish nursing.

Sorry I didn't know what flair to use

My 3 mo is EBF and refuses bottles no matter what bottle I try. Since yesterday he will not stay latched for more than a minute at a time before unlatching and freaking out. Every time I try to burp him nothing happens. Because of this he won’t sleep because he’s always hungry. He’s going 3 hours or more between naps and only slept for an hour at a time all night last night. No matter what position I try he will not stay latched. Please help I’m at the end of my rope and currently crying while my husband holds baby who has been up since 12 and it’s almost 5. He’s barely had any milk.

Update: thank you for all the support and suggestions, I didn’t respond to many but I read them all. It’s been a few days and feeding him when he was sleepy helped, side lying helped. He eventually just seemed to get over it. He’s still not nursing as long as he usually does. He’s getting frustrated after 15 minutes when he used to eat for 30+ minutes. But after I burp him he seems resistant to trying again. We’re getting by and it sounds like, from everyone’s comments, that this is a passing phase. Thank you guys! 💕

My baby is 7 days old and I'm breastfeeding quite successfully so far, I didn't expect to have enough milk by now especially since he's born via C-section.

But it hurts like hell for the first 5min and than the rest of breastfeeding session is not painful.

I went to two breastfeeding consultations and both doctors/nurses told me it's not supposed to be painful, we're supposed to enjoy etc. But every mom I asked said it was painful for at least a month.

I do have small cracks and even though he opens his mouth widely I'm not sure if I have latch issues or is the pain just normal in the first weeks?

I can only get my 4 month baby to take a boob while she’s half asleep. Thankfully she naps every 2 hrs so I time her feeds with her nap. But I’m worried I’m creating a bad habit (associating feeding with napping/sleeping). This started at 3 month where she would get distracted, and she pulls away from the boob. I’m also worried she’s developed breast aversion. Because I know she’s hungry but when I offer her a boob she has a meltdown.

I recently found she will take a boob while I’m baby wearing her while she’s awake! But it’s the cradle hold while she’s awake she hates. Am I doing it wrong? Whiles she’s sleeping she feeds fine in the cradle position.

Her weight has never been an issue. Currently 7.5kg or 16.5 pounds.

Has anyone been through this? What’s going on? What can I do to fix it?

My LO is 11 weeks. We’ve had struggles breastfeeding with a strong letdown and we were doing well for a while but now he will refuse to latch unless he’s either going down for a nap, waking up from a nap, or it’s the middle of the night. Otherwise he just cries when offered to nurse. It’s so incredibly sad. I’m trying to not force feeds, but I also get so anxious when he doesn’t eat well. Has anyone overcome an aversion, and if so, any tips are appreciated. Thank you 🥺

💔My baby was born at 39 weeks through cesarean. At first I didn't produce milk, even when I pumped it was something about a tablespoon. He was put on formula but I was still adviced to keep trying. He was fed formula milk with a spoon after which I started getting a little milk and yet he refused breast. He was rhen fed breastmilk through the spoon which was getting difficult so I got a feeding bottle and he started drinking expressed milk and formula soemtimes through the bottle. I have been trying to breastfeed him so much but he just keeps crying and not even trying to latch. The moment he realizes it's the breast he doesn't close his mouth and starts screaming and crying. Idk what to do. Is it because I have flat nipples? I have been using the nipple puller and have ordered nipple shields that arrive later this week. Idk if it's going to help.

Anybody else faced this issue and got resolved? Please please help. Postpartum is already taking a toll on me and this is just breaking me.

My baby is 3 months on the 19th of this month. im EBF, I’ve introduced bottles early so she takes them but don’t do it often so she doesn’t prefer it. A couple of days ago I got my period and I noticed my supply tank a bit. I also noticed my baby unlatch all through out her feed. Constant unlatching and would arch her back. She even started to resist latching back on. I’m at a loss. I don’t want to give up breastfeeding but this is so hard and I don’t know what to do. Please help!!!