r/WritingPrompts • u/MajorParadox Mod | DC Fan Universe (r/DCFU) • Jan 20 '19

Moderator Post [MODPOST] 13 Million Subscriber "Superstition" Contest - Round 1 Voting

Attention: All top-replies to this post must be a vote.

Any non-vote comments must be made as replies to the sticky comment below.

Woo, time for voting! 104 entries totaling 307,538 words!

Before we start, let's all make sure we know how this works.

Voting Guidelines:

  • Only those who entered can vote.
  • If you don't vote, you can't win
  • Each group votes for stories in another group (Group A votes for B, B for C...)
  • Read each entry in your voting group and decide which three are the best

  • Leave a top-level comment here starting with your top three votes for your voting group:

    Feel free to add any feedback for the stories after the votes

  • Deadline for votes are Saturday, February 9th, 2019 at 11:59PM PDT (http://www.worldtimebuddy.com/) (https://time.is/PT)

Group A

Group A will be reading and voting for a winner from group B

Group B

Group B will be reading and voting for a winner from group C

Group C

Group C will be reading and voting for a winner from group D

Group D

Group D will be reading and voting for a winner from group E

Group E

Group E will be reading and voting for a winner from group F

Group F

Group F will be reading and voting for a winner from group G

Group G

Group G will be reading and voting for a winner from group H

Group H

Group H will be reading and voting for a winner from group I

Group I

Group I will be reading and voting for a winner from group J

Group J

Group J will be reading and voting for a winner from group A

Next Steps:

  • Winners of each group will move to final voting round
  • Everyone who entered will be able to vote in final round
  • Random gold will be given to voters!
  • Winners will be announced, prizes awarded, and we'll all celebrate!

Questions? Feel free to ask as a reply to the sticky comment!

Want to check out previous contests? Check the wiki!

Want to chat with us? Come join the Discord!

167 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

354 comments sorted by

1

u/QuarkLaserdisc Feb 06 '19 edited Feb 07 '19

I'm voting for group B. There was a good deal of talent displayed in this group and I enjoyed reading everyone's entry.  

1st place: u/rarelyfunny in group B for "The Hidden Folk"

2nd place: u/PerilousPlatypus in group B for "The Gates of Fortune"

3rd place: u/BLT_WITH_RANCH in group B for "Dark Mirror"

1

u/rarelyfunny Feb 07 '19

Thank you for the vote!!

1

u/awesome-yes Jan 21 '19

1st Place: u/Steven_Lee in group D for "The Best You Can is Good Enough" 2nd Place: u/WahooD89 in group D for "The Lean" 3rd Place: u/CMDRjonay in group D for "Within the Flakes"

1st u/Steven_Lee - There was 1 thing that elevated your story above the rest - the subtle way the superstition requirement was woven into the narrative, especially the way she knocks on wood for good luck before encountering the bad superstition. I love that it's set in reality and not fantastic in anyway (at least so far). Multiple characters are fully developed and each has a place in the world. The conflict is personal and "global". A risk in a community that generally doesn't favor reality fiction - well done.

2nd u/WahooD89 - I like that your character is so focused on his own problems he ends up getting himself in big trouble without realizing it. In very few words you have me sympathizing with a criminal plotting to commit crime!

3rd u/CMDRjonay - This was soooooo close. Flawless right up to the notice at the end - took me right out of your world and made it seem like SCP fan fiction, at the same time if this were on SCP I'd be gobbling it up!

The rest, in no particular order - All were easy to read, I fully expected to feel some burnout after reading 10 stories but they were all unique and well thought out!

4th and Linden - u/Ford9863 - loved the little details, really made me feel this was chapter 1 of a larger story. I didn't really feel a "hook" to empathize with the characters, but I would gladly keep reading to see if it showed up later.

He Who Walks Between the Pines - u/potatowithaknife - very nice. I feel like I understand the basic rules and history of your world, and it was all done through a monologue that never felt expository. Even though the demon clearly isn't defeated, the resolution to the immediate problem felt rushed for a first chapter.

Abyss - u/digitallyfree - I liked the sci-fi setting. The black cat seemed to be in the story because it had to be, not because it was important to any of the characters or plot. Would have liked to know more about the backstory and the wider structure of the in story universe, felt like that was lacking.

The Girl's Room - u/Strawberry-Sunrise - I liked the pace, the characterization, and the details about the physical world. I got lost in the spirit aspect of the story, it seemed to affect the character as much as a flat tire on the way to work, but there wasn't a background to portray her as someone who is familiar with ghosts.

Forgotten Floor - u/DJMan92 - An interesting narrative, I envision a story where the character uses experiences from his dreams to affect the real world. Only problem I had was the events of the first chapter only affect Erik, he had a dream, and he's the only one affected by his experience in class. There's no sense that he "cares", or that bigger things are afoot.

"Pharaoh' Servant" - u/T_KThompson - I have a clear vision of you browsing reddit while watching Super Troopers, seeing the contest parameters, and rushing to an old type writer laughing manically about how cliche the black cat is in superstition shouting "I'll show them!" Fun to read, and the story did not suffer for it. Did seem more like a prologue than a first chapter, like the story hasn't actually started yet.

A Mirrored Path - u/WokCano - The cats position in the story is flawless, although it immediately draws up thoughts of Salem from Sabrina - which either spoils the surprise reveal, or is a little underserved if it was the intended reveal, and completely misleading if your character isn't a witch that doesn't know it yet. It also feels like the problems revealed in the beginning are going to be ignored now that she is entering a "brave new world" - this is a little sad without context, the idea that she is running away from a life that can't get any better.

1

u/Steven_Lee Jan 22 '19

Thank you! So happy that you liked my story!!

