3 days ago, my gf spent the night and hung around my house while I went to work. At around 11A she put some chicken nuggets in my oven and went outside to smoke and accidentally locked herself out.
This put her into a panic because she knew the oven was on and I was easily 45 minutes away with a spare key. Her answer to this problem was to smash my front door window and unlock the door.
My new neighbors witnessed this event and called the police citing a potential domestic violence situation. The police show up and she greets them at the door, she explains the situation but the police would still like to go inside and check around. She says okay, and lets them in.
5 minutes later the police are asking her to call me home for some questions, she calls me and without explaining the situation tells me that police are at my house asking for me, so I rush home only to be put in handcuffs and read my rights.
Turns out, the police found my pipe on my desk and started rummaging through my stuff to find about 2 grams of marijuana and 3.5 grams of mushrooms.
I was so confused. My mom came and bailed me out the next morning and I have a court date in a month. My GF absolutely in shambles over the whole situation she keeps calling me to apologize but I really don’t want to talk to her right now. She says there was no avoiding the situation that I shouldn’t have my stuff out like that. (Can’t argue that last bit)
I’m down a window, 3.5k in bond and whatever else will come of this.
We’ve been together 3 years and it always seems like this girl is causing me some sort of grief. Is this something to end it over?

In-N-Out because I can. My girlfriend (28F) and I (27M) have been together for just over 7 years. We moved in together just over 2 years ago and 99% of our time spent together in a communal space has been great. Hardly any complaints from my end except for this.

We just recently moved to a new, more expensive city and that has come with its own set of issues. Luckily I had the foresight to prepare financially and set myself up to go a few months without pay as I did not have a job lined up (service industry). My partner is college educated and brings home roughly $45,000/year though I think she may be underselling her income for protection.

We do split the majority of the bills such as rent, electricity, wifi - 50/50.

The move thus far has been successful and she was able to help split the moving costs despite having nearly nothing saved for it as it was beginning.

The last 2 years I have tried really hard to get her on board with setting a more strict budget for us both. We had the same conversation tonight and it led the same place it always does - nowhere. I pay for 99% of the things we do whether it be: eating out, hitting up a local bar, going to a show + getting drinks, Ubers on the way home, etc. It’s really eating at me because I’m watching my savings dwindle while she continues to spend her money recklessly on: doordash food / coffee orders, knick knacks, shopping sprees, etc. I get attitude just for asking for $50 to split the internet bill.

When I bring up the topic of budgeting, walls immediately go up. She gets defensive and talks to me like I’m being crazy. Saying “I guess I always just expected the man to take care of me” and “I dont want to budget, I want to live my life the way I want to” and don’t get me wrong, am I pleased with myself for being 27 with no college degree and still working service industry jobs? Absolutely not. I kick myself daily for putting off college and not obtaining a degree when it was easier but here we are.

I love this girl, I really do. She’s funny, smart, beautiful, down to earth, great sense of humor. She’s all the things that any of us would look for in a partner. Her family is great. Oddly enough, her dad is one of the most financially responsible people I have ever met. But somehow that knowledge was not translated down to her.

I find myself reaching my wits end with all the push back and unwillingness to work with me. I asked tonight if we could please sit down and build out an excel file showing monthly take home, bills, etc and to structure out a savings plan that would work for the both of us and the answer was no.

I guess the reason I’m posting here is to figure out if im being crazy? Do I need to try harder and submit to “the working man provider” role? Is there a way for me to approach this in a better way that she understands? I don’t want to leave this girl, but her being okay with just living paycheck to paycheck while also expecting me to pay for all the fun is really taking its toll.

Regardless, I appreciate your ears, eyes and feedback. Being able to air out my thoughts in this space comes with a relief of its own. Sweet dreams sweet princes..

A protien shake, a Nature Valley bar, and a pumpkin flavored oatmeal cookie because spooky season is on it way. Happy Halloween boys.

We met in college in 2018. We dated for a couple months, and then she graduated a year before me and moved back in with her parents in Sacramento. We stayed in contact, though.

Then one night, at about 3 in the morning, she showed up on my doorstep with everything she could carry and asked if she could stay. Things at home with her parents had gotten bad, and she needed somewhere safe to go. So I let her in.

She's been by my side ever since. More than eight years.

It hasn't all been happy. Not even close. We've struggled hard together, but we celebrated our victories even harder. We've lost friends, family, and people we loved. It feels like death has surrounded us for most of our adult lives. We've fought with friends, fought with each other, struggled financially, dealt with grief, changed careers, moved, grown up, you name it, we've probably been through some version of it.

I stood by her at her most vulnerable times, when things were the hardest. When she was mean, or hurtful, I never forget how much I loved her, I never left even when I could have.

But somehow, through all of it, we always found our way back to each other. We loved each other.

My mom died in 2019. She was 57 and I was 27. I had to make the decision to take her off life support, and it absolutely destroyed me. My grandfather died three months later. My grandmother died two months after that.

