Title kinda explains itself. As some context, I'm a rising senior in high school and have always been incredibly fascinated by fraternities and the culture and rituals surrounding them. The concept of brotherhood, commitment, and forging a true bond through the crucible of hazing is all equally enthralling to me. I have a good shot at some northern schools like BC, BU, Northeastern, or Umass Amherst.

I think the reason i feel so strongly about this topic is partly connected the title itself. Throught my entire life and developmental years I have been entirely deprived of these things. Deprived of close friendship, young love, developmental milestones, and parties as well ofc. In a way i guess I've seen getting a bid at a respectable fraternity as the only way to make up for even a fraction of my lost adolescence. I cannot think of a worse fate than having to be an adult while I cant think of a single positive experience I've had in recent memory. Yet I fear that due to these circumstances I'm a non-starter.

I would say I'm a pretty average looking guy and am quite tall at about 6'2-6'2.5. but other than that I take care of my hygiene and work out pretty regularly and I'm not very geeky and am quite extroverted despite what you prolly think at this point of my post. I don't really a social media presence at all, and im curious how important it is nowadays, like follower ratios and shit.

Is there any way i could get bid to a decent house, if so what could I do maximize my chances other than the whole "be yourself" platitude. I just don't want to stuck in a bouse or multicultural frat.

if you've read to the end then thanks, sorry for the cringe.

I am eventually planning to go back to do a second bachelor’s when I am 28 because I want to change career fields. And I regret not joining a frat my first time around and wasn’t very social. So I want to join one this time round. Is 28 too old to join a frat? How worried should I have to be judged for being an older man in a frat? I feel like I will have less experience than a lot of my younger brothers when it comes to social interactions. I have definitely learned a lot over the years after college on how to socialize better. Is it worth the risk for me to try join a frat at 28? My friends are telling me to give up the dream, but a part of me doesn’t want to. I feel like I’m just coping and being unrealistic, but am not 100% sure.

ETA: The uni I am looking into for a second bachelor’s is UCF. So ideally I’d join a frat there.

State Uni 50k+

Basically the title. But context, the PM told me to come in 15 mins early before education and told me I had to be dropped because of etiquette issues, the execs got a complaint from a sorority girl that I said something about them (I was reading Yik Yak posts about them and one of them overheard it) and he said there were other times I didn’t have a filter. The execs voted to drop me and they said they liked me as a person and I shouldn’t take it personally. He put it in a way that they had to drop me but they didn’t want to.

The PM offered and encouraged to stay in Greek life and look into other frats and he said he would put in a word with two of them. (they’re still offering bids because they couldn’t get enough pledges during rush) prolly not gonna accept a bid because I don’t have the best impression :/

I think the best option for me is to rerush in the spring and look at other frats.

My question is if I should try rerushing that frat that dropped me. I am still friends with several of the pledges and I explained my situation to them and asked if they could put in a word or advocate for me. I said I fucked up and wanna do better next time and build trust by being around them maybe as friends showing I could do better.

Should I do it and is it worth it? Any advice?

Hey everyone I didn’t get a bid. I’m at a big SEC school. I rushed 10+ houses of all social tiers and sizes and got walked out of all. Some place I thought was going to go well said the brothers really loved me and had great things to say about me but due to the numbers, they can’t give more bids. I don’t really know how to feel. I’ve wanted to be part of a fraternity for a really long time but now it’s hard to not feel like a reject. I don’t really know what to do and I was told even by IFC that I will get a bid. I want to rush next spring but I don’t know if that’s a good idea just because I don’t want a repeat. I’m a freshman right now. Sorry if something similar has been posted before. Just looking for advice.