1

u/Ford9863 Jan 23 '19 edited Jan 23 '19

First Place: u/Mister_Thursday in group E for "Snake Eyes".

Second Place: u/ghost_write_the_whip in group E for "Chaun".

Third Place: u/nerdicorgi in group E for "The Cauldron".

Snake Eyes: I loved everything about this. Your writing style, the pacing, the character--it's all great. And the piece was as polished as I've seen; I genuinely have no criticisms. Very well done.

Chaun: Oh boy, let me tell you. I dont think "close second" comes anywhere near how hard this choice was. In the end, it came down to some small errors here and there in your piece--probably things you'd have noticed with another round of editing or two. But the story itself is fantastic. Oh, and by the way, I absolutely love the opening line. Bravo.

The Cauldron: I really like the character you've created here. Kara is relatable and believable. And your writing is great. I'm just not sure it has quite enough of the hook I'm looking for. It just doesnt seem to have enough of a direction to it, if that makes sense. Even so, great work! You've earned my number 3 spot, and that's no small feat!

1

u/ghost_write_the_whip Jan 23 '19

Aww thanks, glad you enjoyed :)

1

u/Mister_Thursday Jan 23 '19

I'm glad you like it! Thanks so much for the vote, and best of luck in your group.

1

u/nerdicorgi Jan 23 '19

Thank you for the feedback. I appreciate it very much, and your vote!

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

1st Place in group F: u/Dietri for "The Thirteenth Hour"

2nd Place in group F: u/TheCatsWeom for "The Grimalkin"

3rd Place in group F: u/hey_its_that_1_chick for "Burned"

1

u/hey_its_that_1_chick Jan 21 '19

Wow thanks for the vote! I haven't shared any of my writings in a long time and it means a lot that you liked it!

1

u/TheCatsWeom Jan 22 '19

Thanks for reading and voting! I'm glad you liked it :)

1

u/Dietri Jan 21 '19

Thank you for the vote! So glad that you enjoyed my story!

1

u/charlyrdarwin Feb 05 '19

1st Place: u/Llamia in group F for "Evil Eyes"

2nd Place: u/hey_its_that_1_chick in Group F for "Burned"

3rd Place: u/Palmerranian in group F for "Shadows"

1

u/hey_its_that_1_chick Feb 06 '19

Hey thanks so much for the vote!

1

u/nickofnight Jan 25 '19 edited Jan 25 '19

First Place in group J: u/ecstaticandinsatiate for Gods' Omens. - Solid writing with some beautiful prose sprinkled in, great world-building, and I appreciated how you threw us right into the plot. I was drawn into the world and the Gods.

Second Place in group J: u/LisWrites for all of Our Lives. - I'm a sucker for a gothic-type horror, and you did a great job with this. I do wish it had kept that feel right to the end, but the change did make me wonder about where it's going with the next chapter.

Third Place in group J: u/Inorai for Catalyst of Change. - Great character(s), and once the plot got moving, it got moving.

Honourable mention for Broken Sigils - it would have made my top three if not for a few specific issues, like the clarity at the start.

I've left further comments on everyone's stories. I really enjoyed getting the chance to read so many different authors and see so many creative ideas, and it was honestly difficult to decide on winners. In the stories I didn't mention, there were plots and styles and prose that I loved, but other areas of them that weren't quite as strong (for me), making them overall weaker than the above stories.

1

u/LisWrites Jan 26 '19

Thanks Nick!

1

u/ecstaticandinsatiate Jan 25 '19

Thanks for the vote Mr. Night. Good luck in your group

1

u/nickofnight Jan 25 '19

Keep at it and you could be the next Dan Brown

1

u/ecstaticandinsatiate Jan 25 '19

Anything but that 😬

1

u/mialbowy Jan 24 '19

1st Place: u/nickofnight in group I for “Last Light”

2nd Place: u/JackalRelated in group I for “Lawyers and Black Cats Are Both Bad Luck”

3rd Place: u/tallonetales in group I for “The Mirrors of Providence”

1

u/nickofnight Jan 24 '19

Thanks for the vote, Mial! Best of luck in your group

1

u/JackalRelated Jan 24 '19

Thanks for the vote! I remember reading your submission (since it was one of the first ones) and I greatly enjoyed it. Are you planning on continuing it?

1

u/mialbowy Jan 24 '19

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. I have a few things queued up, but this is one of them, so I should get to it eventually. Just, not any time soon.

1

u/LadyLuna21 Feb 06 '19

1st place: /u/EnemyOfAnEnemy in group H for Merchant of Misfortune

2nd place: /u/Dimitri1033 in group H for The Night Crew

3rd place: /u/houseblendmedium in group H for The International Paranormal Group

I enjoyed reading everyone's stories!

1

u/EnemyOfAnEnemy Feb 07 '19

Thank you so much for the vote! Glad you enjoyed the story!!!

1

u/Lazarus_Pits Jan 21 '19 edited Feb 08 '19

1st Place: u/XcessiveSmash in group C for "A Matter of Luck "

2nd Place: u/awesome-yes in group C for "Juggernaut"

3rd Place: u/The_Hive_Mind18 in Group C for "The Spirit of the Looking Glass"

Like some other users have said about other groups, these were some very difficult choices to make. If I could have, I most likely would have tied some of the entries that didn't place. I would definitely read the followups to these.

1

u/awesome-yes Jan 22 '19

Honored to get your vote, thanks!

1

u/Lazarus_Pits Jan 22 '19

Thanks for the story!

1

u/XcessiveSmash Jan 22 '19

Thank you very much for the vote, glad you enjoyed the story so much!