I don't think I ever really recovered.

For the next six or seven years, I let grief slowly turn me into someone I didn't recognize. I became angry. I became sad. I pushed friends and family away. I could be mean, short-tempered and difficult to live with.

But I never pushed her completely away.

She stayed by my side in my hardest moment, just like i did her. She kept loving me, and I never stopped loving her back.

A few months ago, she finally told me she was thinking about leaving. I wasn't myself anymore. I wasn't the man she'd fallen in love with. I was depressed, angry, short with people and aggressive when I was hurting.

So I started therapy.

And for the first time in years, something actually started changing.

I've learned how to talk about what's going on inside my head instead of immediately turning it into anger. I've started understanding where some of that anger came from and realizing that, underneath most of it, I was just incredibly sad.

I've gotten in touch with emotions I'd spent years avoiding. I've stopped using anger as a crutch to hide everything else. And I've tried to take what I'm learning and actually use it in my relationship, to listen to her, understand her, and become the partner I should have been for all those years.

She was there for me when I was at my worst. She deserved that version of me.

And she's noticed.

For weeks she's been telling me how much better things have been. She's told me she sees how hard I'm working, that the effort is obvious, and that our relationship has genuinely gotten better.

Then she called me and told me she got her own place.

She's moving out.

She says she doesn't hate me. She says she's not leaving because she doesn't want me anymore. She says she still loves me and wants us to stay together.

In her perfect world, we live separately for a year, work on ourselves, learn how to be healthy individuals again, and eventually come back together. She'll take one of our cats, I'll keep the other and my dog, and we'll suddenly have two separate homes after spending eight years building one life.

She hopes that maybe a year from now we'll be talking about moving back in together and continuing the life we started.

And God, I want to believe that.

But there's another part of me screaming that I've learned this lesson before: people leave, and they don't come back.

She's been my entire world for eight years. I don't really have friends anymore. I don't have much family I can lean on. The only person I really have to talk to about any of this is my therapist for an hour a week.

And now I'm supposed to sit alone in the house we've shared for five years, surrounded by all the memories we built inside these walls.

I'm devastated.

Part of me wants to trust her. I want to believe that this really is just some time apart, that we're going to work on ourselves, date each other again, and eventually find our way home to one another.

But another part of me wonders if holding onto that hope means putting my heart in a box for another year and prolonging the exact grief I've been working so hard to finally deal with.

Maybe I have to somehow do both.

Maybe I can love her, hope she comes back, and still accept that she might not.

Maybe I have to grieve the life we had without deciding that my life is over.

I genuinely don't know.

Do I hold onto hope that the woman I've loved for eight years really will come back to me?

Or do I grieve this like another loss, let her go, and just hope that somehow life gets better from here?

Idk, boys. I'm fucking heartbroken.

Been going to a couple's therapist for about three months with my partner to improve our relationship after a significant argument (pro-tip: go to therapy).

During the sessions, my partner and the therapist are the ones usually talking, which is fine by me. During one session, near the end, I asked the therapist to consider a certain point of view about juggling individual/social responsibilities with regards to partners' needs, which he said no, you are fully responsible for what happened regarding missed communication, social context notwithstanding.
I asked him that in some cultures theres less of a divide between individual/social backgrounds (the therapist is a white older guy, im a millenial from an indigenous background), but he said that didn't apply here, that I was avoiding responsibility towards my partner, and that there was no obligation to social context. I told him I disagreed, and he yelled SHUT UP. My partner was a little shocked, I asked again to consider the differing responsibilities, but he talked over me and said the meeting was over.
Sometimes he shares about his past relationships and partners. We're looking to get a younger therapist.

Pho and iced coffee

For a decade I’ve been in a haze of binge drinking. What was fun at 21 is now very sad at 31.

I’ve scared away all of my childhood friends and don’t see my big family at all anymore. After learning how difficult unemployment is, I’ve set in place a bunch of rules that help me “function” at work so I don’t get fired.

I have this rare condition called Visual Snow, where there is just static across my vision 24/7. There is not cure at the moment. This really lessons my quality of life, and I feel like if I sober up I’d have to face it more head on.

I spend most mornings before work throwing up and sweating out the booze and then getting to work, only to throw up more in the work toilet.

I used to be really social, but now I essentially spend every free moment in the shower with various amounts of booze and a few joints. I used to like creative writing or sitting under tress and listening to new music. Shit is just dark and I’m not even that old.

As she’s packing what’s left of our lives I just wish someone would tell me that I don’t have to play gnome and that a human rogue is still viable..

She moved in about two months ago she likes my dog we like the same food because she eats my food in the house. Sure she buys her own but.. I’ve noticed that we favor the same food, same ethnic background and she’s two years younger than me is an art major. same music taste , and her best friend hooked up with my best friend edited ( we’ve been in the same friend group for two years. before she moved in asked her out while having a kickback at the crib she said let me know the day and time I never followed through two months to three months later she ends up moving in).so I’m thinking maybe something could happen. I could be wrong. What do boys think?