I go to asu and I’ve been banned on insta for years and get banned whenever I make a new account just need to know if it actually effects if I get a bid or not

I have not stopped getting that question in my interviews

Hey y’all, I’m a transfer student at Clarkson University (I know, not an SEC or Big 10 school, just a small university in the Adirondacks). I’m making this post because I want to rush a fraternity as someone with ADHD. I want to know how rush was like for anyone who is neurodivergent because I feel it’s very easy for a guy with adhd like me to come off as a weirdo during rush, which I would know from experience. Some advice about rushing as a neurodivergent guy would be much appreciated before I rush again in the spring.

Edit: from what I can tell from the responses, it can be considered weird to actually talk about having adhd during rush, so I’ll make sure to avoid that. I’d also like to mention that when I made this post, I was mostly trying to gauge how other people with adhd or any other neurological condition approached rush because from my experience, even with the number one rule being to be yourself during rush, it’s not easy to always be the best version of yourself during rush.

Rushing at OSU this upcoming year and the problem is I love my feminine surfsides and sun cruisers because they go down like water. But I know pledging is gonna be hell if I can’t stomach some beer. What are some solid beers I can try over the rest of my summer before college that could hook me on it in general.

Tl;dr: rush has been ass

What's up everyone, honestly this post probably makes me a squid but f it.

I'm a Freshman at UF, wanted to rush a fraternity. There's a ton of chapters here so I was sure I'd find my place.

Did all the pre-rush stuff, went to several places a couple times. Felt great, many brothers asked for insta (unprompted), really had some great convos.

First night of rush, start off at probably the top house. Get walked out after 15 min inside, not surprised. Liked a lot of the brothers I met at prerush but convos this time were going nowhere. Very competitive process so cool dudes were getting walked left and right to keep the line moving. Was not nearly the first, wouldn't be the last.

I then go to the neighboring house. Smaller, middle of the pack (not that I care about tiers i liked them more than the top house). Was at prerush several times, talked to pres, philanthropy chair, invited to a brother's apt two times to post game. Am their for about an hour, only talk to a few dudes that were the only ones I hadn't talked too. Conversation stalls, soon I get walked out again because "brothers didn't feel enough of a connection".

Go to another house, really clicked with a lot of the brothers and a lot of the dudes that got bidded on the first day and accepted. Became my top choice, I GENUINELY felt at home there. Got invited back the next day, had more good convos for about an hour. Got walked and told their "bid process is unanimous and we dont think you are a good fit."

Still on the 2nd of 4 days, I went to my second choice. I had been to two prerush events their where I talked to a ton of brothers. Same pattern. Their for an hour or so, had really good convos with some guys, felt pretty at home there too. Got taken to the back, honestly though I may get a bid. Going downstairs and seeing the exit sign I knew I was getting walked again. Claimed they genuinely like me but "we've given out a lot of bids already" Last hour or so I spent at another house I liked a little during pre rush. Had some good convos and didn't get walked so this may be my last chance.

I went into this with an open mind. I feel dejected though, I'm not one to take these things personally but it's been a bit hard to hold it together because of the hit to my self esteem. I know I have 2 days but the next two are invite only and I only have maybe 2 more houses I haven't been too that I know well enough to invite me. I met a lot of brothers at both and liked them but don't really feel at home at them like I did at a couple other places.

Yes I tried rushing the absolute bottom houses, but it is not a good fit for me at all. Dudes are nice but weird in a bad way (you know what I mean). Not saying I'm above being in them or anything it's just trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.

I'm a little nerdy (econ-math double major) and chubby, I'm not gonna lie about it, but I go to the gym, have hobbies, am ambitious, tall, referee semi-pro soccer as my job, take care of myself. Yes I showered, put on a good shirt and pants. Yes I got a good haircut. Yes I asked about the chapter itself, when I was asked why I should be bidded I gave genuine answers about wanting to be involved in the chapter and that I'd give back. Yes I made an effort to go up to and talk to brothers, find interesting things about them or something we had in common.

Yes I handled every walkout well even if it stung. I thanked them for saving me time, told them I understand it's part of the process, shook their hand, and wished them good luck for rush.

I put my best foot forward.

