r/shortstories • u/OldBayJ Mod | r/ItsMeBay • Feb 22 '21
Micro Monday [OT] Welcome to Micro Monday: Week 2!
Welcome to the Micro Monday Challenge!
Hello writers! Welcome to Micro Monday! I am excited to present you all with a chance to sharpen those micro-fic skills. What is micro-fic? I’m glad you asked! Micro-fiction is generally defined as a complete story (hook, plot, conflict, and some type of resolution) written in 300 words or less. For this exercise, it needs to be at least 100 words.
However, less words doesn’t mean less of a story. The key to micro-fic is to make careful word and phrase choices so that you can paint a vivid picture for your reader. Less words means each word does more!
Each week, I’ll give you a single constraint or jumping-off point to get your minds working. It might be an image, a theme word, a sentence, or a simple writing prompt. You’re free to interpret the prompt how you like as long as you follow the post and subreddit rules. Please read the entire post before submitting.
Last Week
So many great stories were submitted last week! And I was delighted to see all the feedback exchanged on the thread. You all really brought your A-game and choices were tough. But with that being said, there were two that I thought stood out.
This story about revenge from beyond the grave by u/Rulerofgummybears - A short, thrilling tale that uses only 100 words to paint a vivid image for the readers.
This dark tale about finding a sacrifice for the Queen by u/PennGuinoMcAistear - An intriguing scene with a full arc and a lovely twist ending.
This week’s challenge:
The call came at midnight.
This week’s challenge is to use this simple writing prompt as inspiration for your story. The sentence does not need to appear in your story (but you are more than welcome to, if you like). You may interpret the prompt any way you like, as long as the connection is clear and you follow all sub and post rules.
How It Works:
In the comments below, submit a story between 100-300 words by the following Sunday at midnight EST. Use wordcounter.net to check your word count. The title is not counted in your final word count.
Each Monday, I will spotlight two deserving stories from the previous week that I think really stood out. I will take any nominations you make into consideration. You may send them to me via reddit or on the discord. But please remember, this is not a contest.
While it’s not a requirement, I encourage everyone to come back throughout the week and read the other stories on the thread. Upvote your favorites and leave them a comment with some feedback. I will take all of this into consideration when making my selections each week.
We welcome writers of all skill levels and experience here, as we’re all here to improve and sharpen our skills. Please be respectful and civil in all feedback and discussion.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask them on the stickied comment on this thread.
And most of all, be creative and have fun!
Subreddit News
Check out our 15M Contest on r/WritingPrompts!
Looking for critiques and feedback for your story? Check out our new sub r/WPCritique
Join our discord to chat with authors, prompters, and readers!
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u/rudexvirus Feb 22 '21
Blink.
The phone rang 33 times, and the answering machine wouldnt pick up. The fan above Quinn's bed blurred, blending into the ceiling with each blink.The blade's shadows would disappear, then slither back out, pulsing to the beat of the ringing.
Her heart slammed against her ribcage, lungs screamed for more air that she couldn't provide.
The phone rang again. 38. 39. 40 times.
Rain battered her window, keeping the night air dark and intruding, angry at the incessant trill. 49. 50. 51.
She swore she would answer if she could.
But she hadn't been able to move for several hours.
(100 words)
For more stuff by me check out r/beezus_writes.
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u/jimiflan Feb 22 '21
Intriguing! I want more on why she can’t move. One little nit to chew on - the numbers would normally be spelled out, and you save words like this, but it is noticeable.
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u/OldBayJ Feb 22 '21
Hey Aly! Good story. I'm very curious as to what is going on with this woman that can't move. It brings up some interesting questions to the reader which can be a great way to end. I think the heart 'slamming' against the rib cage is a very strong image and I'm undecided if that fits here. Overall it was an enjoyable read!
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u/canyoufeelthat Feb 24 '21
Great imagery with the fan's shadows and descriptive word use with her inner turmoil, literally haha. I just wanna know what the heck is goin' on! Solid 100 word'er though! I'm fully intrigued.
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u/claimtheflame Feb 27 '21
I love this! It’s really cool with how your descriptions make everything around her move a lot while she was still. Very creepy!
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u/Jcote12 Feb 27 '21
Oh I neeeed to know what’s going on here—why’d you do this to me?! I do love that sense of wonder though so I forgive you :P Great job!
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Feb 22 '21 edited Feb 22 '21
great words last week everyone. can't wait to see what you all come up with. i went with something different this time around
Stay Inside
Bzzt
Bzzt
The jostling vibration woke me with a start. As I fumbled in the dark, I slipped and dropped my phone to the floor. I reached blindly, patting at my carpet. I nearly yelped as I felt my cat's tail brush up against my arm.
With a triumphant 'oomph', I brought my phone to my face to see who in the hell was trying to get a hold of me in the middle of the night. As I scrolled through the message feed, I realized that it was my girlfriend; she appeared to be in some sort of panic.
---
00:00 - AJ, u there?
---
00:02 - Did u hear the explosion?
---
00:08 - There r screams coming from my neighbor's house, are u okay???
