r/WritingPrompts • u/Cody_Fox23 Skulking Mod | r/FoxFictions • Jun 28 '20
Constrained Writing [CW] Smash 'Em Up Sunday: Ensemble
Welcome back to Smash ‘Em Up Sunday!
Last Week
I should have known "Isolation" would bring about lots of stories in the current climate! So many great stories were submitted last week. So many in fact I haven’t gotten to read through them all. Unfortunately that means my picks will be delayed again. I apologize for the inconvenience, but real life has demanded more and more of my time. I don’t want to skip over or ignore any submissions so I appreciate you all bearing with me!
Community Choice:
Unanimously /u/chineseartist’s “The Wasteland” snags the community’s heart! It really is a great piece and I’m happy to see it selected. It makes my shortlist one entry smaller :P
Remember, if you read through the stories and have a favorite DM me! You don’t even need to write to vote. This award is from the readers!
Cody’s Choices:
CHECK BACK NEXT WEEK
This Week’s Challenge
In the month of June I am going to try and get you to write in a number of different ways. Last month I made you do different POVs and that seemed to be welcome practice from the feedback I got. So why not carry it through in a slightly different way this month? So I kept you to one character last week. It seemed some people had trouble wrangling that in. This week I shall open the floodgates. Let’s see how you manage a large cast. It is a skill to manipulate many characters without things getting muddy. Can you clearly characterize each one to keep it clear? Can you do it in only 800 words? Give it a shot!
BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!
There seems to be a lot of people that come by and read everyone’s stories and talk back and forth. I would love for those people to have a voice in picking a story. So I encourage you to come back on Saturday and read the stories that are here. Send me a DM either here or on Discord to let me know which story is your favorite!
The one with the most votes will get a special mention.
How to Contribute
Write a story or poem, no more than 800 words in the comments using at least two things from the three categories below. The more you use, the more points you get. Because yes! There are points! You have until 11:59 PM EDT 4 July 2020 20 to submit a response.
| Category | Points |
|---|---|
| Word List | 1 Point |
| Sentence Block | 2 Points |
| Defining Feature | 3 Points |
Word List
Bread
Doctor
Bee
Defenestrate
Sentence Block
We weren’t sure where they went.
Blue was everywhere.
Defining Features
Minimum cast of 5 active characters
FREE POINTS! 5 Characters is hard; have some free points if you pull it off!
What’s happening at /r/WritingPrompts?
Join in the fun of our Summer Challenge! How many stories can you write this season?
Nominate your favourite WP authors or commenters for Spotlight and Hall of Fame! We count on your nominations to make our selections.
Come hang out at The Writing Prompts Discord! I apologize in advance if I kinda fanboy when you join. I love my SEUS participants <3
Want to help the community run smoothly? Try applying for a mod position. We could use another ambassador to the Galactic Community after all.
I hope to see you all again next week!
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u/VictorPato Jul 05 '20 edited Jul 05 '20
A Clash of Titans
Blue was everywhere. In every single body of water, whether drops, oceans, seas or glasses: Blue aka Water was never far.
On the other hand, Green had control over most of everything else on Earth, as Green was the Earth. He controlled all that had stemmed from its body, even down to their developed form. Master of the bees and what they bred; master of the wheat and of its bread; master of life, you could say instead.
Today, Green and Blue were on a mission: to save humanity.
“We weren’t sure where they went.” Green muttered, the sound waves rumbling through the ground. Blue acquiesced.
“Did you at least acquire some new intel on the enemy?” answered a tenebrous entity, almost indiscernible from pitch black: Death.
“Yes, we’ve confirmed their malicious intent” Yellow added “They plan on defenestrating all of humanity.”
Yellow was usually quite vibrant, but today the Sun’s furious folly could be seen to have quintupled in its ruminating fusion core. Yellow’s rage could only be outmatched by Red’s; who had seen all this unfold from afar. Yellow may have one 27 million degree Fahrenheit core but Red had hundreds of thousands, all dispersed among land & sea, lighting up at this very instant in the shape of a circle: no, a Ring of Fire.
Fire, seemingly troubled dared to ask: “One thing still perplexes me. Why are you helping us Black? Don’t you want to see humanity rampaged?”
Death felt misunderstood. Sun swooped in: “Hey Red! Why does that bother you? Aren’t you glad he’s helping us?”
The others seemed to agree with Sun’s remark, but Death felt he had to justify himself:
“Once, I was a doctor; before I became this, abomination. But even with my lacking skills and intellect, I still knew that doctors had to make sacrifices. It isn’t their role, but unfortunately, when huge crises arise, there has to be atrocious, but necessary, decisions about what’s best for the world.” Death paused, reclaiming his voice’s structural integrity “If they plan on destroying all of us, I can’t let that happen.”
Earth and Ocean didn’t fathom Death’s entire monologue: “But, Death? Why is it that you kill our brethren, day after day, millions of them every time?”
“Well, you should regard me as a necessary evil. I choose the people I kill very carefully; in order to make sure that the majority is unharmed. It might seem paradoxical but Death is essential to Life. In other words, you need me for this mission.”
Earth suddenly gasped: “I’m picking up something. It seems to be coming from the enemy. Blue, could you tune in to these soundwaves I’m sending you?”
“Already ahead of you” shot Ocean
Death stepped in: “I understand it may be a vain objective but could we try discussing peace with them before attacking?”
