r/shortstories • u/OldBayJ Mod | r/ItsMeBay • Mar 29 '21
Micro Monday [OT] Micro Monday #7!
Welcome to the Micro Monday Challenge!
Hello writers! Welcome to Micro Monday! I am excited to present you all with a chance to sharpen those micro-fic skills. What is micro-fic? I’m glad you asked! Micro-fiction is generally defined as a complete story (hook, plot, conflict, and some type of resolution) written in 300 words or less. For this exercise, it needs to be at least 100 words.
However, less words doesn’t mean less of a story. The key to micro-fic is to make careful word and phrase choices so that you can paint a vivid picture for your reader. Less words means each word does more!
Each week, I’ll give you a single constraint or jumping-off point to get your minds working. It might be an image, a theme word, a sentence, or a simple writing prompt. You’re free to interpret the prompt how you like as long as you follow the post and subreddit rules. Please read the entire post before submitting. And remember, feedback matters!
This week’s challenge:
They never saw it coming.
This week’s challenge is to use this simple writing prompt as inspiration for your story. The sentence does not need to appear in your story (but you are more than welcome to, if you like). You may interpret the prompt any way you like, as long as the connection is clear and you follow all sub and post rules.
Last Week
As always, lots of great stories were submitted this week. Tales of love, space, comedy, horror and much more. You all are doing a great job at rising to the challenge that is micro-fic! Now, I’d like to spotlight two deserving stories from this past week. Be sure to give them a read if you haven’t already!
‘A Crush’ - Submitted by u/QuiscoverFontaine - A cute story about the moment a friend becomes something more.
‘Smile’ - Submitted by u/lingdenshlonden - A dark tale of magic and the shadows in the forest.
How It Works:
Submit one story between 100-300 words in the comments below, by the following Sunday at midnight, EST. Use wordcounter.net to check your word count. The title is not counted in your final word count. Stories under 100 words will be disqualified from being spotlit.
I will take nominations for your favorites each week via a message on reddit or discord. Each Monday, I will spotlight two deserving stories from the previous week that I think really stood out. I will take all nominations you make into consideration. But please remember, this is not a contest.
Come back throughout the week, upvote your favorites and leave them a comment with some feedback. While it’s not a requirement, I encourage everyone to read the other stories on the thread and leave feedback. I will take all of this into consideration when making my selections each week.
Please be respectful and civil in all feedback and discussion. We welcome writers of all skill levels and experience here, as we’re all here to improve and sharpen our skills.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask them on the stickied comment on this thread or through modmail.
And most of all, be creative and have fun!
Subreddit News
Try your hand at serial writing with Serial Sunday!
You can now post serials to r/Shortstories, outside of Serial Sunday. Check out this lovely post to learn more!
Looking for critiques and feedback for your story? Check out our new sub r/WPCritique
Join our discord to chat with authors, prompters, and readers!
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u/Thetallerestpaul Mar 29 '21
<OPPENHEIMERS REGRET>
We never learnt the name of their race, but centuries of popular culture led people to call them ‘Bugs’. They didn’t look insectoid, nor share any biological or social characteristics with any species from Earth, as far as we knew, but it was dehumanizing enough to serve its purpose.
We didn’t even find out what happened to our explorers, stumbling across the Bug homeworld so close to our own. The terminated transmissions, after a few garbled shouts, and an out of focus video of the aliens was enough to convince the world that we needed to strike first and decisively.
It was my idea to use the rock. Using boosters and gravity wells, slingshotting our way to their homeworld. It worked like a dream, they never saw it coming. Or at least, if they did, they didn’t comprehend what it meant for their planet.
There was something that I was as unprepared for as the Bugs were for their reckoning. As the glow of their funeral pyre faded in the night sky, and the fanfare of victory waned with it, I was overwhelmed by guilt. In the pantheon of the worst dictators and murderers of humanities dark history, I stood alone. The killer of an entire world. I snuffed out the only intelligent life we’d ever found, and now on a planet of some 14 billion souls, I felt completely alone.
WC 231
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u/LuvAPup Mar 30 '21
Overall, a well written and very engaging piece. The only thing I wish had been included was WHY the narrator's race felt so threatened by the transmissions from this race. I think another tad bit of detail here would have really rounded it out.
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u/Thetallerestpaul Mar 30 '21
Ah, what I was going for there was it was humans transmissions back that were interrupted. The human ship found them, there were.shouts and a video them the feed was cut off
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u/katherine_c Mar 30 '21
I think this takes one of the common themes in sci-fi and brings it into a micro-fiction world well. I do agree it might be stronger if the risk felt more immediate, creating more ambiguity for the character's actions. As is, however, it really shows the danger of impulsively acting on fear/panic. A somber tale, but a good read nonetheless.