---
00:27 - There's something outside! Stay inside!
---
01:19 - AJ... I'm scared
---
01:21 - They got inside. If u get this, I'm sorry
---
As I stared at the messages, trying to make sense of it, I heard some odd scurrying coming from under my bed. At the same time, my eyes were drawn to the gentle flapping of my window curtain -- dancing gently in the breeze.
As I laid there, fully awake for the first time that night, it dawned on me- I didn't own a cat.
WC: 212
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u/rudexvirus Feb 22 '21
Ohh, I think texts and other similar devices work especially well in micro!
My only nitpick is super low line level and that you have the MC paw at the carpet and mention her cat and it is a weird conjuration for a second.
😌
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Feb 22 '21
oh yeah, you're right huh. guess MC is part cat (jk)
glad you enjoyed it. a different word in there would be more effective i think. thanks! glad you enjoyed it
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u/OldBayJ Feb 22 '21
Just dropping by to tell you what I already did :P I love the ending on this one. It took me by surprise but not in the way where I felt tricked or like it was thrown in there as a last resort. I think it was very well done. \o/
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u/Thetallerestpaul Feb 22 '21
This could be fleshed out into a nosleep I reckon. Nicely done, definitely felt the dread for the person in the bed.
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Feb 22 '21
nosleep is a big influence on me, so thank you for the comparison
i'm glad you enjoyed this. i think there's definitely more there to write
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u/jimiflan Feb 23 '21
Nicely done with the txt messages. And what kind of person is this that doesn’t own a cat... well let’s be honest, no one really owns a cat, some cats own humans, but others cats don’t.
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u/canyoufeelthat Feb 24 '21
I really enjoyed this one too! Kind of like a quick injection of entertainment with a good payoff. I could see where you were going but not too soon, and it tied up smoothly. I can never deny the hook of these text message-based stories. So much to say between the lines, like real life. Great work!
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u/katherine_c Feb 27 '21
Classic, but nicely done. There is a steady, growing sense of dread throughout. Really enjoyed the gentle hand with details, but each helped set up the story, which is what makes micro fiction so tough!
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u/jimiflan Feb 22 '21
— The call came in at midnight —
Two A.M’s a bad time to be looking at a body. Convenient and murder ain’t words you say in one breath.
The dame had a feather in her hair and a knife in her back.
“A hooker,” the constable said, and after a stern look from me, “I mean, exotic dancer. Two to one it was a client.”
I didn’t like those odds and wasn’t buying it. The constable had missed the faintest of blood traces that led to the hole in the cupboard. I unlocked it and solved the crime.
“Hello lover.”
What’ya know, a convenient murder after all.
—————- WC:100
→ More replies (8)
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u/georgmayer Feb 22 '21 edited Feb 22 '21
A Life For Music
The church is a modern building made of concrete: tall windows rising up and up, straight lines everywhere, a wide hall overhung by empty space above which walls and angles carry a glass roof. Sunlight floods into the hall, making the plain surfaces glow, the emptiness radiate.
There she sits - at the organ, close to the altar, bathed in light. Her hands create a melody that passes through the tall pipes to fill the hall, a melody that feels melancholic, ominous, sometimes even threatening - that slowly moves across the details of the building, touching them, adapting to them, until she feels that only her music holds the walls upright, that she creates the notes which shape the church.
Last night he called. Last night they met. Last night they kissed. She knows: he is the one. The one who made her find this melody inside her. She will marry him. She will play this music for him. At his funeral.
(160 words)
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u/canyoufeelthat Feb 24 '21
Wow, some great emotions in this. The paragraph about the organ and music in the church is phenomenal. Made me yearn for some church music. I liked the ending as well, but I felt a tone shift that I wasn't expecting. Maybe that was just me getting sucked into the relationship of her and the music/organ, but the twist at the end had a thrillery vibe when I was deep into imagining this church full of song and warmth. All of it is super intriguing though, so whatever this story is, I want to know if there's more!
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u/georgmayer Feb 25 '21
Thank you all u/rudexvirus, u/canyoufeelthat, u/PennGuinoMcAistear, u/thatcatparent for you very kind comments. It was my first try after a very long time in writing something and I am glad if you enjoyed reading it.
During a trip through Finland I once visited a nearly empty church, where a woman played the organ (I guess she was just practicing) - it was a beautiful day outside and I somehow still, after quite some years, carry this image around with me. The restriction here to say things in few words somehow pushed me to put it down in words. :)
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u/claimtheflame Feb 27 '21
I love how visual this is! You can almost feel the weight of the church. That last paragraph was a really interesting twist!
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u/katherine_c Feb 27 '21
Wow! Such a great image. I love more descriptive stories, but they end up so long. It's amazing to see what you did in such a small space! The last line is so ominous, but if I needed a happy ending, maybe she just loves him so much, she'll be by his side until death...albeit, what sounds like an unnaturally early death, but.....
Really impressive!
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u/OldBayJ Feb 22 '21
Welcome to Micro Monday!
Use this comment for any questions, comments, or off-topic discussion you may have. Enjoy!