“You’re right” Fire added “I might not believe your reasons for helping but if there’s a way we can avoid bloodshed.” He turned to face the others, gazing at all unanimously “We have to take it!”
Unfortunately, after tuning in to the enemy’s frequency, peace was deemed impossible. Indeed, the frequency’s information could be translated to “Die! Humanity!” or “We will never settle for peace!”. The five of them readied up: for war.
First, Ocean and Earth located the enemy through their signals.
Then, Fire and Sun illuminated the spot with billions of kilowatts of energy; spouting luminous rays in concentrated mini-supernovas; revealing the enemy spaceship.
Death swooped in finally to lock in the kill, until- he couldn’t do it.
Sun sent a ray of support; Ocean, a drop of courage; Fire, a welcoming hearth; Earth, a helping hand: “Death. We understand this is hard but it is imperative that the enemy be neutralized. If they aren’t-“ Earth was cut in his remark.
“Yes… I know that!” Tears crawled down his somber facies “I always believed that I could save others but… I’m such a weakling I’ve never had the courage to even attempt it. To make the impossible decisions I was promulgating earlier. I’m a mess. I’m sorry.”
While Earth attempted to console Death, the rest of the team set out to subdue the enemy themselves. Fire and Sun launched a cooperative offense as Ocean’s tides controlled the moon in an attempt to hurl it towards the enemy fleet. It was too late: the enemy had landed while Earth was distracted: what could they do now?
The elements gazed powerlessly as the enemy carried out its master plan: defenestrating humanity. None of them could attack without harming their own in the process.
Thousands were dying every second as people were pressed to leave their houses and to stay away from windows.
A scream of pain echoed: not the enemy’s. But Death’s, as all, turned, to Black.
Word count: 800 words.
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u/Badderlocks_ Jul 04 '20
“It’s so bright,” Jess murmured.
She was right. Here, so near the peak of the mountain, the midday light made the sky around us glow. Blue was everywhere. It would have been unbearable if it hadn’t been so breathtakingly beautiful.
Jess stood at the edge of the outcropping we were resting on, gazing over the vast landscape. Marc moved forward, grabbed her hand, and squeezed it gently. Their garishly colored emergency jackets reflected the blinding light.
“I’m glad we can share this view,” he said.
The rest of us groaned.
“Can you two keep it in your pants for just five minutes?” I asked. “The stakes are much bigger than your precious honeymoon.”
In my peripherals, I could see my crewmates nodding agreement. Jess and Mark were the quintessential newlywed couple, almost saccharine in their affections.
Still, as Les pointed out the previous night, we had to admire their pluck. When the pilot had crashed the Starliner yacht, immediately killing himself and several other members of the crew, they had barely hesitated for a moment before rounding up the survivors and creating a plan for rescue.
Even so, they were lucky to have us. Les, like all chefs, had a seriously seedy backstory. None of us were brave enough to ask, but he had incredible survival skills that had kept us alive and provisioned with a bland bread for the past week. Dr. Acharya had scavenged enough medical supplies from the life pod to bandage us up. As for me… well, I had been pretty useless so far, but I knew they were counting on me to come up with some convoluted techy solution to save us.
Les sighed noisily. “Alright, move, you lovebirds.” He stomped towards the edge. “Hrm. We can rest here for the night. The mountain should give us enough shelter from the wind.” He turned back from the ledge and began setting down some of the makeshift bags that carried their scarce supplies.
“Now wait just a minute,” Dr. Acharya said. “We’re aiming to reach the peak, are we not? Why should we stop so close to the top?
“Because,” Les glowered, “if we start for the peak now, it will be dark long before we get back. I don’t know if you’ve descended a mountain peak in the black of night, frozen to the bone in biting winds, but it’s no walk in the park.”
“It may not be,” Marc said, approaching, “but none of this trip has been. What’s a bit more difficulty?”
“He’s right, Les,” Jess said. “If they’re out looking for us, and they should be by now, then every minute we’re not on the peak is a minute we’re not getting rescued. We should push for it and camp out there.”
“Camp out there? Are you crazy?” Les turned to me. “Are you hearing this?”
I shrugged. “Honestly, I’m not part of this. I’ve been along for the ride ever since the pilot managed to defenestrate himself during orbital entry.”
“Defenestrate.” Les snorted. “You fools do what you want. I’m staying here and foraging a bit. Might be able to get some wild honey. I think I saw some bees a few miles back.” He continued setting up the camp.
“So are you coming with us?”
I glanced at Les stubbornly setting up a jury-rigged tent. “Better alive and still lost than found dead. Les knows more about surviving than any of us, stubborn jackass though he may be.”
Les grunted but didn’t respond.
“I think it’s best to listen to him,” I continued.
The doctor turned her nose up to us. “Fine. Stay lost if you will. We’re continuing onwards. With that, she stormed towards the peak, trailing Jess and Marc close behind.
The next morning came quickly enough, waking Les and me with gentle rays of warmth. But the first light of day brought a realization with it.
The three intrepid climbers of the previous night had not returned to us. Either they had weathered the peak or they had lost their way. Les and I packed slowly. Despite the argument of the previous day, we desperately hoped for them to make their way back.
But we could not waste the whole day. We weren’t even sure where they went, if they had arrived at the top, if they had stayed, if they had gotten lost. After almost two hours of mostly waiting, we silently decided to continue to the peak.
We learned their fate soon enough. The ship hovered low, and though it spotted us quickly enough, they had not initially descended to save us. Our saviors brought us aboard the ship, and after we ate and cleaned ourselves, we watched the delicate operation as they extracted three brightly colored bundles from the jaws of the mountain.