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u/Thetallerestpaul Mar 30 '21
Thanks, I think Enders Game was one of my favourite versions of this trope. It was my favourite book as a kid.
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u/pathetic_optimist Apr 01 '21
I am sure this is how the Human Race would act. Good story and another version of this popular scifi theme.
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u/rare27 Mar 30 '21 edited Apr 03 '21
This Marriage of Theirs
This marriage of our neighbors always seemed strange to us although their oneness couldn’t be denied. She served as his interlocutor, he served as hers. Although we never saw them together, they were always on one accord when it came to being friendly to everyone in the neighborhood and maintaining their home. He was away on business often, when he’d return, she’d seclude herself to write. She’d write the most beautiful sonnets about their love, but she also wrote dark poems of her loneliness. As time went on there were fewer sonnets and more darkness. She’d read them aloud to me whenever I made the occasional visit. On this particular day, the poem was so haunting that I asked her if those were her current feelings or if they were remnants of her past life. She went and retrieved one of their wedding photos from the shelf, she stared briefly then passed the photo to me.
“Does this look real to you? Our whole marriage has been a lie,” she said.
“I’m so sorry. Has he been having an affair or something?”
“No, he doesn’t exist.”
Dumbfounded, I blinked slowly and asked, “What?”
“Well, he does exist but only in my mind.”
“What?!”
“I am him and he is I,” she said nonchalantly.
“But how...is...that...even...possible?”
“I’ve been going to therapy while he’s away on business, extensive psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, and adjunctive therapy. I’ve learned that HE is just “Fig Newton” of my imagination and yours and your husband’s too. He deceived us all.” Then she laughed hysterically, she laughed and laughed until she couldn’t laugh anymore. Then she sobbed.
I stared at the photo in disbelief as I realized his eyes were hers and hers were his.
Sologamy.
WC 292
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u/katherine_c Mar 30 '21
Well, this introduces some interesting questions! The hints are there throughout, and I appreciated that when reading through it a second time. Very clever! I think his/her confession feels a little out of place with the style of the rest of the story ("Fig Newton of my imagination"?), but the concept is great. I also love the idea of the photo. Really interesting idea and great story!
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u/rare27 Mar 30 '21
Thank you for your feedback, I really appreciate it! I’m a novice so it helps. Fig Newton was used in place of figment because it’s an American colloquialism meant to be funny and I wanted to show how crass she was treating such a serious situation, alluding to her hysteria.
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u/LuvAPup Mar 30 '21
Overall, well done. There were just a couple of things that stood out to me. One is a minor grammatical error. "...there were less sonnets..." should be, "...there were fewer sonnets..." for both flow and accurate quantification. The second is the line, "She server as his interlocutor, and he served as hers." The phrasing is odd and I'm not exactly sure of what the intended context is here considering the term interlocutor simply means someone partaking in a dialogue; honestly, I had to look it up because I'd never come across this term before. Is it meant more in that they were confidants in each other? Perhaps my lack of understand comes from lack of familiarity with the term, but clarification would be appreciated. :)
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u/rare27 Mar 30 '21
Thank you! It didn’t sound quite right to me either so thank you for that correction. Interlocutor just means confidant, I’ve seen it used to describe the relationship between one of my favorite writers, Lorraine Hansberry, and her husband.
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u/pathetic_optimist Apr 01 '21
This is great. Gender self definition is a very current issue and we need more stories like this. I think 'interlocutor' is fine. I think it needed a slightly odd choice to fit in with the rest of the oddness.
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u/rare27 Apr 01 '21
Thank you for the positive feedback! This was my first ever stab at writing micro fiction.
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u/LuvAPup Mar 30 '21
<Cryopreservation>
"Welcome aboard folks, this is your pilot speaking. Thank you for choosing Cloud Nebulous Spaceway for your intergalactic travel needs. We'll be disembarking shortly, so if you'll please finish stowing your belongings and fasten the doors of your cryochambers, that would be appreciated," he parroted, the well-practiced words rolling off his tongue without effort. Travel between stations and planets was old hat for him.
Flight attendants moved through the cabin, ensuring each chamber was secured and no belongings were loose. While the chambers were sturdy and set to keep the passengers' at their current age during travel, the velocity of a piece of luggage crashing into one was enough to irreparably damage them. Upon the signal from the flight crew, the pilot flicked several switches on his dashboard and the ship slowly jostled away from the platform. Setting the coordinates and flipping on the autopilot, he set about the cabin making adjustments to each cryochamber as he went before returning to his seat and belting himself in.
Today was the last day of him taking the privileged to fantastic destinations across the universe. The ship didn't need him; it practically flew and docked itself.