Sorry for the long ass post. Clown me if you want but I needed to vent and get some advice. Should I re-rush in the spring if no one wants me in the end, or is something about me just contrary to the values of fraternities?

 I’m a freshman at NCSU that was considering rushing this fall, but after bringing it up to my gf, she reacted much worse than I thought she would. I received a bid, but I put off rushing partially because of my schedule and partially because of her. Prior to college, I was totally against joining a frat, but I got invited to a few events with a smaller frat and I really vibed with the guys there. 
 I was seriously considering it for the fall and I had a conversation with her about it, but she totally rejected the idea, no matter what I said about it. She said that it wasn’t me and that she didn’t want me in that type of environment. I understand where she’s coming from, but I don’t think that it would be as bad as she’s making it seem. If I came across anything that I didn’t like, I would drop. She is also worried that I may get hurt from hazing or be forced into pledging.
 I think that rushing would be a fun experience and it would connect me with brothers that have the same major as me (engineering). I ultimately want to join to be able to party here and there, have some buddies that I can count on, and make connections for after graduation.

I’m a senior in high school right now planning on rushing pike or sae (at Binghamton) but I was curious if height can hinder my chances on getting a bid/decent pledge job because im 5’7 so I was thinking about wearing timbs and stuffing socks/platforms under my feet to squeeze ~3 inches of height. Do I have a chance? (I bench 255 also if that helps).
This is not a joke and I am genuinely unsure

I’m trying to join an academic Latino frat in public state school. So far, the experience hasn’t been fun. The initiation process is basically simulating a corporate environment where we do presentations. We’re given formats to follow and information to memorize. There’s 15 positions to be filled up for our group but only 3 of us actually stayed so we each take like 5 positions. On top of that, the two guys I’m working with both aren’t as reliable. One is a really young dude so I don’t expect him to be as reliable but at least he tries. The other dude is a senior who is not pulling his weight. This dude asked me how to tie his necktie the literal hour before the presentation. They both showed up not knowing how to tie their shit but I googled how so I did it for them. We ended up having to stay and recite the passages until we had it memorized because they didn’t take the time to do so.

Anyways, I now have a lot of shit to do on my plate. On top of studying for midterms I have to interview an active, make a new set of rules, get my 2 brothers to study or even just bother to mention that they haven’t been studying, come up with a proposal for community service, and get ready to be shit on again for the next meeting cuz I know my brothers aren’t gonna be on top of their game.

I care a lot about my academics because I used to be homeless. That’s why I find joining an academic frat so appealing but it doesn’t seem like academics are an actual priority here… If only there was a frat where the initiation process is helping each other get perfect scores in every test lmao

I was wondering if it was possible? I go to a really small school where the bar scene is pretty prominent. I wanted to meet some new people and am new in town. Would it be even worth it at this age? I’m going to school in Nevada at UNR.

I'm an incoming sophomore thinking about rushing at my university (Ohio State) next semester but there's one problem: My high school bully is a member of a fraternity I'm considering rushing. I asked my older brother, who was in a frat, about advice on rushing because I am an introverted kid wanting to make more friends and he told me I should rush that fraternity and not consider anybody else. I told him about the bully but he said to face it and now that we're adults he's not likely to be immature but I'm not so sure. I don't want to relive that trauma anymore but also I don't want to seem like a pussy. I don't have any friends in fraternities and don't know much about them. What do you guys think?

I’m British, wanting to go to university in America after A levels, I would definitely be interested in joining a frat because of the friends and networking but is it possible if I’m not American?

Looking to restart my life in school and live what I missed out on. I don’t know if I am too old.

Anyone know any news about sigma chi at Penn state if they are going to be doing a rush in the spring and also if I should rush there? I really wanted to in the fall but I didn’t know if that had a PC or anything just trying to open my options in tha spring because I didn’t rush in the fall.