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u/lynx_elia Jul 05 '20
Aw man! The feels at the end of this one. I really like the way the tone changed so dramatically from joking to silence. I'd love a more fleshed-out version, too.
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u/mobaisle_writing Jul 04 '20 edited Jul 04 '20
“How old is the wall?”
Gazing out from the parapets you could almost see the zero point; where time and space exchanged clothes and the silver sands stretched to infinity. Out there, amongst the ever-present mists, ideas lent shape pushed against the membranes of reality.
“Old. Kid, I can smell it, did you bring a meal?” The Captain didn’t turn from his vigil, the words sliding out from his obsidian face-plate.
The kid rubbed his ring, and a hamper materialised on the flagstones to a discordant chorus of complaints from the squad. A cornucopia of food spilled from it in a chaotic tangle; from the sweet to the savoury, from the patently delicious to the seemingly inedible.
“Is that supposed to be bread?”
“I want the electric haddock.”
“Meow.”
“But you had the fish last time.”
“Meow.”
“Gods above, Mau, you’re such a greedy shit.”
“Just remember Captain always has the sabre-tooth bear.”
The bickering petered out, and the squad sat in a circle around the pile. Plates were summoned alongside tankards, and for the first time that month, they relaxed. Spears were laid aside, gauntlets slipped from tense hands, and face-plates lifted.
All except the Captain.
He stood still, gazing out on the abyss. Periodically a haunch of bear would be lifted to the blank mask and a ragged chunk would vanish.
The kid sat down with the others, rescuing a honeyed rice cake before it too was gone.
Pytor raised an eyebrow. “Is the beekeeper back in the Outer Park?”
“Yes,” the remains of the cake trembled in the kid’s hand, “they’ve started trading with consent from The Black Tower. Swarm’s grown bigger too.”
A feral grin spread across Nyssa’s face. Her slitted pupils narrowed and the velvet about her horns shifted hue. “Bring me one, child. Big sister will reward you.”
Pytor frowned. “Don’t tease the kid, those things were metres across when they last passed by half a century ago. And that’s not counting the queen.”
The grin widened. “And?”
“And Doc’s got enough on his hands without trying to rescue hopeless cases.” Pytor said, “Ain’t that right, Doc?”
The trio turned, just in time to catch the glimmer of eldritch light from the watch tower’s far corner.
Between the doctor’s outstretched palms sickly glowing runes slipped one by one into the haddock. As light met flesh gloss returned to dead eyes, fins twitched and straightened, and a faint hum belied the static in the air. As the final symbol winked from existence, the fish gasped. Hair thin electric currents crawled across its scales and it writhed in desperation.
With cold disinterest in his apathetic silver pupils, the doctor threw the fish to Mau, who tore it apart with evident glee.
“Insects contain up to 76% protein by dry mass, their fats often provide a high level of poly-unsaturated intake, their mineral and vitamin contents are seasonal, carbohydrates largely comprise of chitin. Consumers should be careful of heavy metal poisoning, the presence of bio-loaded toxins, and the usual mutations from high mana environments. I have not eaten bee. There are better uses were a test subject to be procured.” he said.
A blank silence caressed their frozen faces. It deepened uncomfortably to the dialogue of purring from Mau, and frantic bolts of lightning from the dying haddock.
Pytor turned back to the kid in entreaty. “So… Any news from the City?”
“Oh, umm. The central watch says the defencerate… the defiances… the-”
“Defenestrations.”
“Thank you very much, Doc. The throwing-people-out-of-windows case is still ongoing. So far they’re all still stuck in the time loops. No one’s hit the ground yet, so there’s no consensus on whether it should be considered murder or unlicensed use of space-time magic in an urban environment.”
“Sodding bureaucrats.” Nyssa’s velvet morphed to a worrying scarlet. “They should’ve set loose the revenants after the first repeat case. Had them flayed.”
“Control yourself, Nyssa.” the Captain’s gravelly voice spread from his vigil at the edge, “I spoke to Lyukenov of the Park Rangers. It’s a delicate situation. Even the Augur’s haven’t discerned how they entered. Hells, we aren’t even sure where they went afterwards. They have an Adept highly skilled in spatial magics on their side. Wait for orders from the Tower.”
He turned his head, wyrd glow coruscating from the edges of his impassive mask. “That goes for all of you.”
“Yes, sir.” the reply came in unison, prompt and sharp.
A sudden burst of actinic light sent chaotic shadows dithering across the stone. In the corner, blue was everywhere. The tattered skeleton of the haddock, relieved of its flesh, was disintegrating in a cascade of violent currents.
“Meow!” said Mau.
“Precisely.” said Doc.
[783 words]
Going back to an old setting for a bit, albeit in a slightly off-beat tone. This set of words was hard.
That being said, if you've enjoyed reading and would like to find more nonsense like this, why not check out my sub?
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u/GammaGames Jul 04 '20
This world is incredibly intriguing to me, it sounds so cool!
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u/mobaisle_writing Jul 04 '20
Thanks, Gamma.
Here's a collection of some random one-shots from this world.
My TT serial is also set in the same universe, albeit not on the same world.
→ More replies (1)
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u/kid_r0cK Jul 03 '20 edited Jul 03 '20
Not a single cloud could be spotted in the sky, blue was everywhere. Under the blue sky, in a hive made under the branch of an old willow tree, the bees flitted in and out. They worked hard, and once in a while they would stop, take a break, and talk to each other.