Dinner is Porridge alá girlfriend (she convinced me of this amazing stuff)

Guys, lets be real. If we compare the user flair quality AS WELL as quantity, the girls just got one on us. So i took it upon myself to think about some amazing food/masculine wordplays and think i really got some bangers (I'll show further down). Please, if you have any ideas comment them. If the mods of this sub see this, maybe u are open to add a few? Ofc only if you like them urself. But when i selected my flair, i was really disappointed with the choices and just chose the least uninteresting one for me tbh. Anywass, here's my list (+ for my favorites), feel free to add some:

Gravy Seal (+)
Cereal Killer
Big guy, bigger regrets (or stomach) (+)
Bro-tein shake
Sauce Baron
Snacc Overlord
Man vs. Fridge (Fridge is winning) (+)
Sodium Sommelier
Struggle Meal Sensei
Meal Prep Messiah (+)
Bachelor Chow Connoisseur
toxic masculinity, but make it tacos
Freezer Burn Survivor
Big Dill Energy (+)
Lord of the Wings (+)

Hope u like 'em, would love to see some added! We NEED user flair variety!!

Dinner: Jalapeño poppers stuffed with cream cheese and wrapped in bacon.

So I (24M) have a best friend (25F) of 3 years, and we have certainly been through a few things together. In the end, I consider her my sister and she considers me her brother. We aren’t actually siblings but we feel like it due to the similarities in our personalities and common interests.

She has had a boyfriend for the past year which I’ve supported this whole time, because I know she’s wanted to be loved and be happy in a romantic way. He does not validate the family adjacent relationship between her and I and thinks I have a crush on her and he also grabbed the phone and told me I’m on some shit and called me the N word (I’m white for the record).

We used to hang out 3 or so times a week when we were both single because we had nothing better to do, but now we only hang out about an hour a week, which started when I had a girlfriend for a little while as well.

Her boyfriend thinks that an hour a week is too much time for us to spend together and he has asked us to cut that down to an hour every 2 weeks which seems incredibly arbitrary. She’s also upset about this and feels like her best friend is being ripped away from her.

As title reads I rekindled a 25 year old relationship. We dated in college for about 2 years before it ending epically with all of my tires slashed and car egged. We’ve always been somewhat cool. Follow each other on instagram and comment “congratulations” on life milestones. She’s been divorced for awhile now and I’m just under a year being single. Randomly, she messages me and says she’s going to be in my area for work. I agree to go out to dinner and to catch up since we’re both single and why the hell not. Needless to say, we were in each others arms before dessert. It was like we never even stopped dating for all that time. I could almost instantly feel the connection and energy come back as strong as it was 25 years ago. Fast forward 3 months later and we’re saying “I love you” and planning a future together. Has anyone ever gotten back together with an ex before? It feels so right, but it’s crazy at the same time.

I honestly don't know what to think anymore.

My girlfriend (22) has cheated on me for the second time now. Both times, I forgave her because she cried, gave me a thousand excuses, and promised me it would never happen again. And both times, I believed her.

I know how stupid that probably sounds. If one of my friends told me this story, I'd probably tell him to leave her ass. But somehow, when it's my own relationship, it's not that easy.

Every time I try to think about ending things, I remember the good times and start wondering if I'm giving up too easily. Maybe I'm just scared of being alone. I honestly don't know anymore.

The worst part is that she somehow manages to turn it around on me. She tells me she wouldn't have looked for attention elsewhere if I had given her more affection and sex. Then she cries, tells me she loves me, and says I'm the one who needs to change.

And I hate that part of me actually wonders if she's right.

But how am I supposed to feel wanted by someone who slept with two other men and then tells me it's my fault? And as a man, I'm honestly embarrassed that I'm even in this position, forgiving her twice and still being afraid to lose her.

I love her, but I don't know if that's enough anymore. I don't know why I keep forgiving her, and I don't know how to finally walk away.

Am I actually part of the problem here, or have I just let her convince me that I am?

Is everything here written by AI?

Every day this sub comes on my feed. And everyday, I run the top story through a Clanker detector. 10/10 times, they’ve all been AI written.

Do you guys like that? Like…that’s the content you guys want? Fake sob stories and a random photo?

I can’t comprehend that.

Coffee and a bar because I not training more models by dumping more pictures.

I'm a trans guy who recently turned 18 and it sucks so hard. I'm just a man trapped in a woman's body and I have barely any community of queer man where I live.

I don't even know what is it like to be a man. And it sucks everything sucks. I study IT so most of people in my class are men but I'm too awkward to really talk to anyone having like three friends total. I get misgendered by my teachers my best friend stood up for me but most of the time I'm on my own but I'm so tired.

