Matched with a guy who seemed nice. He suggested an evening hike and I told him I prefer pickleball (his other suggestion) or a more public place. I was honestly shocked by his response which included making fun of where I went to school (which I also took precautions by staying only on campus, etc). Screenshots attached. I wished him well after that and then he still doubled down on what he said. Then I just unmatched.

Edit: guys I’m not a paranoid person who is scared of everything 🙂 Just because I didn’t want to do an evening hike with a stranger and I take precautions in a school in a bad neighborhood doesn’t mean I need therapy (someone even messaged me that). I felt perfectly fine on the school campus and didn’t venture out into bad neighborhoods, that was my “precaution”…sorry if that makes me weird 🫤 And I did google this hike before responding to him and Google mentioned the hike has lots of quiet and secluded areas. Thanks to everyone else for the support!

For context, I probably went on 4 or 5 dates with this guy, including a full day trip to go skiing together 😂 SOS.

Edit because this is popping off:

The dates were 4 and a half years ago, and I look pretty much exactly the same.

I thought his apology was sincere, hence the “lol” at the end. I felt like he’d received the message, and we didn’t talk any further after this interaction.

I didn’t post this because I’m upset or want to shame him. I just found it to be an entertaining commentary on modern dating. Originally I screenshotted it to send to a few friends, and then thought the Reddit community would also enjoy.

Edit: this is incredible guys I’ve been called a manipulator for this simple funny exchange. Judging someone’s character from a four message exchange and then projecting your anger onto them is not a good way to go about life

…we saw it together last week 💀

This one confused me. We’re in the same city so it’s not like different time zones.

She was kind enough to let me know, even though it hurts a lot because I really liked her.

I'd take this kind of rejection any day over going on a date just to get ghosted or unmatched the next day, left wondering what went wrong 😭

Edit: This was supposed to be our fourth date. I only posted this so people can see how to say no kindly and communicate better when it comes to other people's feelings.

People deserve your whole heart, and if you can't give them that, it's kinder to let them know

I recently downloaded Hinge because I moved to a new area and wanted to check out the dating scene.

What I’ve noticed over time is how horribly guilty I feel for declining so many men. My “likes” page is absolutely flooded and it would take me months to sort through everyone (because I’m not paying for that 💩). I feel like there’s nothing wrong with the majority of the men that come across my feed or “likes.” I’m sure most of you are perfectly fine and would make a good partner.

However, the parameters for Hinge (and most dating apps) are so incredibly narrow and superficial. I don’t feel great deciding whether or not someone is “worth” my time based on such shallow parameters because I know that I’m not getting the whole picture of who someone is. Plus, the sheer volume of “likes” I have to sort through takes all the energy out of me when I do eventually match with someone.

So, to all the decent men who are struggling on these apps, or even just Hinge: you’re not doing anything wrong. The game is rigged against you and you’re not failing because there’s something wrong with you.

Reposted bc it wasn't cropped one of the profiles

Hey everyone, I have a genuine question. Please spare me the lecture and just help me understand this.

I recently met up with a female friend, and we’re both in our early twenties. She showed me her Hinge likes and messages, and honestly, I was baffled by the sheer volume of attention she receives.

For context I’d say she’s around a 7/10 in looks(sorry for rating humans), but she has great style, hot tattoos, and a distinct aesthetic. Apparently, she receives somewhere between 100 and 200 likes every single day. Her inbox was full of guys writing thoughtful messages, sending paragraphs, and even dedicating entire poems to her.

What surprised me even more was that these weren’t all unemployed guys with nothing going for them. Plenty seemed attractive, had good jobs, and had genuinely well-put-together profiles. Yet she told me she barely takes most of them seriously because there are simply so many.

And that got me thinking. If you factor in Bumble and Tinder as well, the number of men potentially competing for her attention becomes almost absurd. She could fill a theatre with men in a week

Now, I understand that likes aren’t the same as meaningful connections, and that having hundreds of options doesn’t necessarily mean finding someone compatible. But it’s difficult not to wonder how this affects the dating experience on the other side.

I’m just getting into dating apps myself, and I actually prefer them to meeting people in real life because you can gauge someone's interest and assess basic compatibility through their profile before investing time in a conversation. It seems more efficient than approaching someone only to discover later that the interest isn't mutual or that you're fundamentally incompatible. But seeing this firsthand has made me question whether sending likes is even worth the effort. If a woman is receiving dozens of likes every day, what are the actual chances of an average guy’s profile standing out, even if he puts genuine effort into it?