1

u/A_CGI_for_ants Feb 10 '19

First place: u/XcessiveSmash in group C for "A Matter of Luck"

2nd place: u/CHRlSTALMIGHTY in group C for "The Witch of the Midwest"

3rd place: u/Ninies-Reads in group C for "Ramona's Adventure"

1

u/prof_apex Feb 10 '19 edited Feb 10 '19

1st place: u/Pubby88 in group A for "The Fatebreaker Chronicles"

2nd place: u/Phischi in group A for "Powerful Magic"

3rd place: u/QuarkLaserdisc in group A for "A Super Stition"

There were a lot of fantastic entries in group A; I'm a little sad I can only pick 3.

1

u/Pubby88 Feb 10 '19

Thanks for the vote! Glad you enjoyed it.

1

u/QuarkLaserdisc Feb 10 '19

Awesome sauce! Thanks for the vote!

1

u/writes-on-a-whim Feb 10 '19

1st Place: u/XcessiveSmash in group C for “A Matter of Luck”

2nd Place: u/The_Hive_Mind18 in group C for “The Spirt of the Looking Glass”

3rd Place: u/CHRISTALMIGHTY in group C for “The Witch of the Midwest”

I’ll add my notes for each prompt as soon as I can!

1

u/The_Hive_Mind18 Feb 10 '19

Thanks for the vote!

1

u/Dimitri1033 Feb 10 '19

1st Place: u/nazna in Group I for FEVER.

This one just immediately grabbed me with how strange and fascinating it was. The writing was very simple and straight forward, but I feel like that added so much to the story. This one stood out to me the most because it left me wanting more.

2nd Place: u/Gloryndria in Group I for Inheritance

This one hit me on a personal level. The description of the hospital and the surrounding family, and brought me back to a time that I too had to watch a relative pass away in a hospital bed. The use of language, even if it was very foreign, would've normally brought me out of the story, but for whatever reason it help set the tone that much more for me.

3rd Place: u/LiquidBeagle in Group I for Bad Luck, Good Business

This was a very fun piece to read. It gave me loads of Good Omens vibes, also a piece that I would love to see more from. Several times it made me literally laugh out loud.

1

u/LiquidBeagle Feb 11 '19

Thanks for the great feedback. I just read Good Omens a few months ago, and it heavily influenced what I was going for with this one. :)

1

u/Gloryndria Feb 10 '19

Wow, thank you so much for your vote! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

1

u/ecstaticandinsatiate Feb 10 '19

1st Place: u/ThreeDucksInAManSuit in Group A for "Devils of the Deep"
2nd Place: u/ubereuphoria in Group A for "Waltz Through the Bardo"
3rd Place: u/TemporaryPatch in Group A for "A Night at Skyler Mansion"

Also honorable mension to u/TA_Account_12 for incorporating the omen theme so thoroughly and effectively. <3

I have two pieces of crit left that I will give tomorrow! :) Thanks to everyone who participated for the chance to read your work.

1

u/ThreeDucksInAManSuit Feb 10 '19

Thank you for your vote! Best of luck on your own entry.

1

u/BlackJezus27 Feb 10 '19

1st place: u/breadyly in Group A for "Why Do We Fall?"

2nd place: u/ThreeDucksInAManSuit in Group A for "Devils of the Deep"

3rd place: u/Farengeto in Group A for "The Lamp Codex"

1

u/breadyly Feb 10 '19

tysm for the vote !!

1

u/Farengeto Feb 10 '19

Thank you for the vote!

1

u/LiquidBeagle Feb 10 '19

1st Place in group J: u/ecstaticandinsatiate for “Gods’ Omens”

2nd Place in group J: u/blackjezus27 for “Luck Understood"

3rd Place in group J: u/veryedible for “Savage Matter”

1

u/BlackJezus27 Feb 10 '19

Thanks for the vote!!!

1

u/ecstaticandinsatiate Feb 10 '19

Thanks for the vote, and good luck in your group! :)

1

u/potatowithaknife Feb 10 '19

First place - "Chaun" - u/ghost_write_the_whip

Second place - "Snake Eyes" - u/Mister_Thursday

Third place - "A Haunt, By Any Other Name" - u/Shadowyugi

Nice responses, and plenty of enjoyable stories. If you'd like a detailed review of your story, please just let me know.

1

u/ghost_write_the_whip Feb 10 '19

Hey thanks for the vote, glad you enjoyed!

1

u/TA_Account_12 Feb 09 '19

1st place: Group B - The Hidden Folk - u/rarelyfunny

2nd place: Group B - Picking Up The Pieces - u/AshSorrow

3rd place: Group B - Imposters - u/Lazarus_Pits

Some really excellent stories in this group. Also honorable mentions to Dark Mirrors - u/BLT_WITH_RANCH and The Gates of Fortune - u/PerilousPlatypus

1

u/DJMan92 Feb 09 '19

1: /u/Shadowyugi in Group E for A Haunt, By Any Other Name

2: /u/ghost_write_the_whip in Group E for Chuan

3: /u/Mister_Thursday in Group E for Snake Eyes

1

u/TenspeedGV Feb 09 '19

1st place: u/Strawberry-Sunrise in Group D for "The Girl's Room"

2nd place: u/Ford9863 in Group D for "4th and Linden"

3rd place: u/WahooD89 in Group D for "The Lean"

1

u/Ford9863 Feb 09 '19

Thanks for the vote, tens!

→ More replies (1)

1

u/ujustgotplayedmydude Feb 09 '19 edited Feb 09 '19

GROUP: I

1st Place: /u/nickofnight in group I for "Last Light"

2nd Place: /u/tallonetales in group I for "The Mirrors of Providence"

3rd Place: /u/denatured_enzyme_ in group I for "East Meets West"

I really enjoyed all of the stories. Sorry I did not leave feedback, however, if you would like any reply to this or PM me. Best of luck in the competition.