Trans healthcare sucks binder costs 60 eur. A psychiatrist appointment costs 170 eur and I need one at least. I don't live in the center so there aren't a lot of trans people or doctors. Getting hrt is a multi year process and I still live with my parents as I need to go to college and can't have a job until I finish it. My parents are both transphobic I can't even talk to my younger sister about being trans without getting yelled at.

I'm a bi man and I would kill to know a cis queer man at least one just to know I wish I had someone to guide me I wish I had a gay older brother or cousin or something I know a few queer women and a lot of non binary people, two trans guys but who I constantly fight with for the reason that I want to be the dominant one and I feel the need to compete to prove that I am a man that I won't back down from a fight.

I constantly feel the need to prove myself to my male friends too I feel even awkward texting them because my texting style is far too feminine I have to prove to them that I'm just as smart just as loud just as extroverted just as much of a man as they are.

Every single day I start hating looking in the mirror more and more and it's too late it feels too late to transition. My younger brother overtook me in height leaving me as the shortest. I'm shorter than both of my parents all my male friends at school I hate it I always dreamed of being tall I just can't be and it causes me so much pain I'll never grow. I'm 5'7 average for the country that I live in is 5'11.

I feel ashamed of my feminine hobbies. I suffer from being cold just to not wear a jacket to appear more manly to appear stronger.

I hate crying why do I cry so much? I sat on the kurb near my house and just sobbed when on taekwondo I got slammed into the ground twice instantly not even because it hurt just because I felt really humiliated and weak. I cry when I'm on my period I cry when I'm angry not even bring able to control it. Men shouldn't cry as much.

I want to date but I'm scared none of straight women would even look my way just because I don't pass. One of my best friends (not the one who I mentioned earlier) said she wouldn't want to date a trans man and it hurt far far more than I let on even though I don't even like her that way

I just don't know what to do. I just wanted to be born a cis man grow to overtake my parents in height, go to rock concerts start a band get a girlfriend or a boyfriend and not have to deal with any of this

I absolutely hate having to make this post but if something doesn’t change soon I’m unironically going to become a 40 yr old virgin I’d never thought I’d become.

I just want to lay out how conscious I am that my own actions have led me to this point. I don’t blame women nor have ever felt resentment towards them (or anyone really) because as a kid I’ve always loved philosophy and have applied many learnings of it to my life, specifically of stoicism. For me accountability has always been important and the lack of it in recent years in society has been detrimental.

On to things that worked against me:
I’m not ugly, but I am physically unappealing if that makes sense. If I had to rate myself it’d be between 2 and 3/10.
I hate small talk (introvert) and even when I try to force it a lot of times I just repeat what people say back to them, react with simple words like oh really and wow, force a laugh when people try to say something funny and just never know what to say or ask back on the spot, leaving bad impressions of me overall.
I’ve been poor most of my life (for too many reasons to list here) but I just recently got a 50k a year job so I’m looking to turn my finances around.
I live with my dad at the moment. He’s super depressed all the time (very long story) and him talking to me and repeating the same stories helps him a lot. The time I didn’t hang out with him for months he went on a downward spiral mentally and was close to becoming an alcoholic to cope with his issues. Regular therapy didn’t help him and instead made him feel more hopeless.
Outside of coworkers and waitresses I haven’t spoken to a woman in like 20 years (since HS?)

On to things that help me:
Everyone who has connected with me past surface level conversations have appreciated my advice and perspective on things.
The female coworkers that I’ve spoken to over the last 20 years, past surface level conversations, have told me they wanted to date me. All with varied range of attractiveness and ages (lowest 20 yr old girl back in my 20s, highest 48 also in my 20s). But they’ve always had a bf or husband, and I’ve never wanted to mess with a relationship. They’ve all mentioned some type of frustration with their partner and how I’m more patient, attentive, etc than their partner.

Quite honestly I’m not sure why I wrote all this down. I guess it’s a form of self therapy? I already know what I need to do to get a gf. I guess I’m curious what kind of negative reaction I’d get online.

Or maybe I’m curious what older men could tell me for advice. I want a gf badly but the philosophy I follow make it hard for me to get angry at myself if I already have a solution (though it’s going to take more work to get to a level that I can attract a decent girl).

Sorry if my writing isn’t good, just got out of a 12 hr shift.

To expand;

As a man, what defines you as a man? When you think of a ‘man’ what comes to mind? I am a trans man (27) all though I do not define myself as a trans man often, and I have been socially transitioning since 14/15. I pass, it’s not something I enjoy bringing up at all but I think pushing it down is only harming me.

I can’t see myself as I want too without a penis, I know who I am. Prior to knowing the difference in genitals (maybe up until age 5/6) I was a little boy, that how I felt and knew. But I am having a hard time to see whatever may define a man besides that…
Good intentions, keeps promises, someone to look up to, a leader… they feel very generalized and basic to me. It’s so hard to see myself a man. Please don’t comment bs if you have nothing nice to say, I’m sure there’s people who aren’t okay with it but this is my life and truth. So please, I’m open to discussion I know my physical anatomy below the hips is not a penis, but how do I not hate myself and envy others for it if that’s what makes a man?