One particularly hard-working bee, who for the purposes of making the story easy to follow, we give the name - Bob, discussed the matter of the queen's defenestration with his fellow workers, say - Ashley and John.
"The doctor was here last night," Ashley said.
"Her health's going down the gutter now, eh?" John inquired.
"I suppose so. And I wonder why. All she does is sit there and eat while we work our asses off," Bob said.
"Come on Bob. That's no way to speak about the queen," Ashley was concerned, any voices of dissent weren't appreciated at the hive.
"Oh come on. How long can we live like this? We can't have a family. We can't do our own thing. I can't take it any longer," Bob replied.
"And that's how the bread crumbles," John said.
"Cookie," Bob snapped, "that's how the cookie crumbles."
"In any case, shouldn't we be grateful to her? She's our mother you know," Ashley said.
"Ah yes. The old mother argument. I've had it up to here now. I won't stand for this exploitation," Bob replied.
"Bob. Calm down, man. There will be a change of guard anyway, your rest times will increase. They said that the queen has just given birth to a fresh line of larvae," said John.
"Oh, she has, has she. Well, I hope she gets defenestrated, through sickness or by my own hands. That's what I hope," Bob said. Ashley and John didn't know how to respond, they stared at him blankly, he had crossed the line.
Just then a whistle went off. It was their shift now. The three bees thus flapped their wings loud and took flight. Once in the air, Bob said to Ashley and John, "I am not coming back, I don't care what you guys do, but I can't take it any longer."
They were unconcerned. Bob storming off and coming back to the hive later in the day with buckets of nectar was a very common thing that happened every fortnight or so.
Predictably, in the evening, Bob returned. But the hive was empty. At the base of the willow tree, several headless bodies of bees were piled up. Bob did not understand what had happened, but from the corner of his eye, he saw two giant yellow wasps stroll out of the hive.
The wasps looked full. They must've ransacked the hive and eaten all of the queen's children, Bob thought as he hid among the corpses.
The wasps flew down towards him. One of them grabbed him by his antennae and threw him against the willow tree. "Coward," said the wasp and glared at him, challenging him to a fight. The other wasp stood silently and watched them have a go at each other.
Bob was beaten to a pulp and thrown against the tree again. There he found himself collapsed over Ashley's head. He looked at it and started crying. The aggressive wasp was about to deliver the death blow when his calm companion asked him to stop and said, "It will be far more painful for him to live than to die."
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560 words.
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u/yellowhoneysuckle Jul 03 '20
The Victory Garden
WC: 735
-------------------
The world is dull and brown, except for a few small sacred places. One of these spaces is located in the backyard of an affluent young family just outside the city. It is surrounded by a small fence with a gate that is heavy, making it difficult to open. Kat holds the gate for her little ones to pass through, and they excitedly enter their little oasis.
They scatter among the plants like they were let loose for a scavenger hunt. Tomatoes, yellow squash, and blueberries create colorful patchwork amongst the greenery. The children hunt for anything that is ripe. Kat lets them run, hoping they’ll waste some energy. But at their age, the energy never runs out.
“Yes! Check it out!” Timothy holds up a ripe apple over his head like a first-place trophy.
“Booyah,” Katie applauds her brother with her new favorite word. It’s very exciting, an apple. Especially to the children. Their taste buds are new, they should have a little more flavor in their lives than just bland bread and rice.
The twins, Miles and Millie, hold hands as they couch down to check out the bees while they’re working on pollinating the blueberries. Miles, still too young to form words, grunts at his mother while pointing at one lying motionless on the ground.
“Oh no, he’s hurt,” Kat picks up the small mechanical bee, a new necessity for the times, and inspects it. Probably a glitch, hopefully nothing too complicated because they can’t afford to replace another one. Her husband has gotten the hang of troubleshooting these things. “Don’t worry Miles, daddy is a great bee doctor. He’ll get him fixed right up.”
Still hand in hand, Miles and Millie waddle to check out what else is going on in the garden. This small plot of land is one of Kat’s biggest joys - next to her children, of course. Not many families are able to keep a garden. It’s a sign of privilege to be able to afford the pollinators and dedicate the time to caring for the plants. Kat was fortunate enough to grow up with a green thumb before all the pollinators disappeared. Keeping a garden was second nature.
The whole world watched intently last week as the president appeared on television “Over the last few months, to be honest with you all, we weren’t sure where they went. The disappearance of one of nature’s most important creatures was a surprise to all. But upon further investigations, the United State’s government has determined that this is an act of eco-terrorism.”
There are still so many questions left unanswered. Not only are supermarkets mostly empty but the constant fear of a looming terrorist threat has everyone on edge. Luckily, since the mechanical bees were already in the works in fear of extinction, scientists were able to release the plans for these little robots fairly quickly. But they’re expensive and flawed. Justifying the cost, Kat figured it wasn’t as expensive as trying to buy products from the market for a family of six.
“There has to be enough for a pie for all of us,” Timothy filled with excitement displays his shirt full of apples. This has to be the biggest harvest yet, but being peak season, this will probably be the biggest all season.
“Can we do that tonight? Pretty please? ” Katie chimes in with puppy eyes.
A simple childhood pleasure for Kat has now taken more meaning for her children. No more are the days where children pass on eating their fruits and veggies. It’s like candy. They savor every bite. Kat has everything they need for a pie back at the house. Some flour, a bit of sugar, and Kat was able to score a little butter at the market. But no cinnamon, though, like they used to have. Too hard to come by.