1

u/Farengeto Feb 09 '19

Just a heads up since I noticed it, you're missing the second _ on u/denatured_enzyme_. Might want to fix it just in case.

(You're not even the only one to do that typo, actually.)

1

u/ujustgotplayedmydude Feb 09 '19

Fixed it, thanks!

1

u/iruleatants Feb 09 '19

1st place: u/jklimerence in Group G for "Icarus"

2nd place: u/Mohtaccuto in Group G for "Maneki-neko"

3rd place: u/milkbeamgalaxia in Group G for "The Glass Ceiling"

1

u/Mohtaccuto Feb 09 '19 edited Feb 09 '19

Thanks for the vote! (Edit: sorry, got mixed up on who’d left feedback...)

1

u/Pubby88 Feb 09 '19

Voting for Group B:

1st Place: The Hidden Folk - u/rarelyfunny This was quite good. You managed to have a well developed world without too much telling. All and all a nice blend of fantasy and cop procedural which hit all the right notes for me.

2nd Place: Dark Mirrors - u/BLT_WITH_RANCH Another very good entry, with good prose and a interesting story and world. This missed out on first place on more personal preference than anything else; between The Hidden Folk and Dark Mirrors, I'd happily read both books but would take the cop-procedural over the straight fantasy if forced to choose just one.

3rd Place: She Had Green Eyes - u/shhimwriting I liked thus one quite a bit. The prose was a little clunky in spots and I felt like the dialogue could use a second read and revision, so that kept it out of the top spots for me. But it had good characterization overall, and a good take on the superstition prompt.

1

u/shhimwriting Feb 10 '19

Thank you :)

1

u/Pubby88 Feb 09 '19 edited Feb 09 '19

Honorable mentions:

The Gates of Fortune - u/PerilousPlatypus The first part of this was fantastic, but the second part wasn't as strong. The interactions with the other girl seemed to come out of no where and didn't feel like they fit with the rest of the chapter. Still, this one almost grabbed the third place spot on the strength of the first scene - it was that good.

Judas in Blood - u/Runningstar The trick of building to the reveal for a whole chapter is that the reveal has to be good enough to justify the wait. Having it be vampires was okay, but the manner of the reveal in the last paragraph had the effect of ramping things down rather than up. Still, the rest of this was enjoyable, although the transitions for his various cover stories were a little tough to follow.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '19

1st Place: /u/Steven_Lee in Group D for "The Best You Can is Good Enough "

2nd Place: /u/WahooD89 in Group D for "The Lean"

3rd Place: /u/Strawberry-Sunrise in Group D for "The Girl's Room"

1

u/Ninies-Reads Feb 09 '19

1st place: u/Strawberry-Sunrise in group D for ‘The Girl’s Room’ 2nd place: u/WahooD89 in group D for ‘The Lean’ 3rd place: u/T_KThompson in group D for ‘The Pharoh’ Servant’

1

u/T_KThompson Feb 09 '19

Thanks for the vote! I appreciate it.

1

u/Palmerranian Feb 09 '19

1st Place: u/Lilwa_Dexel in Group G for "The Veil of Ice"

2nd Place: u/Mohtaccuto in Group G for "Maneki-neko"

3rd Place: u/elfboyah in Group G for "I only wish I had a cliche adventure"

Honorary Mention: u/milkbeamgalaxia for "The Glass Ceiling"

 

Voting done! Great stories all around in Group G. There were some really tough decisions to be made. Particularly, the gap between my 3rd place vote and my honorary mention was very small.

I wrote a lot of notes on each story, and I'll be posting all of that feedback on the story posts themselves within the next few days.

Thank you to all of the people that wrote, and to the mods for organizing the contest. Good luck to all!

1

u/Mohtaccuto Feb 09 '19

Thanks for the vote, and thanks again for the feedback over on the story post!

1

u/elfboyah Feb 09 '19

Awwww, thank you for the vote, Palm <3

And also looking forward to the feedback!

1

u/Lilwa_Dexel Feb 09 '19

Thank you so much the vote! <3

Looking forward to hearing your feedback.

1

u/chillichillman Feb 09 '19

1st place: u/autok for Beyond the Edge of Reason

2nd place: u/LiquidBeagle for Bad Luck, Good Business

3rd place: u/denatured_enzyme for East Meets West

1

u/autok Feb 09 '19

Thanks for the vote! :D

1

u/RecommendAUsername Feb 08 '19

1st Place: u/Pubby88 in group A for "The Fatebreaker Chronicles"

2nd Place: /u/ThreeDucksInAManSuit in group A for "Devils of the Deep"

3rd Place: u/WrittenThought in group A for "Frankie and Fel"

1

u/Pubby88 Feb 09 '19

Thank you for the vote! I'm glad you liked it.

1

u/RecommendAUsername Feb 10 '19

I actually had to post my vote before I could finish writing up my feedback, but I'll comment in the stories sometime in the coming days.

1

u/advo-CAT-usDiaboli Feb 08 '19

1st place: u/The_Hive_Mind18 in group C for "the spirit of the looking glass"

2nd place: u/ScriptyBazaar in group C for "flick her"

3rd place: u/-Anyar- in group C for "a curious case of cholera-leprosy"

1st place: u/The_Hive_Mind18 LOVEDDDD the way the story was laid out, consistent language with time frame and great development. Would read the next chapter for sure, the type of book I would buy in hardcover. Rarely feel scared when reading but this had an eerie feeling without going overboard and I definitely avoided looking in mirrors that night! Great work. Pleasure to read, best use of language.