So if anyone has any insight or perspectives on this I would love to hear. Thanks yall

Food: cheesesteak & fries

Baked banana bread 🍞

I started watching porn at age 15 till 25 so roughly 10 years. I think I suffer from porn induced erectile dysfunction. I’ve recently decided to stop as it’s not useful anymore & I’ve gotten down to the root of it but it’s hard. I went 70 days abstaining and my meat was genuinely looking and feeling stronger then I relapsed & now it’s just meh. Has anyone gone through this and how long did it take to fully recover?

Peanuts and two cornbread muffles with some good ole water.

As title says. My girlfriend (f23) of 2 and half years left me (m23) about a month ago. The worst part isn’t that she almost immediately got with someone else it’s that she said she wasn’t interested in relationships in general. That and the fact we resigned our lease 3 months ago. I’ve been thinking of exit strategies but I work a Walmart man I make maybe $1,800 a month. It’s just so hard. I had imagined a life with her, I never actually wanted to marry anyone. I know I’m young. I know I have to dust myself off and keep going it’s just the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

I’ve had relationships end before. Usually I can get it over it in a few days but this is just excruciating. I feel alone and afraid of the future. Now I’m worried that in my future relationships any given day they’ll just up and leave.

Mostly I’m not sure what to do now. I’ve got a more than half a year to get a car, find a place that I can afford and try to move on. Any advice on how to handle the situation would be appreciated.

(Update) So tomorrow I’m going to be moving into my buddy’s house for a while. I’m super grateful for him being so generous and especially on such short notice. I didn’t anticipate a solution to my main problem coming in the same day, needless to say I am thankful. I wanted to thank everyone who provided me with support and guidance.

I am going to do my best to improve my life. Gonna get a car in the next 4 months and after that hopefully find a better job so I can afford my own place comfortably. Sometime during all of this I’m going to do my best to get a higher education. I’ve a few ideas on what but I know that’s what I want to do.

Again thank you everyone. You are all amazing and I wish you all the best.

Eggs and fries

My (27M) ex (23F) left me after 3 years. Really thought I would marry this woman. We had an issue where I'd get jealous over some stuff but it was nothing extreme. I would make some stupid comments, but never controlled her actions or anything. We had around 4 small fights over the last 2 years and that was all it took for her. She wasn't perfect either but I still loved her for her.

She left over something that was so fixable and we could have worked on together. She gave up so easily on us after sharing so many amazing moments together. She felt she had to sacrifice herself to reassure me and make me feel better. How is that sacrifice?? I was willing to move for her graduate program and quit my job THAT'S sacrifice.

After she dumped me we were still intimate, hung out and said I love you. She PROMISED multiple times we would try again. ASSURED me we would give it another shot together. She led me on for a month while still promising me. She finally came out last week and said she's fully done. She even left stuff at my house the last time I saw her because she "knew she'd be back".

I'm so angry at her for giving up on us. I'm so angry she led me on for a month. Was it really that much to overcome for her and not work this out? I've seen my friends go through MUCH harder times and they're doing amazing now. I also have so much regret because I know my anxiety ruined this relationship. I wish I could just be normal and not overthink in my relationships. I fucked up by being even a little bit jealous.

I don't even recognize this woman anymore. How is this the same person I fell in love with? Why was I not enough to commit to?

I feel I'll never move on from her. This is my 2nd long term relationship and this girl seriously was amazing. I truly don't believe I'll ever find someone as amazing as her.

Wendy’s -Dave’s Double with no ketchup, fries with ketchup on the side.

Some background: I’ve had a rough year. I’ve been dealing with chronic fatigue since late December, I currently have a broken foot, and last week I got a pretty nasty cold that has settled in my lungs and it’s the month of the year where everything is due for my business line. I’ve burned through so much vacation because I’m tired. Recently, I got on some new medication that has really been helping with the tiredness and I have been feeling really hopeful, but this cold has put a damper on things.

I’m behind at work. They’ve been pretty good about it because they know I’m sick and otherwise I’ve always been a good employee. It’s been hard having to scramble, though, as I’ve never really been the procrastinating type. I’ve still been hitting my deadlines - barely - and I’m stressing about my job a lot. I’m enough of a worrier to be afraid I could lose it.

I thought I was getting caught up and then today one of our admins asked me where my portion of some documents were. I told her I hadn’t started them yet but would have them by EOD Thursday. She replied that I was supposed to have finished them last Friday, which was news to me. My project manager responded to the email, apologized to the admin, and said me being this late was ‘utterly unacceptable’ and copied several people on it. I’m not the only one who has portions of this document due and all of us thought it was due Thursday. I’ve always gotten along okay with the PM, but the fact that she was so quick to assume I was in the wrong and threw me under the bus without even talking to me first isn’t sitting well. I’m debating whether to say anything to her or not. Right now I’m more hurt than pissed.

