r/Yorkies • u/flowercan126 • Jun 13 '26
I just have to scream into the void for a minute. We had a sad vet visit today
She's sleeping on me right now. I don't know how long she has. The conversation with the vet left it at she won't be here in a year and she won't be with us for a long as we hoped but today isn't the day. I wrote that cold sounding but it really wasn't. I love her. She's taken care of her since the day she left the shelter until her last days.
She's been weird for a little bit showing more dementia symptoms and earlier in the day. A lot of the time I'm not sure if she always knows it's me. I asked the vet to take blood to see if anything else but the gradual decline due to age. I know it's going to come back good. Her bloodwork is always good. I feel like I have to stay awake as long as she's here. I don't want to miss a minute.
As soon as we got her 8 years ago she had luxated patella surgery. 5 years ago, one knee came apart. We knew it would. They told us there wasn't much material left to work with. That was okay thought. It never bothered her. Yesterday her second one came apart. I knew it because when we first got her she'd be running and her 2 back legs would give out. Yesterday was the first time i saw that again. I emailed the vet to ask if a little wheelchair could benefit her or confuse or scare her. When the time comes to make the decision I don't want it to be for something could be prevented. I don't want to have to let her go while she still gets joy just because her legs are a hindrance. We aren't going to be selfish. I told her as soon as she ready let's me know. Even if she has full on dementia she still eats and drink well for her age. She still does circles when she's happy. She still loves sitting in the sun with the cat she's ignored for 8 years. She still loves car rides and giving and getting kisses. And she still stretches to my shoulder for hugs. It's not time.
I'm so scared about what it's going to be like without her. I'm afraid she'll be scared. I'm afraid she be scared without us after. I'm afraid our hearts will always be broken. She came to us purely by accident after we lost our Hazel tragically, suddenly and it was my fault. Something happened that I didn't know could happen until it did. I'm being intentionally vague because if I give everything to much thought I'll cry again and I have a headache.
She came to us unexpected and the second she walked in the house she swept the sadness out of every inch. I love thinking about that day. She was so happy getting out. She was very stoic all the times I visited and walked her. Completely ignoring me. The day she came home I was holding her and asked if she wanted to join our family and told her all the perks. She completely ignored me. I carried her out to the car and as soon as I sat down she started worming all over me. And kisses! So many kisses.
I think i just need it in the universe that she was here and was so loved and how lucky I am to have gotten to be her mama for a long as I did.
Thank you to the page and members for a place I could put this. We're not telling anyone because we'll just have to talk about and think about it more. I haven't even given my husband all the details. I can't watch his heart break too right now.
That's her at the drive in last summer ❤️
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u/nemoflamingo Jun 13 '26
I remember my heart broke into a million pieces when our little Yorkie girl passed last year. We had some notice too, and struggled with similar decisions of when the right time would be. For us, it was when she became incontinent and her legs gave out. She was running and playing up until that day. And that day she let us know, she kissed my mom and I for hours. Like she was telling us it was okay and that it was time. We made that last day special for her, carried her to her favorite places to smell and feel the breeze in the neighborhood. We cooked her ribeye, and she was happy and content eating delicious food, being cuddled by her family as she fell asleep peacefully with the vet who came to the house to administer the medicine to give her her final long rest. It will be so hard, but it will be okay. And your little bundle of love will let you know when it's time
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u/LeastIntroduction239 Jun 13 '26
I’ve been there with my old B.Boy who passed 04/02/26.
He had dog dementia, was blind and often struggling to find his way in the apartment he lived in all his life.
I was devastated until I realized we had a good and happy life together.
I thought my anxiety added to his problems and then, I decided I’ll take the good moments with him calmly, before the terrible day comes.
And it changed everything: I petted him, talked to him, told him how important he was, played with him and his favorite plushie, holding him while he slept. I took every tiny pleasure we could have together peacefully and it was a relief, bc I don’t regret anything now.
Please, be kind to yourself and try to enjoy the time left with joy.
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u/angiestefanie Jun 13 '26
Sending you hugs… Sometimes words are just not enough. 😢
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u/inthebenefitofmrkite Jun 13 '26
Been there. Sucks, but you have still some time, so make the most of it
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u/quipcow Jun 13 '26
Enjoy every precious moment you have w her. And know that the loves and appreciates every moment she has with you!
Its never easy, no matter how much time we have with them,,, it's never enough.
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u/Ok_Cook_1381 Jun 13 '26
It’s so heartbreaking they our are everything they know all out secrets all our stories if and when my Bella goes I will be right there as well! Good luck and I will wish you peace!
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u/Perfect_Barracuda442 Jun 13 '26
I’m so sorry. I wish you so many amazing days. I know you will love on her as much as possible. Make lots of memories, they will sustain you when she’s gone. Sending all of you love. 💕
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u/shiddednfarddded Jun 13 '26
While she is just a chapter in your book, you are her whole book. You mean the absolute world to her and that will transcend any illness or death. The bonds that we share with our pets are for life. She may even send someone for you, just like Hazel sent her.
