Just to preface, I am just venting here and bringing it up to see if I’m tripping or not.
Day One:
I went to defensive rifle training over the weekend and I was the only woman there. Each day was 8 hours long with about 20 people that showed up per day. There were four minorities out of the entire weekend including me. All were at least 15yrs older than me and very obviously so. I look like I’m in my early 20s even thought I’m older but they were clearly in their upper 40s for context. One of the guys was particularly quiet. Barely gave the nod but he stared a lot. I introduced myself because on Day One we were the ONLY black people there. Of course I’m gonna say hi. That doesn’t mean anything at all. And listen, if you saw me you’d be 99% sure I’m a gay woman I mean it’s not hard to tell so I think most men get the picture right away. Well, if that didn’t help I also said it out loud two feet away from him while talking with another guy. I thought he heard us talking because I clocked him staring at us and hovering as I’m talking to this man. It was obvious because we were the last three cars there besides the instructors. He was just staring and hovering waiting for me to leave the range. How do I know this? He said out loud “okay time to leave”. He’s not an instructor, never been to one of those classes and nobody said we had to leave, oh and he’s not my father so idk where that came from. The guy I was talking to had a pride flag on his car and “minority rights are gun rights” so I wasn’t worried about talking to him plus the instructors were still there. He seemed to get restless and left before me. I thought nothing of it besides “why is he telling me when to leave?” We weren’t in a sundown town or anywhere dangerous.
Day Two:
Day 2 is when I noticed him speak up more. Not a lot but more than Day 1. I noticed him ask another man to switch spots with him so he could stand next to me during drills. I didn’t need help or anything so idk why he’d do that (for context, I was beating the other men at drills so I didn’t suck or have any obvious trouble an instructor couldn’t help with) I thought maybe it was the other guy’s muzzle but he kept doing it. Didn’t matter what line we got in he’d find his way behind me or next to me. I thought he was just being friendly. I noticed he thought he was saving my day multiple times offering mags when I already brought like 12 mags. Only one mag had an issue but you could clearly see I was carrying three different mags on my belt as I did every single day. So nothing new. He stared at me all of lunch and didn’t say anything. I thought that was strange and it started to make me more aware of the creepiness.
At the end of class, I was talking to a different guy and exchanging info with the different guy. While I was talking to a different guy, he awkwardly came up and interrupted and asked for my number. The way he asked told me “oh he’s asking in THAT way” not like how the two other men who have daughters my age that got my contact info (and those two other guys NEVER contacted me in a weird way) who asked in the most respectful, normal networking way. Plus, I never had convos with him that would warrant him to feel familiar enough to ask for my number. We didn’t connect on anything, no familiarity, nothing besides him telling me which mags are best. I didn’t want to embarrass the man or assume anything 100% so I figured okay maybe he’s connecting because we are the only minorities here.
Then we get to packing up our cars to leave and same as day one, he wouldn’t leave until I left. This time, I waited and he was staring at me OBVIOUSLY waiting for me to leave. I kept getting out of my car like I forgot something. I wasn’t gonna leave until he did. He finally gave up and left after staring into my car window for nearly ten minutes. He had nothing else to do at the range so he could’ve left asap. He said once again “okay time to go” like okay you can go buddy we did not show up together. I get home and he texts me “can you let me know that you got home?” K? I figured he’s maybe worried about a black female making it home from the country. Then he text me a few days later “how was your day? :)” bro what? Why are you texting me? What could he possibly want? I have male friends and I know how a guy who isn’t looking for something approaches you vs a guy who is. How do I know? I connected with a couple guys from class and their approach is completely different. They don’t lead with “how was your day?” they lead with a topic or a pic of a gun I mentioned then they leave me alone. That’s any man I’ve interacted with as friends. And to anyone who wants to claim “oh you hate men because you’re gay” no, I’m not ATTRACTED to men but I enjoy talking about hobbies and sports and just being good friends/humans.
I just felt uncomfortable with his approach. Like a guy who I didn’t interact with much thinks he can just check up on me. I don’t want to be checked up on. It’s not chivalry. Chivalry is holding open the door and being polite. Chivalry is not asking a girl you’re not dating when she got home. Don’t get it twisted. This is my first training experience and I feel like I don’t want to train anywhere near me again because I don’t want to train with him. I’m good on the staring and being told when to leave by a stranger.