I guess I’m just feeling low. Thanks for listening, boys.

Update: She messaged me the next day, said she’d talked to some other people and there had “clearly been some miscommunication”. Maybe not the best or most satisfying outcome but I’m off the hook. At this point I’ll take it. Thanks for all the kind words, boys, and next time I’ll be sure to post a pic that shows more actual food.

Regular pizza with olives, onions and green pepper.

29M. Blocked 3 of my friends from our 6-person friend group, and honestly, I don't want anything to do with them anymore. But now I'm wondering if I went too far. I've known these guys since 8th grade, so like around 16 years. And when we were kids, we were actually really close and had a lot of fun together. I genuinely loved hanging out with them and felt completely comfortable around them.

After we graduated senior high, we all went our separate ways for college. But when we finished, we started hanging out again, but things just felt different.

During college, I had become a lot quieter because of depression and social anxiety issues, while they seemed to become much more extroverted. I started feeling like I didn't really fit in anymore. They'd often talk over me when I'm generally a quiet person who's not very good at coming up with quick comebacks. Because of that, I often felt like I was the easy target of the group... the guy everyone could make fun of because they knew I wouldn't have much to say back.

They also smoke and drink a lot, while I do neither. A lot of their conversations are about women, making money, etc., and honestly, I just don't find most of that stuff interesting. I'd still hang out with them, though, mostly because they were basically the only friends I had. So even though I often felt uncomfortable around them, I kept going because I basically just wanted company.

For about 7 years after college, we'd usually hang out on Friday nights. There were little things over the years that made me feel like I wasn't really that important to them. Like for example, in all those years, they only remembered my birthday once and wished me for it on our WhatsApp group. Meanwhile, we'd buy cakes for each other, surprise each other, on everybody else's, etc. And tbh I never really held that against them because I'm not great at remembering birthdays either, and usually only remember when someone else reminds me. So I figured they were probably just forgetful.

There was also one time they invited me over to hang out, and I didn't realize until I got there that it was basically a drinking session. I don't drink, but I felt awkward saying I didn't want to be there and leaving, so I stayed anyway.

That night, some of them got really drunk and started acting very weird. I remember going home thinking that I probably needed to start keeping my distance from them.

Then about 3 years ago, is when things really started changing. I bought an old Dodge Challenger with money I'd saved up. I was really proud of it and genuinely loved the car. And what's interesting is that after I bought it, these guys suddenly started calling me and asking me to hang out a LOT more.

Before the car, they didn't really call me every week. They didn't even know I'd bought it until about a month later, when I surprised them with it. After that, they started asking me to hang out almost every week.

I'm not going to lie, they complimented the car a lot and I know they thought it was cool. But at the same time, I started feeling a lot of jealousy from two of them.

They'd constantly make jokes about my car, how much I spent on it, how much I cared about it, how much money I put into maintaining it, etc.

I usually just went along with it because they're my friends and friends joke around with each other. But I also started noticing that I was becoming the punching bag more and more.

One of those two friends also noticed that I was uncomfortable whenever he made homosexual jokes or acted gay toward me. Instead of stopping, he kept doing it and started making jokes about me and him being in some kind of gay relationship.

Again, I just went along with it. I'd laugh, joke back when I could, and try not to make things awkward, even though I was genuinely uncomfortable.

Eventually, the jokes about me and my car became more and more nonsense and outrageous. The jealousy was so goddamn apparent.

One Friday night, one of them said it would be hilarious to make obscene AI pictures of me. I just laughed along because I thought it would just be a joke and these guys are clowns often anyway. Then the other guy encouraged him and even suggested making a bunch of them and creating a dedicated Insta account for it.

At that point I was REALLY uncomfortable. But once again, I didn't say anything. I just fake laughed and said "Hey, cybercrime laws in this country are no joke". And of course they didn't bother because I was the one saying it.

Then he actually made them.

He used ChatGPT to create obscene pictures of me and showed them to everyone on his phone. Everyone laughed while I was sitting there feeling absolutely disgusted.

Later that night, after everyone went home, I saw that he had posted the pictures in our WhatsApp group too.

The guy who encouraged him commented on them with a funny GIF, and another friend reacted to them with a laughing emoji.

That was it for me. I blocked all three of them. WhatsApp, social media, calls, everything. I didn't explain myself. I didn't confront them. I didn't send them a message telling them why I was blocking them. I just did it. And honestly, I don't feel like I have anything to say to them. They can figure out for themselves what they did wrong. At this point, I genuinely don't care if they apologize. But now I'm wondering if I overreacted.

I mean these are people I've known since I was a kid. We have about 16 years of history together, and despite everything, I obviously have a lot of good memories with them. At the same time, I feel like I've tolerated way too much over the years simply because they were the only friends I really had.