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u/Ctnj2005 Jun 13 '26
The way you beautifully described your situation, I know that sweet baby had the best life with you. I am sending you all the light and all the support I can. I really hope that the rest of your baby’s days are filled with so much love, peace and comfort. We are gifted with these amazing little animals that forever change our lives and we are better people because of them. ❤️
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u/Extreme-Inflation-43 Jun 13 '26
We are in the same boat. My best friend will be turning 16 on Aug. 4. He is really the old man now. I live in fear of the moment he leaves me. He has been with me since he was 6 wks old.Several times a day I put my face close to his and ask him if he knows it’s me as I tell him how much I love him. He still dances when he is apart from one of us. He gets to eat anything he wants. It is so hard watching our fur babies grow old. I send you a big hug 🥰
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u/Reaper01Actual1970 Jun 13 '26
Everyone else has already said most of what can be said.
But, I'll add that having a little wake and memorial service to pay respect to her is a nice thing to do if you can.
I just saw a beautiful post about a rescue Pomeranian in Korea that had big health problems when found in a shelter, but the owner gave that sweet little pup the best life possible.
I hope you'll see the beauty in their picture instead of the sorrow and perhaps you can do the something similar for your precious little one.
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u/Fur-friendly2022 Jun 13 '26
Your story is beautiful… she’s had a wonderful life and you’ve given her the care she needed throughout. She’ll let you know when it’s time. It’s always difficult… sadly, with so much love, follows pain and grieving, but it’s always worth it. Treasure the time left… live in the moment with her always. Sending much love and hugs 🐾🙏🏼🧡
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u/WoodenCapital8723 Jun 13 '26
You should try Nzymes.com (yes it starts with an N), but call them first and explain what is going on and they can recommend the best products for your situation. They really helped me when one of my dogs had severe hind leg weakness issues. ❤️ ❤️
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u/FunAd1406 Jun 13 '26
You are an amazing pet parent. I’m sorry you’re both facing this. Sending you so much love 💗 🙏🏻
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u/LocksmithKey7985 Jun 13 '26
Your post made me cry. I am not a Yorkie owner, but my dad had one, so they hold a very special place in my heart. I am so sorry to hear about your situation. Your pain is palpable through your words. Always remember your pup knows you love them. And they know we always do the best we can for them.
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u/MonkeySuit420 Jun 13 '26
I understand everything you said. I feel everything you said. I'm sorry about your best friend.
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u/hlmoore96 Jun 13 '26 edited Jun 13 '26
Your post moved me more than you’ll ever know. You are an amazing human being with a warm heart.
Please forgive yourself for Hazels passing. I know it’s hard, I know it seems impossible. I can promise you that Hazel doesn’t want you to carry that load. Dogs are literally the most forgiving of beings and you need to give yourself forgiveness and grace. Don’t carry this while you have to face this difficult time. It’s too much for someone with your gentle soul.
Our Mia (ShihTzu and poodle mix) went to peace in February of 2025 after 17 years with us. It is the hardest thing my husband and I have been through in the 30 years of our marriage. Our home became a house overnight. We didn’t want to come home from work. We swore over and over again that we were done. We couldn’t face pain like that again. Our grown children have dogs and a cat. Our plan was to visit often, babysit and spoil them.
In January of this year when I was bracing myself for the anniversary of that horrible day, my mother called saying a friend found a litter of puppies needing homes. I had a temp of 103. I immediately called my husband and sent pictures. We were goners. One of the boys just melted us. I picked up a 2.5 pound little fur ball and he literally changed our lives and made our house a home again.
We’ll never, ever get over the loss of Mia. We talk about her almost every day. Her pictures are framed and everywhere we look. Nothing will remove the missing piece we have in our hearts. But Ray brought a salve that helps with the grief. We named him Ray because he’s a Ray of sunshine after terrible storms.
All of this to say, you already know the grief of loss. There is no escaping that pain. It’s the cost of the love we receive from our pets. I’m terribly sorry you have to face this again. My suggestion and hope for you is that you try to face each day with happiness for the time you have with your sweetheart. Savor each cuddle and cute little thing she does. I wish I’d spent more time enjoying each day rather than filling my day with worry and sadness.
I truly and wholeheartedly believe that our beloved dogs will be with us in whatever afterlife awaits us. I believe our Mia’s spirit is with us but not longing for us. Your girl will remain with you for the rest of your life through love and memories.
Finally, if you are up to it, I’d encourage you to write all of this and more. You have the voice of an author and I believe your journeys are something that would touch a lot of people.
Please keep us updated.
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u/Tough-Advice2910 Jun 13 '26
Look at that darling baby and her gorgeous ears.
You are going to love her as hard as you can until it’s time and you are going to be sad, and you’ll try not to cry in front of her because you want to be strong for her, because you know she senses your moods, just like you do hers.
She’s settling in now. She is content because your smell is all she needs to feel safe and she’s wrapped up in that now. She has been fiercely loved since the very second you brought her home and she.ms always known that, and she is never afraid.
She will not be alone. As soon as she slips into the next world, Hazel will be waiting for her and your girl will immediately know just who she is and that she is part of you, so she’ll never even have a gap in that feeling of being adored. Do not worry.
You are going to be heartbroken, and you will miss her, but it won’t be as bad as you think, because you will have so many more happy memories than sad moments than sad ones and sooner than you think you will think of her, and you won’t cry…you’ll just smile, laugh and you’ll remind each other of the cute things she did, how much joy she has and how much she gave you.
And also sooner than you think….bring someone else. You have so much love to give and so many dogs need it. I think you’ll find that your girl may have had a hand in sending your new baby.
Soak up this time.