Hey everyone, I am an international indian student planning to rush my freshman year this fall at a big school at least 20K+ undergrads. Not committed to a university yet but ASU/USC types. That said I am jacked and I have good social skills, host massive parties back home with at least 50-100 girls showing up every time and 3K followers on the gram. I don't think social skills will be an issue, but all the videos of frats I have seen especially top houses on social media (fetii etc) all are majority white or asian. Barely any other ethnicities. dont know if ive ever seen an Indian. How do i mitigate my race from being an issue (if it is). I am pretty accustomed to American culture and speak english fluently without an accent too.

It’s gonna be like 1-5 minutes long, probably gonna be like joke questions, probably gonna have to fuck a pillow. This is for SCU

A good friend of mine is in a fraternity, and I would occasionally go down and visit him at his school on weekends and party. Eventually, I ended up wanting to go to that school, and he extended the offer for me to live in his house and pay rent instead of living in a dorm. I would save a lot of money on school this way, and since I am not financially well-off and am paying for school out of pocket, this was going to save me thousands of dollars. At the time, it sounded perfect to me.

I ended up loving the fraternity and all of the guys when I moved in. It definitely has not been a traditional freshman year experience, but I am having fun. I started pledging about a week ago, and now they are telling me that I am not allowed to sleep in my room for the remainder of the process. My only options are to sleep on the couches at any of the houses they own or with one of my PBS. It has only been one week, and I am not exactly sure how long my process is. I have heard that it could be about seven more weeks.

I pay rent, utilities, and everything else, so this is where I am starting to feel conflicted. The process itself is not an issue for me. I have no problem with anything that has happened so far. There has been a lot of hard PT, running errands, cleaning, getting yelled at, lineups, and some other things, but all of that was pretty much expected. Traditional frat stuff...

What I am struggling with is the sleeping situation. I love all of the guys, including my PBs and the brothers in the fraternity, but am I crazy for thinking that what they are asking me to do is kind of crazy? I understand that pledging comes with restrictions and sacrifices, but I did not expect to be paying rent and utilities while also being told that I cannot sleep in the room I am paying for. I would also like to clarify i'm the only one of my pc who has to do this. Other Guys have done what I have before i'm not exactly sure if it's right thing for me or what to do.

m not gonna mention the school name but it's a school on the east coast with like 20-30k kids.

Hey, so I recently transferred to a school as a junior after finishing my AA at a community college. I rushed earlier this fall, but due to personal circumstances and lack of time, I was only able to rush two frats.

I immediately vibed with one of them. I can't get into all the details, but I had some real advantages there because of people I knew, and I connected well with a lot of the brothers. The whole frat's vibe genuinely matched my personality and situation. I got invited to multiple parties, but unfortunately didn't get a bid.

I did get a bid from the second frat and decided to pledge, but I'm not 100% confident in that choice. The brothers are nice, but I don't think I fit perfectly with this frat, and it's not the strongest one.

So now I'm wondering if I should drop and try rushing the first frat again and potentially other frat that might fit me better (although I honestly think only the first frat is a good fit for me). A couple concerns: first, if they didn't give me a bid initially, it might be awkward to try again next semester. Second, I'd be starting my second semester of junior year by then, which might just be too late to rush.

I don't know what to do. I'm not fully satisfied with the frat I'm pledging now, but it's better than nothing, and I feel like I'm missing out on the other one.

Hey all. I go to Western Michigan University and I am rushing as a sophomore. Our IFC is holding the first formal rush event tonight it’s a cookout on campus where all the houses will be there. I’ve got my outfit picked out, gotten into a good mindset on how to engage in conversation and stuff, but I’m nervous. I don’t know what advice I’m exactly looking for but if anyone has any advice to offer me to I guess quell my nerves and optimize my mindset before going in I would appreciate it.

i like all the guys a lot in the chapter but the low gpa compared to the other chapters scares me.

is it valid to ask for more study hours during pledging without being a square or should I just avoid it?