So I'm wondering what you guys think. Did I overreact by blocking them without saying anything? Should I unblock them and apologize for blocking them? Or is it completely reasonable for me to just leave things as they are and move on? I honestly don't want to have anything to do with those 3 anymore, but part of me still feels guilty because of how long we've known each other. And a part of me, really lonely now.

All I do now on Friday nights is just sit in my car by myself, and try out a takeaway from a new restaurant everytime.

Context: I'm a M18, and ever since I was around 13 or 14, I've known that I liked both boys and girls. I've always liked the idea of being with a girl long-term, having kids, and building a future together. At the same time, I've also always wanted to experience a relationship with a boy. I don't really know how to put that feeling into words, but I don't mean just hooking up. I mean an actual relationship.

I've been watching a lot of movies lately, like Young Hearts and Heartstone, and they've made me realize how much I've always wanted a relationship like that. Something innocent, where it's just two boys who can be vulnerable with each other and genuinely care about one another, without feeling like they have to fit into the stereotypical masculine image that everyone around me seems to have.

I guess I also have a certain type when it comes to boys. I'm not really attracted to the more stereotypical image of a gay guy who's flashy, wears makeup, or paints his nails. I'm more attracted to guys who are DL, chill, and have a similar vibe to me. I don't mean that there's anything wrong with being that way, because I'm not exactly the stereotypical gay guy myself. I just want someone I can relate to, someone who feels similar to me in the way they carry themselves and see the world.

I've had three girlfriends throughout high school and one in middle school, but none of those relationships ever gave me the same feeling I get when I see a good-looking guy I know I probably have no chance with. It's that feeling of getting butterflies just from seeing him or thinking about what it would be like to be with him. I don't think I've ever really experienced that same feeling with a girl.

Honestly, I don't even know exactly what kind of advice I'm looking for. I think I just want to know if anyone else has ever felt the same way or struggled with similar feelings. Sometimes I feel like I know what I want, but I don't really know how to make sense of it or explain it to other people.

I'm going into college soon, and honestly, I'm scared that time is passing by faster than I can even comprehend. I feel like I'm wasting so many opportunities by not putting myself out there, whether that's asking a guy if he likes me, figuring out if someone is just a friend or could be something more, or simply allowing myself to experience the kind of relationship I've always wanted.

For so many years, I've kept these feelings to myself, and now that I'm finally being honest with myself and accepting that, yes, I'm bi, I feel this weird mix of relief, excitement, and sadness. Part of me is happy that I'm finally allowing myself to explore this side of who I am, but another part of me feels almost depressed thinking about all the time I've spent not letting myself experience it.

I know I'm only 18, and I know I have my whole life ahead of me, but that doesn't stop me from feeling like I've missed out on something important. I don't want to keep hiding from these feelings or reach another few years down the line wishing I'd been braver when I had the chance. I just want to experience what it's like to genuinely like a boy, have him like me back, and be able to share something real with someone without feeling like I have to hide a part of myself.

I guess I'm scared of letting more time pass without ever knowing what that part of my life could look like. And now that I've finally started accepting myself, I don't really know how to move forward or how to stop feeling like I'm already falling behind.

(edit)
The restaurant is ichiran!! It's a very popular ramen chain in Japan but expensive compared to the traditional ramen shops you can find locally.

(edit 2)
Someone mentioned the relationship being a "bro" type relationship and having someone to have sleepovers with and game and the occasionaly flirt. I totally resonate with that and is like exactly what I'm talking about from a relationship standpoint.

(edit 3)
Now coming to think of it maybe I just want a bestfriend because Ive never really enjoyed big friend groups and having a really good friend that I can talk to everyday or just have fun with anytime does fit my description for a guy I like but idk I'm just rambling.

Im an average guy and I have an average life. I'm 32. I work 40 hours a week. I hang with my buddies a couple times a month maybe. I have a few hobbies that keep me busy. I have a lot to be grateful for.

That said, I feel like there are a few things that are tough. And I'm not just talking about loneliness. Don’t get me wrong, in the quiet moments when I’m laying in an empty bed, I miss the feeling of holding someone and being held, but right now I'm just talking about not having a division of labor or someone else to just help out. I work full time and try to maintain a good gym routine and stuff. And on top of that, I have to do the cooking and the cleaning and the laundry and the grocery shopping and the social calendaring and take care of my own finances and nutrition and literally anything else I want to get done! Its tough to not feel burned out and just not care anymore and just let everything pile up. What do you guys do help keep sane?

Also, dinner is a crappy salad from the grocery store cuz I didnt have time to cook.

Caprese Salad and a glass of cheap red wine

My (38M) soon to be ex-wife (36F) walked out a few months ago and left me with three kids while I was sick.

I had 3 kiddos from a previous marriage when we met that I have 50/50 custody of. After we got married she got pregnant with boy #4 (I am convinced she had stopped taking her birth control) because we had agreed to wait a few years before trying)

Things had been tough. She was depressed and bitter ever since COVID. Her social life crashed and never recovered. So she was always passive aggressive. Kids were always in time out by the time I got home. Felt like I was walking on egg shells the entire time.