“Of course, now who’s going to tell dad?” The children’s eyes grew wide in excitement and an unspoken competitive race broke out. Each trying to reach dad with the good news first. Timothy, still with his apples wrapped in his shirt and Katie close behind. Millie and Miles pulled each other by each other’s hands, doing they’re best not to fall down.
Kat takes one more appreciative look at her garden. She thanks the bees for their hard work and closes the gate, mouth-watering over the thought of a slice of apple pie.
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u/OldBayJ Jul 02 '20 edited Jul 04 '20
Still on the Battlefield
“... armed and dangerous. If you see this man, do not approach. Please contact the authorities…”
Arlene muted the television. She couldn’t listen anymore. Blue was everywhere; his face was splashed across every television and newspaper within two-hundred miles. His name and description blared through every radio, on every station. But the words kept swarming through her head. Rampage. Robberies. Mad-man.
Beezy spoke up from behind her, “Mommy, why’s Daddy on the T.V.? Is he famous?”
Startled, Arlene quickly powered off the television. “Hey, my little Bumble Bee.” She wiped her face and turned around. She picked up her youngest daughter, sitting her down on the couch. Beezy stared at her, waiting for an answer. “Well, Daddy’s…”
“Daddy’s a lunatic!” Arlene’s sister snapped from the kitchen.
“Tessa! Don’t say things like that about their father!” Arlene turned back to Beezy, whose big brown eyes were filling with tears. “Auntie didn’t mean that, sweetheart.” She kissed Beezy on the head. Then, she walked to the bar that separated the dining area and the kitchen. “What is wrong with you, huh? You know how sensitive she is.”
“She’s not a baby anymore, I know you see that. You ought to tell her the truth about her Daddy.” Tessa shook her head as she continued peeling potatoes over the sink.
Arlene glared at her sister. She loved her, she did. But sometimes, she just wanted to punch her right in the nose. “You have no idea what’s going on—”
“Mom!” “Mom, look!” Her two oldest, Blainy and Beck, crowded around the television. Arlene ran into the living room as Beck raised the volume.
“...now looking at a hostage situation. Police have surrounded the building and are trying to make contact with the suspect.” The reporter put her hand to her left ear. “It sounds like a shot has been fired inside the building. I repeat, a shot has been fired. It’s unclear whether anyone has been injured…”
Arlene put a hand to her mouth. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. A high-pitched wail filled the apartment. She looked up and her children were staring at her, the source of the noise.
“You think Dad really did what they’re saying? He’s really in there?” Beck's face was filled with worry.
Blainy retorted, “Of course he did. It’s on the T.V., stupid.”
“You're stupid!. Not everything you see on T.V. is the truth. I’m sick of you always talking trash about him!” Beck gave his sister a shove.
She immediately shoved him back. “Touch me again! Go ahead, do it again, and I’ll defenestrate your ass!”
Beck’s face twisted in confusion. “What the hell does that mean?”
“See? Stupid!”
“Stop it! Stop fighting!” Five year old Beezy screamed, standing on the couch, tears pouring from her eyes.
Everyone stared at her in shock. Usually quiet and reserved, Beezy’s face was angry and beet-red, her small fists tightly clenched at her sides.
“That’s enough!” Arlene yelled as she grabbed her purse and took out a twenty dollar bill. “Beck, I need you to go to the store. Get a loaf of bread—white, not that wheat crap—and a gallon of milk. Take Beezy with you. You can stop at Charlie’s and get her a scoop.”
Before Beck could protest, she ushered them out the door and shooed Blaney off to her room, then walked into the kitchen. She leaned on the counter. Tess set the peeler down in the sink and rinsed her hands. She put her arm around her sister, pulling her into her chest. “It’s gonna be alright. It’ll be okay.” She hugged her tight and rubbed her back. After several minutes, Arlene finally detached from Tessa. She blew her nose into a napkin.
Tessa drew in a deep breath. “Has Blue seen a doctor? You know...since he’s been back?”
Her sister shook her head. “The VA wouldn't help him. Not that he really wanted the help.” She sighed, it came out like a sob. “I’ve asked him several times. The last time he told me it wasn’t my business anymore.”
“You know, you need to just move on. He’s not well, Arlene. I know you don’t wanna hear it, but for those beautiful kids, you need to.”
“I won’t give up on him like everyone else has; I won’t do it. I just...hope he's okay. And that he didn't hurt anyone. He's not thinking straight. Half the time he thinks he's still on the battlefield."
The reporter’s words caught her attention. “Word just in. SWAT has breached the building. The suspect has been arrested. No injuries or fatalities reported at this time.”
Arlene exhaled a long breath as she watched her husband being escorted from the building, safe and uninjured. He was alive. That was the part she would focus on today.
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WC: 799
*Just a little snippet. I'm thinking about revising and extending it into a full story so I'd love any feedback and crit.
**If you would like to read more of my stories, come check out r/ItsMeBay!
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u/lynx_elia Jul 05 '20
I'd read a full story of this. PTSD is such a difficult thing to handle for so many. I like what you did and where it was going. Well-rounded characters too.
