"Objection! Leading question! It presupposes that the chicken did cross the road, which the prosecution has not established."

"Sustained. Watch yourself, counsellor."

"Yes your honour." Turning back to the witness, "So, did you see the chicken cross the road?"

"No, I did not."

Those who understand binary, and those who do not. And also those who believe they have understood binary, but in reality have not. And those who do not care about binary. And those who are currently learning binary. And those who deny the existence of binary. And those who are deaf, dumb and blind and therefore cannot tell us whether they understand binary or not. And those who learnt binary system school once, but have since forgotten it. The one person who invented binary. And the people who came before him or her, about whom one cannot say for certain whether they were among those who understood binary or not, because they never had the chance to understand it in the first place.

Aloha.

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Agamemnon

You get sentenced to 25-to-life for first-degree murder, because vampires aren't real and you just impaled a pale night-shift worker with a severe vitamin D deficiency.

It depends what time they flash the bat signal

Hannah walked past a lonely man, when suddenly he yelled: "Oooooh, woman, may you help me!"

She turned to him, and glanced at him with a super menacing stare...

And then she just walked away!

I’m not sure of the reason.

It's really expensive and has a steep learning curve.

"Ay bro, wanna come diffuse that landmine?"

"Bitch, I'm trying to sleep, how about you go and-"

"No need to be rude, friend."

"Really?"

"..."

Police officers just diffused the landmine instead, and the two men literally did not do anything and just sat in complete silence.

a pile of diarrhea with chewing gum in it

"Hello there, father."

"Hello there, son."

"I have no money."

"I guess."

"Dude, why is that what you're saying, help me!"

"No, I don't really want to."

"You're my father."

"I know that."

"...Are you, like, actually going to help?"

"No."

"Okay."

What a horrible father.

An ANGRY duck.

He is opposed to eating processed, sugary snacks. He much prefers bread and wine.

Paint yourself green, preheat the oven to 350 and then throw spoons at her.

go to a Latin American country or Texas

Edit: also Ohio

Somebody else's cheese.

Me: i saw a wolf on my way to work today
Wife: where?
Me: no, the other kind