2nd: u/ScriptyBazaar The mention of "I will haunt you" had me immediately assuming that it was done by him, but the use of modern tech and flowing story line made it that i wasnt focused on that at all as the story was so relatable. Kind of forgot about my initial assumption because I was drawn in by the story line. Still got chills when the twist was revealed!! Onlyyyy issue (and probably not a sticking point for many) was the fixation on Diyas breasts. The way he objectified her didn't necessarily add to the story line, and alienated me a bit. Like I said, its unlikely to be a major issue at all, just something personally that made me remember I was reading a story, as opposed to being completely involved in the movie in my mind. Enjoyed reading it none the less!!! Ps. We all know a Gail. Damn Gail.

3rd: u/-Anyar- Enjoyed your world building! Would have kept reading without giving it much thought, the story flowed well. I didnt think I would like the combination of the two diseases, but it ended up being just as effective as if you had used a disease you made up. Made me miss his wife too :( only thing I would nit pick at was the last sentence, I found it ended a bit abruptly, but it really wasnt a deal breaker as you could still tell it was the end of a chapter

Edited: grammar, phrasing

1

u/ScriptyBazaar Feb 11 '19

Thanks for the 2nd place vote, much obliged!

Regarding the objectification regarding Diya, I agree it might be a turn off for some readers but I do feel it was a reflection of the main character's attitudes toward not just woman but people in general, a hint of who he was before the reveal.

Thank you for your thoughts, glad it kept your interest. Cheers!

1

u/-Anyar- Feb 09 '19

Thank you, I'm honored! I really appreciate the comments, they're always a delight to read. And I agree wholeheartedly with your critique as well. :)

1

u/The_Hive_Mind18 Feb 08 '19

Wow, thank you so much for the vote and the great review

1

u/gliggett Feb 08 '19

1st group C u/Ninies-Reads - Ramona's Adventure

2nd group C u/The_Hive_Mind18 - The Spirit of the Looking Glass

3rd group C u/popdabomb - The Essential Hair

1

u/The_Hive_Mind18 Feb 08 '19

Thanks for the vote!

1

u/shhimwriting Feb 07 '19 edited Feb 08 '19

1st Place: u/awesome-yes in group C for "Juggernaut."
2nd Place: u/The_Hive_Mind18 in group C for "The Spirit of the Looking Glass."
3rd Place: u/-Anyar- in group C for "A Curious Case of Cholera-Leprosy"

I chose these entries because, in addition to being creative, original, and well-written, they truly felt like first chapters. Well done and good luck :)

1

u/-Anyar- Feb 08 '19

Thanks, I'm honored. Good luck to you too!

1

u/awesome-yes Feb 07 '19

Honored to get your vote, thanks! Also, double thanks for posting feedback on all entries in the group. I love that this community is open to and gives soo much constructive criticism.

→ More replies (1)

1

u/T_KThompson Feb 07 '19

1st Place: /u/Georgehirokawa in group E for "Step on a Crack"

2nd Place: /u/ghost_write_the_whip in group E for "Chaun"

3rd Place: /u/Shadowyugi in group E for "A Haunt, by any other name"

1

u/ThreeDucksInAManSuit Feb 07 '19

1st Place: /u/advo-CAT-usDiaboli in group B for "The mirror"

2nd Place: /u/PerilousPlatypus in group B for "The Gates of Fortune"

3rd Place: /u/A_CGI_for_ants in group B for "Tiger the Jet Black Cat on a Journey to Escape the 13th story of a Hilton Before the True End of the World."

u/advo-CAT-usDiaboli - Excellent working in of description without overblowing the story like many of the entries did, forgetting this is supposed to be a chapter 1 and you have to read a whole book of this. Your vote wins it for the sense of character I got not just from your MC, but for her entire environment.

u/PerilousPlatypus - You were loosing me a bit there until you introduced Gwen. She was instantly likeable and it was impressive how you told me everything I needed to know about her character without talking down to me. Excellent 'show not tell'. Good sense of mystery interwoven in a story of passing down generations.

u/A_CGI_for_ants - That's quite the title, thank god for copy paste. It's a huge challenge writing from a non human persepctive because you have to make the actions and setting clear but also describt it through an alien window. You did a pretty good job here, though you did stray into 'cat with a human mind' territory once or twice. You get my vote because if I had read this as chapter 1 of a book, I would want to keep reading. Well done.

1

u/AmandaQuirky Feb 06 '19

1st Place is u/LadyLuna21 in Group G for "Mirror Mirror"

2nd Place is u/Mohtaccuto in Group G for "Maneki-Neko"

3rd Place is u/jklimerence in Group G for "Icarus"

Wonderful stories; I enjoyed reading each one immensely.

I'll write more later, but suffice it to say I had difficulty choosing between these tales :)

1

u/Mohtaccuto Feb 07 '19

Thanks, I really appreciate it!

→ More replies (2)

1

u/LadyLuna21 Feb 06 '19

Thank you for the vote!

→ More replies (2)

1

u/WrittenThought Feb 06 '19

GROUP B:

1st Place: u/shhimwriting for "She Had Green Eyes"

2nd Place: u/Lazarus_Pits for "Imposters"

3rd Place: u/BLT_WITH_RANCH for "Dark Mirrors"

I went with my gut on these. I gave feedback to a couple of the group, but work has made combing through these stories almost impossible. I instead took off my writing hat and tried to enjoy the stories. Thank you everyone for keeping me entertained, and best of luck with the competition.

1

u/shhimwriting Feb 07 '19

Oh my goodness, thank you so much! Good luck to you as well :)

1

u/MajorParadox Feb 06 '19

Happy Cake Day!