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u/GammaGames Jul 04 '20
I would love an extended version! The characters are well written and I’m really interested to see where this goes, as well as how the husband acts
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u/QuiscoverFontaine Jul 02 '20
Hetty found the other guests slumped in chairs in the gloomy main drawing-room, all staring morosely at books or the walls or each other. Beyond the tall windows, the sun shone and blue was everywhere, but no one was in the mood to appreciate the ocean views the house was so famous for.
“Oh good, you’re all here,” she said, her voice faltering through her bright tone.
“Where else would we be?” Rupert asked derisively. “There’s nothing to do in this bloody house. Besides, doing anything feels rather disrespectful after Gerald... A bee sting of all things. Poor blighter.”
Hetty bit her lip. “About that. Well, there’s two things, actually. Did Gerald seem… different to any of you? Before he died, I mean. He was a friend of my father and I’d only met him a couple of times but something about his appearance, some of the things he said… It was all a bit off.”
“What do you mean?” Jonquil called from the end of the room, her chin idly propped in her hand.
“I mean I don’t think Gerald was quite who we thought he was. The man who invited us out here and who got us all to donate generous sums of money to his charity the day before he died was an imposter. It was all a ruse.”
Jonquil let out a quick snort of a laugh. “What nonsense! Of course it was Gerry. I’ve known him all my life.” She turned plaintively to her sister for confirmation, but Clarissa only frowned.
“That may be so, but it’s been an age since we last saw him. It must have been over fifteen years ago. He wasn’t wildly unlike the Gerry we knew, but I also couldn’t swear that that man absolutely was our cousin,” she said with a calm shrug.
Ambrose clicked his tongue, suddenly alert. “Now you mention it, a similar idea had crossed my mind. I’d not seen him since we were undergraduates and I thought he looked a bit different but I put it down to him cutting back on the drinking.”
“Oh come on now,” Rupert hissed. “A man had died. Show some respect. And, I grant you, him being my long-lost half-brother sounds like a wild story, but he had all the documents to prove it. Birth certificates and everything. He was genuine.”
Ambrose raised an eyebrow at this. “You’re right. It does sound wild. Like something out of a cheap adventure novel. Let me guess; he grew up abroad and had no other living relatives to corroborate his story?”
“Wait, wait, you said there were two things. What’s the second?” Rupert asked hurriedly. Sweat was beading along his moustache and there was a tremor in his hands as he lit another cigarette from the glowing tip of his first.
Hetty snatched up the second cigarette and took a drag. “This is where it gets interesting. I called the coroner’s office to ask a few questions and it turns out there’s already a death certificate for Gerald Fennimore dated to a few months ago. Significant head trauma from falling three storeys after defenestration. They ruled it as an accident, though I’d say it looks quite suspicious now. Also, he left everything to a single beneficiary in his will. I'd wager it’d been doctored in some fashion.
“More to the point, the coroner hadn’t seen any new bodies over this last week, let alone one who’d died of a bee sting. I’d say our host faked his death and vanished into the ether.”
“Oh, god. Poor Gerry. Murdered… how horrid.” Clarissa said quietly, wiping away tears.
“Another thing,” Hetty continued. “When was the last time any of you saw the housekeeper or that awful butler around here? I’ve not seen a whisker of them since yesterday morning. Or any of the other servants, for that matter.”
“Quite a while, now I think of it,” Ambrose said, sitting up a little straighter. “I thought it was a bit quiet around here. We weren’t sure where they all went.”
“I found the butler rather efficient,” Rupert muttered.
Jonquil scoffed. “But I was talking to the housekeeper before lunch that first day, Lisette or whatever her name was, and she said she’d been working for Gerald for years. She can’t have just-”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Jonty!” Clarissa spat. “She was lying. They were all lying. None of it was real. Not the party, not Gerald, probably not even the medics who took his body away.” She turned to Hetty, her face flushed and her jaw set. “What now? Is there anything we can do?”
Hetty’s eyes lit up. “There might be. Our false Gerald wasn’t quite as clever as he thought he was. He's left us quite an interesting little trail of breadcrumbs.”
-------------------------
799 words.
Blah, this was a tough week. I nearly gave up on 'blue was everywhere' (and I'm still not happy with it, but I was probably never going to be).
2
u/GammaGames Jul 01 '20 edited Jul 02 '20
AB
Once there were three witch sisters. They had been in brought up their entire lives being told that they would become the greatest witches in the kingdom, provding potions and herbal treatments as doctors or giving psychic readings to help guide the citizens of the realm.
One spring day Millie, the youngest sister, decided this would be a boring career path.
"That doesn't make sense," the oldest sister told Millie as she revealed her feelings. "We've been training our entire life to become witches."
"You've been training," Millie replied, "I've only been doing it for six years."
"What else would you even do," the middle sister said, "we know nothing else."
"I don't know," Millie said with a pause. "But I'm going to decide it for myself." She embarked on her mission to decide her own future, whatever it may be.
Before long she came upon an frail old woman begging in the streets. "Spare any change, dearie," the woman asked.
"I'm sorry," Millie told her. "I'm on my own, I don't even have any bread crumbs to give. I promise not to forget you though, I'll come back and help however I can in the future."
"That's nice of you," the old lady said. "I expect great things with an attitude like that." She didn't really expect the girl to follow through with her promise, but did mean the second part.
Millie continued her journey, eventually coming to a massive castle in a wealthy nation. "Baseball Team Signups Today - Apply Inside," a sign outside the gate read. Millie had played softball before, how different could this be? She went inside.
The coach was a half-giant, standing nearly fifteen feet tall and emanating an intimidating aura. "Hello there little one," she bellowed, "you here to sign up for the team as well?"