Pressing a button, his seat walled itself off before dropping through the floor and hull. Small jets ignited on the outside of the pod and he steered towards the nearest planet. Retirement would be sweet on the Planet of Maidens, and the passengers would be fine despite all of them waking up as teenagers at their destination. Petty, but harmless in the end, the pilot decided as he jettisoned away from his old life.
WC: 268
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u/katherine_c Mar 30 '21
A fun, quirky little sci-fi tale. I guess the implication, however, would be that the cryochambers can reverse aging, which sounds like a marvel by itself. I think the pilot's character is wonderfully developed. Dutiful, dedicated, but sick of the way things are and ready for a deserved break. It is a lighthearted take and definitely took an unexpected turn! I really enjoyed it!
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u/TheOnlyDaughter Apr 02 '21
I enjoyed your view point of telling a retirement story. It was a nice change to the stories I usually read!
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u/Aglaia19 Mar 30 '21
-Call of the Sea-
“Handsome captain, I long for thee… Dive deep, swim fast… Come to me…”
The song was like honey to William’s ears. He stood on the bow of his ship, swaying gently with the waves. A pearlescent skinned woman smirked up at him from the inky black waves below.
“True love awaits with me… In the depths of the deep dark sea…”
“Captain!” a crew member called out. “Wake up!”
“True love,” he murmured to himself, unphased. “Lady of the sea, I won’t betray thee.”
“Come to me,” the siren sang.
As he stepped over the edge, William awoke, and was swallowed by the sea.
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Mar 30 '21
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u/katherine_c Mar 30 '21
I think this is beautiful and very impressionistic, which I enjoy. I'm not sure I 100% follow all the connections. There is a lot of room left for interpretation. I think it brings together some really great images and paints an interesting picture of a relationship that develops unexpectedly. Some really nice contrasts in the sentences (I especially like the blizzard line) that fit the flow and overall theme well. Again, not sure I get it, but I certainly enjoyed it!
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u/pathetic_optimist Apr 01 '21
I suspect the 'distant but connected planets' are the same planet but distant in time. I love the romance of this.
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u/katherine_c Mar 30 '21
--Anticipation--
Trevor bounced from foot to foot, waiting for the doors to open and admit his soon-to-be wife down the aisle. He felt sweat run down his collar, a heavy smile on his nervous lips. He had not seen her since yesterday's rehearsal, per tradition and her request, and he imagined her resplendent for him alone. So he looked to the heavy wooden doors at the end of the aisle as the organ geared up and started the notes.
It was a bar too far into the song and the doors had not opened. He shifted again, smile shuddering, still waiting. Then, a creak and groan as the aged wood slowly edged open.
His eyes found hers just above her harsh smile. And then confusion and panic settled in as another figure in a white dress started down the aisle as well, hand in hand. Her father was supposed to be walking her down the aisle, but instead, there was a second bride.
The nerves settled firmly into a knot in his stomach.
Anna walked down the aisle in time to the song, never letting her gaze deviate from his. His eyes swung back and forth between his bride and the other woman, trying to wake up from this nightmare. Finally, the song ended and Anna stood at the bottom of the steps. They had rehearsed; he would go down, take her hand, and help her up. Only he froze.
“I figured since you thought you could date both of us, you wouldn’t mind marrying us both?” she said with acid dripping from her voice.
Louisa smiled too, and he was trapped beneath their withering gazes. “Only I’m not sure either of us wants to say ‘I do.’”
Trevor fainted, the only way to save any dignity he had left.
WC: 299
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u/throwthisoneintrash Mar 31 '21
Three Adventurers
WC 100
Three adventurers advanced on enemy ground; fearless, invincible.
Four sentries rose to meet them; immovable, undefeated.
Words before the clash, warning the enemy.
A spell before the flash, directing its power.
Four bodies fell, none adventurer.
Three marched on, almost victorious.
But they never saw it coming.
The silence surrounding them broke.
The trees in the forest spoke.
“You are ours.”
Three adventurers, thousands of trees.
A tempo rose, a drumbeat.
Advancing ents, nymphs, and dryads.
There was no refuge now.
Fight or run or die.
The adventurers lay on the ground.
Feeling the sun’s warm breath one last time.
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u/GammaGames Apr 12 '21
F
I thought it was going to keep escalating in count for each line haha I enjoyed the rhythm of each line too. It fit well with that tempo you mentioned when the forest attacked.
My favorite line was:
Fight or run or die.
It was short, but I thought its construction got that urgent confusion feeling across well.
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u/OldBayJ Mar 29 '21
Welcome to Micro Monday!
Use this comment for any questions, comments, or off-topic discussion you may have. Enjoy!