1

u/Runningstar Feb 04 '19

1st Place: u/squidster547 in group C for "Wisdom & Might"

2nd Place: u/XcessiveSmash in group C for "A Matter Of Luck"

3rd Place: u/BiscuitMeniscus2727 in Group C for "Mr. Nostalgia"

1

u/ThisEmptySoul Feb 04 '19

For those I haven't given feedback to yet, I'll try to get to it when I can. I just wanted to be sure to at least get the vote in before the deadline. As for my choices, it took some serious thought. I read each entry at least twice to give them full consideration. There were things I liked about each to where my top three would be quite different depending on what I gave the most weight to. It makes me wish I had more specific criteria to focus on as a judge (other than what I think is "best") so I wouldn't feel as bad leaving out stories that had excellent qualities in their own right.

In the end, I decided to go with what I felt had high marks in all plot, style, pacing, and editing. These stories also stuck with me long after reading them and likely will beyond the contest.

1

u/ThreeDucksInAManSuit Feb 10 '19

Thank you so much for your vote and best of luck in your category!

1

u/WokCano Feb 04 '19

This was a fun contest to write for and I enjoyed reading the entries. My top 3 were all very close and it took me a while to decide the order, I enjoyed all 3 of them very much.

**1st Place**: u/Shadowyugi in Group E for "A Haunt, By Any Other Name"

**2nd Place**: u/ghost_write_the_whip in Group E for "Chuan"

**3rd Place**: u/Mister_Thursday in Group E for "Snake Eyes"

It was really difficult to choose for me but I was grasped by the world in Haunt and definitely wanted to read more. Chuan was such a lovely idea and really spun the concept beautifully. Snake Eyes took the core concept of superstitious bad luck and really condensed it into something tantalizing.

Good work to everyone.

1

u/Mister_Thursday Feb 04 '19

Thanks for the vote! I'm glad that you enjoyed my stuff. Good luck in your group!

1

u/Errorwrites Feb 04 '19 edited Feb 07 '19

1st Place: /u/PhantomOfZePirates in group for Shattered.

2nd Place: u/nickofnight in group I for Last Light.

3rd Place: /u/denatured_enzyme_ in group I for East Meets West.

This was a hard group since many had great ideas and interesting stories. I struggled for a while to think up better criteria than "which ones I liked the most" since I just ran in circles.

"East Meets West" had a clear plot with the superstition theme blaring. You couldn't miss it. I really liked the dialogues shared between Madam Tan and her son. They felt real and natural when you throw in their cultural background. There was an ominous feeling throughout the story which culminated at the end with the incident. The incident not being of supernatural cause was refreshing, grounding the story and making me doubt and think maybe it was just a bad coincidence. That sense of uncertainty is really wonderful to me as a reader. I like that a lot.

What I would have liked more was a tighter and stronger prose. There were instances of a created distance between the reader and the characters, which was often the result of passive verbs and too quick of a jump in transition. Polishing the narrative and consistency of the writing would improve the story greatly. A few more proof-reads would also be recommended.

"Last Light" was to be honest goddamn' strong. The quality of the language was solid and the world intrigued me. I really liked the scene with the darkness coiling around the lighthouse. The sense of acute danger mixed with bewilderment when Olivia and Kian found the exit blocked was exhilarating. The pacing was great and the small tidbits of world shown through the interaction between Olivia and Kian was well done.

When I reminisce about the story, I could only remember tons of good stuff. There was only one thing that rubbed me the wrong way and it was how the chapter ended. The pacing faltered a bit there, with a new reveal shown either too much or too little before the scene ending. It left me puzzled.

"Shattered" was the winner but not by a big margin. Every story fought with tooth and nail and the last one standing, was in my opinion, was the one with the most solid writing and plot structure. I still remember the three-cut in the beginning, throwing the reader into the story with force and shock. Much like how Celia reacted when she heard the news. The tension building in the background was great, especially the strange interaction between Celia and her mother.

When I think back on the story, I couldn't find any major faults. Sure, small tid-bits of wordiness and and one instance of PoV/time-confusion but other than that. Nothing majorly, nothing big that stuck out.

To me, this was the sturdiest submission.

1

u/Farengeto Feb 07 '19

Quick thing I noticed, your third place vote should be u/denatured_enzyme_. Missed the extra _. Might want to fix it so you don't have problems with the ballot.

→ More replies (1)

1

u/PhantomOfZePirates Feb 04 '19

Thank you so much for the vote and taking the time to leave such thoughtful feedback! <3

1

u/ghost_write_the_whip Feb 03 '19 edited Feb 06 '19

1st Place: u/Llamia in group F for "Evil Eyes"

2nd Place: u/hey_its_that_1_chick in Group F for "Burned"

3rd Place: u/novatheelf in Group F for “The Parting Glass”

Honorable mention: u/Dietri for “The Thirteenth Hour”

Thanks everyone, this was a lot of fun! I am slowly going through each story and attempting to leave more detailed feedback on the original submission posts. If I haven't gotten to you yet and you want some feedback next let me know and I'll try to prioritize :)

Some quick feedback for my top choices:

“Evil Eyes”

What this chapter lacks in polish it makes up for in sheer ambition. In just one chapter, the amount of world-building and story that has been established is impressive. The hook at the end indicates all the makings of a classic tale of revenge coupled as a coming of age story. More please :)

“Burned”

I really like the start of the story. Not only did it have me engaged, it characterized your protagonist really well. In general, I appreciated how you let you let the actions of your characters define them. There were some rougher patches of the piece, such as using dialogue for exposition dumps, which made the character conversations feel a bit forced/ unnatural. Still, I loved the twist at the end and the hook into a larger story with what promises to be a very big problem for poor Haven. Well done!

“The Parting Glass”

A very strong narrative voice and good pacing, this story was an effortless and enjoyable read, and in my opinion the most polished in the group. I especially liked that it had something that most stories in this group were missing: characters with personality and chemistry! I'm eager to see how the brother's dynamic translates into exploring a new dimension.