She would ignore me, avoid me if I walked into a room, slammed doors, etc. but refused to ever talk about what was bothering her. Anytime I would try to bring things up that she was doing she would threaten to leave or turn things back around on me. Then later she would come to me and acknowledge that she "was acting like a bitch and I didnt deserve that."

We had sex only a few times a month. Her personal hygiene was very poor so there was always a strong odor down there if you know what I mean, and she had gained a HUGE amount of weight when she started getting depressed.

The beginning of the end was when she got physically violent with me in front of the kids last year, and the relationship died for me on that day. It was like someone pulled the blinders off and I could see her for what she really was. After that I had zero physical attraction to her anymore. I tried to just tread water while she was going through whatever it is she was going through.

Things however did not improve, and it like she would immediately attack me after she would see her therapist. It was almost as if I was the center of all of her issues that they would discuss.

She totaled my car in late May (Within hours of having a dealership complete a bunch of work to it). She also had another major accident in her car in October so I rode a motorcycle for 3 months in winter so she could drive my car while hers was being repaired. She had had 5 accidents over the past two years. Not sure what the deal is with that. But when the last one happened it was a mile from our house and I stayed with her at the ER until 3am and took care of her over the following days.

She was okay aside from some scratches and bumps, and despite all the work and time I had poured into restoring that old Lexus, it was replaceable, but she wasn't.

A few weeks after she totaled my car, we all went to her Moms to go swimming. It was my first time to be out in the sun for the summer since I still work (She has summers off as a teacher) and we were there for most of the day. By the time we had gotten home I was pretty sunburned and dehydrated. I lost consciousness when I got out of the car and was struggling to get myself inside.

I told her I was going to go lay down because the room was spinning and she huffed. She later came into the bedroom and slammed the door, loudly rustled around for something, then slammed the door when she left again. I had a splitting migraine at this point and when she came back to the room I said "Why are you slamming doors, I am sick and feel like shit right now."

She yelled "Oh yeah?! I have a migraine too and I am out there with YOUR kids!"

I said she was being a terrible partner because anytime she has needed me to cover for her I did it, and I didnt make her feel guilty about it either.

She coldly looked at me and said "That is it. I am moving to my Moms and we will deal with this when I get back in the country again." So she proceeded to pack her bags and leave with our youngest son, and left the older 3 from my previous marriage knowing I had no childcare and needed to work the following week.

I didnt fight her. I didnt try to stop her. I didnt grieve her. I just figured it out and took things one day at a time. She went to see her family in Spain for about 2 months and returned this past weekend.

She came over today while I was at work and started moving things out. We haven't even sat down to discuss the divorce yet or how to move forward aside from her telling me I can keep the house because it needs a lot of work and cant be sold in its current condition.

But I can tell you my life has a lot more peace in it now. I can be more present for my kids now that I am not dealing with that level of stress and drama. It will be challenging financially but I will figure it out.

I also met someone shortly after my wife moved out at a social event who has been amazing. I have had more affection and compliments over the past month or so with her than I received in my entire marriage. She has said things to me that nobody has before. Passion and intimacy is off the charts. She recently bought a dirt bike so we can go riding together. My ex did not hide that she hated my hobbies and didnt want anything to do with them. My girlfriend also jumps right in and wants to help with anything going on. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes, whatever. She is right there next to me for the fun stuff and not so fun stuff.

You know, I didnt even cry after my wife left until I came home from work to discover my girlfriend has cleaned up the entire house while I was gone. I felt overwhelmed and confused because my ex constantly complained about her household chores (We split them between ourselves and the kids) and this girl did everything, because "I just wanted to help make your life a little easier."

Now my greatest struggle is wrestling the fear of losing this new connection. I also have a lot of insecurities I am working through. She is also recovering from an abusive long term relationship. So far we have been building each other up in ways the other hasn't received before, and its been pretty amazing. But I am also worried I am going to fuck it up somehow.

Not really sure why I am here, but I needed to get this off my chest.

Leftover Noodles with a Tomato-Meat-Veggie-whateverwestillhadleft Sauce.

I'm trans and I do get along well with my guy friends but sometimes they do things, that I struggle to understand socially and it makes me feel alien and not man-enough.

I like being close to people, emotionally and physically, but it seems a lot of guys don't like that or find it strange. From what I've been told by them they just don't talk about emotional things because they're pragmatic about them.

I don't know how to think like they say they do and it makes me feel insecure. I guess I look for my girl friends in my guy friends but how do I go about feeling close to them? How do I love them like I do my girl friends without seeming strange?

My favorite Monster and Kinder pinguì after gym.

I'm 27 and I never had a girlfriend or had any type of intimacy with women, but I'm happy with my life and accomplishing my goals. Don't get me wrong, I'm straight and i love girls, but it just don't work for me, maybe i'm going to be the cool uncle that drives a fast sport car and brings gifts to your kids