Millie nodded.
"Please line up over there," she said and pointed at a large crowd. Millie walked over and got behind the crowd.
"I'm Bella," a girl greeted as she approached.
"I'm Millie, can I hang out with you?"
"Of course," Bella replied. "I think we've got a good chance if we stick together."
The tryouts went well and the two held their own, Millie and Bella were the only two girls on the team.
Common hobby discovered, the duo became the best of friends. They went through school together, playing baseball alongside each other and growing up. They eventually graduated and earned full-ride scholarships for their prowess. Of course, they went to college together.
Millie and Bella each got jobs on the side of their studies and playing. Instead of keeping the earnings for themselves, they returned to the old woman and used it to help support her in her age.
"I knew you'd do great things," the woman said with tears in her eyes. "Thank you, dearies."
"No, thank you," Millie replied with a big hug, "for believing."
The baseball team won every game that year, earning their way to the College World Series. The coach praised them every step of the way, "You're amazing team! That trophy is as good as ours, keep up the good work." They did keep up the good work, working all the way to the final match against the Buxserry Bees.
But the team was losing steam and hope was drawing thin. One more strike and the other team would take home the trophy. Bella was already on third base shouting support, Millie just had to get her to home plate and tie the game. Trying for a home-run to win would be too risky.
Their family and friends cheered from the stands. "You can do this," the eldest shouted. "We know you can," the other sister added. The old woman remained quiet and watched.
Millie stepped up to the plate, the stadium's roar surrounding her and filled her with energy. The team's primary color, blue, was everywhere around her. She raised the bat.
The ball flew from the pitcher, she swung and missed. "Strike one," the catcher called.
"It's just one," the coach reassured, "you've still got more chances."
The ball came again and Millie swung a fraction of a second too late. "Strike two," the catcher called.
The stadium was quiet. The coach watched with a glimmer of hopeful anticipation and the old woman prayed in silence. The cup depended on this, victory or defeat rested on the balance of this swing. Millie took her stance.
The pitcher drew back and sprung forward, launching the ball. All at once it was as if time had slowed down, Millie could feel the perfect time to hit the ball.
Millie strained her muscles in a powerful swing. Her arms pulled forward to meet the incoming baseball and the bat squirmed free from her hand, flapping into the night.
WC798
I had to pull my inner Norm Macdonald out for this one. I wasn't sure on how to do the time skips but I think the --- dividers work. And of course, feedback welcome :)
2
u/lynx_elia Jul 05 '20
the bat squirmed free from her hand, flapping into the night
Loved the ending! Total surprise.
And yes, the dividers were fine for time skipping :)
2
4
u/JohnGarrigan Jun 30 '20
Blue was everywhere. Fucking everywhere. Powers could get weird, but this was over the top bizarre. As Steely Eyes stepped into the room and watched his whole costume turn blue. He swallowed the last corner of bread from his sandwich and glanced around, then turned to the officer besides the door.
“Yeah, you get used to it,” the officer replied to the unasked question. “Doctor Bee and some new kid. The blue has weird physics effects, but they disappear long before the blue does. Protopod ran an analysis and says it should be gone within eight hours.”
Steely sighed. “You are…?”
“Officer Johnson, sir. I arrived on scene as it was happening, but was unable to assist. I’m, uhhhh…allergic...”
Steely glanced around the room at the thousands of stingers in the wall and realized the issue. Doctor Bee could use his stingers to kill anyone, but someone allergic would die even if Bee pulled his punches.
“What about the victim?”
“Local slumlord. They defenestrated him and proceeded to—”
“They what?”
“Sorry, they threw him out the window.”
Steely Eyes pushed past the young officer and glanced out the window. “He lived?”
“Short fall into a dumpster, he’s fine.”
“Let’s talk to him.” Steely swirled his cape as he left the room. People went nuts for the cape swirl.
Downstairs he found the landlord being attended to. Having landed in a dumpster, he was more mentally harmed than physically. Steely sat him down and tried to get answers.
“I didn’t do anything.”
Steely sighed. Six questions in and that was all he could get. It was the answer to “How did the power work?” and “What did they do?” What was absolutely clear was that the landlord had, in fact, done something. Steely didn’t really care. A new player was in town. He needed details on the power.
“Lopez went in, he saw some of it.”
Steely glanced over at Johnson.
“Sorry, I got the gist of your questions and thought I could help.”
“Where is he now?”
“On another call.”
Steely gathered together some heroes while he called Lopez in. Two hours later, in one of the Arrowhead’s nice conference rooms, he sat at a table with Statuesque, Liberty, Civic, Protopod, and Lopez.
“Okay, so, from the top. Don’t make assumptions. Just explain what you saw and what you felt. Every detail may be important.” Statuesque explained, taking the lead.
“Right so, I’m approaching the door. From outside I had seen that the room was blue. As I got near it blue seemed to leach out under the door.”
“Hold on.” Civic held a hand up. “Was it blue light, or blue like the room interior.”
“Like the room interior.”
“Was it leaking uniformly or—”
“Civic, we’ll go over it several times, let’s move on,” Protopod interrupted.
Civic sighed, but said nothing more.
“Right so, I line up with my lead gun out, cause they’re villains, so its not like it will kill them, and when I kick the door down, everything gets trippy. I can’t really explain what I saw. Up was down. Left was right. I tried to line up the shot, but my arms moved the wrong way. Then I was being pulled into the room by an invisible force. Once I was in, it seemed like things made sense, but when I lined up and shot at Doctor Bee, my bullet, it…”
Lopez paused, struggling for words.