“The Thirteenth Hour”

An interesting premise. I really enjoyed seeing the contrast of neighborhood street between day and night. Plenty of mystery surrounding the main hook and I wanted to explore this world more to see the effects of the strange phenomenon. I also want to learn more about Frederick's life, which appears to be escalating up to his confrontation with the unknown entity terrorizing his town.

1

u/hey_its_that_1_chick Feb 04 '19

Wow! Thanks not only for the vote but the great criticism as well! I understand what you mean about the dialogue, since it is only a first chapter and with such a large idea, I was worried about leaving readers confused. I'll definitely have to work on it!

→ More replies (1)

1

u/Llamia Feb 03 '19 edited Aug 27 '25

smart grandiose quaint edge roll fearless aspiring weather cooperative aware

→ More replies (1)

1

u/Gloryndria Feb 03 '19

1st Place: /u/LisWrites in group J for " All of Our Lives "

2nd Place: /u/Inorai in group J for "Catalyst of Change"

3rd Place: /u/schlitzntl in group J for " A Most Violent Awakening "

Honorable Mention : /u/BlackJezus27 for " Luck Understood" (I just love your concept)

1

u/BlackJezus27 Feb 10 '19

Thanks for the HM!

1

u/Inorai Feb 03 '19

Thank you for the vote <3

1

u/EnemyOfAnEnemy Feb 02 '19

1st Place: u/PhantomOfZePirates in Group I for "Shattered"

2nd Place: u/nickofnight in Group I for "Last Light"

3rd Place: u/tallonetales in Group I for "The Mirrors of Providence"

Fantastic stories, very difficult to rank. There was another entry I enjoyed immensely, right up there with these three, but ultimately it did not serve as well as it could have as a first chapter (in my opinion).

Lots of great stories in this group. If anyone in Group I happens to be interested in feedback, feel free to message me. Enjoyed the read!

1

u/PhantomOfZePirates Feb 03 '19

Thank you so much for the vote! I’m honored. :)

1

u/TheCatsWeom Feb 02 '19

1st Place: u/Lilwa_Dexel in Group G for "The Veil of Ice"

2nd Place: u/jklimerence in Group G for "Icarus"

3rd Place: u/LadyLuna21 in Group G for "Mirror Mirror"

Good work everyone, I really enjoyed reading all of your stories! If anyone would like feedback for their work, I'd be happy to give it. Keep writing!

1

u/LadyLuna21 Feb 09 '19

Thank you for the vote! I would love feedback on my entry. :)

1

u/Goshinoh Feb 04 '19

I always welcome feedback! Feel free to post it on the original prompt, as a PM, a comment here, whatever works!

1

u/elfboyah Feb 02 '19

Feel free to give me any feedback (under story or pm me) =).

1

u/Lilwa_Dexel Feb 02 '19

Thanks so much for the vote!

1

u/jklimerence Feb 02 '19

1st Place: u/Errorwrites in Group H for "Code of Conduct"

2nd Place: u/EnemyOfAnEnemy in Group H for "Merchant of Misfortune"

3rd Place: u/Checkmqte in Group H for "Herald Goes to Sleep"

1

u/EnemyOfAnEnemy Feb 07 '19

Thank you for the vote!!!

1

u/Checkmqte Feb 03 '19

Thanks so much for the vote. Glad you liked it!

1

u/Errorwrites Feb 03 '19

Thanks for the vote!

1

u/TemporaryPatch Feb 02 '19

1st Place: u/rarelyfunny in group B for "The Hidden Folk"
2nd Place: u/PerilousPlatypus in group B for "The Gates of Fortune"
3rd Place: u/Runningstar in group B for "Judas in Blood"

I had a lot of fun reading everyone's stories, and I'm looking forward to seeing how things turn out for the finals! If you are looking for input on your story, let me know!

1

u/Runningstar Feb 09 '19

Thank you so much for your vote. It really means a lot to me. I would love to hear any feedback you have.

This is my return to writing after have not done really any since 2008. I know I have a lot to work on, but just entering this contest was really important to me as a first stepping stone.

1

u/rarelyfunny Feb 04 '19

Thank you for the vote!!

1

u/elfboyah Feb 02 '19 edited Feb 02 '19

1st Place: u/EnemyOfAnEnemy in group H for "The Merchant of Misfortune"

2nd Place: u/ujustgotplayedmydude in group H for "The Train Ticket"

3rd Place: u/mialbowy in group H for "I Named Him Lucifer"

I left feedback under each of your story (maybe you noticed). Fun fact, I wrote a total of 5241 words of feedback. Yayks.

I have to admit that it was an outstanding group and I loved all of your writings. It was tough to decide the winners. Thank you all for the read! I also learned something about writing while reading yours. Cheers!

Ps: those who read my piece, I am open for any feedback, no matter how harsh it is. It's best way to get better after all. Thank you.

1

u/ujustgotplayedmydude Feb 02 '19

Thank you so much for the vote. This was my first entry to this sub.

Also thank you very much for the feedback I really appreciate it!

→ More replies (1)

1

u/mialbowy Feb 02 '19

Thank you for the vote, and thanks (again) for the feedback.

→ More replies (1)

1

u/Lilwa_Dexel Feb 01 '19

1st Place: u/AsALark in Group H for "To Nowhere"

2nd Place: u/mialbowy in Group H for "I Named Him Lucifer"

3rd Place: u/Errorwrites in Group H for "Code of Conduct"

This was a very tough group to vote for because each entry had its own merits and strengths. So much talent here! I wish I would've been able to vote for more people.

In the end, I had to go with the stories that I felt the most for.

Code of Conduct because of the outstanding imagery and the world full of possibilities. I have no idea where this story is going, and that's very charming to me.

