r/atheism • • Jun 26 '12

I made this for r/coffewithjesus, but I think it really belongs here

Post image

[deleted]

1.2k Upvotes

90 comments sorted by

28

u/Zodzilla3 Jun 26 '12

You're all absolutely wrong. 'Jesus' was named John, he was a 12,000 year old man at the time due to a genetic abnormality that let him live forever. He had met the Buddha 500 years before and he wanted to share his teachings. He mentioned he 'had a master greater than himself'.

14

u/hoboj Jun 26 '12

The Man from Earth reference, nice.

9

u/Zodzilla3 Jun 26 '12

"The new testament in 100 words or less... the mythical overlay is so thick, and BAD. In reality it's so... so... simple."

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8

u/Neogodfather Jun 26 '12

Props for the Man from Earth reference. I never thought a movie about a bunch of people just talking in a cabin could be so enjoyable.

4

u/Zodzilla3 Jun 26 '12

Seriously! One of my favorite films of all time. Quite nice to have playing in the background at work.

2

u/godisanalien Jun 27 '12

That's right and he was a Neanderthal.

2

u/Zodzilla3 Jun 28 '12

No no! Cro-Magnon.

11

u/thegreenergrasses Jun 26 '12

Oh Jesus you so silly

8

u/skatato Jun 26 '12

when do we go after the jews?

4

u/MayorEmanuel Jun 26 '12

Probably after the high holidays start.

2

u/skatato Jun 27 '12

maybe Hindus first?

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u/NagastaBagamba Jun 26 '12

2

u/skatato Jun 27 '12

keyword:

Fellow-Christians: Not us atheists.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

Is this a Hitler quote?

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u/Owlsrule12 Jun 26 '12

Interesting idea but.. As a former Jew (was never religious though) I've read that it's very common for Jews to become atheist because the religion isn't focused on forcing beliefs or converting, and there's even an element of logic and intelligence (hew stereotype? Works for me.) so I feel like perhaps it would be almost.. Uncalled for, and ineffective to go after the Jews. We could maybe do a one day thing where we make fun of the awesome food and even maybe the stereotypes.

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u/Mrlego Jun 26 '12

Actually I think Judaism is really nice! They never force their beliefs on anyone, and their beliefs are pretty peaceful in the first place. From what I've heard they don't even really have a "hell".

2

u/1gnominious Jun 26 '12

Israel is actually full of fundamentalist Jews. We're talking hardcore crazy. Western Jews are way more liberal and secular. You would not like being an infidel in Israel.

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3

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

One of the best CWJs ever!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.

5

u/TheAurelian Jun 26 '12

Um. Jesus is still a prophet in the Muslim faith.

18

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

Yup, but he was a Jew.

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u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

You are overthinking a joke.

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1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

NO WAY! I always though Jesus is white!

1

u/K1Strata Jun 26 '12

Jesus is part of Islam too. He's the 12th prophet.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

Jesus Christ, as depicted in the various Christian Bibles, is the son of God, and is "our lord and savior", also King of the Jews.

In the Qu'ran, Jesus is a prophet. Wiki article for more information

So, attacking Islam is still attacking Jesus, albeit a different version.

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