“It bloomed in midair, in slo-mo, like a hollow point hitting something invisible. Then Doctor Bee started unleashing stingers at me, but they went around me in wide arcs. Nothing hit me. The blue guy, he was, not normal colored but not blue like everything else. I think it might have just been his costume was blue, and he had blue face paint, he whispered something to Bee, then they ignored me and tossed the landlord out the window. Blue guy threw something at me, I blocked it, and they were gone. I called up my partner, but we weren’t sure where they went, and he could be killed by Bee, so we took it carefully, you know, securing the landlord and waiting for backup.”
“You did great,” Liberty said, leaning forward and favoring them with a smile. “No one died, and you provided us valuable intel on a new villain’s capabilities.”
Statuesque nodded. “Most of our confrontations end with villains getting away, not because we cannot take them, but because limiting civilian injury and death is our priority.”
Steely Eyes leaned back. “Yeah, knowledge is power and all that shit. Next time we’ll kick his ass.”
Statuesque cut off the conversation with a slice of his hand. “From the top. Blue was leaking under the door and…
Steely Eyes closed his eyes. It would be a long evening.
WC: 800 (whew)
More stories in this universe here
More in general at r/JohnGarrigan
2
u/GammaGames Jul 04 '20
I really liked the use of the constraints, and the descriptions and dialogue were really good
3
u/ohwhatirony Jul 05 '20 edited Jul 05 '20
Honey, I Saved the Bees
“Are you sure that much radiation is a good idea?” I raised my brows.
“It’s what Dr. Robinson ordered,” Charles shrugged as he put on a leaded apron. “He said it would encourage mutation in the bees and lengthen their life.”
“Still, just because you can doesn’t mean you should. We don’t even know what it’s going to do to them.”
“Yuki, that’s the whole point. The EPA grant gives us tons of leg room for experimentation. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
I slumped into my chair. The bees flitted around a glass case where they would receive the treatments. I didn’t really have that much pull as an intern.
“We doing this?” V burst into the room. They clutched a giant packet of papers in one hand and a sandwich in the other, a few bread crumbs falling out. It was a wonder that they had been working for Doc for so long; they were such a mess.
“I guess so,” I bit my lip.
“Why’d you go into research if you’re so scared?” V teased.
“Because I was looking to prevent another disaster, not cause one,” I spat.
V chuckled. “The longer you’re here, the easier it gets to clean up.” They dropped their papers on the table and their elbow bumped the dial… a bit too high.
My eyes widened. Not at the sheer number, but the instant drop in front of us. All ten bees dropped to the bottom of their case, legs twitching. The activity monitor stopped completely.
“No, no, no!” Charles called out. “Don’t die on us!” He immediately flipped the dial to zero.
Who knew that something would go wrong? “Great, we just lost ten bees. We’ve just added to the dying population,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Maybe not…” Charles pointed to the glass. I turned around. The bees weren’t dead. In fact, they were twitching, flipping back onto their feet.
Not only did they come back to life, but each bee swelled and grew ten feet long, shattering the glass case.
I stared back at twenty giant black eyes.
“RUN!”
V, Charles, and I dashed out of the room. I smashed the fire alarm. I knew I should have just done my internship at the health department!
Doctor Robinson swung the door open from his office. “What’s going on?!”
“Bees — big — radiation —” V stammered. “Run!”
Around the hallway corner, antennae the size of an M16 peeked around the corner. Bzzzz. The ground shook with each step. Screams echoed throughout the laboratory.
I scurried down the hallway, hardly looking back to see what was behind me. All I heard was panting and buzzing getting more faint. Finding a janitor’s closet, I pushed open the door and let Dr. Robinson in behind me, panic struck across his eyes.
The rest of the hallway was empty with none of my colleagues. We weren’t sure where they went.
“Should we…?” Doc asked. In our silence, I could tell that neither of us were trying to be noble. Giant bees? What could an intern and a professor do?
A crash resounded in the hallway, breaking down the door of our sanctuary. Doc cussed and spun on his heel, ready to run.
But a doctorate program doesn’t have a physical education requirement.
The bee bent down, snapping its jaws, and picked up Doc who was now screeching in pain. I watched in awe as the bee defenestrated Doc out the balcony window. Glass shattered. Blood spattered across the hallway. I couldn’t interpret what just happened, or where my colleagues went. I just jumped.
—
The artist pressed makeup to my face. Today, I had my first interview with a national news crew. An entire laboratory destroyed by bees with seventeen victims dead is bound to draw attention.
I don’t know how much contouring would improve the scrapes and cuts on my face.
A young reporter entered my hospital room with her microphone in hand. I could see the beads of sweat on her head. Maybe she was an intern like me.
“Ready?” She nodded at both me and the cameraman, who gave her a thumbs up.
“Hi, I’m Alison Forsythe with NBC News. Today we have Yuki Hotaru, an intern caught up in the laboratory tragedy. How are you doing, Yuki?”
“Quite terrible, thanks.”
She tossed her head back in a clearly fake laugh. “Tell us about the experiment you guys were working on.”
“We had a grant from the EPA to use radiation to conserve the bee population. Of course, we didn’t anticipate a lab accident of this magnitude. Ironically, we didn’t just save the bees.” I drew in a breath. “We made… Zombees.”
wc: 747