And honestly, I believe men are responsible for this problem in part or whole , they swipe on literally every girl without even looking at her as person and just viewing them as a sex object. Even women who specifically mention long term in bio face this regularly.

For the women here, is this a typical experience, or is my friend an outlier? And for the men, how do you approach dating apps without getting discouraged by the sheer imbalance in attention? I'm not trying to start a gender war or argue that women have it easy. I’m genuinely curious about how this dynamic works in practice, and I’d appreciate some honest perspectives.

We had just started talking.. like minutes in.

I know you have to wait a bit before showing how weird you are, but the set up was too good to let it die in my head. I regret nothing hahaha

It's bad y'all lmao

Edit: to everyone saying "it's your fault for matching with them", am I a fortune teller and I know how these convos are gonna go?😂😭 this is just a lot of what's out there

Do you think this line has worked for him before?

Edit to add: First message he sent btw.

Yes, it was funny. No, it didn't turn me on.

Or is she BSing me

Went on a date last night with a 38 year old man who talked about himself pretty much the entire time, I put two hours in of asking very insightful questions. I go the bathroom and come back to find him swiping on hinge. I sit down and he doesn’t even look up from his phone until I said “hi” then he said “oh hey, what’s up” likely unaware I knew what he was doing. I told him I was going to head out and that was it. Am I crazy in feeling totally disrespected by that? Is it insane to want someone to show interest and maybe wait until they’re walking home to pull up hinge?!

Update: he texted tonight saying he had a great time and wants to go on another date 😂 I’m going to respectfully decline.

Reposting with his name deleted. Hoping it’s sarcasm.

Matched with this girl 3 times across Hinge (x2) and Bumble.

Just got a date scheduled for Saturday (tonight) at 8 pm (now).

She asked for my phone number. Received it. She texted me. I responded. She unmatched me on Bumble. So I sent a follow up text to her asking if we’re still on. No response.

Not upset. In fact, I don’t honestly care because I’m not personalizing it. I’ve learned that I deserve to be treated better and that I wouldn’t want to date someone that treats others like this.

Just perplexed more than anything!

Anyway, for the most part across the 3 matches, she seemed to have lukewarm interest. As in, she answered questions but never gave thoughtful replies.

Additional lore: Her sister and I graduated HS together. This woman was actually in my brother’s graduating class. I knew all of this prior to matching with her. I’m not sure she knew. I shared my “contact card” with her (with my first and last name), so maybe she found out I was related to my brother? Zero idea if that had to do with anything. My brother was a popular athlete in HS.

this is a lame excuse right? to say that’s what he didn’t include the “have children” option on his profile? it makes 0 sense to me and makes me feel like he didn’t disclose having a kid because it is a deal breaker for a lot of women our age….I was excited but now i’m turned off lmao

No crazy story, just a nice and tender moment I wanted to share.

I was talking to a girl I matched with on Hinge who I went on a dinner date with. She was super cute and nice.

We had a phone call beforehand with some back and forth texting and had a lot in common.

She told me horror stories about her previous dates having girlfriends, looking for threesomes, or didn't use deodorant, and she seemed so happy I was just a normal fucking guy, so I knew the date would be a cake walk for me.

We went to a really nice Mediterranean restaurant and shared a huge plate of food and had good conversations about pretty much everything. The spot was honestly way way nicer than what you should plan for a first date, but oh well lol.

We finished and left and waited for the valet, it was chilly out and raining and her car was pulled around first. She thanked me for the night and loved the dinner. I was about to go for a hug, but she leaned in and kissed my cheek instead.

Completely caught me off guard! It was my first kiss. Nothing mind blowing, but a nice memory (:

I went to bed early and this happened overnight. He also tried to see if he could come to my house for an "intro", last minute asked me to coffee and lunch when I wasn't available and we were supposed to go on an actual planned date tonight but now I am not sure.

Honestly, as a guy, I’ve always felt that “Long-term, open to short” was the most honest relationship preference to put on a dating profile. I’m definitely looking for a long-term relationship, but if a girl were only interested in hooking up, I’d probably be open to that, too.

However, multiple female friends have told me that this status is an “ick” and that I should just put “Long-term relationship” or “Life partner” instead. Is that actually true?

Andddd this is why I don’t go on dates anymore…/