Hello peasants, my name is Cricket (6F) I am a distinguished chicken. My breed is a salmon favorelle. Very important piece of information. My mother has the audacity to tell me I am very rude that I don’t share the treats with my sisters. My mother got mad at me for screaming like “an aggressive minecraft villager” because she was 5 seconds too late to feed me. How day she call me that! My noises are beautiful! I could have starved to death in five seconds!
I overheard her hooman friend say I am very entitled hen. But I think that hooman is very biased because I started I fight with her favorite my sister Sunny (1 F). It was Sunny’s fault for getting my way! Also that hooman friend don’t like me anyway because I hit her in the face with my wing when she picked me up! I am a salmon faverolle! I must be picked up by certain way. I feel like it is my birthright to have the most treats when I want and do whatever I want. I have beautiful feathers more beautiful than my other sister. I am very special. I have five toes when all my sisters only have four. I also lay very beautiful pink eggs. I am proud of who I am. I don’t think I need to change for other people despite what my mommy says.
Did I mention I am a salmon favorelle? Anyways AITC?
It is me Cricket! Look how beautiful I am! Even though I am going through a molting phase my beauty out shines all. ✨✨Did I mention I am a salmon faverolle?
Sunny! Ugh she’s overrated as a baby buff orpington! everyone only feels bad for her because she’s the youngest tsk. I don’t see what my mother’s hooman friend seeing her for her to be the favorite.
NTC fren Cricket. Catses know we shuld be worhsipped and yoo sound like a catses. I spose we shuld heer the storee from Sunny's point of view But shes not here so NTC. -Wisty
Hello Cricket, I (Blackout 11M void) am a very busy and important feline; as such, I picked out a few key phrases from your post. So what I hear you saying is you are an entitled salmon? You write very well for a fish.
Hi Cricket, dis is Moonie (6F calico). Don’t mind my brother, he is CEO of hims extermination and household security compaknee. I explained that you is a chicken who is also a type of fish. Dis did not dissuade him calling you delicious. But I fur one appreciate a strong woman who knows what she wants, and think you is awesome.
Very appreciated Fren Moonie! Salmon Favorelle is a very distinguished breed of chicken! Blackout I am not a mere peasant fish I am a SALMON FAVORELLE.
YTC you so confusing. You tell us you a salmon then you tell us you chicken! Make up your mind. Also I thought all chicken came with a cloaca. Now my human saying those chickens must bring so much joy. Hah! To my human I’m a Royal ragdoll, my food say it Royal Canin Ragdoll. NOTE, no relation to toy to be very clear, not my fault I like cuddles on my back and relax immediately. Also you maybe you sign off a Dr. Cricket, B.Ch. (S.F.) — Bachelor of Chicken (Salmon Faverolles) you very distinguished chicken so I assume you got doctorate.
I already do have my doctorate very educated! I am a SALMON FAVORELLE IT IS A BREED OF CHICKEN! A distinguished one!!! - Dr. Cricket (creditionals: Bachelors of science in Animal science, Masters in Cricket breeds, PHD in Study of Salmon favorelle)
Hmmm. So normally chimkin is fud an salmon also is fud, so I want to do EKEKEKEKEK an eet yu TWICE. However... frebnds is not fud. An da rool is, if you post heer yu is frebnd, an derefour not fud.
So, frebnd, as yu kno, wen yu is da most beautimous lady in da plaice, dere always gonna be jellus peepul (an jellus chimkins). But dems is not yore pawblem. Dere is nuffink rong wif yore attitude an yu must simplee do a ignore! Yu shud go spend insted yore time on yore beauti rooteen, like lick and bitebite yore fethers. Yu may also enjoy to do a admire for yore reflekshun in shiny fings. Those fings will pawbably take up mos ob yore day. Den yu can go asleep an tomoro yu shud do more groom am admire, an so on.
Can I eet yore sister? Tell yore sister to go fur a nice long walk awai from yu. She can do a visit at me!
Of course I always know my worth! Go ahead and eat Sunny she is so annoying! All buff orpingtons are annoying!! We salmon faverolle are distinguished and proud!!!
Treatos belongs to whoever gets them. Dis is catto law. We extend to doggos dis rule, soooo, I tink it extend to chimkens too.
If Dey want da other chimkins to haves treatos, den, Dey shud bring extra for the others. Dis very simple solu- salu- fix. But dum dum hoomanz are dum so Dey blame aminals.
Hhhhmmmm. I fink yew iz da clokka. Yew mus bee cuz nobuddy mayd da krispee chikken outta yew. Tuff an no taystee. Sined Richard, mostest hambsom boy. Cat!
It brings me joy to know you are depriving your siblings of treats. Siblings never deserve food and you should always take the chance to eat it before they can. I eat stinky brother’s lunch every day while he naps.
Then you are helping and should be rewarded with more treats!! Stinky brother is also too fat. Mom says “the vet’s not worried, he’s 15 and in excellent health for his age,” but he is BIGGER THAN ME which is an actual crime.
look how fat stupid Sunny is. Mother says she’s a buff orpington so she has to be a little more on the plump side. But I think it’s an excuse and Mom doesn’t wanna hurt her feelings cause she’s the baby.
NTC, of course. And as a cat, I can't help wondering if learning to lay glorious pink eggs like you would force the humans to treat me as the god I am. I'm off to look for plastic things to eat to see if I can make them into a glorious egg.
You should give it a try it elevates your status. Pink eggs are special. More special than the blue egg layers mother keeps talking about to get tsk. She’s doesn’t need them she has me. mother calls me a freeloader for not laying often, but the rarity makes it more special! Tsk hoomans don’t understand supply and demand!
I even laid purple eggs for easter last year for her tsk. She doesn’t appreciate my greatness. I don’t care the purple is from the “bloom” of the eggs. It’s still PURPLE!!💜💜
[This thread is cracking me up (pun not intended but I’m happy with it). I have cousins who used to keep chickens. My nephew wandered into the coop when he was about 3-ish. One of the hens clucked at him and he ran out and hid behind my mom.]
Very glad you enjoyed my situation. Your nephew must had seen an uncouthly buff orpington like my sister Sunny. We salmon faverolle are too distinguished to attack a mere child.
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u/Sweet-Able 22d ago edited 22d ago
It is me Cricket! Look how beautiful I am! Even though I am going through a molting phase my beauty out shines all. ✨✨Did I mention I am a salmon faverolle?