I Named Him Lucifer because I loved the voice of the protagonist. Exceptional work on the characterization of the sarcastic Brit, as well as the A+ humor.

To Nowhere because it really touched my blackened heart and took me on a journey through all the emotions. Dreamy, bittersweet, and realistic at the same time. The scene at the river is one of the best I've read in a long time. The characters were super relatable and I just want to read an entire book about Allie and Emma.

For everyone else in Group H, amazing work as well. I've left feedback on your stories, which I hope will be of some use. Well done everyone!

1

u/Errorwrites Feb 03 '19

Thanks for the vote and for the lovely compliments!

1

u/ubereuphoria Jan 30 '19

1st Place: /u/advo-CAT-usDiaboli in Group B for "The mirror"
2nd Place: /u/rarelyfunny in Group B for "The Hidden Folk"
3rd Place: /u/Lazarus_Pits in Group B for "Imposters"

1

u/rarelyfunny Feb 01 '19

Thank you for the vote!

1

u/XcessiveSmash Jan 30 '19

1st Place: u/Steven_Lee in Group D for "The Best You Can is Good Enough"

2nd Place: u/WahooD89 in group D for "The Lean"

3rd Place: u/potatowithaknife in group D for "He Who Walks Between the Pines"

"The Best You Can is Good Enough": I’m not too big a fan of slice of life stories like this…but I happen to be a fan of fantastic writing. In terms of sheer writing ability and prose quality, your story was incredible. Prose is sort of this intangible thing, a lot goes into it, and somehow at the end it’s good or bad – and you nailed the lot of good things, the dialogue tags, the imagery, the evocative descriptors, the sentence variation, I could go on, you get it, I think. Just as an example: “The same mechanism that created an endless well of love for her children also put a fire behind her eyes for times like these. It made her jut her chin out. Made her mouth turn into a line so thin it resembled a rosy razor.” Fantastic stuff. Further, your characters, from Karen to her two children with very distinct personalities are amazing, Karen especially – you really encapsulated her fears, wishes, just…her. Also, I find it incredibly hard to write children and you nailed it. It did also very much encapsulate the feel of a first chapter. Seriously, I could go on. This is a fantastically written story that under normal circumstances I would not have find very interesting due to my personal taste, but to overcome that and impress me regardless? It’s first place for sure.

"The Lean": This story took me by surprise, I admit. The plot is solid enough, but the mood you set. The desperate MC, the job, the phone calls, the rules, the dialogue, it just really gave me a feeling that I was sitting in on some eccentric mastermind criminal’s meeting as a new guy. You nailed the atmosphere. Your dialogue is fantastic. I especially like how sometimes you don’t say what your MC says, but tell us. What I mean is like: “You good with all the electrical shit?” Rash said, eyeing me up and down. I told him that yes, I was good with the electrical shit.” Like come on, that’s brilliant, just the dry humor involved there – it’s a very cool trick you pull at other points – one that I’ll try out in my own works too I think.

"He Who Walks Between the Pines": Really good urban fantasy – and I love me some urban fantasy. I liked the third person perspective you took, because usually urban fantasy are told in first, and the way you manage to incorporate internal thoughts and impressions, hell, even internal monologue is very impressive – it’s something I struggle with in third person. The story itself is very solid, and the prose is really good as well. I especially liked this bit – it was good writing and a fantastic bit of characterization: “Maybe someone else killed themselves upstairs. Whatever. They can send someone else to deal with that shit.” I really liked Lily, badass outwardly with an actual personality on the inside. I found especially interesting the whole deal with the Delacroix family name bit. Again, just all around very solid. Good writing, great characters, intriguing plot. Would love to read more.

Everyone else, thank you for your great stories! It was a pleasure to go through them and see the varied worlds you created and the different directions you took them in.

1

u/breadyly Jan 30 '19

gl to everyone ! i had such a tough time deciding/ranking - i'll try to get around to posting feedback, but for now, here are my votes:

i had a lot of fun reading everyone in my group's entries & i look forward to reading all the rest(:

1

u/rarelyfunny Jan 30 '19

Thank you for the vote!

1

u/TastyEnchilada Jan 29 '19

1st Place: u/Errorwrites in Group H for "Code of Conduct"

2nd Place: u/EnemyOfAnEnemy In Group H for "The Merchant of Misfortune"

3rd place: u/houseblendmedium In Group H for "The International Paranormal Group"

Dm me if anyone wants a critique! I'd be more than happy to write one up for any of the stories from this group. Great job everyone!

1

u/Errorwrites Jan 30 '19

Thanks for the vote, happy that you enjoyed my story!

1

u/EnemyOfAnEnemy Jan 30 '19

Glad you enjoyed the story! Thanks for the vote!

1

u/tallonetales Jan 28 '19

1st Place: /u/schlitzntl in group J for "A Most Violent Awakening"

2nd Place: /u/Inorai in group J for "Catalyst of Change"

3rd Place: /u/ecstaticandinsatiate in group J for "Gods' Omens"

Great reads all around. These three took the cake.

Still working on posting feedback to each story, but for these top three there were only a few minuscule points that I would have touched on. If you're curious to know what I thought, let me know. Otherwise, congrats!

Cheers!

1

u/Inorai Jan 28 '19

<3 Thanks for the vote!

1

u/WahooD89 Jan 28 '19

1st place: /u/ghost_write_the_whip in Group E for "Chaun"

2nd place: u/Mister_Thursday in Group E for "Snake Eyes"

3rd place: /u/Shadowyugi in group E for "A Haunt, by any other name"

0

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '19

1

u/Ford9863 Jan 28 '19

I'm stoked you liked my entry, but I'm sorry to say you're supposed to vote on group E :/

1

u/Steven_Lee Jan 28 '19

Thanks! ... but aren't you in my group?